What We'll Leave Behind

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What We'll Leave Behind Page 7

by Len Webster


  “Julian,” she mumbled. Her hands wrapped around his wrists, and then she started to push him away from her. “Stop for a second.”

  With a disappointed groan, his lips left hers. The only satisfaction he found from the premature end of their kiss was that she, too, was left panting.

  “Now who’s the cruel one?” he asked and then ran his hands through his hair.

  “You remember that little promise we made?” Stephanie wiped her bottom lip with her thumb.

  “I remember.”

  She smiled, her lips curving to almost form a dare. He wanted it to be a dare. She patted the sand off the dress she was wearing before she rose to her feet and looked down at him.

  “Do you still have that coin?” she asked as she held her hand out.

  When Julian got to his feet, he dug into the pocket of his shorts and pulled out the same Thai coin from the other day. He had started carrying it around like a keepsake of their time together.

  When he placed the coin in her palm, he furrowed his brow at her, confused and excited to see what she had planned.

  Stephanie set the coin on her thumb, ready to flick it in the air. “Heads, we forget the promise and you trust me. Or tails, we fulfill it. Your bed first and then mine.”

  Julian quickly covered the coin with both of his hands. “Heads, Stephanie,” he said softly.

  She blinked once. The surprise in her eyes couldn’t be missed; he loved to see it.

  “You don’t even know what heads is.”

  He gave her a sincere smile before he took the coin from her and then returned it to his pocket. “I don’t care what it is. I want it.” He wasn’t sure if he saw realisation flash in her eyes, but he hoped it was.

  Stephanie put both hands on his hip and took a deep breath. “But why?”

  It was his turn to inhale. Then he cradled her soft and beautiful face in his hands. “You asked me to trust you and I am. I don’t care what you want or need me to do. I’ll do it.”

  She laughed lightly and pulled him closer to him. “You chose right, you lucky bastard.”

  He frowned at her. “I’m my own cockblock.”

  She went on her tippy-toes and proceeded to kiss his lips once and then the tip of his nose. “Trust me,” she breathed.

  “I do, Blondie,” he said before he sealed his promise with a kiss.

  “Did you just wake me up by squeezing my ass?” Stephanie asked with her eyes closed.

  Before he could say anything, the hammock rocked as she squirmed in his arms.

  “Stephanie, shut up for two seconds and enjoy this morning,” he instructed as he returned his wandering hand to its original place on her hip. “Also, you have a great ass.”

  She tilted her face up to him, and her eyelids slowly fluttered open. Just-woken Stephanie was far too beautiful for words. She was especially far too beautiful to be in his arms, waking up to him for the second morning in a row. When he’d asked if she wanted to sleep in the master bedroom, Stephanie had shaken her head and said that she would rather sleep in the hammock under the bright and starry night. Julian hadn’t argued. He loved the way the warm wind blanketed them and slowly swayed them until sunlight.

  “That was so unflattering. What every girl wants to hear,” she said in a dry tone.

  He smirked. “Do-over?”

  Stephanie stroked back his hair and gave him a sad smile. “Maybe later? I have to go tell my roommate I’m alive.”

  The grin on his face quickly vanished. “Do you really have to go?”

  Her lips had found his in a chaste kiss before she said, “As much as I loved the ass groping this morning, unfortunately, I do. And don’t you have friends you can hang out with until I come back?”

  They’re all in love.

  I only want to spend time with you.

  Her perfectly arched eyebrow had him sliding his hand up the side of her body until his thumb caressed her jawline.

  “They’re all assholes.”

  She shook her head and jabbed his hard chest with a finger. “Surely not. I bet they are incredible since they have to deal with you and your annoying ways. But I seriously have to go.”

  “My ways are not annoying, Stephanie,” he argued as she swung her legs over the rope.

