by Jenna Black
“Hey,” I said, a neutral greeting.
“You sound tired.”
On cue, I yawned. “You could tell that from one word?”
“I can read you like a book, remember?”
I shook my head, refusing the second yawn that tried to bubble up. “Especially when Lugh’s given you the CliffsNotes?”
There was a moment of silence. “Was it that obvious?”
I scrubbed at my gritty eyes. “Yeah.” I didn’t elaborate.
Another silence, longer this time. “Aren’t you going to tell me what you think of me?” he finally asked.
“No. I already reamed Lugh out about it. I’ll let you off with a warning: don’t do that again.”
“Do what?” I made a snarling noise, and Brian hastened to clarify. “Talk to Lugh, or—”
“Either!” I snapped. Of course, my treacherous mind called up the intoxicating sensations he’d awakened in my body when I’d surrendered to him, and my pulse kicked up. Damn it, it had felt so good! And here I was telling him never to do it again. Not that my words were likely to have much of an effect.
“Maybe this is something we should discuss in person,” Brian suggested, and I could almost see the suggestive waggle of his brows.
As usual, my first instinct was to push back. It was on the tip of my tongue to tell him no, but then I considered my alternatives. I could sit here in the office for another hour or two, getting little to nothing done and struggling against sleep. Or I could go home by myself and face the same struggle. Or I could meet up with Brian. At least if I was with Brian, I’d be facing a struggle that would keep me awake.
“You’re right, it is,” I said, smiling as I imagined the look of shock that his face must have been wearing at the moment. “If you want to talk, meet me at my apartment at six-thirty. And bring food.” I hung up before he could answer, but there was no doubt in my mind that he would come.
I hoped he’d had fun with his little dominance game. Because tonight, I was going to make him pay for it.
Feeling decidedly more awake than I had all day, I shut down my computer and stuffed my unfinished paperwork into my desk.
My mood sank a bit when I got home and listened to my messages. Adam had called and asked me to call back. I didn’t much want to talk to him, but if he’d managed to get anything out of Tommy last night, I had to know. I started a pot of coffee, then dialed his number.
“Tell me you have some good news for me,” I demanded when Adam answered, though I knew if he’d had really good news, Tommy wouldn’t have stopped by this afternoon.
“Afraid I can’t do that, love,” he confirmed. “However, I did find out something interesting.”
I raised an eyebrow, even though he couldn’t see me. “Oh?”
“I went back to the club after we talked last night. Tommy’d just gotten there and I assumed he was trolling the place. I approached him, hoping I could get him to spend a little time in Hell with me. . and he turned me down.”
I swallowed a laugh. “Wow, that’s just amazing! To think that there’s a person on this earth who might turn down the incredible Adam White.” I put a hand to my chest and groaned dramatically. “What is this world coming to?”
“You’re just a laugh a minute,” Adam said, but though he was striving for an air of nonchalance, I heard the simmering anger beneath it. The bruises on my back flared to life, reminding me what Adam could be like when he was pissed off. Not that he could do anything to me over the phone, but still. .
“Sorry,” I said, but I don’t think I sounded too sincere. “I couldn’t resist.”
“It isn’t the fact that he turned me down that’s interesting. It’s the why.”
“Okay, I’ll bite—why did he turn you down?”
“I hung around the club for a couple hours afterward, and I saw a very definite pattern. Apparently, he’s only interested in women.”
I blinked a couple of times. “And this is interesting because. .?”
“Because it’s highly unusual for a demon to have a strong sexual preference when on the Mortal Plain. Sex for us here has nothing to do with reproduction and everything to do with physical sensation.”
I’d always suspected that Adam swung both ways, but up until now I hadn’t been completely sure. I’d never felt safe with Adam, but a part of me had taken comfort in the idea that he was gay and therefore not a sexual threat. I’d have preferred to keep that illusion.
“What do you think it means?” I asked, hoping my voice sounded absolutely normal.
