by Duane Boehm
“He’s not the most confident man around women that I’ve ever seen, I’ll give you that, but you probably ruined him for life. He’ll probably end up a bachelor is my guess. I think a little encouragement would’ve gone a lot further. He’s not really timid by nature and he’s certainly brave. He’s just backward with women. I think he would’ve been fine in time. You can catch more flies with honey than you can vinegar,” Gideon said.
“You really know how to make me feel worse than I already do. How can I fix things?” Joann said.
“I don’t have a clue. You’ll have to figure that one out for yourself. Let’s go check on your mother. I’ll help you with supper,” Gideon said.
Chapter 25
On Friday night, Finnie found himself on his own. Gideon had gone home for the evening and Doc was out at a ranch delivering a baby. The Last Chance was so busy since the demise of the Lucky Horse that Mary had little time to flirt with him during the evening. He had drunk a beer in the saloon, wishing that he had recruited Zack to come to town for the evening. Deciding that it was too late to ride to Zack’s cabin, and tired of the crowd, Finnie walked back to the jail. He had a bottle of whisky stashed there and he felt himself drawn to it like a bee to a blossom. Since becoming a fulltime deputy, he had not touched a drop of whiskey or gotten drunk. Beer did not hold a spell on him and until tonight, he had been content with a mug of it in the evening.
Walking to the ammunition cabinet, he pulled the bottle out from behind the stacked boxes of cartridges. Holding the bottle up to the light, he gazed at it and tried to convince himself that he wouldn’t open it even though he already knew that he would. Uncorking the bottle, he took his first pull. He loved the taste of whiskey and the fuzzy warmth that came with it. Sitting down at Gideon’s desk, he began sipping from the bottle in earnest. After an hour, the bottle sat half–empty. He stared at the whiskey sitting on the desk and self–loathing filled his drunken mind. Once again, he had let Gideon and Mary down and they would be disappointed in him.
Finnie picked up the whiskey and staggered out of the jail. Hurling the bottle against the building, it exploded as shards of glass tingled down onto the sidewalk. He walked back inside, dropped onto the cot, and fell to sleep.
Waking before dawn, Finnie wanted nothing more than to run. He walked to the livery stable and retrieved his horse. Not having any destination in mind, he headed south out of town. The horse’s rough gait jarred his aching head, but he didn’t care. He wanted to pay the penance he deserved.
Gideon arrived at the jail early, surprised not to find Finnie. They had begun a ritual of Finnie having the coffee ready and they would sit around drinking a cup. Doc sometimes would join them. Finnie would then take a walk of the town and once Mary arose, he would join her for more coffee.
Checking the cell room, Gideon then walked outside and saw the broken bottle near the end of the building. He walked towards the glass and caught a whiff of the whiskey before halfway there.
Doc walked across the street. “Is the coffee ready?” he asked.
“I’m afraid not. Finnie is missing and there’s a broken bottle of whiskey,” Gideon said, pointing at the glass. “I have a hunch that he is passed out somewhere. I’ll go check with Mary after she gets up. Come on in and I’ll get a pot started.”
“I thought that maybe this time he had kicked his demon for good,” Doc said.
“Me too. Maybe it’s too much to expect from him. I don’t regret bringing him back. He’s a whole lot better than when I found him, but maybe we have to accept that he’s going to get soaked every now and then,” Gideon said as they walked into the jail.
“You might be able to accept that, but I don’t think Mary ever will and it’s too bad for both of them. They are good for each other and God knows that girl deserves some happiness,” Doc said as he took a seat.
“That she does,” Gideon said as he poured the water for the coffee.
The two men continued talking until Doc had to leave for his first patient. Gideon needed to make a walk of the town and get breakfast for the prisoners. Once he had completed those tasks, he checked the back door of the Last Chance and found it unlocked. He entered to find Mary eating breakfast by herself.
“Good morning. You’re up early,” Gideon said.
