by Janae Keyes
“That’s great news, thanks,” I gave him an excited grin. The moment I smiled, I saw the joy that flushed through him.
“I love to see you smile.” I turned away at his words. “I’m sorry, you know I am. I’m trying Taylor.”
He didn’t get it. “Nate,” I began. I didn’t want to say the next words that would come out of my mouth, but Nate needed to hear them, and I needed to force myself to say them. “You don’t get it. I don’t want you to try. Please, this is already hard enough on me, and you are making it worse. Stop trying. We’re done.”
“You can’t mean that,” Nate insisted.
“I mean it,” I growled as I stood from my seat.
“Taylor, my darling, I love you, and I want to be with you.”
“God, Nate, why don’t you get it? I don’t fucking want to be with you!” I hated to say those words because it was a lie. I was lying to his face, With every breath, every bone in my body, and hair on my head I wanted to be with Nate, the man I loved. I had to lie to him. I had to guard my heart against the impending heartbreak that would eventually take me if I was to give into him.
The door to the kitchen swung open, and Sara stood in the doorway with two wine glasses and the bottle of wine that Nate had requested. Sara looked directly at me. I knew she could tell something wasn’t right.
“Sara, I’m going to take my lunch in my room,” I sniffed in an attempt to hold my tears inside.
“I will bring it up,” Sara noted.
“Thanks,” I whispered as I felt a tear escape. I wiped it away as fast as I could before turning to the door, I refused to give Nate a look as I left the dining room behind.
LOCKED AWAY IN my room was how I’d spent the rest of the day. I was angry and sad at the same time. I spent much of my time crying, and as I stood in my bathroom mirror, I noted my bloodshot eyes.
It was my first day at my new job and instead of waking up fresh faced and ready to face my new challenge, I looked a mess and the only thing I wanted to do was lay in bed and feel sorry for myself.
Closing my eyes, I heard my mom’s voice in my head, Sorry doesn't pay bills, and sorry doesn’t succeed. Her saying was absolutely correct.
I took a breath and made a decision, I had to put my big girl panties on and fight through the pain, I had a job to get to.
I dug through my toiletries and pulled out a bottle of eye drops.
Flushing my eyes with the cold drops, I stripped from my pajamas and took myself a hot shower to wash the hurt away, at least metaphorically.
Once dressed, I checked myself out again, now wearing a black pencil skirt and white peplum top, my curls draping my shoulders. I shook my head at the realization that I looked exactly like my mother. Something was missing.
Knowing what I needed, I reached into my makeup bag and pulled out my favorite lipstick and applied it carefully.
I took another glance at myself, and my mind flooded with memories. The memory of my first night with Nate struck me. I'd worn this lipstick and got it on his shirt when we'd fallen together on the floor, our first kiss.
I rushed downstairs in an attempt to run away from my emotions. Upon entering the dining room, I noticed the table was only set for one today. I figured Nate was back to his old routine of ignoring me and eating in his room.
Sara walked into the dining room from the kitchen and gave me a smile. “Good morning.”
“Morning,” I answered as I took my seat. “Is Nate eating in his room?”
“He left, last night,” she informed me.
“Left?” I questioned as I took a croissant from the basket sitting in front of my place setting.
“Yeah, back to Branagan Manor,” she said.
“Oh,” I answered as I tried not to allow the disappointment to drown me. My message apparently had sunk into him. I swallowed back my impending tears. We were over, and there was no going back.
“You start your job today, that’s exciting,” Sara mentioned as she expertly changed the subject. She knew what had happened between Nate and I from both Anne and Langston. I was happy not to be berated with questions about it.
“Yeah, I can’t wait. It’s really a dream come true,” I mentioned feeling some of my joy sneaking into my body.
“Lord Branagan does well by those he cares about,” she affirmed.
I only nodded in response as I took a chunk of croissant and spread jam over it. Popping the flaky goodness into my mouth, I wondered what this Greg was going to be like. I’d had plenty bosses in my past, some great and others not so much.
