by Amber Garza
If I don’t work hard enough, everything can come crashing down. And I sometimes wonder who will be left if that happens.
But Taylor isn’t interested in me because of my standing on the team or because I’m popular. Up until tonight I didn’t think she was interested at all, but that kiss told a different story. You don’t kiss like that if you’re not interested at all. Not even as a way to hide from your ex.
However, what impacted me the most was the way she trembled in my arms, the fear that etched her features. A girl should never feel that way. Guys should make them feel protected, safe. Not spark fear. That’s bullshit.
Clearly her ex has hurt her, and I won’t let him do it again.
I may not be her boyfriend, but I’ll protect her like I am. I’ll protect her the way her ex should have.
Turning onto Old Creek Road, I drive with my eyes peeled. When I don’t see Dusty, I worry that he’s already left. I know he didn’t head in Taylor’s direction because he would’ve had to pass me, and I didn’t see any strange vehicles. The few cars that did pass, I recognized. That’s the thing about a small town. Strangers stick out like a sore thumb.
Too bad for Taylor that also means that if her ex-boyfriend is roaming the streets, it’s only a matter of time before word gets back to her uncle. But the good news is that no one will give Dusty any information. That I’m absolutely certain about. We protect our own. Even if Taylor isn’t technically one of our own, she’s the pastor’s niece. That means something around here.
I turn down another street and keep driving, my eyes scouring the sidewalk. That’s when I spot him. He’s walking down the street, a look of defeat splashed across his features. My heart lifts, knowing that it means he still doesn’t know where she is. Pulling over, I park my car. Hurriedly, I cut the engine, snatch out my keys and step out. Hopping up onto the sidewalk, I walk in his direction. When I pass him, I move close enough that my shoulder rams his. I’m hoping it works. Knowing guys like Dusty, I’m sure it will.
He stops. “Hey! Watch where you’re going.”
“Sorry,” I mumble, spinning around to face him. My chest tightens when I take in his scowl, the scar running the length of his jaw and his narrowed eyes that are almost black in color. Assessing his build, I realize I could probably take him, but I don’t know if I should try. Dude looks sketchy. Probably carrying a weapon inside that trench coat he’s wearing. Seriously, what did Taylor ever see in this guy? Finding my voice, I say, “Can I help you with something?”
His glare deepens. “Did I ask you for help?” He speaks in a low, gravely tone as if he’s smoked one too many packs of cigarettes.
I swallow hard. “No, but it’s obvious you don’t live around here, so I thought maybe you were lost or something.”
A slow smile spreads across his face. “How do you know I don’t live around here?”
“Cause I don’t know you,” I say, shrugging.
“And you know everyone around here?”
I nod.
“Good. Then maybe you can help me.” He reaches into his pocket, and I involuntarily flinch. This seems to amuse him. “Man, you people around here are skittish. Funny as hell.” When he extracts his hand, he holds a faded photograph. I fight to keep my face neutral when my gaze connects with Taylor’s face. “Know her?”
I shake my head.
“You sure?”
“Never seen her before in my life,” I speak firmly, hoping he buys it.
He runs a hand over his short, dark hair. “No one around here has.”
“Then she must not be here.”
He grunts, glancing around. “She has to be.”
“Sorry, man.” I force an apologetic smile.
He moves in closer to me. “I swear to god if I find out you’re lying to me, you’re gonna pay.”
I inhale. “What reason would I have to lie?”
He moves back, studying me intently. “Yeah, you don’t really look like the kind of guy that Taylor would waste her time with.” With swift movements, he drops the picture back into his pocket. “But it’s okay. I’ll find her,” he mutters under his breath. “If she thinks she can hide from me, she’s dead wrong.”
My stomach twists at his words. “Why do you want to find this girl so bad?”
His eyes darken. “She has something that belongs to me, and I want it back.”
I nod slowly, mulling over his statement. What does Taylor have of his?
