by Dawn Doyle
“Besides…” Kerry moved closer and turned so her back was to the rest of the students at the bar. “…Beck saw the whole thing. Don’t look!” she added as Raven began to turn.
Raven’s stomach bottomed out. The last time he’d seen one of the more popular students ask her out, he'd found it amusing, but he was also serious. It had her baffled and she’d lost her concentration for the rest of the day.
“I have to study for my assignment, and I need to call my mom to arrange my ride home,” Raven lied. “I’m sorry, but I don’t have time.”
Neil Jeffries, a senior, had asked Raven out near the end of junior year.
“We don’t have to go far, Raven. Just to the Green Bridge. We can go back to my dorm afterwards,” he grinned.
I don’t think so.
“No, Neil. Thanks, but like I said, I have things to do and I don’t want to go to your dorm anyway.”
“We could go to yours?” he asked, raising his eyebrows.
“I said no!” she said sternly. “I don’t want to, so please stop asking!”
“Suit yourself,” he sneered and left.
“Doesn’t Neil do it for you, Raven?” Beck asked after she’d said goodbye to Ava.
Typical Beck waiting for her to be alone before he started on her.
“No. Not that that’s any of your business,” she spat as she headed to E-studies.
The hairs on her arms stood on end when Beck approached, but her spine tingled when he walked alongside her.
“True, but I was just asking. You weren’t happy with him asking you out.”
“How the fuck do you know what he said? We’re you spying on me? Just waiting for something to happen so you can throw it back in my face?” she cried.
“I wasn’t spying, Raven. I’d just come out of Stats class. If anything, you were where I already was; not the other way around.”
Raven clenched her teeth so she wouldn’t scream at him. The smug look on his face needed wiping off, but the way his eyes sparkled when he looked at her had her melting on the spot.
She looked away quickly, her face flaming.
“So… no to Neil?”
“Oh dear God,” she groaned. “Yes.”
“Yes, meaning no to Neil? Or yes meaning yes to Neil?” he asked, trying not to smile at his own question.
“It means no to Neil! What is wrong with you Beck?” she whisper shouted as students walked by.
“Nothing,” he looked around, then back to her. “Don’t do anything you don’t want to,” he growled, stepping closer as he lowered his voice further. “Ok?”
“I won’t.”
“I mean it, Raven. There are people worse than me here, and don’t let them pressure you into doing something you don’t want to do.”
“Ha! Says you.”
“Seriously? Do I ask you to do things with me? Do I ask you to go places with me? No I don’t. Suggesting is not the same as asking. You have options, Raven. Just make sure you choose the options that you pick, not somebody else.”
Raven took a shaky breath when she felt his heat radiating from his body to hers. Her nipples stood to attention, and she was grateful of his nearness because he was unable to see them protruding from where he stood.
“You’re a goody-goody for a reason,” he breathed into her ear. His lips grazed the shell of her ear, making her squeak.
Raven watched Beck’s back as he disappeared out of the building, checking out his ass as he went.
It was a few minutes before she found the use of her legs to go into the lecture room.
*****
“Don’t you like Finn?” Kerry asked when the song came to an end, and they left the dance floor.
“He’s good-looking, yes, but I don’t feel anything for him,” Raven explained, sipping her fruit cocktail through her straw.
“Did you feel anything for Cole?” Ava pumped her eyebrows.
“Ava!” she almost choked. “He was nice. I’ve known him for a while, and he’s also good-looking.”
“So the sex put you off?”
“Not just that.”
“Then what?”
“I don’t know. Everything seemed to be ok. We got along, as usual, but I thought that going to that next step would improve things. It really didn’t.”
“So how did he get you going? He must have done it for you at first.” Leila asked, listening intently.
I thought about Beck, and I was ready.
Raven took the straw out of her drink and gulped the rest as she finally realized how she’d managed to get aroused with Cole.
“Raven? Are you ok?”
“Yeah,” she mumbled, wiping her mouth. She quickly applied another coating of gloss in place of the one she’d wiped and took a calming breath.
“Shit,” Kerry muttered, lowering her head.
“What?” Raven turned and saw Kato walking towards her. His eyes fixed on her.
She’d told the girls about Kato asking her out again, but she didn’t expect him to want to speak to her after the show in Economics class.
“Can I talk to you?” he asked, annoyed.
“What about?” she asked, not wanting to leave the safety of the girls. She could already feel her hands shaking, but it wasn’t from nervousness. It was from anger.
“Away from an audience,” he said in a clipped tone as his eyes darted quickly to the girls.
As he did that, Raven looked over his shoulder. Beck was looking right at her.
Their eyes locked, and she couldn’t look away.
He didn’t smile or wink, as he usually did. Instead, she could see the muscles in his jaw flexing with pressure.
“Him again?” Kato asked, snapping Raven out of her trance. Kato had looked to see what her eyes were glued to.
“What?”
“Beck. Every fucking time, he gets in my way.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” She narrowed her eyes.
