by Jenna Black
And then my entire body eased, the pain disappearing as if it had never existed. I took a moment to sigh in relief before I let the panic set in.
Driving my body, Lugh pushed me up into a sitting position. I felt the touch of my own hand as he made me wipe away the traces of tears. He was blocking the pain so thoroughly that in any other circumstance, I’d probably have been grateful to him. Well, maybe not.
My body was no longer my own, but if a mind could shudder, then that’s what mine did. The last time Lugh had taken control, he’d shut my conscious mind out completely, trapping me in a dark, claustrophobic, terrifying oubliette. I had panicked then like I’ve never panicked before in my life, and had I actually been there in body, I would have done myself considerable physical harm in my frantic attempts to escape. If he did that to me again. .
“I won’t,” he said, using my own mouth to speak to me. I really hate it when he does that. “Those were extenuating circumstances,” he explained as he rose to his feet. “I would not do that to you on a whim.”
I couldn’t speak, couldn’t control a single muscle in my body, but I imagined any number of colorful suggestions for what he could do with himself, and since he knew all my thoughts, I knew he could “hear” them.
He sighed. “We’ve been through this before,” he said patiently. “I have a responsibility to my people—and to yours—that has to take precedence over your desires. I’m not in any way trying to hurt you.”
He picked up my laundry basket and carried it out into the darkened hallway, where he summoned an elevator. If I couldn’t wrest back control before he made it to my apartment and my phone, he was going to make the damning call to Adam, and there would be nothing I could do to stop him.
Fool that I was, I’d forgotten about the cell phone in my purse. Lugh hadn’t. While he waited for the elevator, he fished the phone out. I struggled against his control, but he had a firm hold. It would take time to wrest control back, time I knew I didn’t have.
It showed something about the mess my life had become that I had Adam on speed-dial.
Something hard and cold solidified in my center—metaphysically speaking, I suppose, since without a body, I didn’t really have a center. This was not a battle I was willing to lose, not a battle I could afford to lose, not if I wanted any say at all in the rest of my life. I focused all my thoughts into getting one clear, cold message across to Lugh. Do this, and from now on, we will be enemies.
He gasped, and from that I knew he’d heard my message. Adam’s phone began to ring just as the elevator doors opened. Lugh stepped inside.
“You can’t mean that!” he objected.
You know I do. And, because there was no corner of my mind he couldn’t see into, he did. I’ll find a way to get back in control eventually, even if you decide to toss me in that oubliette again. Do you want to be at war with me as well as with Dougal?
He shook his head. “Why?” he asked. “Why do this over a request you don’t even know if Adam and Dominic will honor?”
Why ask questions when you already know the answers? But in case you need me to verbalize it—it’s because I have to take a stand somewhere, sometime. This is where I’m drawing the line in the sand.
“Hello?” Adam said, and Lugh didn’t immediately respond.
“Perhaps I should have put you directly in the oubliette after all,” Lugh muttered very softly.
“What?” Adam said. “Morgan? Are you all right?”
Lugh made a soft growling sound that my throat shouldn’t have been able to make. “Actually, it’s not Morgan, it’s Lugh.”
Even without a body, I felt as if I were holding my breath, nervously waiting to see which path Lugh would choose. I didn’t want to be at war with him, but that decision now rested firmly in his hands.
“Morgan was just attacked in the basement of her apartment building,” Lugh said, and I mentally breathed a sigh of relief. “She wasn’t hurt too badly, and I don’t dare heal her injuries since her attackers got away. However, she should make a police report, and you should be the one to take her statement.”
“Of course. I’ll be right over.”
“And, Adam?”
“Yes?”
“Morgan has a request from me that I’ve tasked her with making. I’ll allow her to phrase it however she wants, but don’t leave her apartment until she conveys the request. Understood?”
“Er. . yeah, I guess.”
“Very well. We shall see you soon.”
Lugh hung up just as the elevator doors opened on my floor. He stepped out into the hallway. “I hope you will consider that a fair compromise,” he muttered.
