Dan let go of her hand and rose from the chair, moving behind Susie. He stared at the screen, his hand covering his mouth while she snapped more images and typed a few words here and there.
The minutes ticked by in silence, each one multiplying the dread swirling inside Jenny’s stomach. How could the baby who had seemed so alive and perfect moments before have something wrong with it? Dozens of scenarios entered her mind, each one worse than the one before it. Finally, she found the courage to ask, “What is it?”
Both Dan and Susie snapped their heads to her, then at each other. An unspoken conversation passed between them that ended when Jason and Mike came back into the room.
“Did we miss anything?” Mike asked, clearly over his initial shock on learning he was having a daughter.
“Dan?” she asked.
The atmosphere in the room chilled, and Dan backed away from the ultrasound machine. “I’m not an OB or a radiologist.”
“But you see something, don’t you?” Jenny propped herself up on her elbows. “There’s something wrong with the baby.”
“I didn’t say that.” He took a few more steps toward the door and turned to Mike and Jason. “It’s not my area of expertise.”
Impatience lit with the fear brewing her chest and exploded. “Tell me, Dan.”
He looked one more time at the two lawyers in the room and shook his head. “I can’t.”
Mike nodded solemnly and placed his hand on Jason’s shoulder. “What he means is that from a medical–legal standpoint, it’s something beyond his training where he could be held accountable if he’s wrong.”
Dan pressed his lips together as though he wanted to tell him what he saw but was forcing himself not to speak. He looked down at the ground and took another step back.
“Damn it, Dan, I don’t care!” She sat up and jumped off the bed, pushing Susie out of her way. “Tell me.”
A stony stare was all she got in response.
His pager went off, and he lifted it to read the number. “My next case is ready. I need to go back to the OR.”
Her breath came sharp and fast, and the room spun around her. Jason and Mike flanked her and led her back to the bed before her knees gave out. A hot tear streaked down her cheek, and Dan winced.
“I’m sorry, Jenny. We’ll talk later tonight.”
He disappeared before she could say anything else. The earlier joy of having him back vanished, leaving an uncertain emptiness that would plague her until she knew the truth about her child.
Chapter Fourteen
Dan massaged the back of his neck and sat in his car. It had been one hell of a day so far, but it wasn’t over yet. He stared up at Jenny’s condo, trying to figure out how to break the news to her gently. He’d told the truth when he’d said that he wasn’t trained to read a fetal ultrasound, but he’d seen enough in his career to know what he was looking at. One glance at the screen told him what was wrong with the baby.
Intestines did not belong outside the abdominal cavity.
The light coming from her window told him she was still up, maybe waiting for him. He’d wrapped up his last case hours ago. The rest of the afternoon had been spent in the hospital’s NICU, talking to the perinatologist and gathering information for Jenny, Jason, and Mike. If he was going to deliver bad news, hopefully, he could soften the blow by letting them know what to expect. He was armed with informational booklets, names of OBs specializing in high-risk cases and pediatric surgeons, numbers for Seattle Children’s Hospital, and web addresses for online support groups. But more important, he was committed to staying by Jenny’s side throughout all of this like he would if it were his own kid.
He rubbed his chest. The ache there still lingered. The ultrasound had revived the intensity of it like reopening a half-healed wound. He’d seen the baby’s face on the screen and wished with all his heart that it had been his child’s. Even after he’d seen the bowel floating around in the amniotic fluid, he still wanted the child. It wasn’t until he was on his way over here that he realized why.
It was because the child was Jenny’s.
And even though he wasn’t going to be a father, he could still be the man she leaned on when she needed strength. He could give her that much.
And maybe so much more if she would take him back.
He gathered up the stack of papers and pamphlets and climbed the stairs to her condo, his heart thudding with each heavy step. As a surgeon, he’d given bad news more times than he’d wanted to, but this time, it was to someone he loved.
