by Amber Garza
“Thanks,” I mumble, heading outside. After closing the door, I peer up at Cal. “What’s up?” As nonchalant as I try to sound, I know it doesn’t work.
“You’re still here,” he says.
“Yep.”
“So they didn’t find out about Dusty?” His head bobs toward the house.
“No, they did, and my uncle talked to my mom. But they all agreed I was safest here.”
“Good.”
Dumbfounded, I bite my lip. “Is that why you showed up? To make sure I was still here?”
He nods.
“Why?”
“I already told you. I’m bored. You liven things up.” He shrugs. “And I was kinda worried you were gone when I didn’t see you at lunch.”
“Oh. Well, I was around. You must’ve just missed me.” A nervous laugh escapes, and I’m hoping he doesn’t press me for more details. I don’t want to admit that I was hiding from him.
“Yeah, I must have,” he says softly.
It’s colder than I expected outside, and I involuntarily shiver. For springtime it’s been surprisingly chilly in Prairie Creek.
“Here.” Cal shrugs off his jacket, draping it over my shoulders. His fingers skim the flesh on my neck, and a chill runs down my spine. My heartrate speeds up, and I find myself wanting to kiss him again.
“Thanks,” I say, my gaze lowering to the ground.
“Think your aunt and uncle will let you stay out here for a little while?”
My head snaps up. “Um…yeah. Probably.”
“Cool.” He moves over to the porch swing. When he lowers down onto it, it swings forward, the chains rattling. Looking at me, he pats the seat beside him.
Obediently, I walk over to the porch swing and sit next to him. Our thighs touch, so I scoot over swiftly. His touch stirs things inside me I don’t need to be feeling. In fact, if I’m smart I’ll tell him to leave right now. But I’ve never been known for making the smart decision.
“Your sister offered to tutor me in math,” I blurt out, unsure of what else to say. Small talk has never been my strong suit.
“Really?” His eyebrows jump up. “You gonna take her up on it?”
“Yeah, I think so.” With the toe of my shoe, I push off the ground and the porch swing rocks gently back and forth. It’s quiet out here, not a car or person for miles. Feeling chilled, I tug Cal’s jacket tighter around my body. It smells like him. I try to remember if Dusty ever gave me his jacket, but I can’t think of one time that he did.
Cal nudges me in the side. “I’d tutor you, but then you’d flunk. Emmy’s the smart one.”
I chuckle. “And here I thought you were good at everything.” Clamping my mouth shut, I scold myself for saying that. What is wrong with me? All common sense flies out the window when I’m with this guy.
He cocks one eyebrow. “You thought I was good at everything, huh?”
Blushing, I look down at my hands.
He laughs lightly. “You were almost right. I’m good at everything except math.”
This elicits a small smile from me. “Oh, yeah? That’s your one downfall? Math?”
“Yep. Now you know the worst of me.” He grins.
My insides churn. The worst thing about him is he’s bad at math? What would he do if he knew the worst about me? Probably run away so fast I’d choke on the dust he left in his wake. Feeling sick, I stand abruptly. “I better get back inside.”
His eyes flash. He stands too. “Was it something I said?” His tone is somewhat joking, but his eyes are serious.
Yes. “Um…no.” I scratch the back of my neck. “I just don’t want my aunt and uncle to worry.”
His hand closes around mine. “But they know you’re out here with me.”
My gaze drops to our hands. I like when he touches me. I like it too much. I can’t do this. “I’m sorry. I-I have to go.” Yanking my hand back, I hurry to the front door. With shaking hands, I fumble with the knob. As I do, Cal’s jacket slips from my shoulders. A shadow casts over me. Cal’s body slides against mine, his chest muscles skimming my spine. He lifts the jacket, gently placing it back on, his fingers brushing over my arms with the motion. Afterward, he leaves his hands resting on my shoulders, warmth seeping through his palms. I suck in a breath, standing still. “You can have your jacket back,” I say, my voice wavering.
