by L. P. Maxa
Linc shut and locked her door, sitting down on her couch with his head in his hands. “I wish you were right.”
“I want you to leave.” The words felt bad on her tongue. Her brain wanted him to leave, but her body wanted him to stay.
“I can’t.” He sounded so defeated, so utterly lost.
“I’m sorry, but I can’t be the girl you think I am.” Madden felt the sting of tears but blinked them away. Crying wasn’t who she was, just like forever wasn’t either. “I like my life the way it is.”
He scoffed, throwing his hands out wide. “You think I don’t like mine? My life is golden. I go to the bar and laugh and drink and pick up random chicks whenever I feel like it. I leave at the drop of a hat and go sailing in the Caribbean. I drive too fast and play ball all fucking year. I want to keep living my life, just the way I have been. Just the way I like it. But it’s too late.”
She shook her head. “It’s not.” It couldn’t be. There had to be something they could do. Stop it or reverse it.
Linc let out a humorless laugh. “Those friends of yours explained that shifters mate for life. But did they explain anything else? Did they tell you that if we don’t complete this bond, it’ll hurt us both? We’ll experience actual physical pain, excruciating pain. Did they tell you that I’ll go crazy? I’ll try to hurt my friends. I’ll lose my mind. Did they tell you that if you leave me, if you run, I could die?” Linc stood and crossed the room, standing in front of her. Pleading with her to understand. “This is who I am, Madden. This is my DNA. This is embedded in me so deep that there is no escaping it. I don’t want this for you. I promise you I don’t. But there is nothing I can do.” She bit her lip, his desperation making her tears threaten once again. “You hold my life in your hands.”
She shook her head, taking a few more steps back. “I don’t want it, Linc. I don’t want to own your life, your heart. I wouldn’t know what to do with it. I can’t be someone’s forever. I don’t know how.”
He got down on his knees in front of her and she started to vibrate with emotion. “I’m not asking you to make your decision tonight. I’m asking that you don’t push me away. That you don’t kick me out. Please, baby. I wouldn’t survive it right now.”
She wanted to flee. She wanted to get on the next plane out of Colorado and go to Ireland. New Zealand. Anywhere but where she was currently—standing in her living room with Linc down on his knees, begging her not to destroy him. It was all too much. Too intense. “You can stay here, for tonight.” She needed to think all this through. She didn’t want to be his soul mate, but she refused to be the cause of his pain either. She cared about him; even she couldn’t deny that much. “You can stay on the couch. Will that help?”
Linc nodded and she turned on her heel, leaving him alone. She went into her room and shut the door. She hated that a small part of her ached once that door was closed. She hated that she felt it, felt the connection between them. Was Linc right? Would she actually hurt if he left?
She showered, standing under the hot spray until the water turned cold while Linc’s words played in her head on a constant loop. He would die without her? It would be torture to be apart?
Was that all true?
To be honest, when Madden had learned about shifters she hadn’t really cared all that much. For some reason it hadn’t shocked her—it was sort of no big deal. She had been young and happy and carefree. She loved spending time with those guys. She didn’t give a shit if they were a little different from her. She reveled in it. Now she wondered if what they’d said had been right all along, about her being immune to their charms because she was meant for another. Was it all true because she was always Linc’s?
After she got ready for bed Madden sat down with her back against her door. “Linc?”
“Yeah?”
She wasn’t surprised to find him directly on the other side. She knew he’d be there. “When my friends told me they were shifters, I didn’t care. I wasn’t shocked. I wasn’t scared. Is that because…”
“Because you were made for this life, made for one?”
Madden leaned her head on the door, rolling it to the side. “I never slept with them, with any of them.” She didn’t know why she wanted him to know that, but she had felt compelled to say it again. To make sure he knew without a shadow of a doubt.
“I believe you.”
“Corey and Dom are mated?”
“Yes.” He paused briefly. “And Molly and Keller.”