“Morning!” came the excited voice of Chris as the door to the dining room flew open. Chris gave me a wave as he came right in and took a seat at the table, placing his feet on the corner.
“Christopher, get your feet off the table!” roared Sara as she rushed to him and shoved his feet down off the edge.
She continued to fuss at him in her native language. I giggled as Sara walked off into the kitchen while Chris rolled his eyes. He and Sara were much like me and my mom. Our moms obviously loved us, but also got on our nerves.
“I’ll be ready to leave in a few moments,” I informed Chris before I stuffed another piece of croissant into my mouth. I missed the freshly baked goods I got here and the full breakfast Anna would cook at the manor.
Minutes later I was coming back downstairs with my bag over my shoulder. I was heading out for my first day. Arriving in the entrance hall, I came across something that hadn’t been there before. A vase sat on a table near the stairs, filled with bright pink hydrangeas, their color reminded me of my lipstick. I timidly approached the gorgeous bouquet.
“Those just arrived for you,” came Sara’s voice as she and Chris entered the entrance hall.
“For me?” I questioned as I stepped to them and picked up the small envelope that sat with them, I opened it and pulled out the card.
I hope your first day is as wonderful as you deserve. I know you will do a fantastic job and they will wonder where you’ve been all this time.
Best Wishes,
Nate
I found myself reading the card over and over again. I understood the significance of the flowers. He was keeping a line open between us in hopes, in hopes of me changing my mind. I yearned to have him with me, telling me these words himself and giving me a kiss before I was off.
Quickly, I stuffed the card into the envelope and placed it inside of my purse. I gave the flowers a final fleeting look before I turned in the direction of Chris and Sara.
“I’m ready,” I informed both of them.
“Okay, I will see you when you return. Good Luck,” Sara chirped as she came to me and gave me a quick hug. I felt like a little girl being sent off on her first day of school.
Following Chris out the door, we arrived at the charcoal gray Mercedes. Chis quickly opened the door for me and allowed me into the backseat before he took his spot in the driver’s seat.
I bit down on my lip out of pure nerves. I didn’t exactly know what to expect with this job. For the first time since receiving the offer, I really thought about what would be ahead of me. My situation with Nate had clouded everything, and now that some of the haze was clearing, I realized that I was going to be the new employee at a prestigious art museum.
I loved riding through London, taking in the sights. Riding across Westminster Bridge, I watched the tourists as they snapped photos of the Houses of Parliament and the London Eye. Working my mind around the fact that I was calling this city home was nearly impossible, dreams that seemed so distant were a reality.
I slipped the card that came with the flowers from my purse. I ran my fingers over the scribbled handwriting that belonged to Nate. It was hard to figure out how my heart continued to cling to the man who broke my heart.
“We’re here,” Chris announced.
My head shot up, and I stuffed the card back into my purse. Looking out of the window, I saw we were now parked in front of a large rectangular building. The brick building s
tood firm and the large tower in the middle captivated and held my attention. This was it, I wasn’t going to turn back now, my dreams awaited.
“You call me when you’re ready,” Chris informed me as he opened my door. I stepped out into the slight breeze. I gave Chris a pat on the shoulder before I made my way to the entrance of the museum.
Walking inside, I was greeted with a large entrance hall. It was minimal in design and one thing that struck me was that the inside of the building was dramatically different from the outside. The outside was brick, old, and looked like a factory. The inside, however, was the interior of a much more modern construction, and the black beams supported the gray painted walls.
I began to make my way toward an information desk. I tried to keep my legs from shaking under me as I walked. I worked to keep every bit of my confidence as I moved. With each step I repeated to myself in my head, You’re amazing, you’re confident, you’re talented.
For me, as much as I knew those things, a reminder was frequently needed. With each time I repeated my mantra, I found my nerves slowly receding.
