by Alexis Gold
“Do you want to cut the cord, Cameron?” he asked, handing scissors to him. Cameron paused for a moment and he could suddenly hear Aaron’s voice in his head. “Get your head in the game. Get in there and do it now, or you’ll regret it later.”
He took the scissors and reached over and cut the cord. The sound made him cringe, and the blood made him queasy, but the sight of his son being wiped down and handed to him was the most profound experience of his life. He stood there, staring at the baby in his arms as it cried, and tears flowed from his eyes.
The boy was big, even for being born earlier than his due date, and he had ten fingers and ten toes, and a full head of tiny black curls. Cameron showed him to Delilah, and she looked at him with tears in her eyes, and then looked away.
Cameron gave the baby to the nurse and she took him away to be cleaned up and tested, then he leaned over to Delilah, held her hand and whispered to her, “Thank you so much. Thank you for my son.” The doctor sewed her up and she was taken to her room to rest.
Cameron stood at the window of the nursery, watching as the nurses cared for his little boy, and his friends stood by his side, all of them staring in amazement.
Mikey shook his head. “Cam, you’re a dad! A dad! I can’t believe it.”
“More importantly, I’m an uncle!” Josh smiled and elbowed Cameron.
Cameron turned and smiled at his friends, and then they hugged each other, overwhelmed with joy and happiness.
“How come the little guy came so early?” Aaron asked.
“I don’t know,” Cameron answered honestly, “it might have just happened, or it might have been stress. It was a hell of a day. I got home this afternoon and I knew that Delilah had gotten the cast taken off of her arm.
“She kept talking about how she wanted to go swimming in the ocean at the beach behind my place, and I just knew that with that cast gone this afternoon, she’d be out there. She’s a champion swimmer in her regular life.
“I was watching her from the library window, and she was doing laps. She started going out really far, and it worried me, I thought she was doing too much, you know, going too far, and I went outside to watch her, just to make sure she was okay.
“Then all of a sudden, she stopped swimming and she looked like she was being pulled under, and she was splashing around; it wasn’t right. I got out to her as fast as I could and brought her back in.” The memory brought tears to his eyes.
“She said her leg had cramped up and she couldn’t swim anymore.”
Aaron shook his head and looked at his friend in wonder. “You saved her life, and you saved your son’s life. Wow. That’s huge, man. That’s huge.”
Cameron continued. “We were talking, and she started having contractions and I got her here as fast as I could. Thanks for calling ahead for us here at the hospital, and for letting the guys know, Aaron. I appreciate it.” Aaron nodded and hugged Cameron.
“She might not have made it through the childbirth, if she hadn’t had a C-section. The baby was turned sideways and the doc said we had to do it this way,” said Cameron.
Jim rocked on his feet and looked up at Cameron.
“Hey Cam, she’s going to take some time healing; this isn’t like the regular deal. It’ll be six weeks before she’s really up and around like she should be. What do you want to do about that? Do you want her back at her apartment with a nurse on call, or do you want her at the house? This was supposed to be over for her now, but we never planned for a C-section.”
Cameron answered immediately. “I want her at the house. She’ll get the best care and rest there, and all her stuff is already there in her room, anyway.”
Jim clicked his tongue and shook his head. “You sure, kid? She’ll bond with your son and then it will be harder for her to leave. You might want to think about it a little bit more.”
Cameron shook his head. “I want her at the house. She’s given me the greatest gift I’ve ever known, and she needs help, so I’m going to be there to help her.”
“I think that’s a lovely idea, darling,” Maryanne said as she walked up and hugged her son tightly. “Where is my grandson?” Renee was in tow right behind Maryanne, and both of them pressed their faces against the glass window, staring in rapturous delight at their new little man.
Cameron clapped Jim on the shoulder and smiled. “My mom says it’s a good idea, and you can’t argue with my mom.”
Jim pressed his lips together and walked away quietly as all of them stared through the window, talking and smiling. He headed to Delilah’s room to talk with her about it.
Delilah was awake when Jim stepped into her room and closed the door. He came up to the bed and she looked at him. “I guess I’m done now,” she said, tiredly.
“I guess so. There are some things to talk about. First, I realize that we changed the details of the contract, but you held out on your end of the bargain and Cameron has his son, so here’s your money.” He reached out and placed a check on the table beside her. She didn’t look at it; she just kept her eyes on Jim.
“The other thing is this. You’ve just had a C-section and that takes some time to heal. It takes six weeks. Cameron is excited about the baby and he’s got it into his head that he owes you even more than what he’s already given you. I told him he ought to put you back at the apartment so you can heal quietly and in peace, but he’s talking about you being at his place for another six weeks.