Madden should have seen it, since she’d been around a few bonded couples in Spain. She knew what it looked like. They moved together, always in sync, never far apart, like protection of each other was second nature. “How did they take it? Molly and Corey, how did they react when they found out?”
“Corey took it like she takes everything that comes her way.”
Madden smiled, picturing Corey watching Dom shift for the first time. “She dove in head first and never looked back?”
He let out a small chuckle. “Exactly. And Molly? She freaked a little, but that was because Keller accidentally claimed her one night and then had to not only tell her he was a shifter, but also that she was his mate.”
She wanted to ask how you accidentally claimed someone, but she figured that was a conversation for another time. “What did you mean when you said it was too late?”
“We’ve been together too many times.” Linc’s voice sounded tired and sad. “The process has already started. The bond is already in motion.”
She heard the unmistakable sound of liquid bubbling in a bottle. “Are you drinking my wine?”
“Yep.” He made a sound that was close to a gag. “We’re out of beer.”
We’re. Was it that simple? He’d decided she was his forever and now everything was we and ours? Would everything between them be that easy? That natural? She’d felt it the other day, felt the ease at being in each other’s company. She thought it’d simply been sexual chemistry. “How is it completed? The bonding?”
“We need to have sex, with nothing between us.”
Nothing between them? “That’s why you kept forgetting the condom.” It hadn’t happened initially; it was only the last day that he’d done that. “So I guess that’s the instinct you keep talking about?”
“Yes.” Another gulp. “I didn’t realize it at first, that you were mine, and then even when I did, I kept ignoring it. Willing it to go away, to not be true. You have to believe me, baby. I never wanted this for myself. Let alone for you.”
That time when he called her baby, she intentionally let it go. It seemed like such an insignificant protest right now. “Does that mean we can keep having sex, as long as you wear one? We can just keep going like we have been and everything will be okay?”
“I don’t know, maybe.” Another gulp, another gag. “Or maybe the pain will set in.”
“Would you ever force me?” Madden cracked the door and grabbed the mostly empty wine bottle from his hands and then shut it again. She downed what was left. “Like rape?”
“No. Never. I’d never hurt you, baby.” Linc’s head thumped against the wood. “But if I see you in pain, I’ll instinctually do whatever I can to stop it. All that matters to me is that you’re okay, always. That’s kind of what happened between Kel and Molly.”
Madden did want him. Even now when she was scared and primed to run, she still wanted him. Pain or no pain, she knew she’d let him in eventually. She was powerless to keep him out. “Baze is a shifter too? And Riley?”
“Most of the baseball team, the dean…This school was built by shifters, for shifters.”
The exhaustion, the weariness in his voice was tugging on her heart. She needed to remember that he hadn’t chosen any of this either. He was a victim of fate, as much as she was really. “Linc, I’m, uh, I don’t know what to say. I never, uh, I never wanted this.”
“Me neither.” She could hear him adjusting his back against the door. “But if it had to be someone, I’m really glad
it’s you.”
His words weren’t all that romantic, but they struck her in the feels nonetheless. They were so much alike, the two of them. Both happy with their carefree existence. Neither with any plans to ever settle down. Their reasons were rooted from different places, but their commitment to non-commitment? Basically the same. “Do you want to sleep in here? With me?”
“Are you ready to complete the bond?” Madden couldn’t mistake the hope in his voice.
“No.”
“Then I think it’s safer if I stay out here, at least for tonight.”
She knew that by “out here” he meant against her bedroom door.
Madden got up and climbed under her covers. They still smelled like Linc. She inhaled deeply; she loved his scent. It was expensive cologne and rich leather. She’d known him for a little over a week and had spent the last three days consumed with him and his sexy body.
She’d had more orgasms than she could count. He made her laugh. He understood her in a way no one else could. He was a loyal friend. Well, mostly loyal. He’d said his friends were more like his family. But what he’d meant was they were his pack, which made them more than family. The shifters in Spain, they were so close. They ate together and lived close, and they never went a day without seeing each other. Corey was already like her family, like her sister. But the rest of them, they would be her family too, her pack.