“It’s okay.” He leans down, hot breath fanning my neck. My pulse spikes to dangerous levels. “You keep it.” When he releases his hands, cold skates over me.
There’s no way I can keep his jacket. Spinning around, I take it off and thrust my hand out to him. “No, that’s fine. Take it.”
He shakes his head, backing away from me. “I like it better on you.” With a smile, he clambers down the steps of the front porch. “Good night, Taylor.”
Clutching the jacket in between my fingers, I watch him get into his car. Lights flood the driveway from his headlights. They paint streaks over my body as he drives away. It’s not until he’s safely out of sight that I press the jacket to my chest, savoring the comforting feel and smell of it.
“Good night, Cal,” I whisper into the silence.
CAL
Hanging out with Taylor is like throwing a baseball back and forth. I can pretty much count on the fact that she’ll be hot and cold. That she’ll be drawn to me one minute and running away from me the next. In our few conversations, she’s become as predictable as a game of catch. But, unlike a game of catch, I find no comfort in this.
I like when she’s open, and vulnerable.
I don’t like it when she’s closed off.
It kills me. And I hate how it always seems to happen at the worst moment. Like tonight. I thought we were really connecting. Thought we were having a good conversation. That we were getting to know one another. We were bantering and laughing, and it felt good. It felt like the beginning of something.
I’d been thinking about her all day. Couldn’t get her out of my head. After baseball practice I went home and showered. I was beat, and I figured I’d turn in early. But I couldn’t shake the feeling that Taylor was gone. That her aunt and uncle had sent her back home. And that worried me.
Partly because I’d met her ex. He was bad news, and the thought of her going anywhere near him concerned me. But mostly my worry was selfish. I wasn’t lying when I told her things were boring here before she came. However, it’s not because of her ex or the drama she’s brought to town. It’s because she excites me. Her sexy body, her heart-shaped lips, her piercing eyes, her lyrical voice. Everything about her excites me. Simply being around her is an adrenaline rush for me, and I want more of that.
So that’s why I got dressed and headed to her uncle’s house. I had to know if she was still here. If she was staying. After finding out she was, I was on cloud nine.
When she shivered from the cold it was like she handed me a gift. Seeing her in my jacket was sexy as hell, and it made me want to kiss her again. I kind of thought we might, but then she put up those walls and hid behind them. Worse yet, she asked me to leave.
I still don’t know what I did wrong, but clearly something. The way she behaved was as if I offended her somehow. Or worse yet, scared her. It’s obvious to me that her ex hurt her, and she’s carrying the scars from that around with her. But I never want her to be scared of me. I never want her to compare me to him. I’m nothing like him. I’d never hurt her.
That’s why I didn’t leave right away. I had to know that we still had a connection. That she wasn’t pulling away completely.
And now I know.
The look she gave me when I let her keep my jacket was telling. Whatever is happening between us, she still feels it.
I’m not going to lie and say that any of this is normal. I mean, what kind of relationship starts because of a fake kiss? A kiss that was only meant to be a distraction?
Not to mention that Taylor is hiding from something. And if I had to take a wild guess, I’d say whatever she’s hiding from is pretty h
uge.
But I don’t care. I don’t care how crazy it all sounds. I don’t care if it doesn’t make any sense. I like her, and I want to see where things will lead with us.
As I drive home from her house, I picture her in my jacket. It practically swallowed her whole. She appeared so childlike in it, so unlike the way she seemed when I first met her. I never let girls wear my jacket. Lots of them have wanted to. Ashley being one of them. My last name was printed on the back, so it was a sure way for a girl to stake her claim.
Or for me to stake my claim on them.
That’s something I’ve never wanted to do before.
But the thought of Taylor walking around with my name on her back causes my insides to flip. Not that I think she’ll wear it in public. She doesn’t give off the impression that she wants people to know about us. When we talked in the hallway earlier, she kept looking around nervously.
However, when we were together tonight I could feel the chemistry, and it makes me wonder what she’ll be like tomorrow. Just thinking about seeing her again causes a smile to bloom on my face.
