But all the time, her stomach was knotting so much that she couldn’t finish her breakfast. She’d made out to Tarkus that she barely knew the youngest son, Rocco Silvester, but in fact, just the sound of his name choked her up with sadness and pain. The truth was, she knew him very well. He’d hurt her more than she’d thought possible, and she never wanted to see him again. And now, if I say yes, he’ll be my mate, she reminded herself. The thought made her dizzy. She stopped in a small clearing and sat down cross-legged, releasing her long brown hair from its ponytail, and letting it cascade down her back. We’re going to live together, in the same cabin. Sharing the same bed? And we’ll have to make out to everyone that we’re happily mated. While all the time, the sight of him will be unbearable to me. Her bear howled in sorrow, and she gave into it, letting it cry until it was spent.
When she was done, she felt a little calmer. She took some deep breaths, filling her lungs with the sweet, damp scent of the forest. Harper was a stoic bear. Life hadn’t dealt her the best hand. Her birth father had mistreated her all of her life. He left her and her mother when she was very young, but kept demanding to see her during weekends and vacations, out of some notion of ownership. They weren’t happy visits. He was always criticizing her and telling her that she wasn’t good enough to be his daughter. He’d often forget to call her or send her gifts on her birthday. When she was 14, she made the decision to cut him out of her life to save herself from the ongoing pain, but the hurt he’d caused her was a scar that would never heal, and made her very vulnerable to rejection. And just as she was recovering and trying to put it all behind her, life had brought more suffering, most notably in the shape of Rocco Silvester. If she could change one thing in her life, it would be not to have had a father at all, and if she could change another, it would be to have never laid eyes on Rocco.
Then, when it had seemed like her mother was the only one who’d ever love her, Tarkus had chosen to be her father and restored her faith in shifter nature.
As Harper gazed at the numberless trees stretching into the distance all around her, she imagined telling Tarkus no. No, she was going to refuse to accept her mate, and prevent him from uniting the two clans and bringing everlasting peace to the Pine Bluff Bears. He would accept her words, but there would be great disappointment behind his eyes. She couldn’t live with that. She had so much respect and gratitude toward him and his entire family, who had shown her so much care. I’m just going to have to make the best of it, she decided.
“I’ll do this,” she said aloud. “I’m strong enough. I’ll say yes and give Tarkus his heart’s desire.”
Tarkus was sitting on the steps of the porch when Harper arrived home, playing with his grandson Luca. Despite the tangle of thoughts in her mind, she smiled at the sight of them. Tarkus was born to be a granddad, always lavishing love and time on his grandkids, and she was happy that she’d have the opportunity to give him some more. At the sound of her step, he looked up, and she caught the strain in his eyes before he replaced it with a smile. He was a handsome silver fox, with a dark gray beard and crinkles at the corners of his eyes and lips when he smiled, which was very often. It was easy to see why her mom had fallen for him.
“Ah, my favorite daughter’s home!” he exclaimed. “Let’s go say hello.” He swept Luca into his huge, powerful arms and hurtled toward her, holding him out at arms’ length. She held her arms out too, and they came together in a group hug, all laughing. He put Luca down, who tottered for a few steps, before falling down onto the soft lawn and staying put, investigating the bugs that lived among the blades of grass.
“Tarkus?” she said hesitantly. He straightened up and faced her, two deep trenches appearing between his brows. He waited, giving her time. “It’s a yes. I give my consent to mating the Broken Hill bear,” she said. He clasped her shoulders as a wide grin lit his features.
“Are you sure, Harper?” he said.
“Yes I am.”
“Thank goodness.” He pulled her into his arms, pressing her against his broad chest. “Harper, my dear daughter, you’ve done an amazing thing for the clan, believe me. And I’m sure it will bring you great happiness too. I know that Rocco Silvester is a fine young bear.” Harper stiffened, her breath hitching in her throat, and she was very glad that he couldn’t see her face. If Tarkus knew Rocco like she did, he wouldn’t be saying that.
I’ll be a good mate, and if the goddess gives me a chance to have cubs, I’ll be the best mother in the world, she resolved later that evening, once she was alone again. But my heart, which once belonged to Rocco Silvester, will never belong to him again after what he did to me.
3
Harper Waverly. Of all the bears in the world, why did it have to be her? Rocco thought as he attached a row of junior-sized punch bags to some low-hanging branches of an old oak tree. The only female he could name who hated his guts. He pummeled one of the bags half-heartedly as he waited for his charges to arrive – a bunch of six-year old shifters, about to have their first ever wrestling lesson. He wasn’t going to wrestle in front of an audience. Not now, maybe never again. But as a compromise, he’d agreed to teach the young bears.