Jenny was sitting on the couch between Jason and Mike, staring blankly ahead with a nearly empty tissue box nestled between her legs. Her eyes were red-rimmed and raw, her cheeks blotchy. She sniffled once before turning those mournful dark eyes on him.
Her grief hit him like a punch in the gut. God, he wanted to do nothing more than gather her up in his arms and hold her until he convinced her that everything would be all right. But the two men on either side of her kept him from doing that. As long as he was under the watchful eyes of men who were both her brothers and lawyers, he had to retain some semblance of professionalism.
“My OB called this afternoon asking me to come into tomorrow to discuss the ultrasound,” Jenny said, her voice hollow. “She wouldn’t tell me why, either.”
Dan pulled out a chair from the small dining table and turned it around so he could straddle it. The high wooden back offered him some restraint as he replied, “Now that we’re alone, I can tell you what I saw, if you want to know.”
Jenny looked at her brother, then at Mike before nodding. “We all want to know, and even if you’re wrong, we’d still appreciate your opinion and will not hold you accountable.”
He wanted to laugh at her carefully schooled response. Mike must have coached her while they were waiting. “Good to know I’m not in danger of being held liable.” He laid the stack of papers on the table and took a deep breath. “The baby has gastroschisis.”
Jenny’s brows angled down in confusion. “What?”
“Gastroschisis. It’s where there’s a defect in the abdominal wall that allows parts of the intestine to escape.” He handed the pamphlet explaining the condition to her. “That’s what I saw in the ultrasound.”
Mike and Jason huddled around her to read over her shoulders. “And you’re fairly certain that’s what you saw?” Mike asked.
“I’d say about ninety-five percent certain. I know bowel when I see it.”
Mike narrowed his eyes, ready to pick apart his assessment. “And the other five percent?”
“The slight chance that this could be a loose omphalocele or perhaps a very odd-looking umbilical cord. But what goes against either is that an omphalocele has a membrane around it that keeps the intestines contained, and the umbilical cord has a distinctive blood flow appearance on ultrasound.”
“So you’re fairly certain?” Jenny repeated.
Dan hugged the chair back and nodded. He was almost a hundred percent certain, but his years of medical training had taught him that nothing was ever one hundred percent. He’d seen patients survive the odds just like he’d seen routine conditions turn lethal. The human body still amazed and surprised him with its fortitude and fragility.
“So what does this mean for our daughter?” Jason asked.
“It means she probably won’t come home with you until she’s about a month old, give or take a few weeks.” He handed them the list of providers. “Your OB will probably refer you to a high-risk OB for continued monitoring. You should be able to deliver her normally, and once she’s born, one of the perinatologists will assess her and take her to Children’s. From there, the surgeons will help return the bowel to the abdomen and stitch it closed.”
Jenny looked up from the paperwork. “And that will take a month?”
Dan shook his head. “No, that’s the easy part. The hard part will be getting her bowels to start working properly so she can eat and grow. That’s what takes the longest time, according t
o the perinatologist I spoke to this afternoon.”
Jenny distributed some of the information to her brother and brother-in-law. After they swapped it around and read, Mike asked, “What’s the survival rate?”
“Almost a hundred percent. Most of the kids do well and only have a tiny scar to show for it. They grow up to live normal lives.”
Jenny’s lower lip quivered, and she lowered her eyes. “And what are the chances this will happen again?”
“Very low. As far as we know, it’s not genetic, and there’s no known cause. It’s just one of those freak things that happen.”
Her shoulders dropped, and she closed her eyes. Relief washed over her features. “Thank you, Dan.”
“Yes, thank you,” Jason echoed. “You’re been more than helpful. Mike and I are going to take all of this home and read through it.” He didn’t have to add that he was leaving his sister in Dan’s care.
The married couple rose, and each one gave Jenny a kiss on the cheek. Mike held out his hand to Dan. “I appreciate you putting all this together for us and answering our questions. Is there any chance you could perform the surgery she needs?”
