“You knew, too, Flit. You knew from the beginning.”
“You didn’t ask...” Flit whispers, dipping behind my mother’s shoulder at my fury.
“I didn’t ask?” I shout. “How could I ask when I didn’t know anything about it?” I don’t fight the anger now. They need to be blamed. I want them to feel how I’ve been suffering. I would never keep so many secrets and lies from either of them, and they couldn’t show me the same courtesy. I push myself to my feet as the lightning strikes the mountain.
“Well,” Flit comes to stand on my mother’s shoulder, hands on hips, her tiny voice squeaking over the rumble of thunder. “How can you be mad at me for not answering a question you didn’t even ask?” I have no reply for her. My thoughts are a jumbled mess of hurt and rage. I watch the wheat part in the distance, watch the cyclone come, and think of how good it would feel to release my fury on it. I need to take these feelings out on something.
“I wish I had my sword,” I whisper to myself, and it’s suddenly there in my hand. I grip the hilt and I’m shocked when nothing happens. No screaming, no pain, no darkness. Somehow, the curse has lifted. The thought does little to calm my anger. Instead, the feel of the cool, smooth leather wrapped around the familiar handle bolsters me. I charge into the wheat with a deafening battle cry, ready to meet the terror-filled swirling shadow.
“Azi, no!” Mum cries out, and I hear her crashing in behind me, but I don’t slow my pace. The cyclone is just ahead of me. The black tendrils reach out hungrily between the golden fronds. It licks at me with a searing heat, grabbing at the fabric of my sleeve, wrapping around my arm painfully. My rage builds as I try to pull it free and swing my sword, but another tendril stretches out and grasps my other wrist. Along with the pain I’m consumed by a sensation of terror. The feeling isn’t just my own, it’s deeper. The agony of every creature ever harmed by the cyclones consumes me, embedded in the dark tendrils that bind me. I scream as it pulls me into the black, swirling abyss. I begin to spin inside of it, seeing flashes of lightning, hearing thunder and screaming, feeling torture. The wheat streaks past me in swirls of gold, and I catch a flash of blue and silver, my mother. I feel her calm aura swirl into the darkness around me as her sword arcs sideways. It finds its mark and the darkness falls away, and I tumble into the soft golden grass.
At first I can’t move. I stare up into the sky, which is slowly brightening in subtle washes of a lavender and pink sunrise. Mum moves impossibly slowly as she sheaths her sword to her back and bends to lift me. It takes what feels like a full day for her to carry me back to the edge of the forest. Everything is quiet around me. I can’t feel myself. I imagine that a part of me was left inside the cyclone, and I struggle to get away from her and retrieve it. It stole my rage, it stole my power. I wriggle desperately, but her arms are strong. She doesn’t care that I’m pleading. She lays me down and holds me there. I’m vaguely aware of Rian beside me. He’s talking, but I don’t know what he’s saying. A pink glow settles over me and my eyes start to close. Though I try hard to fight it, sleep takes me.
When I wake, I find myself nestled in the sparkling roots of a great white birch. Far above me, golden sunlight dapples through the swaying green leaves of the canopy. Now and then, a group of colored orbs drifts by. Sometimes, they pause over us and I hear a sound like a chime or a giggle, and see a flutter of a wing, and then they go along on their way again.
Rian strokes my damp hair away from my face and Flit hovers over me looking slightly frightened. Just beyond them, my mother leans against another birch and keeps an ear cocked to the distance as her healing calm pulses around us.
“Back again,” she whispers with relief, searching my eyes. I realize they’re all watching me with trepidation, as if they’re waiting for some onslaught, and I remember my rage with embarrassment.
“I’m sorry,” I say softly. “I don’t know what came over me...” part of me feels like I had every right to be angry with them, but I push it away. So they kept secrets. They were only doing what they felt was right at the time. I’m ashamed of myself for losing my temper so quickly and acting so irrationally. One of the orbs dips low enough to rest on a root beside me. I turn my head to focus on it but it darts away, leaving behind a delicious looking, juicy pink berry. I watch it float up again and join with another one, and they giggle and fly away together.
