by Geeta Kakade
Bridget was very very sure she did not want to risk any chance of running into Andrew tonight. Just the thought of seeing him with the memory of the scene in the bathroom fresh in her mind, was enough to make the color rush to her face.
“Are you all right?” Moira looked at her closely. “You look so flushed. Not coming down with a cold are you?”
“I’m fine,” said Bridget.
“It’s the science project,” Frank yawned and stretched. “It’s just driving us crazy. I’m really tired.”
“Well that’s enough working on it for tonight then. Get to bed.”
“Aww! I thought I could watch some tv.”
“Too tired to work on science project, too tired for tv,” Moira’s voice was firm. “You can talk to your Dad though before you go to bed after you brush your teeth.”
“I can? Great!” He picked up the cell phone said goodnight to Bridget and his mom and vanished.
“And don’t smuggle Coco into your bedroom,” his mother said.
“How’s your husband doing?” Bridget asked as she sipped the hot chocolate that Moira had brought her in a thermos.
“Loves Alaska and the money he makes there.”
“Think you’ll go out and visit him next summer as he wants you to?”
Moira shrugged. “I don’t know. It depends if he enrolls in the 12 step program or not. Hank says the cold makes it difficult not to drink and I don’t want to expose Frank to that again.”
“That’s hard on you too.”
“I gave my marriage twenty years so I’m used to Hank’s ways but Frank deserves better,” said Moira. “I’m not the twenty year old anymore who fell in love with him and kept believing his promises to change. I kept miscarrying and when I finally had Frank I was thirty. I thought having a baby would make a difference to Hank’s drinking but it didn’t. When he lost his job two years ago and couldn’t find another one, it got out of control. It wasn’t till he left without saying a word, taking all our savings, that I realized I had to make a new life for my son and me or we would never be free. I want different things now…a settled home, work that will keep me busy, and peace and quiet for Frank and me.”
“Christy tells me you won’t take a regular salary. Is it enough just to have an allowance?”
Moira nodded. “More than. Mark and Christy pay for medical and dental coverage for Frank and me. Christy’s offered me the use of her car when I want it but I prefer taking the bus. We have a nice apartment here and all the food we can eat and the best work environment anyone could wish for. We are treated as family. Christy’s given me so many new clothes that her mother keeps sending her I don’t have room for them in my closet. She and Mark took Frank shopping for school clothes and shoes before school started. What more could I want? Hank sends money from time to time and I’m putting that into a college fund for Frank.”
She ended on a sigh.
“But…?” Bridget prompted.
“But I still worry that a boy needs his father around and I’m depriving Frank of that.”
“Maybe if Hank realizes how much you both mean to him and how definite you are about not going out there unless he does something about his alcoholism he will enroll in the 12 step program.”
Moira shrugged again. “Maybe and then again maybe not but I’ve made peace with my decision and I know it’s the best one for Frank and me right now.”
Bridget thought about it later in bed. Moira’s words had nailed home the truth…whatever decision one made, one had to be at total peace with for it to be the right one. If things went wrong then the courage to change one’s life to make things better was of paramount importance.
Bridget knew she didn’t want to be a nun. As Mother Superior had said, one didn’t have to become a nun to do God’s work or follow God’s laws for mankind. One could do it anywhere, in any role.
Mark and Christy had introduced her to another life and Andrew had shown her the way to her feelings. It had happened so subtly that she hadn’t been aware of the change in herself till the night they had been stranded at Miner’s Rock. The fact she’d felt no need to be ashamed of the choices she’d made that night to stay in the same room with him and to trust him, had shown her how far she had travelled on the road of self discovery.
The drawing in the diary had removed the last vestiges of worry about her background. Even though there was still a mystery surrounding her parents, she knew she felt different since the day she had discovered the picture of the ring. The fact she’d made the discovery after she’d realized it was more important people accept her for whom she was not who her parents were had also done wonders for her outlook on life.
Then there were the dolls… finding Christy’s collection had uncovered an interest that Bridget would like to follow and turn into a career. She wanted to have an online store one day, to collect and sell dolls from all over the world.
The feeling that she was responsible for the course her life would take was indescribable. Guided by her internal compass that adhered to what was right and good, she was finding her own way…she wasn’t simply a bit of flotsam being swept along by the currents. Life beckoned her on a new path and she was eager to follow the new route.
If only she could have Andrew in her life as a husband her circle of happiness would be complete. If it was meant to be, it would happen. One couldn’t hurry God along. She would keep making her request that Andrew return her love when she prayed…frequent reminders were allowed.
Bridget knew she had to let Mother Superior and Sister Winifred know her decision not to join the order, right away. She’d talk to Mark and Christy after that and let them know too.
The Lodge was full, the holiday cleaning well under way. When Mrs. Kemp realized how detailed the cleaning was she insisted on taking over the cooking freeing Moira to focus on giving the family room, formal dining and living room a thorough ‘take apart and put back together’, going over. Toby helped when he wasn’t in his greenhouse though he had said, “We be cleaning and polishing so much there mightn’t be anything left to see when we’re done!”