Man, what is this chick doing to me?
TAYLOR
“It seems like you’ve made more friends than just Emmy Fisher,” my uncle says when I enter the house after Cal leaves. His questioning expression makes my stomach knot. He and my aunt are sitting on the couch reading, but I assume they were mostly waiting for me to come back inside.
I shrug, grateful I’d hidden the jacket under my backpack by the front door. Seeing it might raise even more questions about my relationship with Cal. “I wouldn’t say we’re friends. We just met yesterday.”
“Well, you must be friends for him to come over here to see you,” Aunt Molly interjects. Her eyes are bright, and I know she’s dying for the inside scoop.
“I guess,” I mumble.
“Cal’s a nice boy. Comes from a nice family. But you still need to be careful,” Uncle Alex warns. “Especially, you know, with…” the words die on his lips, and he appears flustered.
I blow out a breath. “Yeah, I know. Don’t worry. There’s nothing going on there. I know it would be a bad idea for me to date anyone right now.”
“But it’s not a bad idea to make friends here,” Aunt Molly says in a cheerful voice. “And Cal Fisher would be a good friend to have.”
Uncle Alex throws her a stern look.
“What?” She says in an exasperated tone. “I’m just encouraging her to have friends.”
“I’m not sure it’s smart for her to be making friends with the opposite sex.”
I roll my eyes. What is this, a sex education class? “It’s not like I jump into bed with every guy I meet,” I snap, then instantly regret it. I’ve tried to keep a lid on my temper since coming here, but I’ve never liked being told what to do, and I like it even less right now. Cal’s a nice guy. Probably the nicest guy I’ve ever met. It’s not like I’m going to taint his pure image. I’m also not going to stop talking to him just because my aunt and uncle tell me to. It’s silly. I know what’s at stake here. I may not have made good choices in the past, but I’m changing. I’m learning from my mistakes.
“That’s not what your uncle is worried about,” Aunt Molly says gently. “He’s just trying to look out for you.”
I almost laugh out loud at what total bullshit that is. “It’s not me he’s worried about. You and I both know that.” Adrenaline pumping, I storm up the stairs. When I reach my room, I slam the door. It feels oddly satisfying to hear the loud thud as it closes. I know it’s immature to throw a fit. I’m slipping right back into my old habits, but at this moment I’m too angry to care.
My mom has always said that my anger-meter can go from zero to sixty with a mere snap of her fingers. It doesn’t take much to set me off. I’ve mellowed out since coming here, mostly because I’m not on edge all the time. Being away from Dusty and my old crowd has allowed me to breathe a little. To feel more secure.
But my uncle’s words tonight threw me off kilter. I hate being reminded of my purpose here. It makes me feel worthless, like I’m only good for one thing. And it makes me wonder if after this is all said and done, my aunt and uncle won’t want anything to do with me. I might act like I couldn’t care less about them, but that’s more to protect my heart. Truth is, I’ve always liked them. Ever since I was little. And the more time I spend with them, the more they’re growing on me.
“Taylor?” My uncle’s voice calls from outside the bedroom door.
Reluctantly, I swing the door open. “Yeah?”
“Can we talk for a minute, please?”
I always think it’s funny when adults ask if they can talk to you. It’s like they want to give you this false sense that you have a say, but you don’t. If they want to talk, they’re going to, and you have to listen whether you want to or not.
“Sure.” I move back so he can enter the room.
After stepping inside, he runs his hand over his hair, his gaze sweeping the room. “You know, Molly spent a lot of time trying to get this room just right for you.”
Without thinking, I let out a little chuckle.
“I know it’s probably not your style, but she did her best,” he adds, and it makes me feel bad. “My point is that we were both really excited for you to come stay with us, and not just for the reason you think.” Pausing, he searches my face. I wring my hands, feeling uncomfortable. What is it with everyone sharing their feelings around here? “I know you’ve been mistreated and used by a lot of people. And in my experience, when a person has been mistreated by a lot of people they assume everyone will treat them that way. But let me assure you that your aunt and I aren’t going to hurt you. We care about you, Taylor, and we want to help you. There’s no ulterior motive here.”
