I sighed. "Yeah…I get it, but this is different."
"Okay, how about the fact you put away your Cadia doll because your cousin made you feel dumb for playing with dolls? You missed out on a lot of fun because of what someone else thought. So what if these girls say you copied their necklaces? You saw it first, you liked it, so go get it. I'll send you the money. Now go call Ashanti."
I sniffed and told him I'd call her. "Thanks, Dad."
"You're welcome. Now go tell your mother what an awesome parent I am. That was some quality dad-ing right there, was it not?"
"Funny, but I can't. If I tell her, she'll grill me over what went on at school. That woman is worse than the CIA, and she gets all overprotective. She'd probably call my teachers and tell them someone was being mean to me. She's so embarrassing."
"Kid, my mother was the same way — do NOT tell your mother I compared her to mine, okay?"
I hung up with my dad and noticed Thalia had texted back that it was okay.
"I get not wanting to cry in the hallway. Totally get that. If you need to talk, I'm here. I'm just glad you weren't mad at me or blowing me off or something. I figured something was up. Anyway, no biggie."
I texted back that I wouldn't be such a jerk again, and she sent back a smiley face. Then I took a deep breath and called Ashanti's cell. It went to voice mail. I hated voice mail.
"Um, hi. I just wanted to apologize. I totally didn't mean what I said to come out that way…I…I seriously planned to get you a butterfly necklace, too, and…I hate talking on voice mail. Anyway, you are my best friend. I would never take you for granted, and I — " Then the stupid voice mail lady's voice cut me off. Crap. Did I call back and hope she listened to both messages? And would they be in order, or would she just get confused? Why did life have to be so complicated?
I decided to call back, but then my phone rang. It was Ashanti.
"Hello?"
"What on earth were you trying to get at in that message?" she asked.
"How much did you hear?"
"I dunno…part of it."
"Well, I said you are my best friend, and I'd never take you for granted."
"I may have heard that part."
"Oh, okay. Well…I'm just sorry if it sounded like I was trying to get some best friend necklace thingie with those guys and leaving you out. I wouldn't do that."
"Uh-huh."
Just then I heard someone talking to her in the background. "Landry, I have to go. My mom needs to talk to me."
"Okay, see you in — "
But she had already hung up.
I called Dad back and told him what happened. "Any words of wisdom?"
"Well, she heard you. Give her time to process. I think you need to talk to Peyton, though. Clear the air."
"But…that's hard. And I might get shot down."
"Your mom shot me down twice before agreeing to go out with me."
"Seriously?"
"Well, sort of. She doesn't know this, but I found out she thought if she said she'd go out with me, she'd be like any other girl dying to go out with me, so she played hard to get."
"What?"
"Yup. She thought that would set her apart, but I knew she liked me and that she was doing that."
"You two are so lame."
"Yes, yes we are, and you're a product of that, so that makes you twice as lame."
"That explains a lot," I said.
"Anyway, I knew she'd turn me down, but it was worth it to me to go through that to get to know her, and if your friends are worth it to you, then you need to try to clear the air with Peyton."
"Okay. You're still sending me money for the necklaces, right?"
"Yes."
"All right. Then I'll call her."
"This is just like how I used to bribe you to go use the potty. Remember how we had the sticker charts, and you — "
"Gross! Da-ad! You were almost cool for a minute. Almost, but then you had to go ruin it."
"Story of my life," he said, laughing.
Chapter Eighteen
I took a few minutes to say a prayer, and then called Peyton. Figuring she wouldn't answer, I prepared what I was going to say to her voice mail.
"Hello?" she said.
"Oh. Um…I…ummm…"
"Landry? Is that you?"
"Yeah."
"What do you want?"
"I…didn't expect you to answer," I said.
"Did you have something to say or what?"
I took a deep breath. "I want to explain what happened with Devon. I wasn't throwing you under the bus or anything. The whole thing about India and Doug came up, and I didn't want to lie to her. I figured she'd find out anyway, and I didn't want her to think I was keeping anything from her. I put myself in her shoes and thought I would want to know what was going on with those two. I wasn't trying to make India look bad or split them apart, and I didn't mention your name to take the blame off me. Your name came out by accident, and I'm so sorry."
She didn't say anything.
"You're one of my best friends, and I'd never try to hurt you. I wasn't trying to bring you into it like I thought it would make me look better if I blamed you, too. Your name just slipped out. I hope you can forgive me, but…I know you've been friends with India and Devon for forever, so I get it if you have to be…I dunno, loyal to them. I just hope you know I'd never try to hurt you," I said.
"Okay."
Okay? Did she mean she forgave me? Or was she acknowledging what I said about understanding why she'd be loyal to Devon and India over me?
"What do you mean exactly?" I asked.
"Okay, I forgive you."
"Seriously?"
"Yeah. I believe you. I was hurt, but I dunno. Devon and I were talking yesterday, and we both said we missed you and were confused about the whole thing. I said I couldn't see you trying to break us all up as friends or whatever, but then she said she always wondered if you just ran to us when Ericka and Tori were being jerks to you. We didn't think that was the case, but…I mean, it's hard to know what a person's truly all about sometimes."