“Yeah you do, Raven. I asked you out a while ago, and all you could do was look at him. Yesterday, I asked you out, then when you said no, there he was again. In class…”
Oh no. Here we go.
Raven could feel her anger rising. It was reaching a crucial point, and she didn’t want it to spill over. Especially with an audience in the small bar.
“…He rubbed it in my face that he was doing it too.”
“Kato, Beck hasn’t been in your way; I have,” she explained. “I said no. I’m the one who made the decision. That had nothing to do with Beck.”
“Really? So showing me up like that in class had nothing to do with him?”
“He wasn’t showing you up! He was talking to me, and he saw you looking. He commented, yes, but he never did anything else.”
“You’re sticking up for him now? After everything he’s done to you?”
“He’s done nothing to me, Kato,” she snarled between her teeth.
Raven was furious. She glanced over his shoulder and sure enough; Beck was pissed. He wasn’t making a move to approach them, but somehow, Raven knew that if Kato laid a finger on her, Beck would wipe the floor with his ass. He’d rescued her from Bobby who was just fresh from high school, but Kato was a senior. Beck wouldn’t hold back.
“You know what, Raven?” Kato sneered as he saw her looking to Beck again. “I think you want to fuck him, badly.”
Raven’s eyes widened, and a white hot flash ran through her. Her eyes burned into him, and she used every ounce of control she had to remain still.
“He’s already fucked you hasn’t he?” he laughed. “That’s it. He’s fucked you good.”
Raven lost the tiny scrap of restraint she had and raised her hand. She pulled back, clenched her fist and let it fly. It connected with Kato’s nose, which crunched under her knuckles. His head flew back, and he howled in pain, blood running out of his nostrils.
She didn’t stop there.
She lifted her leg and kicked her heel into his shin, making him scream out. He l
ifted his leg up to cradle it.
“Bitch!” he spat through the blood and tears.
“Don’t you ever speak to me like that again! In fact, don’t ever speak to me at all!” she screamed.
“Jeez, Raven,” Ava gripped her arm and pulled her back away from Kato
“I’ll rip off your balls and ram them down your throat you fucking asshole!” she added.
Ava pulled Raven back, with the help of Kerry and Leila who were looking at her as though she was crazy.
For those few seconds, she was. Kato had not only accused Beck of coming between them, but then his jealousy filled comment had sent her over the edge. She’d seen red.
“Take deep breaths, Ray-Ray,” Ava said softly, smoothing her hand over her hair. “That idiot’s gone now.”
“You did a number on him there, Ray,” Kerry said, a worried look in her eyes.
“That was one hell of a punch, girl,” Leila added, nodding her head.
“I’m so sorry, I don’t know what came over me,” Raven apologized, her head in her hands. “He went too far, and I couldn’t stop myself. He got me so mad that I…Oh God.” She groaned.
It had happened in front of everybody. The close ones would’ve heard everything, but she was positive the whole place had turned to see the ‘fight’.
Raven looked up in time to see Ava shift her eyes back to her. She looked over her shoulder to see what she’d been looking at.
Donnie was talking to Beck. He looked angry, but it seemed as though Donnie was stopping him from leaving the bar.
Kato was in big trouble.
“Here,” Leila said, placing a cold compress on her hand. “Tina from behind the bar said to use this.”
It was a small towel with ice cubes inside. It felt nice against her knuckles.
“I need a drink…or three,” Raven said moving towards the bar.
The girls agreed, and Raven got their next round.
“Hey,” Beck’s voice came from beside her. “Are you ok?”
“I’m just peachy!” she said happily holding up her glass of peach schnapps and sucking from the straw.
“Are you ok?” he asked again, his voice lowering in seriousness.
“I’m fabulous,” Raven said, trying to match his masculine tone.
“Raven, I’m asking because I need to know whether he hurt you.”
The look in his eyes warmed her heart, but she wasn’t going to show him that. Ava had said she shouldn’t. He should just ‘do what he’s gotta do.’
“What? No. Did you see the state of his face?” Raven made a splat sound as she spread her hands out across her nose.
“I did. What did he say to you?”
“Um…” she looked up and tapped her chin with her finger as though in thought. “Ava…” she turned to talk to her. The girls were gone. “Traitor!” she shouted.
“Can you please answer me?” The urgency in his tone piqued her interest.
“Why? What would you do if I told you he said nasty things to me? Nasty things about you?”
“I don’t give a shit what he says about me.”
“Well I do,” she said before she could stop herself. The alcohol had loosened her tongue somewhat.
“You do?” His head cocked to the side.
“Yes. He said that you were coming between us, and getting in his way.”
She conveniently left out the part that her blood had boiled when Kato had spoken badly about him.
“What?” He looked puzzled.
“Yes, didn’t you hear?” Beck shook his head. “Well I did as you ‘suggested’,” she held her fingers up in emphasis. “I told him it was my decision and had nothing to do with you.”
Beck’s mouth tightened.
“Nothing?” he said through his clenched jaw.
“Why would it? Like you said, don’t do anything I don’t want to do. I didn’t want to, so I said no. That was all me.”
