Impossible Love: An Unforeseen Destiny Novel Book One

by Kimberly Readnour

  “Mmm, I want nothing more than to be in between your legs.”

  He starts stroking faster, and I can’t wait any longer. With my free hand, I press a finger into my channel and then move to my clit, rubbing in circles.

  “God, you look so fucking sexy,” Kai says. “I’m so hard for you.”

  Hunger builds below, but I need more. My hand abandons my breast and slides between my thighs. Overcome with sheer desire, I plunge two fingers inside while my other hand continues fervently working my clit. I’m so frickin’ close.

  “Man, you’re so sexy. Jesus, I’m com—”

  Click. Whoosh.

  “Surpri‌—‌ Oh my God! Sorry, I’m‌…‌I’m gone.”

  Slam.

  The moment Staci’s voice rings out, I spring from the pillows and grab the blanket to cover myself. Wrong thing to do. The computer crashes to the floor, and lands bottom-side up. I scramble to pick up my baby, and then immediately open the lid. The non-cracked screen draws a thankful breath, but I still need to check if it powers up. Please let my computer be all right. The disconnected Skype call and surprised interruption are the least of my worries at the moment. The phone rings as soon as I hit the computer’s power button.

  “I’m mortified,” I say to Kai.

  He’s laughing. The asshole is actually laughing.

  “It’s not funny.” The Dell emblem appears, and I sag back onto the bed relieved. I glance at the door and wince at the small puddle of water left from Staci’s shoes. Ambivalent laughter bubbles from my chest, joining Kai’s. That’s all it takes for me to see the humor. “Okay, it’s a little funny. I’m still embarrassed, though.”

  “Oh, sweetheart, that was fun. You always manage to show me a good time.”

  “I wonder what Staci’s thinking? I can’t believe she came back early. She never does that.”

  “Don’t be embarrassed. People in long distance relationships have cybersex all the time. It’s nothing to be ashamed about.”

  “I’m not ashamed.” As the words left my mouth, the truth of my statement hits me like the second shot of tequila‌—‌a little dizzying. I’m surprised by how much I actually enjoyed it. Well, up until we got interrupted. I’m nothing but a raging ball of hormones these days.

  “Good, but I am sorry we got interrupted,” Kai says. “I would’ve enjoyed seeing you come apart.”

  “It’s not your fault. Next time, I’ll make sure she’ll be gone.”

  “Next time?”

  My cheeks flame again. I swear his smirk rings loudly through his tone. “Yeah, we’re definitely doing that again.”

  “I love you, Kayla.”

  The conviction in his voice warms my heart. “I love you, too. Ugh, as much as I hate to, I better call Staci and tell her it’s safe to come back inside.”

  After saying our goodbyes, I finish getting dressed and dial Staci’s number.

  “I am so, so sorry,” Staci says in lieu of a hello.

  “I’m extremely embarrassed, but it’s safe to come back.”

  “I’m the one who’s embarrassed. Jeez. I should’ve warned you that I was coming back early. I wanted to surprise you, though.”

  “You surprised me all right.” I laugh.

  “Seriously, though, it’s not like you haven’t caught The Beave and me.”

  I wince because I have walked in on her and her pink silicone friend. She named it The Beaver Buster and called him The Beave for short.

  “What are you doing back? You never come back early,” I ask, switching topics.

  Staci lives ten miles away. It’s nothing for her to arrive hours before class, but she specifically said she’d be back Sunday.

  “I wanted to be here for you. You know, talk for real.”

  The door swings open, and I smile at my friend, ending the call.

  “Look at you. You’ve changed,” Staci says, slamming the door behind her.

  “Stop, or I’ll have to smack you.”

  “Stand up. I want to see my friend who’s lost that innocent look.”

  I start to stand and then sit back down at her ridiculous request. “I don’t look different.”

  “I’m not so sure,” she sing-songs. “There’s definitely an after-sex-glow about ya.”

  “Shut-up. I was interrupted. Remember?”

  “Yeah. Believe me, I won’t be forgetting that for a while.” She laughs and plops on her bed. “Which reminds me. I’m pissed at you.”