“I appreciate the sentiment, but I’m going to leave this to the experts.” He stood and shook Mike’s hand, and then Jason’s. “Apparently, the guys at Children’s see at least twenty of these a year, so they know exactly what needs to be done to get her home to you as quickly as possible.”
“Good to know.” Jason waved to Jenny before following his husband out of the condo.
Jenny stayed where she was, tearing her damp tissue into tiny little pieces. “So I didn’t do anything wrong to hurt the baby?”
“Absolutely not.” He sat next her and put his arm around her shoulder.
“I was so scared that I had. From the moment I saw the look on the ultrasound tech’s face, I knew something was wrong, and all I could think about was how I’d messed up Mike and Jason’s child.”
He tilted her chin up to face him. “It’s your child, too, Jenny.”
“I know. That’s what makes this all so hard.” She grabbed a fresh tissue and dabbed her eyes before burying her face in the space between his neck and shoulder. “I tried so hard not to get attached to her because I knew the minute she was born, she’d be taken away from me, but it’s hard not to love a child when you feel her kick you every day or see her face on the screen or know she’s going to need surgery as soon as she’s born.”
The ache flared again in his chest, and he squeezed his arms around her. “I know.”
“Shit, Dan, I’m sorry.” She lifted her head. “I guess if there’s a silver lining to all this, it’s that it isn’t your child who has her intestines protruding from her stomach.”
“Nothing’s changed the way I feel about her.” He rested his hand on her belly, wishing he could feel the baby moving inside like she did. “Even though I know she isn’t my child, she’s still a part of you, and that’s reason enough for me to love her.”
Her breath caught, and her lips parted. “You love her, even though she’s not yours?”
He ran his fingers along her tear-streaked cheek, rubbing away some of the fine grains of salt that clung to her skin. Why was it so easy to tell her he loved a person he’d never seen, never held in his arms, and yet so frightening to tell her the exact same words? “At first I was disappointed. I was really looking forward to becoming a father, to raising a family of my own. And when I learned the baby wasn’t mine, well, I…”
Shame rolled through his gut like a poorly cooked meal, and he turned away. “I’ve been a selfish asshole, Jenny. I was so upset to learn the baby wasn’t mine that I forgot the most important thing in all this. You were mine. You have such a generous heart to do something like this for your brother, but all I could see was you had something that didn’t belong to me. I forgot to see that you were willing to open your heart up to me, even though I’d done nothing to deserve a place there.”
She silenced him by placing her finger on his lips. The dull sorrow that had filled her eyes since he’d arrived broke away like clouds after the rain, revealing the warm light shining behind them. Her smile was as bright as the sun. It chased away the last shadows of doubt that had plagued him. “I love you, too, Dan.”
He lowered her hand and said, “I know, because you said it first. But if you let me, I’ll spend the rest of my days telling you how much I love you.”
“Don’t tell me. Show me.” She pulled him closer and kissed him.
He tried to ignore the desire she sparked within him from the moment their lips touched, but it was so entwined with the love he felt for her that it was impossible to separate the two emotions. He let them dance through his veins to the slow, sensual tempo she set with her tongue. The salt from her tears mingled with the sweetness of her mouth. He pulled her closer, his arousal increasing with every decadent kiss until he was on the verge of making love to her right there. Based on the way she clung to him, she wouldn’t stop him. But he needed to stop.
He wasn’t nearly done apologizing to her.
He pulled away, his breath shaking, and said, “There’s more. I want you to have this.”
Her mouth formed a perfect circle, and her panic flashed in her eyes as he reached into his pocket. “Dan, I—”
She fell silent when he pressed the red, twenty-sided piece of plastic into her hand. Wonder and surprise lit up her face as she rolled it across her palm. “Your lucky die?”
“I don’t need it anymore. I figure as long as I have you, I’m the luckiest man in the world.”
Jenny threw her arms around his neck and hugged him. “Thank you, Dan.”
