by Hazel Parker
I finished a quick, unscheduled meeting and dialed in a lunch order to the deli across the street.
“Thank God they deliver.”
I frantically typed in my clients’ updates into the computer while wolfing down my sandwich and coleslaw. Sure, it didn’t follow any diet I was trying to stay on, but a girl had to eat. I managed to get a few more updates into the computer before leaving to pick up the deputy for a trip I had to a client’s home. I had my own opinion about the woman and her living habits, but overall my job required me to put my personal feelings aside.
I brought the deputy along just to be safe. From my last encounter with the woman, she was very angry to learn that her ten-year-old daughter would be removed from the house because of its unlivable conditions. There was so much wrong with that house – trash, dog feces, moldy food, and lack of a properly working toilet. Really, the list could go on. I had been counseling the woman for months, trying to prepare her for the consequences that would inevitably occur if she didn’t improve her home’s condition. She didn’t listen. Well, at least it didn’t seem like she did, so the agency removed the child and placed her in foster care. Now the woman was angry and hurt at the outcome. I agreed to meet with her in the home and arranged the sheriff’s deputy to accompany me. I didn’t think the woman would try anything crazy, but it was better to have law enforcement around just in case.
Thankfully, the appointment went better than I’d hoped. The woman had calmed down enough to listen to my carefully worded recommendation. The deputy’s presence probably hadn’t hurt either. We spent an hour and a half talking and she agreed to meet with me and the child welfare worker tomorrow.
Back at my desk, I took a deep breath and tried to coach myself to stay energized.
“Okay. Only two more appointments, then you can go home.”
I met with a couple in their forties who were looking for home care for the father’s elderly mother. They were overwhelmed by the multitude of opinions and didn’t know which home care agency could best serve the woman’s needs. I provided an honest assessment based on several years of working with home care agencies and promised to follow up with the couple in a week.
My last client was a veteran in his thirties who couldn’t find a job after ending his tour of duty six months prior. He had great managerial and technical skills, but I could tell there wasn’t much opportunity for him. Since my client was computer savvy and had experience in that industry, I recommended he considered getting a certificate or an associate’s degree in one of the in-demand programs. He seemed receptive and I put him in contact with a local community college’s career counselor. We decided to meet in two weeks to discuss the results of the meeting.
“Finally,” I said, putting my head on the desk and covering my head with my arms. “Time to go home.”
The words were muffled against the desk and my arms.
“That bad huh?”
I glanced through my arms to see Ashlyn leaning against the desk. Her red hair was in a perfect bun, with tiny, spiral curls pulled out to frame her face. She was tall and her boots came to her thighs, making her legs look even longer.
“Girl, you don’t even know.”
She crossed her legs and picked some invisible dirt from her nails. “I know you need to go talk to him.”
I groaned from under my pitiful position on the desk.
“Take it from me – you ain’t looking too hot. You need to talk to him.”
I didn’t like what she was insinuating. I sat up and crossed my arms. “I don’t need him,” I said, annoying myself with how much I sounded like a child.
“Uh girl, you kinda do. You were better when you were getting dicked down. Now look at you – all aggravated and looking crazed.”
“Hey!”
“Look, love, you know I’m on your side, but you look crazy. Your hair has tangles and you look like you’re auditioning to be Dracula’s new girl with those bags under your eyes.”
I didn’t need to look in a mirror to know she was right. Ashlyn wouldn’t lie.
“Do you like this guy?”
“Yeah.”
“Then go tell him.”
“But—”
She held up her hand, stopping me from talking. “But nothing. You go tell that man, ‘I love you, honey.’ You know you’re like a sister to me, so hear me when I say this. You like him, and the sex was explosive. Don’t throw that away because you’re full of pride.” She pushed the stray hairs away from my face and looked into my eyes. “Okay?”
“Okay.”
“Good. Now go get your man,” she said, turning me towards the door and smacking me on the ass.
Chapter 13
Ethan
My phone rang. Again. For the fifth time, and I knew who it was. It was the same person that called the last four times. Fucking Molly. She didn’t give up. I thought she, of all people, could understand. Rival clubs. That was what the fuck we were to each other. That was all we could ever be to each other. She swore this wasn’t any plot to attack me, but how could I believe her? Over the weeks she’d texted me and asked for time to explain, but how could I believe anything she said? I knew in my heart I would believe anything she said, and that was the problem. That was exactly why I couldn’t allow myself to listen. She’d gotten too close and that made me unreliable. I couldn’t make any decision when it came to her. Any thing I did would eventually fall back on the club and I wasn’t going to let the club fall over no broad. Except Molly wasn’t just a broad. I couldn’t even call her that out loud.
It had been three weeks. I’d thought she had given up. After the first day of unanswered calls and texts, she’d stopped – given up. Or so I thought. Now she was calling again.
“Who’s that?” Luke said as my phone vibrated against my chest for the sixth time.
“No one,” I said, glancing at the screen before sliding it into my pocket.
“You sure?” he said, looking down at his fingers as they tapped against his thigh.
“That was what I said, didn’t I?”
“Yup,” he said, taking a sip of his beer.