I wasn’t sure what I thought about this “compromise” yet, so I didn’t answer.
Lugh let himself into my apartment, dropped the laundry basket by the door, and drove my body to the couch. He sat down, and then suddenly my entire body ached and throbbed, and nausea roiled in my stomach.
With a groan, I lay down on the couch and clutched a throw pillow over my face, blocking out the light in hopes that it would ease the pounding in my head.
CHAPTER 16
Eventually, I hauled myself off the sofa and headed for the kitchen to make up an ice pack for my aching head. My left eye was on its way to swelling shut, and any motion of my jaw sent fingers of pain stabbing throughout the side of my face. Holding a baggie full of ice to my eye, I made my way to the bathroom and downed three ibuprofen. I didn’t think it would help a whole lot, but it couldn’t hurt.
I’d taken a lot of physical abuse since I’d begun hosting Lugh, but most of the time he’d been able to heal the damage so that the suffering didn’t last terribly long. But this beating he hadn’t healed, and I understood why. No one was supposed to know I was possessed, so I couldn’t miraculously turn up uninjured after I’d taken a thumping like that. I cussed him out for it anyway. Hey, pain makes me grumpy.
I’d gone back to lying on the couch, moving the ice pack back and forth between my eye and my cheek, when the front desk called to let me know Adam had arrived. The walk from the couch to the door seemed to take forever, and my face throbbed to the beat of my heart. I detoured to the kitchen to dump the ice, which was mostly melted by now anyway, before opening the door to let Adam in.
“Wow,” he commented as soon as he saw me. “You look like shit.”
I scowled and tried not to slam the door behind him. “Thanks. Your compassion knows no bounds.”
He laughed, and I seriously considered decking him just to vent a little of my frustration and fury. But no, I was bruised and battered enough already. The last thing I needed was to start a fistfight with Adam.
“Tell me what happened,” he said as we sat on opposite ends of the couch.
I did. I wasn’t able to give much of a description of my attackers. Short, squat, powerfully built, with blah-brown hair and no identifying marks. At least, none that I’d been able to see while I was being pummeled. It wasn’t a whole lot to go on.
“I’ll check with building security,” Adam promised. “See if I can figure out how they got in. One assumes they aren’t residents.” I gave him a sour look, but didn’t comment. “Do you have a theory on who they were?” he asked.
I shrugged. “I assume they’re in league with Brewster.”
Adam looked thoughtful. “Maybe. But let’s keep an open mind. Who else has reason to want you to leave Brewster alone?”
My stomach did a backflip as an unpleasant possibility came to mind. “I had dinner with Claudia Brewster tonight. She was suddenly very anxious for me to butt out. She wouldn’t confirm or deny it, but I’m sure someone must have threatened her.”
Adam didn’t look any happier with that idea than I was. “I’m not sure she has the connections to hire a rent-a-thug on such short notice, but she certainly has the money. Anyone else been bugging you about the case?”
“Well, there’s you.”
He grinned. “Love, if I wanted you roughed up, I’d do it
myself.”
I was too miserable to work up a good retort, so I settled for a dirty look. “There’s also Raphael,” I said. “Maybe he wasn’t as forthcoming with me as he claimed. Maybe there’s more to the Houston project than he was willing to admit, and he wants me to stay out of it.” I bit my lip, remembering my last conversation with him. “He did tell me to back off. He claimed it was because it was a hopeless cause, but maybe he had other motives.”
Adam looked grim. “I suppose that is a possibility. Damn, that guy is a pain in the ass.”
I had other, less charitable ways to describe him, but I’d voiced my opinion on the subject plenty of times already. “Is there any point in questioning him?”
“Doubtful. I don’t think he’s going to come clean if he’s the guilty party, and if he’s not, he could be offended.”
I snorted. “Like I care about offending him!”
“Your brother might care.”