Was it that simple? Could she just forget everything she thought she’d wanted out of her life, all of her hopes for her future? Throw all her single ways out the window and jump head first into a new, mated life with Linc?
Chapter Nineteen
Linc
Linc fell backward when Madden opened her bedroom door the next morning. He stayed on the floor, looking up at her. “Morning, gorgeous.” He smiled cautiously. Was she still upset? Still freaking out and ready to run? Would she kick him while he was down? She’d grown up best friends with Corey after all.
“Morning.” She stepped over him and then reached for his hand, helping him to his feet. “I was going to be grab some coffee before work. You want some?”
He leaned in and kissed her lips, more than surprised when she let him. He’d missed the fuck out of those sexy lips last night. And his back was killing him. “I need to head home and shower. How about I bring you some to your office?”
She nodded. “Thanks.” She shifted on her feet. “Linc, look, about the bonding…”
He held his hand up, stopping her from saying something that could possibly rip his soul in two. “Give it some time, Madden. Let it sink in. I’m not going anywhere, and right now neither one of us is in any pain.” He didn’t want her to answer because he was terrified she would say no. That thought alone had kept him up to see the sunrise.
He winked, trying hard to be his old flirty self and then left before she could respond. He had to get out of there. She looked so gorgeous. She was wearing black jeans and a blood-red shirt. Red looked good on her with her dark flowing hair. Sexy school nurse? The students at St. Leasing were going to have more spank material…Hold the motherfucking phone. Those little asshats were going to be thinking of his girl while they…Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope.
Madden needed a new job. ASAP.
***
“Hey man,” Linc called as he walked into the apartment he shared with Baze. “You still here?”
Baze came out of his room, shrugging on a windbreaker in their school colors of royal blue and gray. “Yeah, heading out in just a few. How did it go last night?”
Linc sighed as he dropped his keys on the coffee table. “As good as can be expected, I guess. She didn’t kick me out, she asked a bunch of questions. But she didn’t say she was ready.”
“Baby steps. Just because Molly and Corey didn’t really hesitate doesn’t mean that Madden isn’t going to come around.” Baze slapped Linc on the shoulder. “Madden is strong and independent. Not that Corey and Molly aren’t, but Madden, she’s, uh, I don’t know, she’s different than them. You know?”
“I know.” That was one of the things that he liked most about her. She loved her life the way it was. Like he loved his. Madden was happy—she was blissfully happy in her own skin. Mmmmm, her skin. Her perfect, soft, edible skin. Last night had been hard. Hell, he’d been hard, all damn night. He wanted her. He always wanted her. And for the last three days he’d had her, often. So going without hadn’t been pleasant. “Look, about the contract.”
Baze let out a laugh. “You really think I bought your act Friday night? I know you Linc. I knew you guys were going home together.”
“I’m sorry I lied. I’m sorry I went back on my word.”
“It was a bar napkin contract. And it wouldn’t have mattered anyway, right? You would have ended up with Madden one way or another.” Baze headed toward the door but then spun around. “Hey, what about those shifters Madden knows? The ones in Spain? Seems strange that they would just tell her what they were like that.”
“They probably assumed she knew. I mean I’m sure they all tried to bag her, and when it didn’t work they probably figured the same thing we’ve learned. Unaffected by a shifter? You’re most likely meant for one. Plus, Madden’s just that girl, you know? She doesn’t judge, she doesn’t freak out.”
Baze nodded. “Makes sense I guess.”
“I’m going to get showered and then go grab some coffee. You want?”
“Nah, I’ve got to get campus. I have a shit ton of paperwork that Dom asked me to do last week.” Baze huffed, like he was irritated as shit that he had to get it done. Baze loved baseball, and he loved coaching. But pretty much everything else about their jobs annoyed the shit out of him.