We were sitting inside the club, sipping beers and waiting on Evan to finish his counting of the monthly books. It was a calm day. No bikes to repair, no cars in the rig. We sat watching the TV, though there wasn’t much on. Ace and Dead Shot were playing pool across the room. It was nice seeing their new vests; the leather was still clean.
The door opened and Luke looked over his shoulder to see who was coming in while I continued sipping my beer.
“Who’s that?” he said.
I turned to see a face I didn’t need and yet wanted to see. Big, brown eyes, wavy hair, and arms crossed under pert tits, begging to be sucked. I tipped my bottle back, gulping down the rest of the beer before slamming it down on the counter. “Nobody.”
I speed walked to Molly and pulled her out the door by the arm. I didn’t have to, but I wanted to touch her. It was so satisfying, feeling her soft skin under my fingertips.
“What are you doing here?” I hissed, trying to keep my voice down.
“What does it look like I’m doing here?”
“I don’t give a shit what it looks like, Molly. You need to go,” I said, dragging her to her ugly, red Civic.
“I’m not going anywhere until we talk.”
“We already talked, sweetheart. Ain’t nothing else to say,” I said, my anger resurfacing. Every feeling I tried to suppress for this woman came back, fresh like she’d picked all my scabs.
“Is that what you think?”
“It’s what I know. Now get out of here,” I said, pushing her a little too roughly to her car.
“I ain’t going nowhere!”
“Open this door and get in.”
“No!”
“If you don’t lower your damn voice, I will take you over my knee and spank you my damn self.”
“Oh,” she purred, “is that a promise?”
I would be lying if I said m
y dick didn’t jump for joy. Why did I have to say that? Now the image of spanking her pert, pink cheeks was stuck in my head.
“Damn it, Molly. This is not a game.”
“No. It’s not, Ethan. I’m not playing. You are going to talk to me.”
“We already talked,” I said, opening her door for her.
“Ethan, listen! Please. I know you think this can’t be resolved, but will you just trust me?” Something in her tone made me look into her eyes and they were practically begging. “Please? Will you just give me a chance and listen to me? That’s all I’m asking.”
“Who’s that, Ethan?” Luke said, standing just outside the front door of the club. I rolled my eyes, partly irritated by his nosiness, but I couldn’t be mad. He was just a brother looking out for a brother.
“Nobody,” I said pulling her roughly to her car door. I watched Luke stand wordlessly at the door, making no move to go back inside.
“Okay,” I said relenting to what I really wanted anyway. Stuck between a rock and a hard place. I didn’t want Luke figuring out who she was and I didn’t need to open myself up to anymore of her lies, but some part of me needed to hear the truth. I needed to know why, and some part of me wanted to listen to what my mom had said. “Ten minutes. That’s all you get.”
“That’s all I’m asking,” she said, sighing and starting the car. Against my better judgment, I walked around to the passenger side and slid in beside her.
“Drive.”
“Where to?”
“Anywhere but here.”
She drove and I watched Luke and the club house disappear in the rear mirror. I had a lot of explaining to do when I got back.
“I never deceived you. This wasn’t some ploy Casper schemed up. He’s a sick bastard, I’ll give you that, and he runs the Skulls, but I’m not one of them anymore. I haven’t been back here since I was sixteen.”
I couldn’t help the heaviness I felt in my chest. She was still lying. “You expect me to believe that?”
“It’s true!”
“Molly, look at me.” She glanced at me quickly since the roads weren’t entirely clear. “Do I have the word stupid written on my face?”
She huffed. “No!”
“Then what the hell makes you think I would believe you’re suddenly not one of them anymore? Clubs are for life! You don’t just get out ‘cuz you don’t want to be down anymore, and with that skull on your head! They would have made you tat over it. So stop lying.”
She was quiet for a few moments too long and I knew it wasn’t over yet. She hadn’t told me the full truth. She still had more to say. “I got a lot more leeway than the average club member.” I didn’t bother asking why. It would come out soon enough. “Casper let me leave without any consequences because… I’m his daughter.”
I slapped the dashboard so hard I’m surprised the airbag didn’t come out. “Are you fucking kidding me? You just keep making it worse! You were better off being a member of the Skulls!” Everything in me screamed to get out of the car. I was practically signing my own death certificate riding in the same car with this girl.
“I haven’t seen or spoken to my father in years. I’m out! I swear. The only reason I came back was because Paulie said he was in the hospital.”
I tried hard to remain stoic. I wasn’t guilty. Sure, I landed her pops in the hospital, but it was what he deserved. He had it coming. She didn’t need to know it was me. She had her secrets. I had mine.
“My entire life, I’d never known my father to go to a hospital. Not when he was shot. Not when my mom stabbed him for calling her a whore. And not when I was in there for some shit he did. He doesn’t go to any hospitals. But Paulie said he was there, so I came.” Some part of me was satisfied knowing I’d sent his ass there and another part of me felt like punching whoever this Paulie was. I had the sneaky suspicion that wasn’t a girl’s name.
