“I can’t say no. It’s more about my bat … essence.”
“Gross!” That makes me want to shove my fingers in my ears. I let go of his hand and slide further away down the wooden bench.
“What?”
“I’m sure you love spreading your ‘essence’ around.”
It takes him a second to react. “No!” His eyes are so dark and livid. “That is not what I’m talking about. What I mean is … like an essential part of me … my essence. Those instincts I was telling you about.”
“What. Ever.” I have visuals I need bleached from my brain. Boys are so gross.
“No, Connie, I’m serious. Please. This is who I am.”
I take a second to rein in my anger. “Sorry.” I can’t turn into a hypocrite now. I’m always asking him to share this side of himself, and now it’s freaking me out. I need to listen and try to understand.
“I have this creature—this wild animal—inside of me. While I was unable to flip, it was strange. Almost like the bat in me was getting stronger or something.” He doesn’t look happy when he admits this. “He’s an animal driven by instinct and nature. But then there’s me, the guy. Of course, I can make moral decisions, but sometimes as a bat, I don’t want to. Nature isn’t right and wrong. It’s good, pure, and raw, and it can take over. Yes, I know what I’m doing, but it’s not always bad. It just is, and animals don’t overthink stuff. That’s a human brain at work.” His hair has fallen over his eyes. I want to comfort him, but his words have wounded my heart.
I want to love this boy with everything I’ve got, but I can’t let myself do that.
Silence envelops us both. I try to imagine if Feathers lived inside me and how that would feel. What would she make me do that I would be ashamed of as a human? “You need to understand that’s all I’ve got to work with, Rocks—a human brain.”
“Don’t you see? I’m not going to be scoring with girls and putting a notch on my belt. I’m just trying to sustain my species. It’s not emotional.” His voice is raw making me wonder if this is hurting him as much as it is me. He adds softly. “It’s not how I am with you.”
I squeeze my eyes shut. I will not cry today—I will not. His words are spinning around in my head. I understand—sort of—but I cannot share my first boyfriend. I will not become someone I’m not—or do something that I hate the idea of—just for the sake of a boy.
“I’m not trying to make you jealous or hurt you. I swear. It’s my duty.”
“I get it. Okay? But that doesn’t mean I have to like it. You have debts, but I can’t sit by and watch. I can’t … I don’t care what form you are in. We can’t.” I don’t want to say these words, but I must. I will not have more than one female—bat or human—in this relationship. It feels as though I’ve been struck by a wrecking ball. Somehow I got in the way of the giant swinging ball on it’s way to demolishing a building, and now I’m the one that’s been demolished. “We’re done, Rocks.”
“What does that mean?”
“You aren’t my boyfriend any longer, okay? We—are—done.”
“But I didn’t mate last night. I’m in massive trouble with the Sire today because I told her I couldn’t until I had discussed it with you. I swear, Connie, I just didn’t know how to tell you. You saw how angry Strickland is with me. Like I said to you earlier, it’s not about you at all. It’s about me delaying my first blood bond. I did it because … because I love you.”
The tears escape at last. He’s making enemies here because he loves me, but that doesn’t solve our situation. He’s only delaying what must be paid back for him to stay a member of his colony.
“I know you do.” I sniff. “That’s why I’m doing this—”
A mob of bodies in leather, lace and velvet enter his small shop. These aren’t aeronaught customers. The scent of sage hits me, and then I see Sylvana in the middle of the horde. She steps forward and points that blasted ringed finger at me yet again.
“She is to blame. I saw her. I saw her give them aeronaught temptations. She is behind this!” she screeches.
Rocks is on his feet, blocking me from the angry mob. I spy Strickland, Macallister, Cypress, and his sons—Ash and Cedar. Half a dozen other Camazotz I don’t recognize surround them, but it’s the young woman crying that gets me to my feet. I stand next to Rocks in front of the mob.
“Where are they?” the woman yells at me, swiping tears from her face. “What did you say to them?”