Beck nodded but cast his eyes down. “So you’re ok?”
“I’m fine.”
His head was down, but his eyes shot up to meet hers, and her center sparked.
Just one look is all it takes now? Please help me!
“You look fine in that dress,” he purred. Quickly peeking down at her body.
The corner of his mouth curled up, and then he was gone. Leaving Raven standing there with her mouth hanging open.
As soon as Beck had left the bar, the girls rushed over.
“This is getting ridiculous now,” Raven chastised them. “You keep leaving me on my own!”
“You’re a grown woman, Ray. You don’t need us to back you up. You’ve been doing pretty fine on your own, and from what the whole bar has seen, you can look after yourself too.”
“This is going from bad to worse,” she whined. “I should’ve stayed in.”
They lasted only a few more minutes before calling the taxi to take them back to their dorms. Students were talking and looking at them, and Raven wanted to get out of there.
Feeling dizzy from the alcohol, Raven got into the cab with the girls and took the shoes off her aching feet.
*****
Getting back to the dorms, the girls showered their night away. Raven dressed in a plain tee and yoga pants, and Ava dressed in her PJ’s.
Kerry and Leila came back to their dorm to hang out.
They were all still pretty tipsy, and their conversations soon turned to guys and their relationship disasters.
Raven wasn’t in the mood, so she just listened to their stories.
She didn’t have anything worth mentioning either. Just Cole, and they already knew about him.
The girls were laughing as they were talking about the guys that they’d dated on campus.
Ava spilled about the time she dated few guys who were friends. She didn’t realize it would come back to bite her in the ass, until she found out that they’d been comparing notes about her. That’s when she decided not to date guys from the same group. It was her own fault, though. She’d had a crush on all three of them and had agreed to date all three. None of them had told the other until one of them confessed that he’d slept with her. Then they’d discussed it at length. She’d learned her lesson the hard way.
Raven snorted a laugh when Kerry told them about the time she’d slept with a guy who had a star wars duvet on his bed. She hadn’t realized he was even a fan until she went into his room. He proudly showed off his collection, and when they’d finally gotten down to it, he said he was going to enter her with his light saber. Not good. She’d had to kiss him to shut him up. She didn’t go out with him again.
“I know we said we wouldn’t, but I heard that Beck is an incredible fuck.” Kerry said with a sigh. “I could do with a serious pounding right now.”
Raven ears picked up…a lot. Her heart kicked up speed, and she felt herself glare at Kerry.
What the fuck? Kerry thought about having sex with Beck? Since when?
Even though that thought hurt more than it should, Raven agreed. She needed an orgasm. A decent one, too but the thought of any of her friends with Beck, even talking about him like that, turned her stomach.
“I know, right? One girl apparently said that he fucked her so hard she had bruises.” Ava said, nodding her head.
Ava what the hell..?
“I heard another one said she couldn’t walk properly for days.” Leila added.
What the fuck? Are they purposely trying to piss me off?
Raven didn’t want the details of Beck’s sexcapades, especially from her friends, but she’d often wondered what that’d be like. Being taken so much it was uncomfortable to walk. Obviously the girls didn’t mind, or they wouldn’t have been telling anybody about it. It made Raven sick just thinking about them.
“He doesn’t mind where he is either. Apparently, a while ago, he was led into a girls’ bedroom and fucked her over her friends’ bed. He didn’t even care.”
Raven could feel the anger rising inside of her like it had w
ith Kato. Her friends were talking about Beck the way the other girls did. That wasn’t like them. Sure they’d stuck up for her when he’d approached her when they were there, but to hear them talk like that…she didn’t like it one little bit, and she had a feeling that if they didn’t stop, they’d find out just how much she didn’t.
She clamped her mouth shut. If they saw how mad she was getting, they’d jump all over it.
“I know I’ve said this before, but I wonder what he does to them? I mean he won’t let anybody kiss him. What does he do beforehand? Does he just take off their clothes and screw them?” Ava asked. “That wouldn’t feel good. I know I need a little make out warm up to get going.”
“Apparently he doesn’t even bother taking their clothes off,” Kerry winked. “Nobody has seen his body.”
Raven clenched her fists. It was as if she weren't even there. They were usually sensitive with details of Beck around her, knowing what he’d been doing to her for years. She knew about the ‘essentials’ part, but there was no need for them to discuss it right in front of her.
Maybe it was the alcohol in her system making her emotional. She’d be ok once she sobered up…wouldn’t she?
“Well..” Leila said with a grin “He’ll let the girls kiss him in other places,” the girls giggled, “and I’m pretty sure he lets his hands do the kissing for him.”
Even with her inner rage, Raven wondered why the girls kept looking to her every time they mentioned any details. It was as if they were watching for a reaction. What, or who, Beck did was none of her business. Just because it was turning her inside out didn’t make it so.
That didn’t stop them. They continued to tell, check Raven’s expression, then tell some more. She was almost sure they were making half of it up too, just to add fuel to the growing fire.
Her nails were beginning to painfully dig into her palms, and she had to release her hands.
