Wyatt and I followed the direction of his gaze. But while they might have been seeing the aftermath of one hell of a beat down, all I could see were Sarah’s eyes. They were all I ever wanted to see again, for the rest of my life.
And that was when I knew. Sarah Miller was it for me. And I would go through hell itself to get her back.
22
Sarah
I could barely put into coherent words the bloodshed I’d just witnessed.
I had never before seen anything so violent; not in my entire life—and I never wanted to see it again. My stomach was still flip-flopping when it was all over. I still didn’t quite understand what had happened, and part of me wasn’t even sure that I wanted to.
I looked to Hannah for guidance, but her face was tight, pale, and drawn. She looked just as disturbed as Beth and I were. I couldn’t blame her, but I also couldn’t help feeling like she knew something about this that we didn’t. That there was more to this story than just four crazy thugs showing up to give us a hard time.
Especially when one of them had tried to pull me into God-knows-where a few days ago.
Ash stalked over to her. Maybe we were thinking on the same wavelength, because he hissed in her ear none too quietly: “What the fuck, Hannah?”
“I don’t know, okay?” she whispered in reply, her teeth muffling the sound. “I don’t fucking know…”
But it was clear from the look they gave one another that they both knew something about why this had happened. They just weren’t giving it up. There were so many lies and secrets between all of us. Ever since Beth and I had come here, that was all we’d run into—people trying to hide their intentions. I’d had enough of it. Especially if disasters like this were what I had to look forward to.
“I can’t,” I said, pulling away from Beth. I wasn’t sure who I was speaking to—maybe just myself—but the words came anyway, unbidden, from my throat. “I can’t right now.”
And then, heedless of running straight into more danger, I walked straight into the woods where Beth and I had nearly been assaulted just moments before.
I needed to think. I needed peace and quiet. I needed somewhere I could suss out everything that had happened over the past several days—a respite where I could listen to my heart, my soul, and my mind all at once.
For a second time, I was denied that—Reid came crashing through the brush behind me, his mouth swollen and bleeding, his nose turning purple along the bridge.
“Sarah—Jesus, are you nuts? You can’t just walk off like that after…”
“You can’t be serious,” I murmured, cutting him off. It was just too ludicrous to imagine—the very idea that Reid might think he could tell me what to do, after all he’d done to me, was the most unfathomably stupid thing I’d ever dreamt up. “You can’t really think you have any right to dictate what I can and can’t do.”
“If it keeps you safe?” Reid said, snorting at my silence. “Then fuck yeah, I do.”
“You’re not my caretaker,” I reminded him, trudging further between the trees. “Not anymore. You won your stupid, heartless bet—or was there more to it than I overheard? Is there a second goal, like… like seeing how pissed you can make me?”
I heard the grin in Reid’s voice, even though I couldn’t see him. “Pissed, huh? Damn, Sarah, profanity sounds downright angelic comin’ out of your mouth.”
I turned over my shoulder and scowled at him. But before I could indulge in some serious filth, he held up his hands disarmingly. “You know it’s not like that. I called the bet off. I never should’ve made it in the first place. That was a mistake made by a different man than who I am now, about a girl he didn’t even know. And I said I was sorry…”
“No, actually, you didn’t,” I reminded him, stopping near a tree to catch my breath. I could walk much longer distances than this, but I was dizzy and my heart was pounding from watching seven men beat each other half to death. I put my hand on my stomach, finding my center of gravity, willing my knees not to buckle. “Not really. In fact, if I’m remembering correctly, you told me this was never a long-term thing for you. That I had the wrong idea from the beginning—even though you were the one who’d put that idea in my head.” I felt a spark of anger rise up inside me, stinging my eyes with hot tears. “You were a complete and total ass, and—”
“I know, Sarah,” Reid said softly, lowering his hands. “You’re right, I totally am. Saying that was the biggest pile of bullshit that has ever come out of my mouth, and I’ll regret it for the rest of my life.”
It took me a moment to fully digest those words. At first, I thought I might be hallucinating. Surely, I couldn’t have heard him correctly. “…wait, what?”
Reid took a few steps toward me, sighing as he wiped the blood from his mouth with the back of his wrist. “You’re right. About me and about everything else. You can see right fucking through me. You’re as innocent as a lamb, and yet…” He shook his head. “You read me like an open book. You don’t put up with my shit, and that’s not just something I want in a woman—that’s something I need to be a man.” He took a deep breath. “And there’s something else, too.”