“That’s it. There’s no more to it. I saw my dad and I thought maybe he’d change, but he hasn’t. He’s the same asshole he was years ago. We have no ties. None. I can’t change the fact that I’m his daughter. I can’t change the fact that I have this Skull tat on my head or the fact that I can’t get you off my mind.”
She can’t get me off her mind? Nice to know she’s going through the same hell I’m going through.
“I swear to you, I haven’t had any ties to the Skulls since I was sixteen. I quit the club after a run went bad. They blew up The Crows’ home base because they’d intercepted a shipment of guns and it put me in the hospital. I burned up my back and crashed my bike. I decided I was better off away from them and left. I haven’t been back since then and I haven’t ridden a bike up until you took me to the cliffs. I saw your cut when we were in the club, but I didn’t know who you were. I didn’t pick you out or target you. I just thought you were sexy and wanted to have sex with you. I thought we would be a quick, one-night stand, which was why I didn’t say anything. I was only in town for the night and I thought I’d never see you again, but something changed. When I saw you at the meeting, I just knew something was different about you, and I was right.”
She stopped and took a deep breath before continuing.
“Every time after that, I thought about telling you, but I didn’t see a point. I’m not with them. I just got the bad luck of sharing blood with Casper. There’s no allegiance. I’m just a normal girl who works in Flagstaff. I’m a social worker. I like romantic comedies. I think global warming is real. You can ask any of my friends and they will tell you I’m no liar. You can ask me anything, but I swear, I’m telling you the truth.”
“So? Say you are telling the truth, what does that mean for you and me?” I asked. I could hear the optimism and desperation in her voice, but it was useless. There was no reason to be optimistic. I’m a realist. I knew what she didn’t want to accept. We couldn’t be together.
“It means we can be together. It means there can be a you and me. I don’t care what you do in your club. I know your shit stinks as bad as the Skulls. I know it’s not all roses and candy around here. I’m smart. It doesn’t take a genius to piece together the fact that you probably had something to do with my dad ending up in the hospital. But I still don’t care.”
She leaned over the console and grabbed my hand.
“I don’t care, Ethan. I don’t know about you, but being with you was different.” She pulled my hand to her heart, “I felt different when I was with you and I really am starting to care for you and if,” she stopped suddenly and licked her lips. “If you feel even a little of what I feel for you – just will you please just tell me? Just say so. I can’t just walk away knowing I didn’t try.”
Everything in me wanted to lie. I didn’t need this shit on my mind. This was trouble if I ever heard it, but her honesty touched me in places I didn’t know I could feel. Truthfully, every word she said I understood. I understood her addiction and I understood her love. I did feel different when we were together. It was more than sex. It was something more and I was afraid to name it. My thoughts raced as I looked out the window. I hadn’t noticed, but her thumb rubbing over my knuckles kept me calm. It was the calmest I’d felt since we broke up. I hadn’t even known she still had my hand.
“It doesn’t have to be perfect and we don’t have to be together, but I just want you. Say something. Please don’t tell me this is one-sided.”
“It’s not one-sided.”
“Do you feel something?”
“I do.”
“Are you willing to try?”
“I am.”
“Okay.” She sighed heavily, as if a weight had been lifted off her shoulders. “That’s all I needed to hear.”
“Drive,” I said, relaxing into the seat.
“Where to?” she asked, starting the car.
“Your house.”
I saw her smile before I closed my eyes.
“How long is the ride?”
“Little under an hour,” she said sweetly.
“All
right. Wake me when we’re there.”
She reached over and held my hand, “I will.”
Chapter 14
Molly
I drove every minute of the almost-hour it took to get to my house on pins and needles. I glanced to the right so often I was giving myself a headache, but the view never changed. He was still right beside me, holding my hand. I liked his face when he was sleeping. He looked more like the man I met, carefree and bound for trouble. I pulled up to my driveway and shook my head at the man sitting on my porch. I parked and jumped out of my car in time to see Ethan see the emblem stitched boldly on Paulie’s back. The Skulls.
“What the hell is he doing here?” Ethan said muscles tensing in front of me. I cut him off before he could get close enough to break Paulie’s face.
“I don’t know,” I said, shaking my head at Paulie’s prowling figure in front of my door. “But I’ll take care of it.”
I turned to Paulie, holding out both my hands in surrender. I didn’t need him to say a word because if there was one thing I knew that would get me in trouble, it was Paulie’s big mouth.
“Paulie, don’t say anything before you ruin the shred of friendship we have left. Just leave. I don’t want to know why you’re here. So just go,” I said, holding my hand up, hoping it would stop him.
“Really, Molly. That’s what you’re going to say? Don’t say anything? Don’t say anything? I’ll say what I damn well please. What the hell are you doing with him? You hanging with this kind of scum? Do you know anything about loyalty? Come on. You don’t know a thing about loyalty if you go with him. Let’s go before you embarrass yourself even more.” He held his arm out like I was supposed to just go to him and forget all the things we’d been through or everything he’s said.
“No.”
“No?” he said, his lips curling.
“You heard what she said. She said no. So take your ass somewhere else, skull boy,” Ethan said, stepping in front of me.