  There was no gracefulness in how she got out of the hammock. She stumbled and almost fell flat on her face. The cute groan she made only had him chuckling. Once she composed herself and Julian was lying on his back, Stephanie hovered over him.

  The sight of her was beautiful. It was like heaven had mixed with sunlight as it threaded through the gaps in her messy, blonde hair around him.

  “Can I ask you something?”

  Julian reached up and wrapped a lock around his fingers. He had never seen blonde quite like hers. The shade had caught his eye the first time he’d noticed her. It had seemed like forever since they’d met. But it had only been five days. And in those five days, his life had never been more worthy of living.

  “Anything, Stephanie. You can ask me anything.”

  She placed the tips of her warm fingers to his cheek and slowly traced the side of his face. “Make a list of things we’ll do today. Do that while I’m gone.”

  His hand held her wrist to stop her fingers’ movements. It was intimate—a form he had never known. “Why?”

  She kissed him softly. It didn’t last long, but it was enough to cause a tightening sensation in his chest.

  “Julian, we’re leaving the comfort zone today.”

  The smile on her lips took his breath away. It wasn’t quick. It was slow, as if it were trying to tell him to realise what had happened at this moment.

  I’ve fallen in love with Stephanie.

  Once Stevie had showered, she laid on the bed and thought about the reasons why falling in love with a stranger was completely insane. In the end, she had made the decision to screw rationality and go for it. Be with Julian. The chances of finding someone to see her the way he did would be slim to none after him. It was time for her reckless heart to live up to its title.

  It had been almost an hour since she had left him this morning. And in that hour, she had decided that she would do whatever he wanted to do outside of their comfort zones. Like her father had told her, why waste the warmth the sun has given us? Why waste the light the moon graces us with? Why waste the air the trees provide for us? Why waste the life that blesses us?

  Because it’s pointless to.

  Stevie smiled. It was useless to try to fight how she felt. The truth was that she loved the scary, intense, and liberating emotions Julian brought out of her. There was no turning back. She had fallen from the grips of reality and had been swallowed up by the pretense that had been disguised as fantasies. And it was beautiful.

  When she reached the large, wooden door, Stevie knocked twice and waited. Only seconds passed before Julian opened it. His eyes widened, and the twinkle of his light blues influenced the smile on her face.

  “Blondie,” he breathed out then pulled the door back.

  Julian cupped her face before she could event take a step towards him and his lips collided with hers. It wasn’t possessive. It was slow. Savoured. Even memorised. Like the touch of her lips was being stored in the vault for safekeeping. To never be tainted by the influence of others. Pure and just for them.

  When Julian broke contact, his heavy panting mirrored hers. His glimmering light blue eyes had her heart racing and missing beats at the same time. It was unnatural but completely natural. The need to be his shouldn’t have been a feeling that existed, but it did. It had been created to consume every ounce of her heart.

  “I thought you were going to be gone for a while?” Julian asked, taking her hands to lead her into the villa.

  They hadn’t made it three steps inside when he closed the door and gently nudged her into it. A small gasp escaped her lips at the surprise move. He didn’t lunge for her lips as she had expected. Instead, his hands splayed on the wood of the door as he pinned her with
no means of escape—not that she wanted one.

  “Your friends?” he asked as he closed the distance between their lips.

  Stevie’s eyes were planted on his mouth as she took in sharp breaths. Then she glanced up at him. “Not important. Right now, it’s you and me, Julian.” The words fell from her lips like soft whispers made at night to the bright stars above.

  “You sure?”

  She tilted her chin a little higher. “Yes,” she breathed out.

  The grin on his mouth tugged her heart in a million directions and squeezed her lungs of their air. He made her internal organs useless at their jobs. Then he leant forward and kissed the tip of her nose.

  “Good. Can’t give you up just yet, Blondie. We have many things we need to do together. And the first is us going to the beach and getting in the water before we fill that vault of ours,” he said and then lowered his hands to the sides of her face.