I winced at the reminder. I might not be able to convince myself whose side Raphael was on, but one thing I did know—he wouldn’t hesitate to hurt Andy to punish me if I pissed him off too much.
Adam folded up the little notebook he’d been jotting notes in and tucked it into an inner pocket in his jacket. It would have been nice if he’d forgotten all about Lugh’s little “suggestion,” but of course, he hadn’t. “So,” he said, his voice conspicuously neutral, “what’s the request Lugh wants you to make?”
I swallowed a groan, hopefully before any sound left my throat. I did not want to do this. And I wasn’t sure if this could technically be considered a compromise, seeing as Lugh and I hadn’t agreed on the terms before he’d taken matters into his own hands. Unfortunately, my options were limited in the extreme. Despite the threat I’d made earlier, I really, really didn’t want to be at war with the demon who possessed me. My life was tough enough now.
I nearly jumped out of my seat when Adam’s hand came to rest on my shoulder. I’d been staring at my hands, which were clenched in my lap, but now I looked up to meet his eyes. And I saw something in his expression that I’d never seen before, at least not directed at me—concern.
“What is it, Morgan?” he asked, and damn if I didn’t feel the prickle of tears in my eyes.
I swallowed hard, taking in a deep breath and banishing that hint of tears. “Have you told Dom about your extracurricular activities yet?” I asked.
Adam’s hand slid off my shoulder, and his posture stiffened. “What does that have to do with anything?” “Did you?”
The concerned expression disappeared as if it had never existed. Perhaps it hadn’t. Perhaps I’d just wanted him to look concerned. Now he was wearing his hard, cold face, the one that probably scared the shit out of any criminals who found themselves in his custody.
“No.” His voice was curt and clipped, and I had the feeling a full-fledged explosion of anger was on its way.
“Good.”
That took him by surprise. His eyes widened, and his mouth dropped open. “What did you say?”
I knew he’d heard me, so I didn’t bother to repeat it. At least Dominic wouldn’t already be in a vulnerable state of mind when Adam asked him to host Saul again. I swallowed the lump in my throat and mentally reminded Lugh what I thought of him at the moment before I continued.
“Lugh’s decided to set up his court here on the Mortal Plain,” I said.
Adam nodded cautiously. “That seems like a reasonable thing to do.”
“You’ll be part of his inner circle, of course, and he’s counting on Raphael to be there, too, though he and I disagree on that.” I stalled out.
“Okay. Now tell me about whatever bombshell you’re going to drop.”
I clenched my hands in my lap so tight I heard my knuckles crack. But there was no turning back now. “He wants Saul to be in that inner circle, too.”
Silence descended like a heavy winter fog, dense and thick. Adam’s face closed off entirely, not a hint of expression showing through his impassive mask. But I knew thoughts and worries were pinging back and forth behind that mask. At least, I hoped they were. They sure were having a field day in my head, and my own mask was far from secure. A tear trickled down my cheek.
Damn. I thought I’d managed to suppress them entirely. I wiped the single tear away and willed myself to stay calm as I waited for Adam’s inevitable answer.
This shouldn’t matter to me so much, I told myself. Yeah, I liked Dom and considered him a friend, but it wasn’t like we were super close. He wasn’t someone I’d turn to in times of trouble. But then, who was? I noticed I was grinding my teeth and forced myself to stop.
“The suspense is killing me,” I said, trying to sound dry and sarcastic. It didn’t work. I noticed Adam’s hands had clenched, the knuckles turning white. His mask wasn’t perfect after all. But he didn’t say anything.
Minutes ticked by—at least it felt like it—and the tension grew worse and worse. I suppose I must not have been as sure of Adam’s answer as I’d thought, or else why would I have been such a wreck?
When I finally couldn’t stand it anymore, I stood up and headed for the kitchen. A cup of coffee wouldn’t cure all that ailed me, but at least it would be hot and soothing and delicious. Adam remained unmoving on the couch while I went through the ritual of making a pot of coffee. Not until I’d poured a mug and started to doctor it did he leave the couch and come to join me in the kitchen.