“Are they fairies?” I ask, reaching for the berry. I scoot up to sit against the tree trunk and inspect the plump fruit. My mouth waters.
“Yep!” Flit says.
“Is it safe to eat?” I ask, suddenly realizing how hungry I am.
“Sure it is! They know you’re here to help us. They’ve been bringing you presents all morning.” She gestures to the carpet of grass surrounding the roots and I gaze in wonder. They’re piled with a colorful assortment of everything from berries to fruits to garlands of flowers. My mother smiles.
“I had the same reception, once things settled down,” she says. “They really are lovely little people.” I pop the berry into my mouth. It’s so sweet and delicious that I find myself looking around for another in the scatter of presents. I push myself to my feet and tiptoe around the grass, picking them up as I go. With each bite I feel a little more of my troubles disappear, and my spirits lift. Once my belly is full, I feel like I can accomplish anything. I drop down next to Rian with a grin and offer him a handful. He accepts and he and my mother feast on them, too. By the time we’re finished, we’re all laughing together, and all of the things that have been troubling me feel as distant as Cerion itself.
“Now everyone’s happy, right?” Flit grins, her teeth stained disturbingly pink from the juices. “No more shouting, no more crying.”
“For now,” Rian says, laughing softly. “But it’s obvious Kythshire has an effect on us. I was ready to blast you with a wind gust and throw you against a tree before you ran off, Azi.” His smile fades a bit as he reaches out to a passing orb. “As amazing as it is, we don’t belong here.”
“It does take a great deal of self-control to keep it from affecting you,” Mum says. “Even with my calming meditation I find my thoughts slipping irrationally more often than I’d like. It’s as if the very air makes you drunk with emotion.” I realize that she’s right. Even with my untrained senses, I can feel the magic thick around me here. Just now, I was so easily amused by our beautiful surroundings, and at the edge of the forest I was so quick to anger. I remember wishing for my sword, feeling it in my hands. I sit back on my heels and look around the little clearing for it, but it isn’t here.
“What are you searching for?” Rian asks, following my eyes to the grass.
“My sword,” I say. “I had it in the field, before the cyclone swallowed me.” He and my mother exchange a worried glance.
“Azi, you were unarmed.” Mum says softly. “You just charged out there like...” she trails off, shaking her head.
“Like you were offering yourself to it.” Rian watches me with concern. “You can’t wield a sword, remember?” My heart sinks. I remember it so clearly, the feel of the sword in my hand, the weight of it as I swung it, the tendrils catching my arms. I try to look at it differently, to imagine that I was empty handed, but I can’t.
“But I did,” I whisper, gazing at the green grass. “I was so relieved,” I say. “I thought the curse was broken.” I’m suddenly overwhelmed with sadness but then I remember what my mother said about this place. I focus on her pulsing calm, and I push it away.
“Let’s play!” says Flit suddenly, startling me.
“Oh great,” Rian groans and rolls his eyes. Mum chuckles.
“Okay, you go first, Flit.” I say as I lean back against the trunk of the tree comfortably. Rian settles in beside me. I’m beginning to learn that when Flit asks to play, it usually means she has something she wants to tell me.
“Well,” she starts as she comes to perch on the toe of my boot. “You wished for a sword, and then you believed you got one, and then yo
u believed you used it, and you believed you weren’t cursed anymore. So how come you changed your mind when these two disagreed with you?” I look from her, to Rian, to my mother, thinking.
“I don’t know, I just...I trust them. I believe them. Why shouldn’t I?”
“Because you need to believe in yourself, first. Think about it. That will get you into trouble here.” She shakes her head, sending her multicolored ponytails swaying, and asks. “You believe in them more than you believe your own eyes and your own hands?” I look down at my hands and then over to my mother. My eyes trail to the sword at her back and I flex my fingers. It seemed so real.
“What are you saying, Flit?” Rian narrows his eyes. “That Azi wished for a sword and got it, and Lisabella and I are both lying about it?”
“Uh-uh,” Flit shakes her head and wiggles her finger. “It’s Azi’s turn to answer.” Rian rolls his eyes.