“Thanks anyway.” Dusty slaps me in the shoulder, and steps around me. His heavy boots clomp on the pavement as he walks down the street. Swiveling, I watch him climb into a black jeep and turn it on. Rock music floods the street as he pulls away from the curb. Standing on the sidewalk, I wait until the jeep is out of sight before heading to my own car. I wish I felt relief about his exit, but I don’t.
His statement chilled me to the bone. I have no doubt he’ll keep looking for Taylor, and eventually he’ll end up back here. When he does, I’m not sure he’ll buy my lies a second time.
TAYLOR
The whole town is talking about Dusty’s appearance in Prairie Creek last night.
Apparently there is no way to fly under the radar in this place. Whispers circle me as I walk the halls of the high school. From the bits and pieces I pick up, I know that Dusty was asking about me.
Great. By the time I get back to Uncle Alex’s house this afternoon, I’m sure he and Molly will have packed up my shit. It’s not like I wanted to stay here anyway, but I know I can’t go back home. Not yet. And I don’t know where else my parents can send me. We don’t have family anywhere else.
Besides, this place is finally growing on me. Cal appears at the end of the hallway, reminding me of the real reason I want to stay. My heart kick starts, and sweat coats my palms. Yesterday I thought of him as nothing more than one of the many jocks at this school. But today my heart and body react to him in a puzzling way.
I haven’t had this reaction to anyone in a long time. Not since I first met Dusty.
I’m not surprised though. Cal impressed me last night. Not just because he’s a good kisser, but because he treated me in a way I’ve never been treated before. The protective manner in which he related to me was reminiscent of one of those romantic comedies my mom likes to watch so much. I used to laugh at them because the guys were so unrealistic.
But Cal proves that there are guys like that in the world. I guess I spent too much time hanging with guys like Dusty to notice them before. As he nears me, I shift uncomfortably from one foot to another. Tucking an errant strand of hair behind my ear, my insides quiver. I’m not sure how he’ll behave towards me. He was so sweet last night, but now he’s had time to process everything. He’s had time to hear the rumors, to ponder our interaction. He might be totally freaked out by this point.
And honestly, I don’t know what I want from him.
It’s not like anything can happen between us. Not now. Not with the secret I’m carrying. However, I’m not sure a friendship with Cal will work. I’m not saying that he likes me or anything, but clearly there’s a mutual attraction. Our kiss was intense. It was the kind of kiss that spins the world on its axis. The kind that changes things. I can’t guarantee that I won’t want it to happen again. Especially if we start hanging out.
But I also know it will hurt if he ignores me. It was only one night, but the night was significant. And rejection from him will scar me. Not in the same way that Dusty has scarred me, but it will maim me just the same.
Before Cal reaches me, he’s intercepted by a group of guys. They exchange words and fist bumps. My gaze flickers around the crowded hallway, and I feel like an idiot for standing here waiting on him. A couple of girls saunter past, throwing him smiles and waves. My stomach sours. I’m outta here.
Spinning around on my heels, I stalk toward the doors leading out of the hallway.
“Taylor,” Cal’s voice stops me.
My heart arrests. I freeze, then slowly turn around.
; He stands in front of me, one hand jammed in the front pocket of his jeans. His hair is tousled, and his eyes pierce mine. He’s wearing an expression of concern. “You okay?”
I nod, emotion rising inside of me. What is it about this guy that brings out this sensitive side of me?
“Don’t worry.” His free hand lights on my arm, reminding me of our kiss last night. My pulse races. Students glance over curiously, some of them openly gawking. A part of me feels satisfied, happy even. But the other part of me is embarrassed, hating the attention. Either way, I don’t want to end my conversation with Cal. This is the most peace I’ve felt all morning. His presence has a calming effect on me. “I took care of it. He won’t come around again.”
I’m stunned. Sure, he told me he’d take care of it, but I wasn’t even sure that was possible. “What did you do?”
“Told him you aren’t in Prairie Creek.” He shrugs like it’s no big deal.
“Y-you talked to him?” I burst out. My body goes hot.
He nods, glancing around the hallway. I clamp my mouth shut, realizing that I spoke too loudly. But I can’t help it. This whole thing is crazy. “It wasn’t a big deal. I just approached him, asked if he needed help, he showed me your picture, and--”
“What?” I interrupt him. “What picture?”
