She did not see Carl in the crowd and she began to relax and enjoy herself as one man after the other spun her around on the floor. Alex did not ask her to dance and she was alternately relieved and disappointed. Part of her longed to be closer to him while another part knew it was a terrible idea.
He mostly stuck to the shadows. Important men of the ton were always near him but he hardly moved.
As the dance began to thin and Rose’s feet hurt from the dancing, she moved towards her father in the crowd. She was escorted by Nick who had asked for a second dance. He was a shy but handsome young man. Rose didn’t think he had any real intentions towards her, but the families had known one another for a long time.
Suddenly Carl was next to her. He grabbed her arm in an unyielding grasp. “Having fun?”
Rose recoiled from his touch. She could smell spirits on his breath. Nick was between them in an instant. “I must ask you to take your hand off―“
“Don’t you tell me what― You!“ Carl’s angry voice snarled.
A hand was at her waist in an instant. She turned to see Alex next to her. “Me. Nice to see you again, Mr. Lundberg.”
“I need to speak to Lady Rose alone.” Carl’s face was set in rigid angry lines.
“That isn’t going to happen.” Alex drew himself up.
“It’s quite all right, Mr. Cross. Mr. Lundberg and I will just step over here to talk.” Her hand rested for a moment on Alex’s chest. She wanted to tell him, without words, that she was ready for this and that she would do the right thing. Though she was exceedingly glad to know he was here if she needed him. Though she had only know Alex a short time, she felt safer with him than anyone else.
She walked ten feet from Alex, enough that she and Carl could speak privately but Alex was still close by and in plain view.
“Why are you dancing with other men?” His face was close to hers and she wanted to recoil at the smell of his breath and the sight of the rigid angry lines of his face. How could she have ever thought she loved this man?
“It’s a dance. Why are you two hours late?”
“I was thinking about our current situation and our future. Are we getting married, Rose?” His hand grasped tightly around her elbow again and she took a half step back.
“I…I’m,” she took a deep breath. “No, I will marry as my father wishes.”
He leaned his face very close to hers. “What if I got rid of your father for good? Would you marry me then?”
Rose wanted to vomit as his words shattered any shred of feelings she had for him. This was her beloved parent. Her rock in this world even though he drove her mad sometimes. Any dream of heroic soldiers also shattered. This man was a cold-hearted snake. “I would never…”
“You will. You made a promise to me and I have banked my future on you. One way or another…“
Rose glanced desperately at Alex. He was only a few feet away now. He must have sensed her need to get away from Carl even before she could call to him for help. In an instant, he was at her side. Nick followed close behind.
“You’re done,” Alex growled out.
“I’m far from done,” Carl snarled back.
“You’re a fool who doesn’t understand the first thing about love.”
“Rose will be mine. Neither you nor her father will stop me. Rose has promised herself to me and all that she has, will be mine.” With that, Carl released her arm and stomped out of the dance hall.
Closing her eyes, Rose took a deep breath. His words sent a chill down her spine. Alex’s hand reached out and gently grasped her arm. “Worry not, we won’t allow him to touch you. That I can promise.”
“I will lend you any assistance you need Your―“ Nick started but Alex held up his hand.
Rose cocked her head at his words but then something else caught her attention. Annabelle White stood looking at Alex with a mixture of fear and loathing plastered on her face as she openly stared at his scar. Alex caught sight of her and his own look went from soft to pained.
Rose wanted to stamp her foot at that silly girl and tell her to go bother someone else. Annabelle had always been a foolish, silly girl. Then she wanted to kiss Alex’s scar away. Impossible, she knew.
“Miss White, a pleasure to see you again, have you met our dear friend, Mr. Cross?” While her words were polite, Rose’s tone held her contempt.
“Oh… no…. quite all right. A pleasure. If you’ll excuse me.” And Annabelle disappeared into the crowd.
The pained expression on Alex’s face did not diminish and Rose, not knowing how else to comfort him, reached out and squeezed his hand. It was bold, indeed, for such a public setting but his suffering pulled at her heartstrings and she doubted anyone would notice, except for Nick, who was unlikely to gossip about her.
Alex gave her a small smile. “It’s growing late. Let’s find your father.”
Giving a single nod, she said her farewell to Nick and then placed her gloved hand in the crook of his arm. He said little and she allowed him time with his own thoughts. She sensed that he was a man who liked silence when he was thinking, much like her father.
The crowd had thinned considerably and it was easy to find her parent. The trio soon left the hall. It was a forty-five minute carriage ride back. Tomorrow she would talk to her father and tell him about Carl’s threats and how she had decided to go forward with the duke. While she would not promise to marry him, she could at least meet him and reserve judgement until she knew what kind of man he was.
She glanced at Alex. Perhaps, her fiancé would be as welcome a surprise as Alex had been. Rose settled in, resting her head against the frame of the window. If the trip to the dance was any indicator, there would be very little conversation. She wondered again if something had happened between her father and Alex.
She smiled to herself. Her father wasn’t an easy man to get along with. He wanted everything as he wanted it with very little regard for others.