He gave a frustrated sigh. “I don’t know. But my instincts say it’s important. I’m going to go to the club again tonight and keep an eye on him, see if I can figure out what he’s up to.”
“Have you told Dom yet?” I blurted, and the guilty silence on the other end of the line was answer enough. “You know that the more time you spend at the club, the more likely it is Dom will find out.”
Adam didn’t answer, but I knew he heard the truth in my words.
“I know you’re about as eager to take advice from me as I am to take it from you,” I continued, “but I’ll say this anyway. Don’t go to the club tonight. You probably wouldn’t learn anything anyway.” I then told him about Tommy’s visit to my office this afternoon. “Obviously,” I concluded, “he’s on high alert right now. If you start staking out the club, he’s going to figure out something is up.”
“Do you have a better idea?”
I frowned. “I’m working on it. I know you think I should let the professionals handle this, but I’m just not convinced there’s anything you can do right now.”
“You’re probably right. But if anyone’s going to risk their neck going after Tommy, it had better not be you. Much though I hate to admit it, you’re too important to risk.”
That made me wince, though I was immediately pissed at myself. There was no reason in hell for me to care if Adam liked me or not. Especially considering how little I liked him. But every time he hinted at what he thought of me, it brought a little stab of pain. Pathetic! You’d think I’d have gotten over the fruitless quest for approval by now.
“I’ve got other concerns anyway,” I said, hoping my voice didn’t betray the hurt. Then, because I knew if I said anything more I wouldn’t be able to hide how I felt, I hung up.
I’d downed half my pot of coffee by the time Brian arrived, and my nerves were stretched taut by caffeine while my eyelids still tried to droop. There’s nothing like that special feeling of being sleepy and jittery at the same time to put a girl in a warm fuzzy mood.
Brian arrived right on time, bringing a large pizza that quickly filled my small apartment with the scent of garlic. He took one look at me and tossed the pizza onto my minuscule dining room table.
“What’s wrong?” he asked, putting both hands on my shoulders and peering into my eyes with his trademark gentle concern.
I tried to muster my usual snappish response, but sleep deprivation had eroded my carefully constructed defenses, and for a moment I feared I would burst into girly tears for no particular reason. When Brian pulled me into his arms for a hug, I had to bite down hard on my lip to keep myself under control.
“Nothing’s wrong,” I murmured unconvincingly into his chest. “I’m just tired.”
His lips whispered over the top of my head. “I know you far too well to believe that,” he said. “But I also know if I push, you’ll just get pissed at me, so I’ll try my hardest to be on my best behavior.”
He set me away from him, and I looked into his eyes. Once upon a time, he wouldn’t have been able to resist pushing. My inability to share my feelings with him had caused more arguments between us than I can count. If he was finally learning to back off. .
But no. Those whisky-brown eyes of his held sympathy, but also a hint of calculation. This was a tactical retreat, not a change of heart. I stifled a sigh, then turned to the table and opened the pizza box.
Extra cheese, and plenty of pepperoni, swimm
ing in greasy goodness. My stomach grumbled, and I tried to remember if I’d eaten any lunch today. Brian retrieved plates and paper towels from the kitchen; then we dug into our pizza without speaking. Brian used the paper towels to dab some of the grease off the top of his pizza, but I figured with the amount of caffeine in my system, I must be burning up calories at an impressive rate, so screw the grease.
For a while, we ate in companionable silence. I reveled in Brian’s presence, in his calm strength and kindness, and, yes, in his love. It sounds pathetic, but before Brian, no one had ever really loved me for who I was. My parents had always wanted to change me, as had my brother—at least once the Spirit Society had gotten its claws into him. My boyfriends before Brian had all been under the illusion that they could somehow tame me. They had never lasted very long.
What kind of fool was I to work so hard to hold Brian at arm’s length when he really, truly loved me?And when I loved him in return? Once upon a time, I’d told him—and myself—that it was for his own protection, but that was bullshit.