“I couldn’t sleep. I should be exhausted. The Lucky Horse closing has been the best thing that has ever happened to this saloon,” Mary said.
“Have you seen Finnie?” Gideon asked.
“No not yet,” she said.
“He’s missing and I found a bottle of whisky smashed against the jail. I guess he must be sleeping it off, but I don’t know where,” he said.
“I’m about down to my last straw with that man. He’s as afraid of happiness as you used to be. I’m sure that he thinks he has a weakness for whiskey, but I know that he has a fear of happiness. He makes sure that he sabotages things so that he can never commit to anything,” Mary fumed.
“I don’t know about that. I think he just has a weakness for whiskey, but whatever the reason, I’m pretty sure he slipped,” Gideon said.
“I don’t know why I ever got myself mixed up with Finnie in the first place. You’d think I’d know by now that men and me mix like oil and water,” she said and pushed her half–eaten breakfast away.
“I’m sorry to have upset you. I just thought that he might be over here,” Gideon said. “I’ll see you later.”
Gideon thought that Mary looked as if she were on the verge of tears. Crying was something that she just did not do. She might have been the strongest woman that he had ever known.
“Everything is fine. I’m a big girl, Gideon. You know that,” Mary said before opening the door to the upstairs and disappearing.
As Gideon walked back to the jail, he wished that he had never stopped in to see Mary. He felt sure that she would have found out anyway, but he wouldn’t have been the bearer of bad news. In the time that he had known her, she had very rarely complained about anything and for her to do so now, betrayed her deep feelings for Finnie.
Gideon reminisced about the part that he had played in Mary’s view of the men in her life. There was little doubt in his mind that Mary had been in love with him back before he became involved with Abby again. He also knew that he would have fallen in love with her if things had turned out differently. He had never regretted his decision, but he did regret that he had hurt her. It seemed to him that people like Mary or Doc always got the short end of the stick when it came to love. He dropped into his desk chair already depressed and the morning barely started.
∞
The farther that Finnie rode, the worse he felt about himself. He was willing to own the fact that he was a drunk and had let his friends down, but he now felt like a coward for running away and not having the courage to say goodbye. At the lowest point in his life, he had never considered himself a coward. More than once he had gone into a fight with the assumption that he would die and had never been swayed, but here he was hightailing it rather than face the people for which he cared.
He stopped at a creek to let his horse drink. Once the horse had its fill, he turned around and headed back towards Last Stand. Upon his return, he planned to say his goodbyes and take his leave without feeling like a coward provided Mary didn’t blow his head off with the shotgun she kept behind the bar.
Finnie arrived back in town just before noon. He tied his horse in front of the jail and went inside the office. Doc and Gideon were inside getting ready to go to lunch.
“Where in the hell have you been? Blackie told me your horse was gone. After lunch, I planned to go look for you. I thought that maybe you were so drunk that you fell off your horse and broke your neck,” Gideon said.
“I’m leaving. I decided that I couldn’t do it without saying goodbye so I came back. I appreciate your and Doc’s friendship, but it is time to move on,” Finnie said.
Gideon popped up out of his seat and ran his hand through his hair. “You mean to
tell me that you’ve come this far and are going to run off now. Even if you continue to get drunk every couple of weeks, you are still a lot better off than you were. At least you aren’t sleeping in horseshit and getting wasted every day. Don’t be foolish.”
“It wouldn’t be fair to Mary and I couldn’t bear to stay around and not see her. I know what I am and I won’t disgrace my friends,” Finnie said.
Doc began rubbing his chin. “Finnie, I lived a lot of years and hopefully gained some wisdom during my time. I’m telling you that running away is a mistake. You are one of us now. This community needs you and you need us. Just take a couple of days to think it through.”
“Doc, I appreciate your kind words, I truly do, but my mind is made. I’m going to tell Mary goodbye and be on my way. Please tell Ethan, Sarah, and Abby that I said goodbye. It’s been my pleasure to get to know them,” Finnie said.