“I don’t know what I believe now,” I say. “It’s all so confusing. Is the curse broken, or not?”
“It is,” Flit shrugs, “or it isn’t. Here in Kythshire, it’s all about what’s up here.” She flies up and points a tiny finger to my forehead. “And there.” She points a little lower, to my heart. “You all say it’s confusing here, that this world has some effect on you. But all Kythshire does is show you what’s truly in your heart. You can have whatever you want and do whatever you desire here. Sure, you have to be careful. Your choices still affect everyone around you. If your heart is kind, you don’t have to worry about it so much. But if you are a cruel person, you can cause a lot of destruction. If you’re just trying to help, though, and you ask for a sword, then you should be able to use it, right?” I think over her words as I watch a glowing pink orb drift by.
“Right...” I say, beginning to understand. “You’re saying that I lifted the curse myself, just by wishing for the sword so I could battle the cyclone. But then why didn’t Rian and Mum see that I had it?”
“Because they still believed you couldn’t do it. Maybe they didn’t hear your wish, or maybe they were too distracted by your yelling.”
“Wait a moment,” Rian interrupts again. “You’re saying that we can just wish for something, anything, and we’ll just get it? But others can’t see it unless they believe it, too?” he shakes his head. “That doesn’t make any sense. You either have something or you don’t have it.”
“Just like faith.” She sticks out her tongue at him. “You either have it or you don’t. Whether or not it makes sense is entirely up to you, Mage. I’m just telling you how it works.” She turns to me. “Rian ruined the game by interrupting. I win!” I shake my head, speechless, but I think I understand. I push myself to my feet and cross to Mum.
“Can I borrow your sword?” I ask her. She looks at me for a moment and pulls the weapon from its sheath, offering it to me. Its blue glow illuminates my hands as I close them around the hilt. I feel a rush of peace as I swing it slowly between us. My heart swells and laughter bubbles in my chest as I turn to Rian to show him. His smile seems forced, but I don’t dwell on it. Instead I practice a long combination of thrusts and blocks and slashes, so relieved by how easily it comes back to me that I barely notice Rian get to his feet and walk away.
“Azi,’ Mum says quietly after a while, resting a hand on my shoulder. She holds her other one out for the sword and I return it to her a little reluctantly. “I have to get back to the field,” she smiles. “You have work to do, too.” She nods off into the forest and I realize that Rian has wandered out of sight. I find myself torn between the two of them for a moment, and I vaguely remember that I came here to do something important. Bits of my conversation with Flit and Twig at the palace drift into my memory. They seem like a dream now, so far away.
“I was coming to take your place,” I say, remembering. “Rian and I were going to warn the guild of the attack, and then I was going to find a way to get through the border to relieve you. So you could go home to Da.” She steps closer to me and takes my face gently in her hands. Her blue eyes mirror my own, sparkling with tears, and her smile is filled with such love that I feel it like a cloak around my shoulders, soft and warm. She doesn’t say a word, but when she embraces me, I’m reminded of her carrying me out of the wheat.
In my mind I see her standing vigil at the edge of the forest, her sword glowing blue. The cyclones come one after another carrying terror within them, and each is sliced in two by her blade. I remember the dream I had the first time I saw them, when I was the size of a fae and she turned to look at me and she was me. The image is clear in my mind, but I realize it was never me. It was always her. Her peace pulses around her steadily, calming her, keeping her head level. She’s more suited to that duty than I am.
“Could you really stay here, simply battling the dark cyclones, knowing what’s causing them, and knowing that there is a larger threat out there? Could you keep your head, knowing who might be risking their lives to the forces at play? We all have our places. Your part in this is much bigger than mine,” she whispers. “Believe in yourself. Trust Flit. The fairies are difficult to understand at times, but they are kindhearted, and they need you.”
She leans back and searches my eyes again, and I force a smile through my own tears. My heart knows that what she’s saying is true, but still, I don’t want to leave her here. As though she can read my thoughts, she tips her forehead to mine. “It’s easy enough to find me,” she says. “Just think of me, like you did before. As long as we’re both in Kythshire, you’ll find me. For now, Rian needs you, and the fairies, they need you.”