As the crowd moves closer, I step back. Rocks holds out his arms as though to protect me and try to stop their advance.
“Sire, what is this? What exactly are you accusing Connie of now?”
13. Job Offer
The angry mob want answers. All I can think of is the crowd of little girls swarming around me earlier. I didn’t tell them anything except I would bring more toys. How can this be the cause of so much anger? Yes, I gave her a book and some toys—hardly a crime. Then, I remember Bailey’s attitude toward the Sire. Maybe some of the other pups have rebelled against his ‘no more aeronaught toys’ command too.
“I saw her telling them aeronaught lies!” Sylvana screeches again. She’s standing closer to Rocks but facing the crowd. Her arms are out wide and her gnarled, crooked fingers wave in front of their faces. I have a clear vision of her hunched over a bubbling cauldron casting spells. Her skirts rustle and jingle as she moves. “I foretold she would be a danger to the Shadows. I foretold it!”
Strickland leaves the group and eyeballs his son. I’m glad Rocks is providing a wall between them and me, but we’re outnumbered. Strickland eventually looks at me over Rocks’ shoulder, breaking the staring competition. “What did you tell them? Where are they?”
“What’s this about?” Rocks demands.
“I promised them I would bring more,” I admitted quietly.
Strickland frowns. “More what?”
“Toys. The little girls that don’t have one.”
“I’m not talking about the dragon nonsense. I want you to tell me where Elm and Oak are immediately!” His voice echoes off the hard surfaces of the shop.
“The twins?” I confirm. How would I freaking know. “I don’t know. I haven’t seen them.”
“She lies!” Sylvana yells. “I witnessed the aeronaught giving the boys some evil from her bag.”
“What evil? I gave them candy—”
“And now they are gone! Did you help them leave? Did you tell them where to run to?” Her eyes are open so wide I can see the whites all around her irises.
My brain is not processing this madness fast enough. I gape for a moment, looking from face to face. The mob is still waiting for an answer. “Tell them where to run to? I don’t know what you’re talking about. It was just candy.”
“Evil modern treats are an easy lure for pups and fledgers,” Sylvana announces like it’s written in stone. “Her aeronaught ways are evil.”
“Evil?” I try to keep my voice even. “My evil modern ways saved him.” I point at Rocks. “Modern medicine allowed him to fly again after having a broken wing. How can you seriously think it’s evil?”
Several members of the group stare at Sylvana waiting for her to counter my argument, but she can’t. She’s got nothing, and she knows I know it. I stare her down not breaking eye contact until Rocks speaks. I hope the others think about what I said later.
He tells the posse he noticed the boys were staring at me last year at the blood ceremony, and they followed us back to his shop on foot through the woods. “Didn’t you see them?” he says to me. “They were staring at you—like really obviously.”
“No, it was a bit hard to tell those two were staring at me when the whole freaking colony was staring at me.” I fold my arms over my chest.
“I do not believe it was candy she gave them,” Witchy-pooh announces.
My anger bubbles above the disbelief that is brewing in my stomach. I push between Rocks and Strickland. “I’m not the only one that gave them something that day,
” I argue.
I explain that I did talk to the twins after returning from Duskwing, and I gave them the candy dispenser—nothing else. It takes a moment to describe a PEZ to the gathered Camazotz, and more mutters and grunts follow.
“Sylvana was whispering in their ear about me,” I say, looking from their crying mother to Strickland. “She was pointing at me and then they came over. Ask her what she told them. I did, but the boys refused to tell me.” I don’t know why I’m bothering to speak. These aeronaught-haters are never going to believe my word over one of their own.
“Where are they?” the young woman, Hannah, begs. “I want my boys back.”
“How would I know where two young bats would fly off to? Like seriously?”
Rocks steps forward so I feel his body against my back. “When were the boys last seen?” he asks.