Then she pulled away, her face more serious. “I admit, I was a bit worried it was something else.”
“A ring?” he teased. Not that he hadn’t thought of it. But somehow, proposing to her didn’t seem like the best idea after delivering the bad news.
Color filled her cheeks, and she looked away. “Is it silly of me to think such a thing?”
“Not at all.” He brushed his hand through her silky black hair. “If I offered one to you, would you take it?”
She hesitated for a moment, puffing her cheeks out as she held her breath. “Maybe.”
“Maybe?” He repeated her response, his pride bearing the brunt of her blow.
“I think we need to start over, Dan. Be honest from the beginning, and not keep secrets from each other. Or, at least, I do.” She removed his hands and pressed them into his lap, her voice as serious as the announcer who lists all the warnings at the end of a pharmaceutical commercial. “Hi, I’m Hue Jenny Nguyen. I’m a total geek who designs robots for a living. My mother is the poster child for insane tiger moms, but my dad is kind of cool. My brother is gay and married to a black man. And, oh, by the way, I’m carrying their child.”
“Trying to scare me away?”
Her lips twitched, and she shook her head. “Just want to make sure you know what you’re getting yourself into if you want to date me.”
“Fine, but now it’s my turn. Hi, I’m Daniel Kelly. I’m a geek, too, who uses robots to perform surgeries for a living. My mom seems patient, but she’s always hinting that she wants grandchildren. I have six brothers, some of whom are celebrities, making me probably the most boring in the bunch.” He lowered his voice and leaned closer. “And I happen to find pregnant women very attractive.”
She laughed, the sound clear and light after all the gloom and darkness of the day. “So you find big bellies and cankles sexy?”
“Um-hmm.” He caressed her bump and pressed his lips to the nape of her neck. “I’d be lying if I said I didn’t like your new curves.” He cupped one of her breasts and kissed the top of the rounded mound. “Especially these curves.”
“Keep talking like that, and you’ll get me naked on the first date.”
“I already did that.” Memories of their first night together flashed though his mind, and his dick responded like an overeager teenage boy’s. As m
uch as he wanted to draw that pebbled nipple into his mouth, he forced his lips up her neck toward her jaw. “I want more than just you naked in my bed. I want to make you come. I want to make you feel worshipped and adored. I want you to know that I find every delicious inch of you sexy.”
She dug her fingers into his thighs and arched her neck back. “I find that hard to believe while we’re both still wearing our clothes.”
“Are you calling me a liar?”
“Let’s see what the die says. High, he’s telling the truth. Low, he’s just trying to get into my panties.”
“I’m trying to get into your panties, regardless,” he said with a growl of need.
She rolled the die on the coffee table.
Fourteen.
“Maybe the die isn’t quite in tune with me yet. Let me roll it again.”
He grabbed her hand before she could retrieve the die, lifted her up in his arms, and carried her into the bedroom. “It’s just a stupid piece of plastic anyway.”
“Not to me.” She turned his face to hers and kissed him long after he’d laid her on the bed.
Chapter Fifteen
The baby kicked harder than usual as though she sensed her mother’s anxiety. Jenny rested her hand on the growing bump that now took over her entire lap and willed the baby to be still. Her stomach was already tied in enough knots to make a kinbaku master proud. Tonight was the night she was taking Dan to formally meet her parents.
Unlike most girls, it wasn’t her father she worried about. It was her mom. Her father would likely greet Dan in his calm manner, ask a few questions, and nod pleasantly since he knew how much Jenny already loved him. Her mother, on the other hand, would likely interrogate Dan with a slew of inappropriate questions about topics ranging from his income to his zodiac sign. Jenny had put off this meeting as long as she could, but when her parents specially invited Dan over to their house to celebrate Chinese New Year, she knew her time was up.
At least it will be a small family gathering, she said to herself as Dan exited off Ruston Way toward her parents’ house. Nothing too extreme.
The Heart's Game (The Kelly Brothers, Book 4) Page 13