“Okay,” I manage, brushing my tears away. I try to do as she says, to believe in myself, but right now all I want is to stay here with her, washed in her peace, and let everything else fade away. I tighten my embrace, and I’m so reluctant to let go that my mother has to finally pull herself away from me.
“I love you, Azi,” she says. “I’m proud of you.” She kisses my cheek and smiles again, and then she closes her eyes, and she’s gone. With the sudden absence of her calming pulse comes a rush of sorrow so powerful that my knees go weak.
“She didn’t even let me say goodbye,” I croak. I start to drop down into the grass but a tiny finger under my chin stops me. Flit’s touch sends a tingle through me all the way to my toes. The strength in my knees returns and my eyes are dazzled by the prisms of her wings as the fairy flutters up to my eye-level.
“Because it isn’t goodbye, not really.” Her smile is contagious, and despite my tears, I smile back. “That’s better,” she says. “Let’s go find Rian. Then, I have someone you need to meet.”
Chapter Eighteen: The Bargain
As Flit and I move deeper into the forest in search of Rian, I can’t help but be amazed by its strange beauty. Giant mushrooms of every shape and color sprinkle the forest floor. The trees are adorned with fluffy blossoms of every color. The morning dew sparkles in the golden sunlight that streams through the canopy. Flit glides along beside me, unusually quiet. My boots and trousers grow soaked with dew as I scan the grass for Rian’s path, but there’s no sign of anyone passing this way. Just when I begin to feel slightly panicked that I might not be able to find him in this vast forest, I realize I’ve been going about it the wrong way.
“Why didn’t you say anything?” I ask Flit, laughing.
“I wanted to see how long it’d take you to figure it out! Go on, then.” she perches on my shoulder as I close my eyes and think of Rian.
The ground shifts beneath us and falls away, and then I feel Rian’s arms catch me. His laughter is drowned out by the rushing wind as we soar high above Kythshire. I cling to him and squeeze my eyes shut as we rise. The height invokes memories of Dacva and his gang dangling me over the cliff wall, and as we climb even higher I try hard not to imagine the sickening thud my body would make or the crack of my bones if I was to plummet to the ground so far below us.
“Isn’t it beautiful?” he asks, oblivious to the chatter of my teeth. I’m not sure whether
I’m shaking from the chill wind or my own terror, but either way squeezing him tighter and burying my head into his chest seems to help.
“Where is it, Flit? I want to see...” Rian swoops even higher.
“You can’t,” Flit cries from somewhere beside us, “you shouldn’t!”
“Is that the ocean to the west?” Oblivious to her protests, Rian speeds our pace.
“It’s the ocean, watch out for the Guardian!” I turn my head and peek for just long enough to see the torso of an enormous man forming from the sands of the beach. It rises up, watching us, and Rian laughs as we swoop past.
“Amazing!” he cries.
“Please, Rian,” I’m ashamed by the pathetic whimper in my plea as I close my eyes again. My heart is racing so fast that I fear I might suffer an attack. I need to get down.
“Look, Azi, your favorite.” The grass brushes my feet as we speed along, and behind us we leave a trail of bright yellow roses in our wake. “Or would you rather pink?” As he says the words, the roses we leave change to pink. “It has to be close, I can feel it.” He rises up again and I can’t hold back my sob as I press my face against him again.
“Rian, please listen!” Flit cries again as our speed increases so that my skin feels as though it might be torn from my bones.
“There,” he whispers with awe, and we skid to a stop so quickly that my stomach lurches. I drop to my knees in the moss, immensely grateful to be back on the ground. As my fingers push into the spongy green I look out over the vast, quiet, perfectly round pool of glittering gold. The dazzling sparkle of the surface lures me. I have to touch it. Distantly I’m aware of Flit’s protests, but I don’t care. This is power. True power. With it I could have anything. Do anything. Rule anyone. I come to the very edge, reach my hand out, and then I feel Flit’s soft touch on my cheek and suddenly I’m sprawling away.
Call of Kythshire (Keepers of the Wellsprings Book 1) Page 21