  “Why?” I play along. The mischievous gleam in her eyes tells me she’s enjoying this way too much.

  “You’ve been holding out on me. Santa did bring you a nice thick dick. The package just arrived late.”

  Heat flares on my face. “You saw Kai?”

  “Ha! You’re not denying it. And girl, he is fine. The image of his spewing come from that monstrosity of a penis is filed away.” She double taps her finger to her left temporal and winks.

  “If you picture my boyfriend while you get it on with The Beave, I’ll…” I can’t even finish the sentence; I’m too astounded.

  “I’m teasing. About the filing away parts not the other, because he is fine.”

  “I know.” I burst out in giggles.

  “So how are you guys working it out?”

  “We’re considering ourselves dating. Boyfriend/girlfriend, I guess.”

  “Did you guys agree to be exclusive?” Genuine concern crosses her face, and I know she’s only looking out for my welfare.

  “Yes,” I answer confidently.

  “Did he bring it up or you?”

  “He did. He told me he loves me and doesn’t want to be with anyone else. He claims the thought of another man touching me would drive him crazy. So, we agreed to be exclusive. I can’t wait to physically see him, though.”

  “That’s so sweet and exciting,” Staci squeals. “When will that be?”

  “I’m not sure.” My mood turns somber. “It depends on Mom, but summer at the earliest.”

  I shut my eyes. Honestly, I don’t think Mom will last until summer. I’m not sure she’ll last until graduation. She took a turn for the worse after we returned.

  “That sucks.”

  “Yeah, it does.” We go into a lengthy discussion about Mom and talk nonstop for a couple of hours. Before going to bed, Staci gives me a hard stare.

  “We’re going out next Saturday night.”

  I open my mouth to protest, but she cuts me off.

  “No, we’re going. You deserve some fun after everything you’ve been through.”

  I contemplate her point. She’s right. I’m overdue for fun.

  “Okay,” I finally answer. “It may be a tequila shot kind of night.”

  “Ooh, now we’re talking.”

  I shake my head and hope I didn’t just sink myself. There’s no harm in allowing some fun with all this heaviness surrounding me. Right?

  Chapter Thirty-Nine

  Four weeks apart

  Kayla~

  Highlights from the week are Kai’s texts. Simple one-liners like, “I’m thinking about you,” make my day. Then he sends the “what are you wearing” ones that lead to interesting conversations. But my favorite? Yeah, it’s the plain ole, “I love you,” that’s always waiting for me for when I wake up. All of these don’t compare to hearing his actual voice when he calls before I go to bed. Of course, those are only on the days he gets through with work early.

  This seven-hour time difference is torturous.

  I look forward to his text, though, and receiving them throughout the week makes the separation bearable. Being apart still sucks, but I’m adjusting.

  It’s nine o’clock on Saturday, one week since my embarrassing debut into cybersex. And as promised, there’s a shot of tequila sitting in front of me along with salt, lime, and a fruity concoction. My problem, I’m already feeling the effects from the first shot, and it’s still early.

  “Okay”‌—‌Staci picks up the shot glass‌—‌“here’s to big dicks and men
who know how to use them.”

  I laugh as I lift my tequila. We lick the salt, toss back the shot, and then chase it with the lime.

  “Awe. Isn’t this better than sitting in the dorm?” Staci asks.

  “Yeah, but I’m going to miss my call from Kai.” I pout and pull my phone out to read his last text. The “have fun tonight but be careful” message makes me feel warm inside. Or maybe it’s from the alcohol.

  “Okay, hand it over.” Staci holds out her palm.

  “What?”

  “The phone. Hand it over.” Her impatient tone raises a decibel.

  “I don’t think so.”

  “Come on. You’re not going to be pining over Kai tonight. We’re supposed to have fun.”

  I gnaw on my lip as I contemplate what to do. “Okay, but you have to keep checking to see if Mom calls.”

  Staci’s smirk softens. “I promise, I will.”

  When I checked on Mom earlier, she assured me she was having a good night. She encouraged me to have fun even. I’m not sure if getting drunk is what she had in mind, but I’m definitely on my way.