As the silence stretched out, Rose grew drowsy. She was on the verge of falling asleep when she heard the distinct sound of a snore. Sitting up, she opened her eyes. Alex gave her a wicked grin and pointed at her father. She turned her head to see him, mouth open, sound asleep next to her.
Stifling a giggle, so as not to wake him, she looked at Alex again. He motioned for her to join him on the other seat. Carefully gathering her skirts, she moved slowly off the bench. She inched her feet forward not wanting to bump or rustle anything.
Alex reached for her hand and draped the fabric of her skirt over his arm to settle her next to him on the seat. Rose’s body warmed at the gesture and her breath caught. It was the most intimate thing she had ever done with a man, allowing him to handle her clothing in such a way. Gently setting down her skirts, his arm came around her waist and his lips came to her ear. Slowly, softly, he whispered, “I’ve wanted to tell you all night how ravishing you look.”
His breath tickled the sensitive skin along her neck and it tingled. Softly, she responded, “So do you.”
“You don’t mean that.” His breath no longer tickled her ear as he moved away from their embrace. She could have cried in frustration, his touch, this closeness was making her body hum in ways she had never experienced before. Her gloved hand met his cheek. Taking a breath, she tried to calm her nerves. Though she had promised herself to be more responsible, this was a moment she simply couldn’t let pass. Tomorrow, she would do her duty. Craning her neck up, she placed her own lips next to his earlobe. “I meant every word and what is more, I would ask you a favor.”
“What?” he turned so that his lips were achingly close to hers.
“I can’t love you. I’ve made that mistake too many times. My father is right; I need to own up to my obligations. But I have never let a man kiss me before and I would ask that you share my first with me. I want to remember you always.” The words came out in a rush.
She heard his breath catch. “You’ve never…”
Shak
ing her head ever so slightly, she then pressed her lips to his. It was a hesitant gesture, she wasn’t quite sure what to do. Feeling strange, she started to move away as Alex’s arm snaked around her waist and he pulled her closer as he pressed his lips to hers again.
Over and over, his lips met hers until he slanted them open and his tongue probed lightly in her mouth. He swallowed her gasp as her hands moved from his shoulders and around his neck to pull him closer. Why had she waited so long to kiss a man? It was divine.
Her father let out another snore, longer and louder. The sound caused Alex to jerk his head away from hers but his hands remained around her waist and he tugged her easily into his lap. His lips pressed to her ear. “Tomorrow, we need to talk.”
“I told you I cannot love you and I can’t marry you. My father―“
“I am aware of every facet of your situation and tomorrow, you will be too. You should know already but my scar necessitated secrecy, or at least I tell myself it did, and for better or worse, I kept the truth from you.”
“What are you…” Her voice drifted off. His lips nuzzled her neck as delicious shivers raced up and down her spine. She closed her eyes tipping her head back.
Never had a man made her ache this way and it was too late. She had attempted to defy her father once too often and now she must do as he asked. He had been right all along when he said that she was wasting her affections on the wrong men. What Alex effortlessly made her feel was like nothing she had experienced before.
A small sob escaped her lips and she pulled away. She made to move out of his lap but he held her firm. “I won’t ask you to promise me anything, but stay in my arms a little longer, Rose.”
“I shouldn’t have been so foolish.” Regret was filling her now. Once again she had put her feelings of the moment before her duty, only this time she had truly cursed herself because now forever she would know what she had missed.
“We are all fools, Rose. Don’t worry yourself. Besides, it may all yet work itself out.” He gave her a squeeze, resting his cheek against hers. “I too will remember that kiss forever. It was a beautiful gift.”
“How can that be true? You are a handsome man of the world. And I am a silly girl who cannot control her own heart.”
“You flatter me greatly, Rose. But more than one woman has shrunk form my scars. I try not―“ Rose held a finger to his lips.
“Annabelle White is a ninny-headed piece of fluff. And so is any other girl that reacts that way. I know I said this earlier but they are fools to not see what I see and it is their loss.”
“What do you see?” his voice was quiet, almost desperate.
“I see a man who is handsome, strong, and brave, who is not afraid to fight but has the compassion to avoid it whenever possible. You’re the finest I have ever met.”
“Rose,” he sounded pained. “I can’t begin to explain how I’ve longed to hear those words.”
“I speak but the truth.”
“But I do not. I haven’t told you the whole truth.”
“About your scar.” Her fingers reached up to trace it.
He shook his head. “About myself. Your father said that you were resistant to marriage and I had been engaged once before. It ended badly. I wanted to meet you first and see if you were repulsed by my scar.”
Rose looked at him in confusion for the span of a second before all his words sank in. Then it came into sharp focus. She had been a fool. He was the duke she was promised to. Her stomach sank to the floor of the carriage. Had he been laughing at her this whole time? “Oh,” was all she could utter. Unwinding her arm from around his shoulders, she gathered the folds of her dress and attempted to extract herself from his lap with as much dignity as she could muster. Not that there was much hope for that. He had lied to her about his identity. Was his name even Alex?
Bile rose in her throat as she tried to untangle her legs from his. His arms tightened. “Rose, please give me a chance to fully explain tomorrow. I know your father told you that I want you to have the right to refuse me and I stand by that, but give me a chance to explain everything before you reject me.”