Tell me about it.
"But I heard you the day Devon messed up at cheerleading tryout and knew you felt bad for her, and then I saw today how hurt you seemed when you saw us wearing the necklaces. I felt so bad. At first, I was like…is she just mad or jealous that we have them and didn't include her? But the look on your face — I felt super guilty. I did when we were buying them, too."
"It kind of surprised me that you guys went to get them."
"It was India's idea," she said.
"She hates me, doesn't she?"
"No, I think she's jealous of how fast you, Devon, and I became friends. And I think she was scared she'd be the outsider once Devon found out about her and Doug."
Dad was right.
"I'm sorry," Peyton said. "I got sucked into all the drama she was trying to create, because what she was saying was my worst fear—that you were somebody who would throw me under the bus if it made you look better. It's sad, but I guess I'm so used to backstabbing that I thought you were doing that, too, so you wouldn't get in trouble with Devon."
"Yeah, I got paranoid back in December when you guys were posting those pictures online saying you were the three musketeers. I felt so left out when I saw the three best friends hashtags — it was like I didn't even exist. It stinks to feel like an outsider."
"I never even thought about what India wrote when she posted those pics. Guess she was feeling insecure about you being a new member of our group then, too, huh?" she said.
"Do you think maybe we could…hang out after school or something?" I asked.
"Do you want to do something Friday?" she asked. "I'm sure my parents would be cool with you coming over."
I felt like a weight had been lifted off me. "That sounds great."
We got off the phone, and I realized I needed to call Devon. I wasn't sure what to say, but something told me just to say what was in my heart.
"Hello?"
"Devon, it's Landry."
"Oh. Hi."
"I just wanted to…I miss you. I'm sorry if you thought I was trying to do anything, I dunno, shady or whatever, but I was just telling you the truth."
"I know," she said quietly. "I think I always knew that, but I wasn't just upset over that. It felt like you were ignoring me or something. Every time I had a problem and needed to talk, you were always like, 'Vladi this and Vladi that.' I felt left out and I was going through this guy drama with India and Doug, and you weren't there for me. I think I was more upset about that than the other thing."
Oh wow, I didn't expect that.
"I hadn't meant to ignore you. I was just excited about having my first boyfriend."
"Wait, boyfriend? For real?" she asked.
"Well, he was. Past tense. He broke up with me today."
"Why? Jerk, I hate him already, but tell me why so I know how to direct my hate better," she said.
I laughed. "I guess I was too young for him," I said, telling her what he said.
"Sounds like his stupid friends were getting on him about having a girlfriend."
"Yeah, one in eighth grade."
"No, I bet it's the fact they don't have girlfriends. I bet they were jealous of him. I mean, why would they care if you're in eighth grade? Boys are stupid. His loss."
"I think the older guys on the team thought I was too young, too," I said. "I'm so dreading next year."
"Yeah, now that I'm not on the cheer squad, I'm not super psyched either. By the way, Peyton told me you were upset when I fell at the tryouts, even though you and I weren't even talking."
"You deserved a spot on the team," I said.
We talked until her mom came in and reminded her she wasn't done with her homework.
After we hung up, I realized we hadn't sorted out what was going to happen with India. I remembered what my dad said, that India might not be the bad guy; she might just be scared. I thought about how she'd feel when we all got to school tomorrow and she realized Peyton and Devon had made up with me and that left her on the outside. I knew how that felt and decided to call her. I knew there was a good chance she'd get mad or try to tell Devon and Peyton stuff about me, but I had to be brave.
"Hi, is India there?" I asked when a man answered. He said he'd get her, and she picked up the phone.
"Hello?"
"India, it's Landry."
She didn't say anything.
"I'm calling…" I stopped and took a deep breath. Then I decided to do what my dad said and give her an "out." "I'm sorry I told Devon about you and Doug when I told you I wouldn't. But you put me in a crappy position with that. I never should have agreed to that. I wasn't trying to come between you and Devon or start rumors or drama. I just put myself in her place and thought I'd want to know if something was going on behind my back."
I knew she wanted to ask if I had talked to Peyton or Devon. She was quiet, and I was worried she was texting them to find out if she needed to make up with me or could go on letting me be the outsider. I could apologize again and kiss up to her, but that was what the old Landry would have done — anything to keep peace. I was going to stand my ground, and I was not going to grovel.
"I did put you in a bad spot," she said. "I just…I wasn't going to let some stupid guy come between me and Devon. Honest. Nothing was going to happen there."
"I believe you," I said.
"I guess I did worry you were trying to start something by telling her that, but, I mean…it's Devon, and you know how she…wait. She's not on the line or anything? You guys aren't doing some call thing where she can hear everything…"
"No, I wouldn't do that," I said. "Seriously, Ericka did that to me once, so no. I would never do that to anybody."
"Sorry, paranoid. Devon has done that before," she said. "I'm sorry. If you want, I'll talk to Peyton and Devon for you and tell them the whole thing was stupid, and we should just forget about it."