I want to believe him, but it all seems a little too good to be true.
As if reading my mind, he says, “I know it’s going to take some time for you to trust us, and we understand that. I just want you to keep an open mind. Can you do that?”
At this moment, I can see why he does so well as a pastor. His tone is gentle, his delivery nice and inviting. I nod. “Yeah.”
He smiles. Reaching out, he awkwardly pats my shoulder. “Good. That’s all I’m asking.”
Well, that’s not exactly true. He’s asking a little more than that.
CAL
She isn’t wearing my jacket. It’s the first thing I notice when I spot her in the school hallway. If I’d given any other girl at this school my jacket, she’d be wearing it today. She’d proudly display it for everyone to see. But not Taylor. And as much as I wanted her to wear the jacket, it also endears me to her further that she didn’t.
“What’s the matter? My jacket didn’t match your outfit?” I ask, coming up behind her while she pulls a book out of her locker.
Her shoulders stiffen. After dropping the book into her backpack, she slowly turns around. I inhale sharply when her eyes meet mine. I never understood the phrase, “she took my breath away” until now. One look into Taylor’s eyes, and the simple act of drawing air into my lungs becomes difficult. She doesn’t look like the other girls in this hallway. Her eye makeup is dark, her face pale, and her lips red. I can’t picture any of the girls I’ve dated wearing makeup like this. Most likely they’d end up looking like a clown. But Taylor can pull it off. In fact, she more than pulls it off. She owns it. “No, it didn’t.” She smiles. “I actually meant to bring it back to you today, but I forgot it at home. I can bring it by later today if you need it.”
“I don’t need it,” I say, leaning in closer to her. “You do.”
“I do?” Her eyebrows raise in a puzzled look.
“Yep.” My gaze travels down her body. “You’ll want to have something a little sportier to wear to the game tonight.”
“The game tonight?” She sounds incredulous.
I nod. “It’s at seven. Don’t be late.” Before she can respond, I swivel on my heels and hurry down the hallway. My lips edge up at
the corners as I approach my class. I would love to see the look on her face, but I don’t dare turn around. If I give her the chance to respond, I’m sure she’ll back out. She doesn’t exactly strike me as the type of girl to attend a baseball game. I doubt she even likes sports. Then again, I don’t know what she’s into. I don’t really know her at all. But I’d like to get to know her.
It’s strange just how much I crave a connection with her.
“What are you smiling about?” Chris walks up to me, one hand in his pocket.
“Just thinking about how we’re gonna kick ass in tonight’s game.”
“Yeah, we are.” Chris gives me a fist bump. Then he lowers his arm and glances over my shoulder. “Saw you talkin’ to Taylor.”
“Yeah?” I shrug. “So?” The last thing I want is the freakin’ third degree every time Chris sees me talking to Taylor.
“So nothing. Just making conversation.”
I feel like a dick. Chris is my best friend. Of course he’s curious. “I invited her to the game tonight.”
Chris’s eyebrows jump up. “Wow. This is serious.”
I wave away his words. “She probably won’t come, so it doesn’t matter.”
“You never know.” Chris smiles. “She might surprise you.”
My heart lifts at his words. I hope he’s right.
****
I’ve always sat at the same table in the cafeteria. It’s been my table since the first day of freshman year when Chris and I sat down on the bench together. Soon after, the rest of the baseball team joined us. For the most part, the group has remained the same. Sure, guys cycle in and out based on who is playing that year, who’s graduated, and who’s new. But it’s always the baseball team, their girlfriends, and some of our fans or longtime friends. Never have I ventured to sit somewhere else.
Not until today, that is.
When I spot Taylor alone in the quad, I know that I can’t stay inside the cafeteria with my friends. No way can I leave her out there by herself. She appears so lonely sitting under the tree in the middle of the grass. So I explain to Chris and Emmy where I’m going, and then head outside.
