His father handed the Oracle a large box of provisions – her payment for giving the terrible pronouncement – then he laid a hand on Rocco’s back and guided him out of the cave.
“I have to break up with her,” Rocco said, as soon as they started down the steep mountain track. And he couldn’t say anymore, as his throat was choked with unshed tears.
“I’m afraid you do, son,” his father said, keeping his calm, wise hand on his shoulder. For a long time, his breath came out in ragged shudders.
“What am I going to tell Harper?” he said, once he’d forced his emotions under control.
“You can’t tell her the truth. The words of the Oracle can’t be shared. Otherwise the danger will remain.” Rocco stopped dead.
“Are you serious?” he yelled, his voice breaking with pain.
“I’m so sorry, Rocco. I know what she means to you. Try to break it off gently. Tell her that you’re too young, and your feelings have just gotten too much for you.” Rocco snorted.
“I told her I loved her this morning. As I do every morning.” In fact, he’d kissed every one of her fingers as he gave her ten different reasons why he loved her so much. “And now I’m going to go home and tell her that I’m full of shit?” He stopped dead, staring down at the far-off peak of Broken Hill. “No. Not today. I’ll tell her another day,” he murmured.
“Son. It’s got to be today. We don’t know what the danger is, but we can’t take the risk that something’s going to happen very soon.” Rocco pushed his shoulder-length hair back and puffed air out through his cheeks. Minutes passed, and his father left him to think, to try to come to terms with both the heartbreak he was suffering, and the heartbreak he was about to cause for someone else.
“You’re right, as always, father,” he said at last. “If I love Harper, then I’ve got to protect her. That’s the most important thing.” His father nodded, and he knew he’d made the right decision.
The next hours were hell. Harper greeting him joyfully, teasing him about where he’d been on his ‘secret’ mission. Her noticing immediately that something was wrong, with her unerring intuition. Then those beautiful eyes filling with tears. “Why?” was all she’d ask him, over and over. “But you said you loved me more than anything. And you said we’d always be together.” As his father had advised him, he gave her the same excuse again and again – that he’d realized he was too young to be in such a serious relationship – it sounding lame even to his own ears. And at last she stopped asking. “But you do love me, Rocco?” she insisted. He looked her in the eye, and as his heart broke, he said no. He’d thought he did, but he now realized that he actually didn’t. He saw the fire go out of her eyes. Her bear burst out of her, shredding all of his clothes, his rugged leather jacket, tearing up his flesh. He hadn’t fought back, somehow grateful for the pain.
He thought telling her would be the worst of it, but he was wrong. Afterwards came the pain that he had to bear, all by himself. Spending every breathing second missing Harper and wishing she was with him. Desperate to call her up and say that it had all been a mistake. He stopped eating and wrestling. He lost 20 pounds. He started drinking and smoking. Two months later, he hooked up with another girl – a blonde cat shifter who captained the cheerleading team, and who couldn’t have been a worse match for him. Because he was stupid, stupid, stupid. At the time it had seemed like a smart move, to prove to Harper that she shouldn’t care about him. But now he could see that it had only caused her additional pain. It had been the worst time ever. Even thinking about it now made his eyes sting.
“And now we’re mates,” he said aloud to the trees branches above, gently waving in the breeze. “Could anything be more ironic?”
He knew deep down that none of this was his fault – neither the Oracle’s pronouncement, nor Xander’s insistence that he mated Harper – but guilt overwhelmed him anyway. “I’m going to make her happy, whatever it takes,” he murmured. “This might not be the mating that we both dreamed of in our teens, but I’m going to try my damnedest to make it work.” He sat up abruptly. He was going to start by doing something for her that she’d always dreamed of. He lifted his bike off the ground. To his amazement, the engine started. He hauled it up onto the track again, then he rode it more carefully than he ever had before, all the way back home, as a plan began to take shape in his mind.
He’d never have Harper’s heart again, but if he could make her happy at least, then that was as much as he could expect in this life he’d been given.