  “Hey, stranger,” Brian says as he occupies the empty stool beside me.

  Staci’s body stiffens, and the scowl crossing her face doesn’t go undetected, but I ignore her sudden annoyance. Guilt plagues my conscience, taking precedence. This past week, I haven’t made time to be with Brian, and I’m just about to hear it.

  “I haven’t seen you all week.”

  “I know, I’m sorry.”

  “She doesn’t have much time,” Staci says. “Her boyfriend’s keeping her occupied.”

  I internally cringe and shoot Staci a glare as she picks up her drink. I haven’t mentioned anything about Kai to Brian. Not because I don’t want to, but if Brian’s harboring feelings for me like Staci thinks, then I don’t want to hurt his feelings.

  “‘Boyfriend?’ What do you mean ‘boyfriend’?” he asks, practically growling.

  Staci about chokes on her fruity drink, and I turn to face Brian. The mixture of hurt and surprise in his tone conflicts me. I don’t know whether to feel sorry for him or be pissed that he’s so surprised. I’m quite capable of having a boyfriend.

  “I met somebody,” I say.

  “She got it on with a hot Hawaiian guy,” Staci blurts out, fanning herself.

  “Okay, I think you’ve had enough to drink, Staci.”

  The pained expression on Brian’s face twists my gut as guilt nudges out the anger.

  “I meant to tell you about Kai, but we haven’t talked.”

  “He lives in Hawaii?”

  “Yeah, it’s a little complicated.”

  “How does that even work?”

  “We’re making it,” I say, not liking his tone.

  “That’s‌…‌that’s different.”

  Different? What does that mean?

  “Our little girl is grown up, Brian. You—”

  “And I think it’s time for you to use the restroom,” I interrupt Staci, hitting her leg.

  “Um, yeah, I have to pee.”

  We stand, and I nudge her toward the bathroom door. I’m not sure who to be mad at more.

  “Why do you like making Brian uncomfortable all the time?” I ask when we step into the girl’s room.

  “Why is he even here? We can’t go anywhere without him showing up.”

  “I don’t know. Maybe because he always ends up joining us?”

  “See, I told you he liked you.”

  I blow out a breath and eye the ceiling. I’m not sure when my mundane life became so complicated.

  “Yeah, you’re right. I don’t know how I didn’t see it,” I say, glancing back at Staci.

  “You didn’t want to see it.”

  “I guess. But still, go easy on him. I feel sorry for him.”

  “Oh, please, don’t feel sorry for him. Brian’s far from innocent.”

  I tilt my head and study her for a moment. “What did he ever do to you?”

  She waves her arms, brushing me off. “No worries, it’s nothing. Let’s go have a drink. Did you check out the guy at the end of the counter? He’s hot, hot, hot.”

  I laugh. “Fine. Whatever. You win. I’ll let it drop for now, but play nice.”

  We arrive back to our stool just as Jill and Melinda from our nursing program show up.

  “I’ve missed you,” Brian says when I settle into my seat.

  “I’ve missed you too.”

  “We really need to catch up. Meet me tomorrow at the coffee shop.”

  I hesitate. “I have a lot of studying to do. I have to double up in case something happens to Mom.”

  “We’ll just have one cup of coffee. You’ll probably need it after tonight.”

  “We both know the better choice is water.”

  He chuckles. “One drink. I’ll bring my books, and we both can study.”

  “Okay.”

  I sip my drink while the music changes over to a slow song.

  “Dance with me,” Brian leans over and whispers in my ear.

  “That wouldn’t be a good idea,” I say, shaking my head.

  “Why? Because of your boyfriend?”

  He pronounces boyfriend like it’s a dirty word, and my hackles rise.

  “Come on. Just one dance. For old times’ sake.”

  True, we usually dance, but that was before. Would I want Kai dancing with a girl? Fire inflames the pit of my stomach. Hell, no I wouldn’t. The idea alone enrages me into a ball of jealousy fury.

  “Brian, it’s not like before.”

  “What? We can’t be friends now? It’s one meager dance.”

  Is he really pulling the friendship card? I glance over at Staci, and she’s deep in a conversation with Jill. Melinda is working the room taking various pictures of everyone. I sigh.