  The way his blue eyes pierced every wall she thought she had had Stevie letting out a heavy sigh.

  Never will I ever find someone like you again.

  Never will I ever want someone like you again.

  Never will I ever forgive you for entering my life.

  Never will I ever understand why I couldn’t stop myself from falling in love with you.

  Never will I ever see you again.

  Stevie blinked. She had just decided their fate. Her heart halted violently, and she swallowed, willing it to take another beat. It was that eye twinkle of his and the effect it had on her heart that cemented the fact that she was in too deep. Reality had to find its way back to them and dilute their fantasy. Their make-believe.

  “What’s first on your list?” she asked, ignoring the way rationality beat severely on her conscience.

  Julian’s nose brushed against hers. “You’ll see. Come for a swim with me?”

  His fingers slowly trailed down her jaw and then her neck. A shiver ravished her body, and she held on to his arms to stop his wandering. He had said that he trusted her. And the time would come when they’d fulfill the new coin toss promise he had no idea about.

  Because last night, she had made a choice. He trusted her. She trusted him. What she didn’t trust was her heart, but it had won. In light of it all, no man had ever looked at her or treated her the way Julian had.

  Never will I ever lose my virginity to anyone but you.

  “I like this,” Julian whispered in her ear.

  Stevie had smiled against his cheek before she hugged her wet arms around him tighter. “And what is it that you like?”

  “Hmm.” He walked them farther away from shore, her feet just able to touch the sand at the bottom of the ocean floor.

  When his hands rested on the backs of her thighs, Stevie pulled back and saw a smile on his face. Then she raised an eyebrow, unsure of what he was about to do.

  Julian shook his head at her. “Just hold on, okay?”

  She didn’t have a chance to reply before he lifted her up, and on instinct, Stevie wrapped her legs around his waist.

  His lips had met hers briefly before he asked, “You secure there, Blondie?”

  Stevie kissed him as quickly as he had seconds before. Barely touching but evoking a million emotions within her.

  “I am,” she replied softly.

  “Good,” he breathed.

  She squeezed her arms around his neck once. “Now what?”

  “Let go and lie back on the water,” he instructed.

  She couldn’t help the purse of her lips. “Why?”

  Julian glided them left and right through the water, reminding her that he was holding on to her. A giggle forced its way from her, and she pushed her body against his. At the sudden widening of his eyes, a sense of self-satisfaction swept through her.

  “Stop,” she softly demanded.

  He did.

  Then Stevie unwrapped her arms from around him, trusting that he’d hold her up as she slowly leant back until the water met her back. The coolness was a blessing to her heated skin, which was hot from both the sun and the closeness of Julian’s body.

  She stared at the softness in his eyes and the light curve of his lips. It was beautiful and sweet. The sight itself was worth locking into the vault.

  “Don’t look at me, Stephanie. Look at the sky.” His grip on her legs loosened as he allowed her to float.

  Stevie’s eyes shifted from his to the blueness of the sky. It was a shade of vibrant blue, the scene not hindered by clouds or even the sun. Just blue. Pure and untainted blue.

  “Whenever you’re lost, Stephanie, just look at the sky and the stars. They’re your direction, and they’re your hope and inspiration. They were witnesses to what we shared here,” he said, his voice laced with a tinge of sadness to it.

  I did nothing to stop the fall.

  I didn’t realise until it was too late to stop it.

  “I’m yours for eternity,” she whispered, keeping her sight on the sky. She had all but thrown her heart into his hands.

  “And I’m yours,” he breathed before he helped her up, his hands on the small of her back.

  Water dripped from her hair, but she didn’t care. She lunged for him, needing to feel his emotions from his lips. To feel the freedom he gave her with each kiss. She had no control of her hands as they automatically ran through his hair and pulled him to a deeper and more intense connection.

  A kiss that spoke the words she couldn’t.

  Because admitting that I love him is irrational.

  There is no logic to this.