Gideon grabbed his hat. “I’m going with you. Maybe I can wrestle the gun away from her before she kills you.”
The three men walked into the Last Chance and up to the bar to where Mary was bartending.
Before Finnie could say a word, Mary hollered, “Finnegan Ford, I’ve had about all the shenanigans from you that I’m going to put up with.” She grabbed a beer mug and slammed it onto the bar in front of him. She then turned around, grabbed a bottle of her finest whiskey, and filled the glass to the top. Sitting the bottle down, she wrapped her hands around Finnie’s head and pulled him to her, kissing him passionately to a chorus of catcalls from the bar’s patrons. “You can have me or that glass of whiskey, but you can’t have both. You need to figure out which one brings you the most pleasure.”
Mary darted out from behind the bar and exited into the back room, leaving Finnie to endure the whistles and jeers from other customers. He would have bolted for the door, but stayed for fear that someone would see his aroused state.
Finnie eventually walked out of the saloon to a chorus of laughter. He holed up in the jail and stayed there all day. Late in the afternoon, his belly growled loudly from hunger. Gideon had offered to bring him supper before going home, but he refused. Anger and embarrassment had blocked out any need for food until now. He still wasn’t ready to show his face around town, but if his hunger grew worse, he would have no choice.
He was well aware that he could have jumped on his horse and left as he had planned. Mary’s anger had not surprised him, but the ultimatum certainly had. She had succeeded in grabbing his attention and now that she had it, he wasn’t sure what to do about it.
Doc walked into the jail and looked around. “I guess Gideon has gone home. Do you want to go get some dinner?” he said.
“Doc, Mary made me look like a fool. I don’t know if I can face people. I should have just left again,” Finnie said.
“Oh, for crying out loud, you didn’t leave because you didn’t want to go. You stayed for Mary. Just admit it. I’m not going to offer to bring you food like Gideon did. You can either come with me or starve,” Doc groused.
“You’re in an ill mood,” Finnie said.
“Why didn’t you drink the whiskey that Mary poured?” Doc asked, ignoring Finnie’s claim.
“I don’t know. I just didn’t want any,” Finnie said.
“No, you didn’t drink it because you didn’t want to choose whiskey over Mary,” Doc said. “You’ve already made your decision. Now decide if you can stick to it.”
“You don’t know that,” Finnie protested.
“I wish that I was a young man, because you know what I would do? I would steal Joann away from Zack and Mary away from you and I would walk down the street with them on each arm. You two are both pathetic,” Doc said.
“That’s pretty big talk for a lifelong bachelor,” Finnie said, unable to keep from smiling at the doctor’s boast.
“I’m going to go eat. You can come if you want,” Doc said before heading to the door with Finnie following him.
The two men had dinner at the hotel. Neither of them brought up the subject of Mary, but instead talked about the upcoming trial. Doc grabbed the two tickets after they finished eating. “I’m buying today just in case this is your last meal,” he said and smiled for the first time.
Doc and Finnie parted as they left the hotel. As Finnie watched Doc amble back to his office, he realized that the doctor had been right – he had already made his decision. The only thing left to do was to declare it. He walked to the back of the Last Chance and had to unlock the door to enter. The back room stood empty and he sat down at the table.
Finnie had no intention of going into the bar and waited patiently. The door to the stairs opened and Mary entered. She jumped back and let out a shriek of surprise at seeing Finnie sitting in the room.
“You startled me. I wasn’t expecting anyone to be in here. What do I owe this pleasure?” Mary said.
Finnie waited for Mary to sit down and said, “I have something that I want to say to you.”
“I’m listening. Go ahead and talk,” Mary said.
Finnie reached over and took her hand in his. “Mary Sawyer, I promise you that I’ll never take another drink of whiskey as long as I live. You know that I’m a man of my word and I give you my word. I’m not saying that it’ll be easy, but I’ll manage.”