The box Bridget had finally taken out to the garage was the one she had put aside of the dolls in need of repairs. Some of them had to have new limbs, others needed a limb re-joined, one needed a hair implant. Most of the ones in the renovation box also needed new clothes.
She’d started on some clothes, copying the period designs faithfully once she had made sure which year the dolls belonged to. The renovated dolls would be sold for much less than their counterparts but Bridget still wanted to feel she had given her best to the project.
Moira and Mrs. Kemp both insisted that Bridget work full time on the doll renovation so she could finish it before Christy and Mark got back in two weeks. They wanted her to enjoy what she was doing without feeling she had to be in the kitchen or run errands all the time.
The website was flooded with people telling her about the dolls she couldn’t identify and with requests to contact them if she wanted to sell the dolls. She was learning so much every day and enjoying the experience tremendously.
Mr. Kemp wisely stayed out of everyone’s way during the cleaning. He worked in the garage these days on the accounts and reservations and said it was his favorite area in the house.
While she baked and fried and grilled her way through countless meals, Mrs. Kemp was heard to mutter under her breath, “He’s never been happier, bless his cholesterol clogged heart.”
Frank was busy and happy with the two dogs.
There was an undeniable air of holiday cheer in the house and no one seemed to notice how quiet Bridget and Andrew were around each other.
Bridget went looking for Toby one afternoon to ask him if he could re-hinge a loose joint in a doll and saw Andrew there working with a tiny set of screwdrivers on the head of one of the dolls.
Looking up he saw her and said, “Toby’s a great teacher.”
“I had no idea you were helping repair the dolls. Thank you.” Said
Bridget.
“Makes a change from my work,” he said, “and sometimes when I’m getting frustrated with breaking a code, an hour in here doing something totally different I go back to it I can see my way clear.”
“Are you working again?” Bridget’s heart lifted. It was work that kept him in his room. It wasn’t an effort to avoid her.
He looked at her and as their gazes met tension filled the air. “HQ’s started sending me a few jobs as I’m feeling fine. They know I want to be back at work.”
“When did your doctor say he’d give you the all clear?”
Bridget knew he needed a signed form from his doctor at the Veteran’s Hospital to be able to return to work.
“He’s already been in touch with HQ after a conference with Dr. Rustom and he says there’s nothing wrong with my working as there was nothing wrong with my mind in the first place. He says officially I’ll be declared physically fit by Jan 1st.”
Bridget knew she ought to be happy for Andrew but instead she was aware of a sinking feeling. Every step forward in his recovery was a step away from Cupid Lodge. Would she ever see him again once they both left?
Aware that Andrew was looking at her intently she was never more glad when Toby came into the garage.
“I was wondering if you could fix this doll. Her knee is loose.” She showed him the doll.
“Of course,” said Toby. “I’ll bring her in when I’m done unless you want to pull up a chair and join us.”
“I’m cold,” said Bridget suddenly turning away. “Plus I have to finish what I’m doing inside.”
Toby stared after her. “Now that’s strange,” he said. “Christy’s the one who’s always feeling the cold not Bridget.”
He looked at Andrew whose head was bent over the doll he was repairing. More needed fixing her than just dolls thought Toby as he sat down.
When the delivery van pulled up at midday, ten days before Mark and Christy were due back all of them were in the kitchen having lunch.
“Wonder who that is?” said Bridget when the doorbell rang.
They had a group from Germany staying at Cupid Lodge who liked being out for as long as they could, sometimes returning at midnight. No one came visiting at midday.
“I’ll get it,” said Andrew getting to his feet surprisingly quickly.
Mrs. Kemp followed him to the door and they all looked up when they heard her loud, “Gracious me!”
Two men were carrying in something that looked huge. Bridget watched them unwrap it and gasped. It was the cabinet that Christy and she had decided would be the perfect one for the doll display. Had Christy ordered it and forgotten to tell her?
Her gaze met Andrew’s. Something about the look in them gave her a clue.
“You got it?” she said in a daze.
He nodded. “I saw the magazine and this cabinet marked in it. It’s a thank you present for Christy.”
He’d said the garage was his thank you present to Mark. Andrew had to be the most generous man she knew.
“Where do you want it?” asked one of the men.
In a daze Bridget showed them the spot she’d picked out with Christy between the two side windows in the living room. She stood staring at the cabinet after they had gone. It looked wonderful in this room and it would look even better once she had the dolls in it.
“It’s perfect,” she said. “Wait till Christy…”
“No calling or e-mailing them about it please,” Andrew cut in quickly. “I want this to be a surprise.”
Mrs. Kemp cleared her throat and suddenly everyone except Bridget and Andrew retreated to the kitchen.
Bridget opened the cabinet doors and ran her hands along the shelves. They were clean and smooth. The cabinet locked so the dolls would be safe but she had texted Christy saying the dolls would have to be insured after she and Mr. Kemp had done a calculation on how much they cost. She checked the doors. They fit snugly as the catalog had promised which was very important to keep the dust out. The spot the cabinet was in was perfect as it got no direct light from the windows or sunlight After lining the shelves with acid free paper she would set up a display of the dolls she and Christy had picked out.