  “One dance, that’s it.” Conceding, I stand and wobble. The drinks, I’m afraid, have worked their magic. I need to slow down, or I won’t be doing anything tomorrow but nursing my sore head.

  Brian leads me to the dance floor, but this feels all wrong. He’s my friend, sure, and up until seven weeks ago, I considered him to be close. Technically, there shouldn’t be any problem with us dancing together, but I still don’t like it.

  Brian grabs me in his arms, and we sway to the beat of the music. I wrap my arms around his neck, and his hands fall to my waist as he pulls me closer. Being next to him feels off, but I’m committed now. I lean my head against his shoulder and close my eyes wishing like hell Kai was in my arms instead. He tightens his hold, and for a brief moment, I believe it’s Kai. Then reality kicks in, and I stop and shake my head.

  “No, I can’t do this, Brian.” I don’t want to tell him it’s because I miss Kai so badly I could throw up. I mean it literally makes my stomach roll.

  He sighs, but lets go and follows me to my stool. Melinda returns to the bar the same time, appearing flushed.

  “I think I got what I want,” Melinda says as she plops beside Staci.

  Staci smiles at her but turns a worried look my way.

  I wave her off and give her a sign that I’ll be okay.

  The rest of the evening, I’m not really okay. The weight of missing Kai plagues me, and I’m not enjoying myself. The blaring music makes talking impossible without having to yell, and I want my phone. It’s midnight. I want to know if my “I love you” text has been sent yet.

  “I’m going to head back to the dorm,” I yell to Staci and hold my hand out for my phone.

  “Sure thing.” Staci digs in her purse and pulls it out. “I’ve been checking, and there’s nothing from your mom.”

  “Thanks.” I grab the phone and immediately look at the display. A Facebook notification that I’ve been tagged in a photo sparks my interest. I open the Facebook app and click on the picture. I choke, almost swallowing my tongue. There on the dance floor are two people dancing rather close. Brian and me.

  Shit.

  No, no, no. I hurry up and untag myself. There�
�s no way Kai would understand that photo if he saw it. I’d yell at Melinda, but really, it’s not her fault. I should’ve never danced with him.

  Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. As I chastise myself, I try to remember to breathe. Kai isn’t a huge Facebook person, so I doubt he even saw it. Besides, he hasn’t sent my text yet, so maybe he isn’t even on his phone. Yeah, Kai hasn’t seen it. There’s no way he’d let that slide.

  **~~**~~**

  Kai~

  I fucking don’t believe it. My right hand squeezes my bottle of Corona as I stare down at my girlfriend snuggling pretty close to golden-boy M.D. on the dance floor. His hands splayed across the span of her lower back sends raging heat rushing through my body.

  Fuck! I need to maintain a neutral expression.

  Glancing up to Bethany’s smirking face, I take a deep breath. “So. She can dance with her friends.”

  “Pft. Really?” Bethany says, snatching her phone away. “You honestly believe the crap you’re spewing? Because I don’t. She’s playing you, Kai.”

  Of course, I don’t believe what I’m saying. I’m pissed to no end. But there’s no way I’m letting Bethany know how I feel.

  “Go back to your table, Beth. Even if I was single, we’re still through.”

  Bethany’s eyes narrow as she glares at me. I really don’t want to hurt her, but her vendetta against Kayla and me is getting old. How many times do I have to tell her to back off, I’m not interested?

  “So, what? You’re staying celibate and being the good little boy while she gets to tramp around?”

  My hands curl into fists. How’d I ever think Bethany was a nice person? And how’d she even see the damn pic anyway? I’m sure she’s not friends with Kayla on Facebook.

  “It’s just a dance, Beth.”

  “Whatever, you’re just going to be making a bigger fool of yourself.”

  “That’s on me then.” I turn to face the bar. Conversation closed.

  Beth huffs, but I hear her shuffle away. Thank God.

  “Bro, what the hell was that about?” Kamp asks, plopping next to me. He motions to Laney for another drink.

  “She showed me a picture of Kayla dancing with someone.”

  “What? Why the hell was she dancing with someone?”