“You look like you’re thinking very hard,” Brian said, and I’d been so spaced out I practically jumped out of my chair.
I shoved away my plate, which was littered with pizza crusts, and tried to drag my mind back into the real world. Introspection was not my thing, but the lack of sleep was making me loopy.
“Sorry,” I said. “I’m just really, really tired.”
He raised an eyebrow. “Oh?”
It was a very gentle invitation for me to tell all, and usually I would have declined that invitation without a second thought. But today I overrode my own instincts.
“Lugh and I are having a bit of a disagreement,” I admitted. “If I go to sleep, he’s going to take matters into his own hands. I know I can’t stay awake forever, but. .” I shrugged.
True, it wasn’t much of an explanation. But it was more than I would usually give him, and I could see by the look on Brian’s face that he knew it. He leaned over the table and wrapped his hand around mine, giving me a comforting squeeze despite my greasy fingers.
“I can stay with you tonight,” he said softly. “And if Lugh tries to take control, I can wake you up.”
My throat tightened. “You would do that? Even when you don’t know what the disagreement’s about?”
His hand squeezed mine more tightly. “I’m on your side, Morgan. No matter what. So yeah, I’d do that.”
The intensity of his gaze unnerved me, and I tried to pull my hand away. He didn’t let me.
Fine, let him have my hand! But I escaped his gaze by staring at the table. “You and Lugh teamed up against me once before,” I said. “Why should I believe you won’t do it again?”
Brian reached across the table and tried to lift my chin to force me to look at him. A little of my usual fire returned, and I jerked away.
“Don’t treat me like a child!” I snapped, then cursed myself because I couldn’t help looking him in the eye when I was pissed off. The faint smile he tried to suppress told me he’d done it on purpose.
“What if I promise you that no matter what, I’ll wake you if Lugh tries to take control?” he asked. “Will you accept that promise?”
He finally released my hand, and I drew it back gratefully.
Could I trust Brian’s promise? “What if Lugh tried to convince you it’s the right thing to do? You have sided with him before.”
“I sided with him because I wanted to protect you. I won’t do it again.” He held up his hand in the Boy Scout salute. “Scout’s honor.”
It was a chancy proposition at best. I wasn’t entirely certain Brian would be able to wake me up if Lugh took control. Come to think of it, I wasn’t sure he’d be able to tell whether Lugh was in control or not. Demons are damn good at mimicking their hosts when they want to. But I couldn’t stay awake forever, and this sure seemed like my best chance to get some sleep while still avoiding being Lugh’s instrument.
“You know that Lugh can overpower you,” I said, wondering just how determined Lugh would be to make this phone call. Might he hurt Brian?
Not unless he wanted me as a permanent enemy. He had to know that.
Brian shrugged. “Yeah, I know. But if he has to overpower me, then the struggle should give you time to wake up.”
“True,” I agreed, stifling yet another yawn. I made one last attempt to look the gift horse in the mouth. “You have to go to work in the morning, don’t you?”
“I’ll be all right,” he assured me. “I’ll just pretend I’m a college kid pulling an all-nighter.”
I laughed weakly. Obviously, I had no defenses strong enough to defeat Brian. God, I loved him. Why didn’t that make everything easy between us?
“Thank you,” I said, though the words were inadequate to express what I felt.
Figuring I’d turn into a gibbering idiot if I stayed awake any longer, I gave Brian a quick, appreciative kiss, then led him to my bedroom.
CHAPTER 13
You know that feeling you get when you’re too tired to sleep? Well add the jitters of a couple gallons of coffee on top of that, and you’ll know exactly how I felt as I lay there in my bed trying to force myself to knock off.
Brian sat on the easy chair in the corner, reading by the light of a bulb so dim that it would give him eyestrain. I had my back turned to him—and to the light—but though I tried to pretend he wasn’t there, my every nerve seemed aware of him. I wanted him beside me in the bed, not across the room from me. I wanted his warmth and strength pressed up against me, his arms wrapped around me. I was too tired to want sex, but oh how I longed for that simple companionship.