Approaching the desk, a middle-aged woman with bright red cat-eye glasses peered up at me. I cleared my throat quickly.
“Hello, I have a meeting with Greg Talbins, the curator, and I’m not quite sure where to go,” I said, trying my best to keep my voice from shaking.
“Oh, let me call Mr. Talbins’ assistant, just one moment,” she replied kindly. I gave her a thankful smile as she picked up her phone and dialed. “Good Morning Lauren, I have someone here who has a meeting with Mr. Talbins,” she spoke into the receiver. I could slightly hear a voice from the other end. The woman peered up at me. “Is your name Taylor Walker?”
“Yes, that’s me,” I answered quickly.
“It’s her... Okay, I will let her know,” she noted into the receiver before she hung up the phone. She glanced back up in my direction. “Lauren will come down to get you.”
“Thank you very much,” I thanked the woman for her assistance.
“No problem,” she answered kindly.
While waiting, I took the time to take in my surroundings. I knew the museum was large, but it was much bigger than I’d imagined. I was eager to actually see exhibits and get to know more about the museum and the building itself.
“Taylor Walker?” questioned a small voice. I shook myself from my thoughts and looked to see a short redhead. She gave me a grin as I stepped in her direction. Her fame was small, and her red hair partnered with bright green eyes. “I’m Lauren, Mr. Talbins’ assistant. You can follow me, and I will take you to Mr. Talbins’ office.”
I followed Lauren through a door that took me into a private area of the museum, not for the public’s eyes. We passed storage rooms where I spotted pieces of stored art. We reached a long white hallway, and we stopped at one of the few doors along the hall. Lauren knocked twice before a deep voice yelled out.
“Yes!” Lauren opened the door and stepped inside, I timidly followed.
“Mr. Talbins, I have Taylor Walker here,” Lauren announced. I looked to see a man sitting at a glass desk. He quickly stood, and I met his eyes for the first time, they were a chilly shade of ice blue that immediately captivated me.
The man that stood in front of me had to be just over six feet tall. His hair was short and blonde, and he sported just a touch of facial hair. A smile spread across his face, and I was nearly knocked off my feet by the swoon that hit me at his incredibly sexy smile.
As he moved around his desk and in my direction, my heart began to pound. I felt as if it would burst out of my chest.
“Ms. Walker, it is such a delight to meet you. I’ve heard astonishing things about you from Lord Branagan,” he said as he greeted me. Quickly, his warm hand took mine into his. I tried my hardest to keep myself from trembling.
“Wow, thanks and you can call me Taylor. I don’t mind, really,” I insisted. The sleeves of his dusty blue button up were rolled up to his elbows, and I tried—and failed— to not gawk at his massive forearms.
His hand lingered in mine for a few moments, his thumb caressing the back of my hand before he allowed it free.
“And it is perfectly acceptable to call me Greg,” he noted with a grin. “Now, I sadly don’t have time right now to go over everything with you, but Lauren will get you started. When I return from my meeting, I will go in depth with you about your position here.”
“Sounds good,” I said cheerfully.
“Perfect. Lauren, you know what to do, and I will see both of you soon,” Greg said before he quickly started to the door. He hesitated for a second at the threshold as he turned back in my direction, his eyes meeting mine for a split second. Then he turned back just as quickly and rushed out of his office, leaving Lauren and I alone. I caught myself nervously biting my lip. I felt guilty. I was attracted to him, but he wasn’t Nate. Though I wasn’t with Nate, I felt like I was betraying him. I shook the feeling away.
I turned to Lauren who stood with a folder in her arms. She handed it in my direction, and I took it from her, noting how heavy it felt. Upon closer inspection, I discovered that it was filled with more documentation than I could read in a night. I had a lot of studying to do.
“This is all information for you. You will have plenty of time to go over it. As you know, I’m his assistant, but now I’m also your assistant. Your office is right next door and once you settle in, I can show you the classroom where you will be doing your classes for selected field trip groups. There is so much that Mr. Talbins can get into with you, but first, your office,” she explained to me as she began to make her way out of the room.