She hadn't apologized just because she assumed I was talking to the other two?
"Actually, I talked to them already."
"You did? And everything's cool?" she asked, surprised.
"Yeah, but I wanted to make sure we were okay, too."
"You could have totally done to me what I sorta did to you. Or gotten back at me."
"Huh?"
"You could have gotten them mad at me, and I would have walked into school tomorrow completely unaware and got knocked completely off guard."
"That's not my style," I said.
My mom came home then and pointed to her watch. It was past my allotted phone time.
"I have to go, but I'll see you tomorrow," I said.
"Okay. Thanks."
Chapter Nineteen
I went to the bus stop the next day, and Devon was eating a blueberry muffin. Ericka glanced up from her phone.
"Oh wow, Landry. I heard about you and Vladi. You must be devastated," Ericka said.
Ouch, I had no idea anyone other than the people I told knew about that. I stared at Devon, and her mouth was full, but she shook her head. Wait, did Tori tell her? I hadn't come right out and said, "Hey, please keep my heartbreak to yourself," but I thought it went without saying.
"Um, I'm fine," I said.
"But you liked him sooo much. You poor thing. You must feel so rejected," Ericka said.
Devon took a sip from her water bottle. "Actually, Ericka, why would Landry want to be tied down with one guy? I mean, yeah, it stinks, but whatever. Now she can focus on other stuff, and who knows what will happen when we get to the high school next year."
The bus pulled up, and we all got on. I sat in the seat across from Peyton, and Ericka plopped down next to me.
Ericka kept going. "I just feel bad that everyone knows Vladi dumped you. You're such a sweetie, and you deserve better."
What she was saying was nice, in theory, but there was a sting behind it. If I said, "You know what? That doesn't sound sincere," she would have called me paranoid and "too sensitive." So I sat there and took it — and felt awful.
"You know, maybe you don't realize it Ericka, but you are coming off a little passive aggressive. I'm sure you don't mean to, but you might want to watch that," a voice said. It was Ashanti. She whirled back around and missed Ericka sticking her tongue out at the back of her head. I saw Devon smirk.
The bus pulled up to the school, and I tried to catch up with Ashanti, but she was walking too fast.
"Hey, thanks," I said. "For what you said back there."
"Whatever. I have to get to class," she said and walked past me.
I stood there feeling stupid.
"She's so rude," Ericka said, coming up next to me. "What's her deal anyway?"
I shrugged and went to class.
****
At lunch Devon called me over to take cuts in line. Tori raised her eyebrows at me. I felt the whole past drama about "abandoning" her and Ericka since Devon and I were friends again coming up, so I said, "Come with me," to Tori, and she followed me up in line.
"It's chicken enchilada day — score!" Devon said. "By the way, Yasmin is apparently trying to get Vladi's attention now. What is wrong with that girl? Can't she be, like, single for two seconds?"
My stomach rolled over. "Are they texting each other or anything?"
"Nope, but she claims someone at the high school told her he's totally into her."
"How did they meet?" I asked.
Devon rolled her eyes. "They didn't. She just happened to walk through the gym while he was practicing. It was when she was trying out for cheerleading. She pretended she got lost looking for the drinking fountain. Of course, he was staring at her — how dumb can a person be to wander into a gym during a basketball practice? Seriously, I wouldn't worry."
Tori shook her head. "Yasmin wouldn't bring it up if she didn't think he liked her. She'd never risked looking rejected."
There was that word again, "rejected." But Tori was right. Yasmin would never
put herself in that position unless she truly thought Vladi liked her. And he probably was…I mean, what was there not to like? She was confident, popular, pretty, smart, and talented. Why wouldn't he want to date her? I was sure his friends would overlook the age thing for her, since she was a goddess. I was just some kid who got on a little modeling show; Yasmin was sophisticated.
"Why don't you text Vladi and ask him what's up with that?" Devon said. "Then you'll find out if there's any truth to it or not."
No way. I didn't want to know if there was anything to it. Plus, I didn't want to look like the crazy ex who was stalking him and wondering who he was talking to and seeing. I felt like it was better just to let it go. Yup, I would ignore it and pretend it didn't bother me at all.
That worked for approximately five minutes until we got our lunches and sat down at the table. Halle and Maggie came over with their trays. Sure, sometimes I sat with Halle and Maggie just to be able to eat with Ashanti, but they were always at the table when I got there and I was the semi-uninvited guest. So why were they suddenly so keen on getting up to walk all the way over to share a table with us? Devon wasn't on the cheerleading squad, so they had no reason to come over.
"So Landry, why did you and Yagudin break up?" Maggie asked. I saw Halle give her a funny look.
"Just…you know…whatever." What could I say? He told me it was about my age, but that obviously wasn't true if he was going to go out with Yasmin, who was in my class.
"No, I don't. What was the problem?" she said.
Devon shifted in her chair. "It's private. Landry isn't the type to talk about relationship stuff."
Best Friends...Forever? Page 11