“I’m beginning to become concerned about the time you’ve spent together and how wrapped up in this he’s become. I understand that he wants to be a father, and I’ve helped him make it happen, but now that he’s got his son, he needs to get his head back in the game and keep it there. If you’re around, that’s just one more distraction to keep his mind from being where it should.
“The baby will be fine; Maryanne and Renee will look after him. But Cameron, he is such a good guy, you know. He feels such a sense of duty to everyone all the time, and I would hate to see him get used and suffer because of it.
“You’ve done your part, and you’ve been paid, just like we agreed. I want to ask you to take my advice and go to the apartment. Give Cameron the time he needs with his son and let him stop worrying about you.
“When he comes to talk with you about it, just tell him that’s what you want to do, okay? Put him first and bow out gracefully. Go focus on your education and your own goals. The deal is done and it’s time to move on. Okay?” Jim smiled at her and patted her leg.
Delilah looked at him and felt like she might throw up. He had good points, and he had hard points. She’d talked herself into leaving the baby she’d carried in her for almost nine months and now she was having to leave Cameron as well.
It was a difficult thing to try to do, but she understood just what Jim was saying, and no matter how hard it might be to try and do, she’d have to do it. He was right. It was time to go. “Okay,” she whispered, and then looked away from him.
He patted her leg again and said, “Good girl.” Then he turned and left, and she fell asleep and dreamed strange dreams of oceans and cars and babies and family. She slept deeply for a long time, and when she woke up, she was in her room at Cameron’s house.
She looked around the room and tried to sit up in bed, but found that the pain was too much for her. Renee was nearby, reading in a chair, and came up to Delilah’s bed when she woke up.
“Hey! There she is! How are you feeling?” Renee asked with a huge smile on her face.
Delilah rubbed her hand over her eyes and looked around again. “I’m confused. I thought I was going to go back to my apartment and heal up there. What am I doing here?” She began to get a better look around her and noticed that her room was filled with several bouquets of flowers. Renee beamed down at her.
“Well, Cameron and mom and I wanted you here, so we brought you back here. You have been on a lot of pain medication, so you weren’t awake when it happened. Can I get you anything? Juice? Water? Are you hungry?”
“You’re my guest,” Cameron said, walking into the room and smiling at her.
Delilah looked up at him and her heart flipped over in her chest. She smiled up at him and leaned her head back against her pillow. “Well, we did it. You’ve got your son. How’s he doing? Is he okay?” she asked, feeling sure that he must be, if the grin on his father’s face was any indication.
Renee squealed, “If you’re coming in here, then it’s my turn with the baby!” And she darted out the door.
“He’s amazing! I can’t get over it… it’s so incredible to have him here. He’s the greatest thing that’s ever happened to me.” He walked up to Delilah and leaned over her, kissing her forehead. “Thank you so much.”
“No problem… all in nine months’ work. Almost. I wanted to apologize for going out swimming… I shouldn’t have done that.”
“No apologies!” he said, sitting in the chair beside her and reaching for her hand to hold it in his. “You would have been fine out there if you hadn’t gotten the cramp. I think it was just the stress of your experience that put you into labor. He’s fine, and you’re doing alright, so no harm, no foul, right? I’m just glad you’re okay and that you’re here.”
She felt her heart grow tight in her chest. She knew Jim was right, and she knew she had to tell Cameron that. “Cameron, my job was to carry your son and then give birth to him and be gone.
“I shouldn’t have been here the last couple of months, and I shouldn’t have spent any time with you, but that’s just how it worked out and now the job is over and it’s time for me to go. I don’t want to get in your way, and I don’t want to hinder your bonding time with your son. I just need to leave; it’s time for me to go.”
She thought her heart might break in two, but she managed to get the words out and to sound like she meant them. The truth was, though, that she wasn’t sure at all if she meant them.
She didn’t want to think about what it would be like to not be at his house, not see him, and deep in her heart she had to admit to herself that she didn’t want to let go of the baby she’d carried and given birth to that day. The image of his little face just moments after he was born was still with her.
“See… that’s just the thing, though,” Cameron said, moving closer to her.
“You aren’t in the way, not at all. Delilah, you need to stay here to heal. You went through so much, and it really brought you back down again. Mom and Renee and I can take good care of you, and there’s a nurse scheduled to come by to help you. You’ve got to stay here to heal.
“Besides, I was wondering if maybe you might nurse the baby while you’re here… you know, breast milk is best, and we want the best for that little guy. What do you think? I’ll take good care of you and you can help me take good care of the baby?”
She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She was terrified. What if she bonded with him? What if nursing him and then trying to give him up was more than she could take? But on the other hand, she could be around Cameron just a little longer, and the idea of that bittersweet torture was very tempting to her. She could spend some time with the baby, at least a little before she had to disappear forever, and a little was better than nothing, she thought.