Mary looked coyly at him. She stood up while still holding Finnie’s hand. “I guess I better keep my end of the bargain up then,” she said before leading him up the stairs.
“Don’t you have business that you need to attend to in the bar? It’s Friday night and time for all the ranch hands to get here,” Finnie said.
“Oh, believe me, we have some business that we’re going to attend to,” she said.
Chapter 26
Gideon watched the clock, ready for the afternoon to end and to go home. Nights spent at the jail had grown old and he missed the time spent with the family. The trial couldn’t begin soon enough in his book. Feeding and caring for the prisoners was a thankless job. Finnie did his part, but it all got tiresome.
He needed a break from Finnie also. His friend had been so giddy since swearing off the bottle and making up with Mary that he bordered on annoying. Finnie had been talking up a blue streak to both Doc and him. They had begun the habit of nodding their head in response since there was little opportunity to get a word in anyway. Gideon was happy that Mary’s ultimatum seemed to have done the trick in forcing Finnie to come to the decision that the whiskey had to go and that he seemed totally at peace with himself for the first time since coming to Last Stand, but he had heard enough about it.
Walking into the jail, Finnie said, “I thought that you would have headed for home by now.”
“I’m leaving. I’m tired and I don’t sleep well without Abby anymore. As many nights as I have slept on the cold hard ground, you wouldn’t think that anything would bother me,” Gideon said.
“You’ve gotten spoiled. That’s what a woman will do to you. I hope that I get there too,” Finnie said.
“I think it’s safe to say that you are well on your way,” Gideon said.
“I do thank you for what you’ve done for me. You’ve been a good friend,” Finnie said.
“You’d have done the same for me. I’ll see you in the morning,” Gideon said as he grabbed his hat and headed out the door.
Gideon had retrieved Buck from the stable an hour earlier. He mounted the horse and rode out of town at an easy gait. Joann had promised to make fried chicken for that evening and he looked forward to the meal. He had not eaten that day and his belly growled loudly. Eating in town had grown monotonous. Some days he didn’t bother with food or ate hardtack at his desk.
He had ridden a mile out of town to the area where the land turned brushy and covered in scrub trees. Oblivious to his surroundings, Gideon thought about baby names. Two men in front of him and two men behind him rode out of the brush on either side of the road. All of the men had revolvers aimed at him. He pulled his horse to a stop, resting his hands on the saddle horn. The men
were some of the same crew from the day that he had arrested Starks at his ranch.
“Sheriff, we need you to take us to that ledger,” Hank Starks said.
“You don’t want to do this. That ledger is only one piece of the evidence. You can’t get rid of all of it,” Gideon said.
“Those two whores don’t know anything except about Cal and what Cal knows don’t matter. He’ll be dead, and probably your deputy too, before the night is through,” Hank said.
Swiveling his head to look at the other men, Gideon said. “Do you boys really want to turn to crime for Henry Starks? He doesn’t give a damn about any of you and he wouldn’t offer a hand if you were in trouble.”
“Sheriff, this isn’t about loyalty. It’s about money. What these men are going to be paid for today buys a lot of goodwill,” Hank said.
“And what if I refuse?” Gideon asked.
“I’ve already been by your place today. I saw your pregnant wife and those two pretty girls all outside. The young one had just gotten home from school. I can either take you to them and you can watch them die before I kill you or you can take me to the ledger before I kill you. Either way you are going to die today. You just need to decide on which is more important – your family or the ledger,” Hank said.
“You are one lowdown son of a bitch. Let’s go get the ledger,” Gideon said.
“Eddie, get his guns and take hold of his reins,” Hank said.
“Where are we headed, Sheriff?” Eddie asked.
“To Ethan Oakes’ ranch,” Gideon answered as the men led him away off the road.
Gideon realized that he had made a terrible mistake at placing the ledger in Ethan’s barn. He had convinced himself that his threat to Henry Starks would be enough to prevent this from happening. His lack of planning could get the Oakes family killed and he saw no hope in rectifying the danger.