  To us.

  This time Julian ended what she hadn’t wanted to. He bent his knees, helping her to unwrap her legs from around him and stand upright. Then he brushed her wet hair back and took her left hand. Words weren’t said as he led them back to where their belongings sat on the white sand.

  The moment they reached the shore, Julian kissed her temple before he walked them to their spot. Once she got to her towel, she picked it up and proceeded to dry her wet skin. He did the same. She didn’t hide the fact that she was staring at the way his towel glided over every wet muscle.

  “Like what you see?” Julian smirked.

  Stevie dropped her towel and stepped towards him. She bit her bottom lip and glanced at him through her lashes. Then she released her lip.

  “You wish.”

  When his grin deepened, she felt pretty pleased with herself.

  “I do, Blondie. Ever since I met you, I have been,” he admitted.

  Heart.

  Stopped.

  Paused.

  Or completely obliterated itself.

  More than likely, it had done all three.

  She watched him bend down and place his towel on the sand. Then he rummaged through his bag until he found what he was looking for. Then he stood straight and held it out to her.

  “The coin?” Stevie asked. Her eyebrows met in confusion.

  Julian nodded, a sly smile touching his lips. “You wanted outside your comfort zone.”

  She had let out a short laugh before she reached into her beach bag, pulled out a hairband, and fastened her hair into a ponytail. Then her hands were on her hips.

  “We’re going to leave our recklessness in the hands of a Thai coin?” she asked as she started to dress herself.

  Once she had her thin blouse on and started to button her shirt, she glanced up at him to catch his eyes following her hands movements. Julian smirked and then nodded. “Heads, tattoos. Tails, skinny dipping.”

  Her mouth dropped. It was like her jaw had loosened and gravity had pulled it down. He had done it. Two options so far out of her comfort zone, she should have packed up and left him. But that was just what she wanted. Because when she went home and returned to reality, she would hide so far into her safety net that she’d never try to break free again.

  When the shock of his statement had finally worn off, Stevie raised an eyebrow at him. “When did we agree on skinny dipping?”

  Or tattoos…


  He smirked. And it was filled with so much pride that it almost made her sick. “We didn’t. The coin did.”

  A chuckle slipped from her, and she internally cursed herself. Then she snatched the coin and stared at it. “Damn coin! All right. What are you hoping for?”

  Julian took a deep breath and confidently said, “Heads.”

  She flinched. “So, you don’t want to see me naked? What a shame.”

  He glanced down at the coin in her hand. “Trust me, Blondie. A naked Stephanie is something I really want. But I want heads more.”

  “And why is that?”

  “Because I get to choose the tattoos.”

  Her eyes widened. “I did not agree to that.”

  Julian had taken a step closer before his hands rested on her shoulders. “No. That’s why I chose to do it. Because it is so far out of your comfort zone to have someone control what you do. That’s why you asked me to make a list. Isn’t it?”

  Her eyelids fluttered twice at his question.

  He’s right.

  I gave him control.

  I never give anyone control.

  Stevie placed the coin in his shorts pocket before she briefly pressed her lips to his. “Then heads it is,” she whispered.

  Never will I ever let anyone control my heart the way you do again.

  “You scared, Blondie?” he asked as he stared at the way she was examining the sign on the top of the building.

  After they’d collected their things from the beach and returned them to his villa, they’d walked to the main shopping district until they’d found the first tattoo parlor. It couldn’t be missed. In big, red font, the sign read Tattoo, and next to it was the store’s phone number. Through the window, it looked clean and professional. Images plastered the walls and tourists sat in the large, black chairs. It had seemed legitimate enough.

  “I’m not. But you’re holding my hand pretty tight there. I thought you had control?” she asked, a teasing gleam in her voice.

  Looking down at her hand, he noticed just how intense his grip on hers had been. His white knuckles were the indicator. So he loosened his hold and gave her a tight smile.

 

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