9
“What kind of a trip?” Harper asked, wondering why Rocco was looking so excited.
It was a Sunday morning, and he’d made breakfast for both of them, out on the porch. There were eggs, bacon and pancakes, and only the bacon was burned, but it still tasted pretty good. She guessed from the smells coming from the kitchen that there had been several unsuccessful attempts before the current plate of food was ready, and she couldn’t help being touched by his effort. He’d called her down to breakfast a little self-consciously, his hair all tangled as if he’d been tugging at it in frustration. He was wearing a fresh white t-shirt with the sleeves rolled up, displaying his bicep tattoos, and faded blue jeans, which looked incredible on his muscular frame.
“A vacation trip. Actually –” He paused, squinting in the sunlight, his irises the color of the sea on a sunny day. “Kind of a honeymoon.”
Harper’s mouth made a tight O.
“But I don’t need a honeymoon, Rocco. We’re bears, and they’re for humans.”
“No, shifters love them these days. Everyone goes on a big trip after they get mated. What else are we supposed to do with all the money we’re earning from wrestling? And anyway, the clan are always asking when we’re going. It’ll look weird if we don’t have a honeymoon.” Harper raised an eyebrow and looked at him levelly.
“So this is an obligation?” He shrugged.
“Call it a pleasurable obligation.” She suppressed a sigh. The word ‘pleasurable’ was like molasses on his tongue.
“And if I say no?” He shuffled in his chair, in a way that was completely out of character for him.
“C’mon, Harper. It’ll be a lot of fun. I promise. You don’t even have to hang out with me when we get there. Please. I want to do this. I want to show my gratitude to you. To show you I know how difficult all this is.” He leaned a little closer as he was speaking, and a frisson of desire ran through her body. It was like he had a force field around him. That smile. The way his brows knitted together when he was being earnest. The way he ran his hand through his hair, pushing it back from his face. She’d never been able to resist him. When they used to be together, they were always touching, kissing, mating, as if they couldn’t get enough of each other.
“I’ll think about it,” she said. Immediately, a grin lit his face.
“Great!” he said and leapt to his feet, always energized by a positive emotion.
“I’ll clear the plates away,” she said, getting up too.
“No, please. I insist. I don’t want you to be distracted while you’re thinking.” His grin became playful, like the kid he used to be. He carried the plates into the cabin and Harper looked out at the forest in the distance as she drank her coffee. She hadn’t even asked where the trip was going to be. It was of far less importance than whether she wanted to go on a trip with Rocco at all. Maybe it would be good to get away for a few days. Like most shifters, she’d rarely traveled outside of shifter territory. It might be nice to see the rest of the country. Why not enjoy the good parts of being stuck in Broken Hill and being Rocco’s pretend mate?
“So?” Rocco said, cocking his head in that casual way of his. There was a blob of soap suds on his jaw. Who knew how it had got there.
“It depends where it is,” she said.
“It’s somewhere awesome. You’re totally going to love it. But I’m going to keep it a surprise for you.”
“What? No. I need to know where it is first.”
> “Then it won’t be as much fun. Please trust me on this, Harper. I promise you’ll have a great time.” She sighed out a long breath through her nostrils and thought in silence for several long seconds.
“Okay, it’s a yes. I’ll come with you,” she said at last. He leapt toward her, arms outstretched, as if to pull her into a hug. But at the last moment, he remembered. He dropped his arms and stood by her side instead, grinning like a little kid on Christmas morning.
“That’s the best news I’ve heard in a very long time! You won’t regret this, Harper.”
“It’d better be someplace good, Rocco. I don’t want to go somewhere that’s overrun with nasty humans. Especially those ones who are always broiling their skin in the sun.” He laughed, knowing she was only pretending to be so severe.
“It’ll be somewhere you’ve always wanted to go, I promise. So, we’ll leave next Saturday morning, and stay for five days. You’ll need to pack summer clothes and a jacket.”