Xander was right. Losing his last fight had hit him hard. He’d been wrestling a Brooks Bear fighter – a shifter he should’ve beaten easily. But he was distracted by a hostile crowd. Two traitors from his own clan who secretly hated the ruling family had deliberately sabotaged the audience, paying them to chant abusive slogans. Rocco was so shocked that he couldn’t concentrate, and he’d been knocked out, for the first time ever. It had hurt his pride a lot, and broken his passion for his favorite sport – and his career. And then he’d taken off for a couple of months, riding around on his bike, drinking, running with bikers, and getting himself into all kinds of trouble, as if he wanted to punish himself for his own defeat. It wasn’t until he’d had a real bad wipeout while surfing at a notorious spot in California, alone and far out to sea, that he realized that it had gone on long enough, and he dragged himself back to Broken Hill, tail between his legs. While he’d expected Xander to be mad at him, his older brother showed him kindness and understanding. But with every day that Rocco refused to fight, he could see Xander’s frustration growing. He had been a champion for his age group in every single category as he was growing up, and was now one of the Broken Hill Bear’s star wrestlers. Agreeing to work as a trainer was a stop gap, and kept Xander off his back – for a while at least.
As if Harper’s going to agree to be my mate anyway, he thought, unconsciously pummeling the punch bag harder and harder. The last time he saw her was five years ago, but he remembered the moment as clearly as if it was yesterday. Those leaf-green eyes that were usually so calm blazing with fury and hatred. Of him. Those pink, perfectly shaped lips spitting furious words. Her hatred was a palpable thing. He could almost see it standing between them, like a flame. She was never going to agree to be friends, never mind mates. Which would mean he was off the hook. Free to mate whatever stranger Xander set up for him instead.
“Hey, Rocco,” a shrill little voice called from behind him. He stopped punching and fixed his face into a friendly expression, before turning around to greet the first of his charges.
An hour later, he was having fun. Training the cubs was actually a lot easier than he’d expected. They were very eager to learn, and they hero-worshipped him, hanging on his every word. He’d already taught them how to throw jabs, and they were lined up at the punch bags, pounding them excitedly, the air full of their shrieks and grunts.
“Nice work, Rocco. You’ve got ’em working hard,” a voice said behind him.
“Thanks, Brains,” Rocco replied not turning around. “Ten more and you’re done!” he yelled to the class instead. Xander laid his arm around Rocco’s shoulders.
“I have some news for you,” he said. “Harper has agreed to be your mate.” Rocco’s chest heaved.
“What?” he spun around. Xander’s brow furrowed.
“Why the sur
prise? You’re a very eligible bachelor. I’m sure every young female in the clans would jump at the chance to be your mate.” Rocco let off a snort.
“Sure. But I wonder if their fathers would say the same thing.” His tone was flippant but his head was spinning. Why would she have agreed to this? Did it mean she didn’t hate him any longer? At the thought, a spark of hope lit inside him. But it was quickly extinguished. She must have said yes because she didn’t have any other option, he realized. The Pine Bluff Bears must’ve put a lot of pressure on her. She would’ve been well aware of what was riding on her decision. Suddenly, he wanted to punch something, ride off on his bike, get himself into trouble again. Why did this have to happen? Why couldn’t he at least get matched with a nice girl that he’d never met before?
“Don’t look so miserable, Roc. I’m certain that this is the beginning of a very satisfactory match,” Xander said, cutting into his thoughts. Instead of replying, Rocco clenched his jaw. Of course Xander didn’t know that Harper hated him. He’d been away in the military when it had all happened, so he had no idea that they’d been anything more than friends. And that was just fine by him.
“I’ve arranged with her father for the two of you to meet tonight and go through the practicalities, such as living arrangements, etc, and the mating ceremony itself.”
“Tonight? Why so soon?” Rocco demanded. Xander chuckled.
“Because, at this point in the game, it’s a political mating, and we need to move fast, before the Black Paws start requisitioning our women. They’ve already been observed sniffing around outside our territory.” Rocco sighed.
“And who said chivalry’s dead,” he drawled.
“That’ll come later, little brother. Tonight you’ll have the opportunity to get reacquainted, and then you’ll have your whole lives to get to know each other.” Rocco groaned inwardly. Our whole lives for Harper to hate my guts and me to feel terrible about it, while keeping my secret from her.
“We need to get going soon, as it’s a long drive. And wear something nice. Let’s make a good impression with the Pine Bluff Bears.” Rocco let off a snort that was more of a snarl.
“Yes, dad,” he said. Sometimes Xander could be more anal than his father ever was. As if it would matter what he was wearing anyway.
“I can lend you something if you want?”
“No, I’m good thanks,” Rocco said shortly.
Half an hour later, they were climbing into Rocco’s customized Ford pickup. Xander had wanted to drive, but Rocco insisted, eager to escape the feeling of being driven to a high school prom. His black hair, still damp from the shower was combed back smoothly and he’d trimmed his goatee neatly. He was wearing a midnight blue button-down shirt with short sleeves, revealing some of the tattoos that adorned his arms, and a pair of snug navy jeans. He’d exchanged his usual biker boots for a pair of stylish tan leather ankle boots, and applied some rich, earthy cologne. Xander looked at him approvingly, but he turned his head away, disinclined to be congratulated on his efforts.