Excited at the prospect of the great surprise this would be for Christy, she turned to Andrew. “You couldn’t have thought of anything better. They will love it.”
He looked at her liking the glow happiness brought to her face, the sheen of tears in her eyes. “I’m glad you like it.”
He couldn’t help looking at her mouth and then away. The temptation to put his arms around her and kiss her was so strong that he turned away. He’d been glad when the Norwegian who kept asking Bridget to go out with him had left last week.
Bridget looked up Andrew as he went to his room. She knew the cabinet had been one of the most expensive in the catalog; that Andrew’s gift was more than generous. He hated to be in anyone’s debt and this would more than wipe the slate clean. As Christy had asked, Bridget had checked Christy’s bank account online and she’d seen his deposits for his board and lodging each week.
She went into the kitchen and Mrs. Kemp looked at her. “You’re going to be busier than ever setting up that cabinet aren’t you? I’m going to bake some persimmon cookies and then make Andrew the best pork pot roast he’s ever had.”
“I’ve printed all the signs you wrote out,” said Mr. Kemp, “using the Calligraphy font for the display dolls and I’m going to be in the garage playing Bridge on the computer if you need me.”
“I’m taking Toby to the dentist,” Moira added. “Who would have thought he’d be such a baby about a filling that he won’t go unless someone is with him.”
They all smiled at that. Toby had gotten as far as the door of the dentist’s last week and then turned away with the flimsy excuse his tooth felt better.
“When I come back,” Moira continued. “I’m going to do an inventory of everything in the freezer, the pantry, both refrigerators and the kitchen shelves as I clean to help me make a list of things we’ll need for the holidays.”
“And as soon as I find coupons for the things on the holiday list, or they go on sale, I’ll buy them,” said Bridget. “It’ll be great to have a well stocked pantry ready for the holidays.”
The consensus was mutual. Everyone wanted to welcome Mark and Christy home with the house and everything in it at its best.
Bridget worked on the doing the cabinet and setting up the display cards with so much concentration she lost count of the time till she heard Andrew say. “That shelf looks great.”
“You think so?” She stood back to look at her work critically.
“Considering you’ve arranged and rearranged everything on different shelves for the last three hours, run up and down for more stuff, taken pictures, shaken your head, looked at the magazines and gone back and changed the displays, yes, I think so.”
She looked at him, surprised. “Have I really taken that long? I just want it to be perfect.”
“If I know you, it will be. Want to take a break and have some hot chocolate?”
Bridget looked at him happy to see him relaxed and smiling. It must be his work and the fact that his knee was healing well and he could almost do without the cane that had him in such a good mood. Viktor was safe at the Convent, giving every piece of electronic equipment there an overhaul. It was easy, he said, for him to stay out of sight in the guesthouse and in the evening he taught a beginner’s computer class to the eight year olds in the Orphanage and helped the older ones interested in learning programming. Sister Winifred had told the children he was a visiting Professor who was doing research on child development.
“Smells like pot roast for dinner, “ said Andrew when they went into the kitchen.
“Guess who’s on the top of Mrs. Kemp’s list of favorites today?” she teased.
Andrew laughed. “I am and I want to stay there for as long as possible.”
As she washed up Bridget realized she’d had a really happy mornin
g; that it felt so right to be doing what she loved.
With the man you love beside you?
Guilty she hadn’t called Mother Superior yet with her decision about not joining the Order, Bridget decided to put her feelings into a letter that night, wait three days after posting it and then follow up with a call.
Entering the kitchen she stopped. On the kitchen counter was a pile of CD’s. Her gaze lit on the top one; the latest Andre Rieu in concert.
“These are to thank you for taking me in for rehab and for waiting so patiently all those times I’ve been late,” Andrew said.
Bridget said, “Thank you but you don’t have to buy me anything. You’re paying me enough.”
She didn’t feel very happy though. Was Andrew doling out gifts because he was getting ready to leave the minute Mark and Christy got back? Bridget was afraid to ask him. She had to mind her own business and plan her own departure soon.
She wondered if the sweaters she was knitting for each one of them would be enough of a Christmas gift considering all they had done for her. She wanted them to have them on Thanksgiving Day before she returned to the Convent. St. Mary’s was still her home and she could stay there and help Mother Superior in the office and work on building up a doll collection and a website of her own in her spare time.
She would move out of St. Mary’s as soon as she had the money for rent on an apartment.
Christy and Mark sat in the living room of his uncle’s penthouse suite watching the view of Lake Michigan through the floor to ceiling glass windows.
“Ready to go home?” he asked
“Yes. More than.”
The visit had been wonderful. Mark had spent time with his mother, going for long walks with her along the lakeshore in the mornings while Christy worked on the blog. Christy liked her mother in law and they spent time shopping in Fields and going to the Museums. In the evenings there were family gatherings and plenty to talk about.
“There’s something I want to ask you about…”Christy hesitated.
“Yes?”