She gave a single nod, she didn’t trust herself to speak. Part of her wanted to slap his face for lying while the other wanted to bury her head in his shoulder and cry because once again she had been proven a foolish girl. When would she ever see a situation for what it was and act in a way that didn’t make her look the fool.
She always appeared a silly girl. Whether her father was buying off her suitors or threatening her family or, like Alex, lying to her about their identity, never did Rose get it right.
Straightening her spine, she tried to get up once again. An ache was forming in her chest and she was afraid she might cry if she didn’t gain a little space. “Please stay,” he pleaded.
“I can’t,” she choked out.
“Don’t cry, Rose. Please don’t cry. I never wanted to cause you pain.”
“Is your name even Alex?” she whispered turning her face up to his despite the tears shimmering in her eyes.
“Of course.” His hand came to stroke her cheek, his fingertips caressing the skin.
Her hand covered his, holding his fingers still. Rose was aching inside but she wouldn’t allow a gesture of comfort distract her. “Did you discover what you hoped to with your deceit?”
He hesitated. “I have discovered that you are not repulsed by my scar and that means a great deal. I have been hurt before and I needed to know that you could see past the flesh.”
A moment of relief swept through her before she realized he hadn’t really answered the question. “You didn’t say yes. What is it you didn’t learn about me that you hoped to?”
“Rose,” he started.
“Yes, Alex,” she asked lifting her eyebrows.
“You yourself said that your heart has been fickle, that you fall in and out of love. I only want to know if―“
Her inhale of breath stopped his words. That twisted knots in her stomach even more than his lie. Deep down, she could forgive his wounded heart for protecting itself, though she had looked the fool. But his lack of trust, while deserved, made her ache. She slipped her fingers from his and gathered up the layers of her dress. Scooting off his lap, she plopped in the seat next to him, leaving space between their bodies. She might deeply regret this in the morning. When didn’t she regret her own actions? But her wounded pride demanded that she strike back.
“Say something,” he pleaded.
“I wish you luck in your search for a wife.”
TAMING A DUKE’S WILD ROSE
CHAPTER FIVE
Alex stared at her for a full five seconds. A tear slipped down her cheek as she stared straight ahead. It briefly crossed his mind, that as a duke, it should be easy to find a wife. And yet, he managed to muck it up every damn time. “Hells bells,” he muttered.
“What?” She looked over at him then.
He ran his fingers through his hair. He had to choose his next words far more carefully then he had the last several idiotic sentences he had stumbled through. “Thank you, for your wish of luck. Being as addle-brained as I am, I need all the help I can get.”
She stared at him before a small smile cracked her lips. He reached up and brushed the tears away. “You’re welcome,” she breathed, her eyes wide. She looked beautiful like that, in the moonlight.
“Can we please start anew? When I arrived, I was lying and you were in love with another man. I am not asking you to be my wife, but simply to let me court you in a more traditional manner.”
She nibbled on her lip, uncertainty filling her eyes. It was the most adorably intoxicating gesture he had ever seen a woman make. Desire coursed through him, and it took all his self-control to not pull her body against his and ravage those lips with his again.
Her initial kiss had been so tentative but she had turned molten under his lips, much like the woman herself. She was a delicious concoction of innocence and passion.
“I need
to think. Rash decisions have long been my weak point.” Her voice was barely a whisper.
Hope filled his chest. In part because she hadn’t closed the door but also because his fear with Rose was that she would not keep her attention on a family, should he marry her. The fact that she was thinking this through meant she was acting more maturely. Then again, he didn’t know if it mattered. His heart was nearly immovable and she was steadily claiming it for her own.
She sat looking pensively out the window, looking lovely in the moonlight. Everything in him wanted to reach out and wrap his arms around her again and pull her close. He resisted. Rose needed space and he had to respect that.
“What makes me angriest, is that I have been honest with you about all of my flaws. I have told you who and what I am.” She continued to look out the window, she did not turn to him as she spoke.
His insides gave a little twist. Damnation she was right. In his intent to make sure she was a suitable wife, he had likely proven himself an unsuitable husband. His physical scar, and the emotional scars it had created, was once again sabotaging his life. He sat back on the seat and covered his eyes with his hands. His body sagged. “You’re right. My sin is far greater than yours.”
He felt the gentle touch of her hand on his forearm. It was light as feather but it soothed the ache in his chest. He dropped his hands from his face and met her ocean blue eyes, so expressive, they showed an ache that matched his own.
Their start had been so troubled, he wondered if they could ever recover. He had to find a way to make that happen. Despite his fears over marrying Rose, he now couldn’t imagine having another. For a relationship to work, he would have to take the risk. “Rose―“ he started, but a noise caught his attention. It was whinny of a horse in the distance, not of the animals that pulled their carriage. “Strange that other riders are out this time of night. Lord Wentworth, do you keep weapons in the carriage?”
“Huh,” Lord Wentworth grunted out as he came awake.
Taming a Duke's Wild Rose: Taming the Heart Series Book 2 Page 4