“City or nature?”
“City.” Her lips parted. Shifters didn’t hang out in cities. Cities stifled them.
“I know what you’re thinking, but you’ll definitely like this one.”
He continued to tidy up the porch and the garden, every part of him fired with enthusiasm. She watched him move, those taut, bulging muscles straining beneath his clothing, and her heart was shot through with regret. Everything was so almost perfect. But so many things lay behind that ‘almost’. They used to spend hours talking about all the places they were going to visit, all the things they were going to do. And they could have that life now. But all the intimacy and love that used to cement their dreams together was missing.
Harper woke up on Monday morning feeling cranky and low. “Why did I agree to this trip?” she muttered to herself as her bear sprung out of her, ready for her early morning run. Rocco had put a spell on her the day before. Making her breakfast; wearing one of those white t-shirts that suited him so well; lulling her into thinking that things were normal between them. He’d always been so persuasive, always known how to access her softer side. She let off a roar of frustration as she left the cabin and headed for the woods. The truth was that even though all those years had elapsed since they’d last been together, there was still no-one who knew her like he did. No-one else knew how to push her buttons. She couldn’t help feeling like she was always the conciliatory one. She’d given everything – first her heart, which he’d rejected, and then her life, for the good of the clan. And now she was giving something else to make him feel good. She snarled and leapt at a nearby tree, tearing up the trunk with her razor-sharp claws. Why am I always so goddamn nice? she growled. I could back out of it, tell him that I’ve changed my mind. But she knew, as the thought flashed across her mind, that she wouldn’t do that. Harper Waverly didn’t change her mind, back out of things, let people down. She was a bear of her word. How tedious, she thought as she tore another chunk out of the tree.
To her relief, Rocco wasn’t around all week. He was away on a wrestling training course with the young bears. But as the week progressed, her gloom deepened. She enjoyed her days teaching the kids at kindergarten. They were a great bunch. Different from her previous class – more aggressive and competitive, as fitted the offspring of such a famous clan – but equally loveable. But then in the evenings, she moped around the cabin alone. She loved helping other people, she really did. But she often wondered when it would be her turn.
On Friday night, she packed her suitcase listlessly, more annoyed than intrigued that she didn’t know what kind of clothes she’d need.
“Jump in,” Rocco called, early the next morning, pulling up in a low-slung red car with a throaty engine. Harper opened the door and sat down on the soft leather seat.
“So, where we going?” she demanded.
“Not telling,” he replied with a grin, and the sporty car took off fast.
“At least tell me how long the drive is.”
“Okay. Around about two hours.”
“What? We’re not even leaving the state?”
“I didn’t say that.” His grin was getting wider and wider and she had to fight the impulse to slap him.
“I hate it when you do this!” she exclaimed. And then she cringed at the familiar tone of her words. She was acting like they’d been together for years. Rocco pulled his aviators down on his nose and flashed her a sideways look. On anyone else, it would’ve looked pathetic, but on him it was cool. And sexy. He looked maddeningly sexy today, she acknowledged with annoyance. He’d grown his sideburns long and had his hair cut shorter, and it suited him.
“Patience, feisty one,” he said. “It’ll be worth the wait, I promise.”
Harper folded her arms and glowered as the miles sped by.
Soon, there were a lot of signs for the airport, and a few minutes later, Rocco was pulling into the long-stay parking lot.
“We’re taking a plane?” she murmured. She looked in her purse for her ID, thinking that it would be funny if she’d left it at home and she couldn’t get on the plane. “Now are you going to tell me?” she demanded as Rocco pressed a switch and the roof of the car rose out of the trunk and glided over their heads, before closing soundlessly.
“C’mon, Harper. Isn’t it more fun to look at the departure board and guess? Can’t we still have a little fun together?” She threw him a bad-tempered glance. But just as quickly, her grumpiness dissolved. It was really impossible to be angry in the face of such unaffected enthusiasm.