After Baze left, Linc hopped in the shower. He thought of nothing but Madden the whole time. Baze was right; just because Molly and Corey didn’t blink an eye before accepting their bondings didn’t mean Madden wouldn’t eventually come around. She needed time to sort everything out in her head. Maybe things would be different for them? Maybe they could keep seeing each other, keeping banging—he wrinkled his nose at the crass term, but fuck if he’d call it making love—and everything would be okay.
Maybe there was a way for him to make this right for her and give her the space she needed.
Chapter Twenty
Madden
Physicals started that week and Madden wasn’t really looking forward to them. She had spent years working as a trauma nurse all over the world. She loved the excitement that came with the unexpected. High school physicals? Monotony at its most boring. Why had she taken this job? Because she also loved to travel and experience new things. She’d never lived in Colorado, never worked at a high school. Would all the adventure end if she mated with Linc? Would he want her to stay home, have kids? Cook his dinner and clean his house? He already admitted to wanting a maid. Would that become her? Was she destined to be her mother, no matter how hard she fought against it? She shivered. The thought alone terrified her.
“Miss Madden?”
She looked up. “Riley? Hey, what—”
She was cut off when he stumbled into her room. She caught him in her arms right before he went down. He ended up hitting his head on her desk before she could turn them as they both went down. His dead body weight had knocked the air from her lungs. Quickly, she climbed out from under him, assessing him for injuries. He had a large bump on his head where he’d hit the desk, and a cut above his eye that needed a few stitches. She lifted his shirt and saw several bruises on his torso.
“Riley? Riley, can you hear me?”
His voice was barely a whisper when he answered her. “Call Linc or Baze. Don’t let Corey find out.” He coughed, wincing in pain while attempting to hold his side.
She checked his pulse and then grabbed her blood pressure cuff of the shelf. She needed to make sure she didn’t need to call an ambulance first. “What the hell happened? Did you get in a fight? Is there some other kid lying in a gutter somewhere?” She knew how tough shifters were. If he’d been in
a fight with an average human, they’d probably need a body bag, not a stretcher.
“No.” Riley shook his head, trying to clear his throat. “No. He jumped me.” He was so hoarse, she wondered if he’d been choked at some point during the encounter.
“What? Who?”
“Just call Linc. Please.” She could barely make out what he was saying. His voice was a rough whisper.
Madden ran her hands up and down his legs, checking for breaks. “Riley, you almost passed out. You could have a concussion, I think you need to go to the hospital.”
“No. I can’t. I heal too fast. Just call the guys.”
Madden was leaning over Riley, her hands on either side of his head. His voice was so soft and full of pain it was hard to hear him unless she put her ear by his mouth. Which was why she was caught completely off guard when Linc grabbed her around the waist, hauling her off the floor and growling down at the bleeding and broken kid.
Madden struggled in his hold, but it was useless, he was too strong. “Linc.” What the hell was his prob—the bond. “Linc.” She reached up and slapped him across the face. “Look at him.” She pointed down to Riley, her tone commanding and pissed. “He’s hurt. He needs my help. You have to let me go.”
“Sorry, I, uh…” Linc’s hold weakened and he sat her back on her feet. He kneeled down next to Riley, looking up at her. “What in the hell happened to him?”
“I don’t know. He came in here and pretty much collapsed. He needs a few stitches in that cut and I think he has a concussion.” She put her hands on her hips, her voice still strained. She was angry, but now wasn’t the time to hand Linc his ass. “He said he was jumped, and not to tell Corey.”
Linc picked Riley up like he was a feather and sat him on a bed in the corner of her office. “Will you text Baze from my phone?” He pulled it from his St. Leasing hoodie pocket and handed it to her. “Tell him, nine-one-one, nurse’s office. Come alone.”
Madden quickly did what he asked then grabbed some ice and gauze and went to patch up Riley. She slid across the floor on the coffee Linc had no doubt thrown to the ground when he’d pulled her from Riley. She sighed but set about cleaning up the poor kid’s cut and used a liquid bandage to stop the bleeding. Then she placed the ice against his bump. “He has a few broken ribs.”