If Brian was feeling any of the same feelings, he wasn’t showing it. I could tell by the steady turning of the pages that he actually was reading that book, not just staring at it blankly. I sucked in a deep, quiet breath and let it out slowly, trying to let my body relax.
Easier said than done. Even if I felt sure that Brian wouldn’t side with Lugh, even if I felt sure he’d recognize Lugh if he took over, I still figured I was in for some unpleasantness when I finally gave in to sleep. Lugh would no doubt tell me his opinion of my stubbornness, and he would try to lay a guilt trip on me. I was confident in my ability to resist his persuasion, but I wasn’t looking forward to the battle.
The bed dipped beside me, and I jumped. I hadn’t been even close to sleep, but I had been spaced out enough that I hadn’t heard Brian get up. His hand landed on my shoulder and gave a firm squeeze.
“Having trouble sleeping?” he asked.
Damn. I thought I’d been faking sleep better than that. I rolled onto my back and squinted up at him. He was silhouetted by the single light in the room, and I couldn’t see the expression on his face.
“I’ve had a lot of caffeine today,” I murmured in response. “The exhaustion will take over eventually.”
“Hmm,” he said, but it didn’t sound like an agreement. Without another word, he stood up and crossed the room, turning off the light and leaving the room cloaked in darkness.
I propped myself up on my elbows. “How are you going to stay awake in the dark all night?” I think there was a tinge of hysteria in my voice, but Brian just chuckled.
“I’ll turn it back on once you’re sound asleep,” he said.
Once again, the bed dipped under his weight. I was going to say something else pithy—though I don’t know what—but my words died in my throat when Brian pulled the covers slowly down my body.
When I’m by myself, I generally wear super-comfy PJs to bed, but when Brian’s around it’s either a slinky nightgown or nothing. Tonight, I’d gone with nothing. I’d been sure Brian wouldn’t make sexual overtures when I was so desperately in need of sleep. Shows how much I know.
“Brian. .”
He chuckled again. “I know. Not tonight, you have a headache.”
I couldn’t help a little bark of laughter in response. “Something like that.”
His fingers came to rest at the b
ase of my throat, then traced softly, slowly down my middle. I tried to protest, but my body had a will of its own, arching into the caress even though he didn’t touch any of my erogenous zones.
With a resigned sigh, I reached for him, but he gently nudged my hands away.
“No, no,” he said. “Tonight, I’m taking care of you. You don’t have to do a thing.”
I snorted. “You’ve got to be kidding me.”
Those maddening fingers of his brushed over my nipple, and my breath hitched. “Nope,” he said, sounding cheerful. “I’m just going to give you a little stress relief to help you sleep.”
I squirmed under his touch. Although my body couldn’t help reacting to him, I really, truly wasn’t in the mood. Let me tell you, I have to be very off my game not to be in the mood when Brian is around. But before I could muster another protest, he had leaned over me and planted his lips on mine.
I resisted the pleasure of his kiss for, oh, ten seconds or so. But the brush of his tongue was so incendiary that it felt like every nerve in my body spontaneously combusted. To hell with being too tired for sex! I wrapped my arms around his neck and clung, a greedy, whimpering sound rising from my throat.
Once again, Brian pushed my hands out of the way, this time circling my wrists with his fingers and pinning them to the bed beside my head. He raised his head just enough to give him room to speak, even as I strained toward him. My eyes had adjusted to the dark, and I could see the mingled heat and determination in his eyes.
“I mean it, Morgan,” he said, then punctuated the statement with a delicate lick across the seam of my lips. “Tonight, it’s going to be all about you. So keep your hands to yourself and let me take care of you.”
My heart beat irregularly in my chest. I am not a passive lover, and the idea of lying here like some frigid Victorian lady while Brian had his way with me did not sit well. What the hell had gotten into him?