“I don’t know. Some picture he had of you. It looked like it was pretty recent.” His gaze travels down my body, and I bite my lip. “You looked the same. Anyway, he asked if I knew you. I told him I didn’t.”
“You think he believed you?”
“Yeah, I do. I told him I knew everyone in town, and that I’d never seen you. After talking to me, he got in his car and drove off. Seemed satisfied.” His confidence makes me want to think it’s true. But deep down, I’m uncertain. One thing I’ve learned over the years is that Dusty doesn’t give up. Only this time I don’t understand why he even wants to find me. In our last conversation he made his feelings for me pretty clear.
“I just don’t get why he was here,” I mutter under my breath.
Cal studies me, his face serious, his eyebrows knit together. “He said you have something of his. Something he wants back. Any idea what that is?”
His words are like a swift kick to my gut. Bile rises in my throat, but I swallow it down.
“Taylor?” His eyes widen.
Seriously, I’ve got to pull it together. Calming myself, I suck in a breath. “Um…no. I don’t know what he’s talking about. I don’t have anything of his.” It’s a lie. A huge lie. But there’s no way I can tell Cal the truth. If I do, he’ll walk away and never look back, and I can’t let that happen. I need him right now. I know that makes me seem like a selfish person, and maybe I am. But I’m not ready to let Cal go. I’ll have to at some point, but I don’t want that to be today.
The bell peals. Students hurry past us making their way to class. My class is clear across campus, and as much as I want to stay here with Cal, I know I need to head that direction.
“Well, I better get going,” I say.
Cal nods. “Want me to walk you to class?”
It’s tempting, but I shake my head. It already scares me how much I need him after only one night. I can’t lean on him constantly. “That’s okay. I’ll be fine.”
“We’ll talk later, all right?”
“Yeah,” I respond, a little surprised that he still wants to talk to me. That he’s still so concerned. I can only imagine how his conversation with Dusty went. I’m positive it wasn’t a friendly one. Why is he so hell bent on helping me?
****
Math has never been my best subject. I like history. English is okay. Words and stories I get. Numbers, not so much. Therefore, I’m not surprised when Mr. West passes back our math tests, and on top of mine he’s written a big fat F. Inwardly I groan as I stare down at all the red slashes on the page. This is the last thing I need today. As if my aunt and uncle aren’t going to be upset enough over Dusty, but now I’m getting an F in math.
Great.
“I’m really good at math,” a girl’s voice interrupts my thoughts.
I glance over to where Emmy sits in the desk next to mine. She’s wearing a proud smile, and confusion fills me. “Good for you?” It comes out like a question, because it is. I have no idea why she’s sharing this little tidbit about herself right now.
Her eyes bounce down to my paper. “I wasn’t bragging.” She sounds slightly exasperated, but I can tell she’s working hard to mask it. Her smile deepens, but it appears forced. Not genuine the way her brother’s was when we talked this morning. “I just couldn’t help but notice the grade on your paper.”
I peer over at the test she holds in her hands. A large “A” is scrawled at the top of it. My stomach tightens. “So you thought you’d throw it in my face that you got a better grade?” I’m even more confused than before. And here I thought she was the nice one and her brother was the arrogant one. Clearly, I’d misread them.
“No.” Sighing, she shakes her head. “I sometimes tutor other students who need help in math. When I saw your test grade, I thought maybe you could use a little help.”
Huh. Not at all what I was expecting. What is it with this family and their need to help me? And seriously, nothing sounds more unappealing than math tutoring. I’m about to open my mouth to tell her that, when I clamp it shut. What am I thinking? I can’t turn her down. One, because then she’ll tell her older brother and he’ll think I’m a jerk. Two, this may be exactly what I need. If I can show my aunt and uncle that I’m trying, maybe I’ll buy myself some time here.