Several voices speak at once. Eventually, it’s established that the twins have not been seen at the market, or the roost, for two days. Cypress doesn’t take his eyes off me as I swear I have no idea where the boys are, and that I didn’t help coerce them into leaving the Shadows.
“Why on earth would I lure them away from here?” I argue in utter disbelief. I feel sick. How can they honestly think I am involved with this?
“The last time one of our own went missing an aeronaught was involved,” Cypress says between gritted teeth. “And, we all know how that ended.”
Strickland and Rocks both flinch at his words. “Connie had nothing to do with Celand going missing, and she has nothing to do with this,” Rocks says in a calm voice to the group. His eyes move to Cypress as he continues. “If you weren’t so prejudiced about your boys being born human, they would still be here. Maybe if you’d treated them like equal members of your family, they wouldn’t have left.”
A yelling match ensues between all the males. I slump down on the bench and press my cool fingers to my temples. “What about the owls?” What if they got caught flying back to the roost by an owl? It wouldn’t be the first time one had gotten too close to them.
Silence follows my suggestion. Macallister—the Fold member who usually only speaks about me, rather than to me—comes closer. “What do you know about that, little naught? Are you upset the owls have moved on after winter? You planning on releasing more?”
His implication slams me like a punch to the stomach. The air in my lungs slowly evaporates. I blink. “What?” I gasp; glad to be sitting down. “You think I did that?” Is he seriously blaming me?
Rocks has him by his leather vest and is leaning over nose-to-nose with the much shorter Fold member. “How dare you—”
Strickland and Cypress pull him off Macallister before he can say anymore. They shove him back next to me, and Strickland points at him to stay put. The disgust that Rockland would raise a hand to a Fold member is evident on all their faces.
“Taking her side over your own blood. You are a disgrace,” Macallister adds, spitting at Rocks’ feet.
I will not allow them to punish him anymore on my account. Standing, I look at the whole red-faced group. “I guess you’re going to accuse me of flipping and scratching those school children next? Blame it all on me,” I say, my voice rising with my temper. “I am in love with one of your own. Why would I ever want to hurt any of you? Don’t you see that would only hurt him?”
Several people gasp, and Rocks’ fingers grasp my elbow, but I pull away. “I’m leaving. I will not stand here and be accused of total bullshit. You can blame me all you want” —I stare at Sylvana— “but I had nothing to do with it, and blaming me won’t bring those poor boys back.” I turn to face Cypress next. “And you, you have always stared at me with utter loathing and hatred. I can’t even imagine how your poor boys coped with that level of disgust their whole lives. Your prejudice is to blame.”
Grabbing my bag, I swing it over my shoulder, but the door is blocked, and my nerves aren’t up to getting closer to these pissed off Camazotz.
“Ban her!” Cypress cries.
The muscles in Strickland’s jaw tighten. “Do not return.”
“No!” implores Rocks. “Sire—”
“Let her pass,” Strickland states. The sea of bodies separates the second their Sire speaks. The loud roaring between my ears blocks out the protests coming from Rocks. Maybe this is perfect timing. Maybe this is a sign from the universe that I shouldn’t date a Camazotz.
As I unlock my car, Rocks flips next to me. I scan the half-empty parking lot, but no shoppers are present to witness his magical transformation.
“Connie, please. Wait.”
My pounding heart isn’t helping my frayed nerves. “This is it. We’re done.”
“But, you love me.”
I can’t look in his eyes, just the sound of his voice tells me what I’ll see there if I dare. Having never broken up with a guy before, I had no idea it would hurt to this degree.
“And because of that, I won’t share.” I sigh. The pain in my chest almost numbs my heart. “Goodbye, Rocks.”
* * * * *
My shift at the Bun Lovin’ Barn is the only reason I stopped crying. My sinuses are blocked; my temples are pounding, and no amount of makeup will conceal my puffy red eyes or nose. I tell Tiff that Rocks and I are no more. The conversation is short because the tears threaten to spill again, and with the heavy foundation I’m wearing, that will be a disaster. Tiff makes me a sweet iced tea, points to the door, and insists I take a break.