The drive took almost three hours, and Xander chatted the whole time. He seemed to be keen to get Rocco to open up about his recent disappearance, and to find out whether he was likely to fight again in the future, and Rocco was equally keen not to discuss either topic. His thoughts were all on seeing Harper again, on trying to anticipate how she’d react to him. After a while, Xander started a monologue about the clan’s accounts and Rocco zoned out. As he did, an idea occurred to him: maybe she’s got over her anger by now. Maybe that’s why she’s agreed to mate me, he thought. After all, five years is a long time, and we were kids back then. A spark of hope lifted his mood, and his bear sat up, its ears pricking. His bear, of course, was looking forward to seeing her, and he found himself wondering how she’d changed and matured since the last time they’d met.
As he pulled into Pine Bluff territory, his anticipation grew and grew, and by the time they climbed out of the truck, he couldn’t wait to lay eyes on her.
4
Harper stood in front of her bedroom mirror, surveying her reflection. She wanted to look presentable, but not like she’d made a huge effort. She’d had no real choice about this mating, and while she didn’t want her parents to feel bad about it, she wanted to send Rocco the very clear message that she didn’t welcome it. Rocco. Every time his name, or his image popped into her head, something tightened deep in her core. How it was possible to still be so mad at him after so long, she didn’t know. But she was mad. More than mad, because it was the anger that came from deep hurt.
She looked okay, she concluded. She’d left her long dark hair down, and brushed it straight so it skimmed her shoulder blades, and she’d put mascara on the long lashes that framed her slanting green eyes, but she wore no other make up. She was wearing a simple, gray shift dress, black pantyhose and black, low-heeled ankle boots. Being a statuesque bear shifter, she rarely felt the need to wear heels.
The front door knocker sounded with three sharp raps, and her chest tightened. Everything in her revolted so strongly from the thought of seeing Rocco that she felt physically sick. She frowned at her reflection in annoyance. There’s nothing to be nervous about, she reminded herself. I’m doing this for the right reasons. For the clan. However much I might not like it.
Switching her bedroom light off, she strode along the hallway and down the stairs on heavy legs.
Hearing voices out on the veranda, she walked through the house and out the back door. People were gathered at the far corner of the veranda. And when she caught sight of a very familiar shock of dark hair and the silhouette of a powerful, agile body, she stopped dead, her heart in her throat. I can’t do this. I can’t see him and speak to him like everything’s normal. Her breath came quick and shallow and her legs seemed to be incapable of moving forward. As she took a stumbling step, he turned his head away from the conversation and looked at her. Those eyes that she knew so well bored into hers.
“Harper?” he called in his deep, husky voice, which seemed to be reaching right out of their past.
As if in a dream, she walked toward him. He smiled, that same lazy, cool smile that she knew so well, the right corner of his lips curling up more than the left, and his head tipping slightly to the side, and he leaned forward to kiss her on the cheek.
“Hello, Rocco,” she said crisply and stuck out her hand. His forehead furrowed in confusion, but after a beat, he held out his hand too. She tried her best to ignore the sensation of that big, warm hand enveloping hers as she looked at him levelly. She noted his eyes widening in surprise, and the slight dilation of his pupils as his gaze flickered over her features. God, he’s handsome. She’d been hoping that adulthood had taken the glow from his looks, but it had had the opposite effect. His eyes were more incredible than ever – blue-green and piercing. They’d lost some of their childish playfulness and gained the intensity of a full-grown bear. His lips were full and soft and his teeth perfect, while his jaw and cheekbones had broadened. His hair was almost as long as it’d been back in the day, and it still suited him. He looked like one of those olden-day movie stars – James Dean or Marlon Brando. He was the kind of guy that girls swooned over and threw their panties at. With an effort, she forced her face to stay blank.
“Hello, Harper, good to see you again,” he said. His voice had deepened too, inflected with the rumbling timbre of his bear. She could sense his bear too, a huge powerful beast, pacing just beneath the surface. Her own bear was far too lively, pushing at her skin, eager to get reacquainted with him.
“And I’m Xander,” another man said, holding out his hand. He looked a lot like Rocco, similarly huge and bulky, except that he had brown eyes, and a far more solemn aspect to his features. Of course – he was the Alpha of the clan, Rocco’s beloved older brother who had been away in the military. Rocco used to joke about how serious his brother could be, but she’d always sensed the deep bond between them.
“It’s great to see you both,” her mom said to both be
ars, skipping handshakes, and throwing her arms around them instead. Despite her mood, Harper grinned. She and her mom were so opposite. While her mom was always full of affection for everyone, even complete strangers, she tended to hang back, her long-held fear of rejection preventing her from expressing her feelings until she knew they’d be reciprocated.
“Have the two of you met before?” Tarkus asked, handing a glass of Prosecco to each of them.
“We’ve met in passing,” she replied immediately, and was startled to see a flash of pain cross Rocco’s features. Why the hell is he offended? she thought, her annoyance rising. He’s the one who acted like what we had meant nothing to him.
Tarkus made a toast to the successful mating, and they all raised their glasses. Harper kept a smile plastered across her face and took a long slug of the sparkling wine to steady her emotions.
Bear Cuffs: Bear Shifter Romance (Broken Hill Bears Book 3) Page 2