Man, I don’t even recognize myself anymore. Yesterday I hated this town and everyone in it. Of course that was before I saw Dusty again. The mere glimpse of him reminded me of why I need to be here. And his words to Cal confirmed that. What I have isn’t his no matter what he thinks, and I’m never going to let him take it from me.
But I know that isn’t the only factor here. Cal’s changed my mind about this place. It’s scary the effect he’s had on me. I’m sort of known for falling, and falling fast, and I don’t want to do that with Cal. I want him in my life, but I know I need to guard my heart. If I’ve had issues with falling in love quickly with the wrong guy, how much easier will it be to fall for the right one?
Taking a deep breath, I turn to Emmy. She’s staring at me, eyebrows raised, waiting for a response. Dear lord, how long was I sitting here mute? “Um…yeah. Actually tutoring sounds great.”
Surprise flickers in her eyes, and I can’t say I blame her. She’s tried to talk to me before, and I wasn’t exactly friendly. “Oh. Okay. Great.” By the way she says the word “great” it doesn’t sound like she thinks it is. In fact, I’d say she appears disappointed with my response. Which is weird, since she’s the one who offered.
Oh, well. Either way, I’m hoping to use this entire situation to my advantage.
CAL
I’ve loved baseball since I was a kid. Mom has often joked that I was born with a baseball in my hand. And while that’s not exactly true, it’s close. Most of the pictures of me when I was a toddler, I’m holding some kind of ball. From a young age, it was obvious that I was good at sports. I played multiple sports when I was a kid, including basketball and soccer. But it was baseball that stole my heart. And there was nothing I loved more than being on the mound; nothing I loved more than pitching. It wasn’t that I was bad at hitting. It was that I was better at throwing. That became apparent early on. I’ve always had great aim and a lot of strength behind my throws. But more than that, I have composure. I know how to remain cool and collected even in the face of ridicule, trash talk, or anxiety. I don’t get rattled easily. It gives me an edge. It gives me an advantage.
The baseball field is the place I feel most like me. It’s the place that I feel in control. That I feel like I belong. It’s my home away from home. And the guys on the team are my family. Even the ones I don’t like too much. I mean, every family has its black sheep, right?
But the person I’m most connected to on the field is Christian. He’s my partner, my wingman. The person I count on. The person who’s got my back. He and I have been a team since we were little kids.
I throw the ball to him, and his glove closes around it. With a smile, he tosses it back. I threw it hard. Harder than I had been lately. I could feel it. And the grin he flashes me betrays that he felt it too.
As much as things have changed between us off the field, out here we are exactly the same as always. And I revel in the comfort of that. Cocking my arm, I release the ball again. Christian doesn’t even have to move. My location is so on, he only has to open his glove and the ball slides right in.
Christian throws the ball back and then crouches down into position. We throw for a few more minutes while Coach works with some of the other guys. Then Coach calls us over for some last-minute instructions before tomorrow’s game. Afterward, we head back to the dugout to grab our stuff.
When we reach it, Christian nudges me in the shoulder. “So, you ever gonna tell me what’s going on between you and Taylor?”
“What makes you think there’s something to tell?” I’m stalling. It’s not like I’ll lie to Chris. I’m just not sure what to say. So far everything with Taylor has been a whirlwind. I’m not even entirely sure I know what’s going on with us. Or if anything is.
“C’mon.” He narrows his eyes. “Everyone saw you talking to her this morning. Then at lunch you couldn’t even focus. It was obvious you were looking for her.”
I furrow my brows. Yeah, it was weird. I did look for Taylor the entire lunch period, and I couldn’t find her. As hard as I tried to pretend it didn’t bother me, it did. My mind entertained all the reasons she might be absent. And I worried that maybe she was right about her aunt and uncle sending her away. It shouldn’t matter to me. I don’t even know her. We’ve only had a few conversations.
However, I know that’s not exactly the truth. I mean, yeah, technically we’ve only had a few conversations, but what we have is more than that. We connected. It may have only been a moment, but I felt it. The connection with Taylor was the most significant connection I’ve ever felt with a girl before. It was the strongest connection I’ve ever felt with any person other than my family or the team.