I scurried behind Lauren, and we walked up the hall one door. She opened the door, and I stepped into a decent sized office. There was a glass desk very similar to Greg’s, and behind my desk, a large window overlooked the Thames River. I blinked a few times and considered pinching myself to confirm the reality of it all.
As much as it pained me to think about it, Nate gave me this reality. Despite our broken love, he still cared about me and worked to show it. I wanted his presence not just to thank him, but love him. If only.
SEVEN
Nate
LETTING HER GO had not been in the plans. Though letting her go was the only option. She’d show her disdain for me and informed me that it was all over. Hearing her words broke my soul into a million tiny and unrepairable pieces. My heart belonged in her grasp and yet she shoved it back at me.
There was one thing, though. I didn’t feel that her words were as true as she made them seem to be. Reluctance tainted her words. She was attempting to shield her heart from more impending pain, pain that would only be caused by me.
I knew leaving her alone was the best option for her heart, yet, my heart suffered without her. I reached out in the safest way possible. I sent her a bouquet of her favorite flowers with a note I’d scribbled and left with Sara to give her.
Her first day at the museum came and went. I wished I’d been there with her, having breakfast together, chatting away, hearing her excitement. I wanted to be there when she got home in the evening, telling me about the adventures of her day.
Rubbing my temples, I tried to force away the monster of a headache I’d been suffering with since I left. This was the physical pain associated with a broken heart.
My eyes crossed as I attempted to look over expense reports. I’d been sitting there for over an hour staring at the same sheet of paper. Focusing was getting nearly impossible as my head pounded away.
A knock had come at the door of my room before it opened. I glanced up to spot Anne in my doorway with my afternoon tea. She gave no words as she strode over to my desk and placed the tray down.
“Thank you, Anne,” I murmured to the woman who was more of a mother to me than my own. She still wasn’t speaking to me. I deserved it, though. I’d broken the heart of a delicate angel. I deserved to suffer.
“The ibuprofen you asked for is there,” she mentioned before turn
ing on her heels.
“Anne, please,” I pleaded with the woman who turned back in my direction. “I fucked up. I fucked up big time, and Taylor hates me, you hate me. I don’t want this nightmare.”
“I don’t hate you, and I’m sure Taylor doesn’t either. You know you did wrong by her. She didn’t deserve to find out the way she did. She poured her everything into you and now, both of you are broken.” I listened to Anne’s words. I knew all of it was true.
“I need her back, Anne,” I said, my voice beginning to shake. I took a breath. I was never one to cry much before, but since losing Taylor, things in that regard had changed.
“Do right by her. If you want her back, you need to end your sham engagement. Taylor deserves to be your number one in the light and not in the shadows,” Anne proclaimed. I swallowed, I wanted that with everything. The only problem was I knew the wrath my parents would unleash on me for not following in my duties. I was bound to my duties as Lord and future Duke. I could never abdicate, there were no other heirs, the line would die.
“You know that’s impossible,” I mentioned as I quickly wiped a rogue tear from my cheek.
“Then forget having Taylor in your life,” she said with a shrug before turning her back to me and leaving me along with my own sorrow.
“Fuck!” I growled out of frustration before shoving my papers to the floor.
I took the teapot and filled my cup with the freshly brewed tea that Anne had brought me. I took the two pills from the tray and tossed them in my mouth before gulping them down with the steaming hot liquid. I needed to escape, get out of there, clear my head.
As quickly as I could, I changed my clothes. Putting on my t-shirt and shorts, I tied my shoes and strapped my iPod to my arm. I needed to run away from it all, literally.
Exiting the large manor I called home, I began to jog through the property, music blasting in my ears. It most likely wasn’t the best remedy for a headache, but I needed to get out to breathe and find solace in something for the moment.