“May I have a cup?” he asked. Whatever he was thinking or feeling, he was still keeping it off his face.
“I wish I knew how to do that,” I said, and I finally saw a hint of expression: bafflement.
“Huh? Do what?”
“Keep my face from showing how I feel. I’ve never seen anyone as good at it as you. I mean, Brian does good lawyer face, but he can’t do it under extreme duress—”
“May I have a cup of coffee, or not?”
Okay, so I’d been babbling. It wasn’t the first time. “Depends on whether you’re going to give Dominic up to Saul or not.”
He blinked. “It matters to you that much?”
I was seriously tempted to throw my scalding hot coffee in his face. I managed to refrain, but it wasn’t easy. “He’s my friend,” I said. “I don’t want to lose him to some demon I don’t know. Hell, I don’t want to lose him at all! He’s a truly good, decent human being, and he doesn’t deserve to be tossed aside!”
“I don’t want to lose him, either,” Adam said, his voice quiet, his eyes haunted.
“But you’ll give him up to your good buddy Saul anyway,” I said bitterly. I almost said something scathing about how he’d be able to practice his more sickening habits in the privacy of his own home once more, but for once I managed to think about my words before blurting them out. I might never understand how demons think, I might never be able to forgive Adam for giving up Dom, but only an idiot wouldn’t see how much the idea hurt him, and there was no point in making it worse.
Adam shook his head, and for the first time since I’d conveyed Lugh’s request, he met my eyes. “Not without a fight, I won’t.”
My jaw fell open, and I put the cup of coffee down before I dropped it. “You mean to tell me you’re not going to do what Lugh wants?”
He leaned against one wall of the kitchen, folding his arms over his chest in what might have been a defensive gesture. “I told you before. I like Saul. I love Dom.”
“Yeah, but you also told me once before that if you were put in a position where killing Dom would be the ‘right’ thing to do, you’d do it and not feel guilty.” And in telling me that, he’d made me see just how foreign demons could be, even though their psyches so resemble those of humans.
“Turns out that’s easier said than done.”
My opinion of him improved exponentially. I even poured him a cup of coffee, which he accepted gratefully. I guess he needed warmth and comfort, too.
“Just so we’re clear,” I said, picking up my own coffee once more, “you’re not
going to tell Dom about Lugh’s request?”
Adam’s mouth tightened into a grim line. “I’ll tell him.” He held up his hand to stop the sharp retort that I’d been about to make. “He’s a grown man. It’s not my right to make this decision for him. If he wants to take Saul back, then I won’t stand in his way.” He closed his eyes and took a deep breath.
I was still indignant over what seemed to be a change of mind on Adam’s part, and I was moments away from telling him exactly what I thought of him, when once again I managed to restrain a knee-jerk reaction. This was twice in one day, and I was beginning to think I might be gaining some maturity. What a concept!
Adam wasn’t hiding his expressions now, and I found I could read him easily. He’d give Dom the chance to take Saul back, because if he didn’t, he’d never know whether Dom would have chosen Saul over him. Was there, perhaps, a hint of insecurity under that usually arrogant facade?
“As long as you make it clear that it’s Dominic you want, not Saul, he’ll make the right decision,” I said, and I really believed it. Yeah, Dom was the hero type, but there was no question in my mind that he’d choose love over heroism, as long as Adam didn’t make it sound like he’d rather have Saul.
“Ah,” Adam said, “that’s why you asked whether I’d told him about my visits to Hell.”
I nodded. Better for Dom not to know about that, not to doubt that Adam was completely satisfied with him.
Adam scrubbed a hand through his hair and put his coffee down, having not taken a single swallow. “I’m going to go downstairs and question the security people.” One corner of his mouth lifted in his trademark sardonic grin. The expression was a bit off, but it was a valiant effort. “That’ll give me some time to pull myself together before I talk to Dom.”