“Okay. Let’s do it,” she said. Whistling, Rocco pulled their bags out of the back of the car and took her arm.
“Let’s do it!” he echoed.
“Wait. We’re in the wrong terminal. It says ‘international’,” Harper said as they strode toward the check-in desks. Rocco grasped her around the waist and spun her around.
“I have a gift for you, Harper. You’ve got to close your eyes.”
“What?”
“Just do it.” Sighing, she stopped walking and did as she was told. “Hold your hands out.” Something light and rectangular landed on her palms – like a very thin notebook. “Okay, open them.” She blinked several times. It was like a notebook, except it was dark blue and embossed in gold, with ‘Passport’ written on it in big letters. She opened the first page and gasped. It was a brand-new passport. For her. There was her photo, and all of her details. Everything correct.
“You had a passport made for me?” was all she could say.
“Yup,” Rocco replied, tipping his head back and giving her that look. “I sure did.”
“But why?” He let off a burst of laughter.
“No reason at all.” He spun her around again, so she was facing the departures board. “Now guess where we’re going.”
Harper stared at the list of exotic destinations, her lips parted.
“Rocco, I don’t know. There are so many places. They all sound amazing.”
“It’s Paris!” he yelled, unable to restrain himself any longer. “I’m taking you to Paris, Harper!” She turned so she was facing him.
“What?”
“You’ve always wanted to go. That’s why I’m taking you!”
“Bu-but,” she stammered, blinking fast. His grin faded.
“You’re not happy?”
“I am. I am. This is just a shock, that’s all. I thought we’d be driving for a couple of hours, not flying halfway across the world.”
“I know it’s a little unexpected. But we’ll only be flying for eight hours. We can sleep all the way, and when we wake up, we’ll be in France!” She bit her lip.
“This sounds kind of crazy.”
“Doesn’t it?”
“I’ve never been on a plane before.”
“Me neither. It’s going to be great.”
“Mmm.”
“Harper? Are you okay?”
“Yes. I’m good. I’m excited!”
“Yay!” Before she knew what was happening, Rocco had picked her up
and twirled her around, as if she was a puny human and not a full-grown female bear. She felt dizzy and shocked and elated, all at the same time.
They checked their luggage in, passed through security, and were soon enjoying a cappuccino while looking out of the airport’s big windows at the planes coming in and taking off. Harper’s body was buzzing with emotions: nerves, excitement, confusion. From time to time, she stole glances at Rocco. He just looked excited, and it made her warm to him. For the first time in many years, her anger toward him eased away. Who can help how they feel? she thought. If he’d realized that he didn’t love her enough when they were teens, then it wasn’t his fault. And the way he was treating her now proved that he was a good guy. He couldn’t help the fact that he wasn’t in love with her, and neither of them could help the fact that they had to be mated. Maybe they could be friends. He’d always been her best friend, as well as her boyfriend. She wasn’t ready to have that conversation with him yet – her feelings were still too raw. But maybe, some day.
10
An airplane ride followed by a taxi, and Rocco and Harper were standing in front of their hotel on the bank of the River Seine, bathed in the soft, peach glow of Paris’ early morning light.
“Wow, just wow!” Harper had already exclaimed a dozen times, and they’d been laughing a lot, each other’s enthusiasm infectious. They’d had first-class seats, and Harper had slept for almost the entire flight, snuggled on her side, facing him. He’d spent at least an hour gazing at those dark eyelashes splayed on her cheeks, the locks of dark hair falling across her face, inhaling her scent, desperately wishing she was in his arms. He hadn’t slept much. The seats, though luxurious for humans, were still very cramped for shifters, and his bear had been hard to deal with. It hated being cooped up in the cabin, and was constantly freaking out that it couldn’t see outside. Instead, he watched movies, and was attentively waited on by a succession of giggly flight attendants, who seemed to be convinced that he was a celebrity.
Bear Cuffs: Bear Shifter Romance (Broken Hill Bears Book 3) Page 6