She opened her eyes and looked at Cameron, drinking in his beautiful face and his brilliant, happy smile.
“Okay. I’ll stay until I’m healed and I’ll nurse the baby, and then when I’m better, I will go. Thank you for keeping me here a little longer, Cameron. It means a great deal to me.”
He nodded and smiled, kissed the back of her hand lightly and then left the room.
He came back a few minutes later with a tiny bundle in his arms and his mother and sister right behind him, both of them bright-eyed and wearing enormous grins. They were nothing short of giddy. Cameron leaned down and carefully handed the baby to Delilah, who felt as though somehow her heart had just exploded, and her soul had caught on fire.
There in her arms was the most perfect and beautiful little baby she had ever seen. He curled his little fingers tightly and looked up at her from big green eyes that were a mirror of her own.
His skin was caramel colored and the soft dark curls in his hair crowned his head. He blinked at her and yawned, opening his tiny mouth in a little “O”, and then closed his eyes and settled in for a nap.
She looked up at Cameron and saw that he was watching her with moist eyes and a soft smile.
“What did you name him?” she asked.
He sat beside her and reached up to touch her face, running his fingers slowly over her cheek.
“I named him Oliver, because he has olive green eyes like his mother, and every time I look at him, all I see is you, and I love that.”
Her breath caught and she turned her face from his, looking out the window for a moment, closing her eyes, trying to hold the emotion rushing through her. There was a tidal wave of happiness and excitement, sorrow and pride, heartache and love, twisting through her at the same time.
It felt like it was pulling her down, and she might not be able to surface for air. She feared she wouldn’t be able to open her eyes without sobbing and having her heart break out loud, right there in front of everyone.
She took a deep breath, steadying herself as much as she could, and she looked down at little Oliver lying peacefully in her arms. Then, she looked up and saw Renee, Maryanne and Cameron looking at her with such tenderness and happiness. That feeling of family and of belonging filled her to overflowing, only slightly tinged with the nagging reality that she’d have to give it all up in six weeks. She sighed and kissed the baby, then handed him to his father and said that she needed to rest, and they left her alone.
She dreamed, and when she woke up she found that she was living in her dream. There she was in the big beautiful house, Renee and Maryanne were there taking care of her and helping her take care of Oliver.
Cameron came home every chance he got, playing with the baby and spending as much of his time as he could with her. Delilah soaked in every precious moment of it, and day by day she healed. Cameron was fascinated with Delilah breastfeeding Oliver and he loved to be there as often as he could to see them bonding, and the natural beauty of it.
After she was standing and walking enough to get around, Cameron helped her from her bed one day and walked her into his room, and then into the adjoining nursery, and she saw Oliver’s room for the first time. It was different than she thought it would be.
There was a mural that wrapped around all of the walls, and the stadium that Cameron played in was on one wall, filled with cheering crowds, confetti and his dad and three other men standing out in front grinning and holding footballs.
But on the wall next to it was the ocean, stretching off to the horizon, and it was teeming with fish, boats and sea creatures, like whales and mermaids, scuba divers and undersea realms. Beside that was a wall of windows overlooking the ocean and beach behind the house.
The wall coming up to the stadium was an open and sunny football field, but simply done, like it might have been a field that neighborhood kids would play in, like part of a park.
She turned in a circle looking at it all and looked at his crib and furniture, his toys and the rocking chair in the corner. She turned to look at Cameron and grinned at him.
“It’s wonderful! I love it!” she said, happiness and sadness interlocked within her.
Cameron walked toward her and stood in front of her. “I’m glad you like it.”
He said it quietly, lifting his hand to her cheek and brushing his fingers over her skin. She turned her face slightly in toward the palm of his hand and for a single moment, she let herself soak in the feeling of him being so close to her, and she brushed the side of her lips against his hand and closed her eyes.
He felt the draw toward her pull him like gravity and he could not hold himself back any longer. Looking at her there, he
r face in the palm of his hand, he felt like he was holding his whole life, right in that moment, and Aaron’s voice echoed through his head. “You better get in there… do it now or you’ll regret it later.”
He turned her face up to meet his and he gently pressed his lips to hers, feeling their softness and warmth. She drew in her breath and felt her insides spin as his arms closed around her and pulled her in to him, holding her close.
His mouth was tentative on hers at first, barely touching, but then he opened her lips with his and tasted her, moving his tongue over hers and drinking her in.
Delilah let herself fall into the moment, and she reached her arms up to hold him, pressing him closer to her, and returning his kiss, reveling in the warmth that spread from his mouth all throughout her body, heating her up and making her heart beat faster. He kissed her deeply and gently, letting all of his inhibitions melt away as the sweetness of her kiss filled him with serenity and love.