The worst of winter finally seems to be over. I sit on the milk crate and stare into the trees next to the van. The streetlight shows a hint of green starting to bud on the branch tips. Spring is breaking through at last—a new beginning. Maybe it’s time for a fresh start for me as well.
I sip the tea and close my eyes. The look on Rocks’ face when I closed my car door and drove away will haunt me always. Devastated, crushed, betrayed—but he’s not the only one.
“You never called.”
The tea falls from my hand as I jump three inches into the air. Enzo Ascari is standing with one hand on his hip and the other leaning on the closed door. He steps over the river of tea and ice running toward his shiny shoes.
“Stay away from me.” I scramble to my feet to escape, but he’s blocking the door.
“Now, Contessa, that’s no way to speak to your father.”
“You are not my dad. I have a dad. Thank you very much.” I’m positive he can see my heart thumping against my chest. Enzo chuckles, shaking his head.
“I have a business offer for you. Remember? Did you figure it out?”
“Why on earth would you think I want to do business with you?” I make a mental note to check my horoscope later. I’m betting my planets are in ‘fudge with Connie’ alignment this week.
“Now, now.”
“You sell drugs to kids—KIDS—just like me.” I whisper/yell at him.
“No, I don’t—”
I give him the biggest eye roll I can muster without getting dizzy. “Do all adults lie so easily?”
“You never let me finish. What I was going to say is that I don’t sell drugs to kids like you because you, my darling daughter, are too smart for that.”
“Don’t call me that.” The irony of me being desperate to find my real dad and now being desperate to lose him again is not lost on me.
“Whether I call you my daughter or not, the fact remains that you are my flesh, dear child.”
Yeah, like I need to be reminded of that horrifying fact.
My feet are itching to climb the steps and get away from him. “My break’s over. Move.”
“Wait!” His tone has gone from silky smooth to deadly. My sneakers are cemented in place as my heart rate rockets out of control again.
“Do not waste my time,” he says a little softer. “I have decided it’s time for you to join the family business. The timing couldn’t be better. You will take over from Sophia while she is away.”
What the—
For the second time today, my brai
n is having trouble processing the crazy that’s being spouted at me. “Join? What? Work for you?” A nervous giggle escapes. My head feels weird and I take a deep breath. “You are like totally cray-cray! You should have told me this last time ‘cause I would’ve said no and saved you the visit. Work for you? Nah-uh, no way.”
“I don’t make a habit of disclosing my plans until I know who is with me … or against me.” The look in his eyes chills my blood to the bone.
“Why me?” I swallow the lump in my throat. “I don’t know the first thing about your business, and I don’t ever want to either.”
“Come now. I have copies of all your school records starting with first grade and know you have perfect grades in Economics and Accounting. It pleases me you share your sister’s talents.”
I stare at him, trying to close my gaping mouth. How much does he know about me exactly?
“A car will be waiting to pick you up Monday after school. I suggest you don’t give the men in my employ any trouble. They’re loyal to me. Upset them, and you will be sorry. Understand?”
“No, I don’t understand any of this! Me? I can’t.”
“Can you count money?”
“Yes—”
“And you wouldn’t dare steal from me, would you?”
My eyes widen at the ludicrousness of that idea. “Pfff, I’m not an idiot.” As the meaning of ‘me’ becomes clear my ears burn. “Technically, I didn’t take that money, just so you know.”
“Perfect. The job is yours.”
“I don’t want the job. I’m sure you are inundated with wannabe gangstas that would be thrilled with your offer. Me? Not so much.” He frowns but doesn’t say a word. My skin crawls and my gut is screaming at me not to sass him. Giving attitude to Mom and Dad is one thing, but I doubt Enzo will be so forgiving. I swallow. “Why now? Why me?”
Sanguine Moon Page 18