Slowly, Reid closed the distance between us until there was only a foot of space left. I felt compelled to back away, but at the same time, this closeness between us… I’d missed it. It had only been a few hours since I’d held him in my arms, and yet it felt like decades. Caught between fear and desire, I hesitated. It gave Reid all the time he needed to reach out and take my hands in his.
“I am sorry, Sarah,” he said, looking into my eyes. “For all of it. For everything I said and did. For all the lies I told. For the way you had to find out. For making that stupid, ridiculous, childish bet in the first place.” He brushed his thumbs across my knuckles. “But you have to know… I also meant it when I told you things had changed. That I… have feelings for you. I want you around, and not just because of the sex—though that’s a pretty damn good reason to want you by my side.” I blushed, and he chuckled a little. “The most important thing, Sarah, is that you make me a better man. And there’s nobody else in all the world who makes me feel the way you do.
“It’s true, the way this relationship started was based on a horrible lie, but you know what? Because of who I used to be, just a few days ago, if it wasn’t for that bet I probably would have never even spoken to you in the first place. So I can’t regret it completely. Even if you never want to speak to me again, no one can take away the last few days we’ve spent together, and those were all completely true. My feelings for you are genuine, and I’ve learned that I’m a much better person with you in my life.”
Something in his eyes told me that everything he was saying was true, but I still couldn’t believe that they were being said about me. I wasn’t sure what to say, but he wasn’t quite finished.
“So here I am, telling you I know I was stupid and groveling at your feet. No pride. No ego. Just us.” He squeezed my fingers. “I know I don’t deserve it, but I have to ask anyway. I won’t let you go without a fight. So… can you forgive me? Please?”
This man was different from the Reid I’d first met—the Reid who’d made a bet about me and my virginity, as well as that of my sisters. The Reid who had possessed no qualms about ruining my reputation for the sake of his own. That Reid seemed a distant memory now. Here, before me, was the man I’d always known he could be. The man whose glittering eyes had drawn me in and whose arms had promised to never let me go. The man I wanted to be with more than anything else in the world.
I’d thought, for a moment, he was an illusion. But now I saw that the old Reid was the imposter. This was the real one. This was who he was when all his walls came crumbling down.
“Yes,” I said, surprising even myself. “I can forgive you. I do forgive you.”
Reid stared at me a moment, licking the blood off his lips. He’d taken quite a beating for me—to protect me. He said, “Can you give me another chance?”
I nodded silently. Then I leaned up on tip-toe and lightly kissed his mouth, tasting his wounds. He grunted softly, but didn’t pull away from me. He just bent down to press our foreheads together and held me close, like I was the most precious woman in all the world. And when I was with him, that was exactly how I felt.
“I missed you,” I said. I knew it hadn’t been long. I knew that it was silly. But it was the truth.
Reid placed his chin on the top of my head. I heard the rumble in his chest when he told me, “I missed you too.”
I let out a sigh of relief. Sure, I had it bad for Reid Brody… but evidently, we had it bad for each other. And that was something I could hold on to.
We walked back to the common area hand-in-hand, and for a few moments, all the pain and torment was forgotten. When we broke through the trees, however, we were abruptly reminded of what had come to pass—the men who had attacked us were gone, and so were Beth and Wyatt.
I looked over at Hannah. “What’s going on?” I asked her.
She was standing near Ash, neither of them touching, their body language tense. When she turned to me, it was only her head that moved. Her green eyes were glassy and far away, but I noticed them flick down to take in how tightly I was clutching onto Reid’s hand and for a moment I thought I saw a brief smile flash across her face, but it was gone before I could be sure. “The guys dragged their leader off, and Beth and Wyatt are in the house. She’s… she’s upset, Sarah. We all are.” She closed her eyes. “We’re all shaken up.”
“I don’t blame you,” Reid said, squeezing my hand gently. “And that’s why I think I should take Sarah back to my apartment for a while. If those assholes come back, splitting up will make you and your sisters harder to find.”
I frowned, thinking of Wyatt’s suggestion back before the fight began. All this talk of those men coming back for us made me wish Beth had been able to call the police.
Hannah said, “To be honest with you both… I don’t think they’ll be back.” She chewed on the inside of her cheek. “I know those guys. Sort of. They were sent by our father, Sarah. They were meant to bring you and Beth home. That asshole leading the charge was the same dickhead Father sent after me when I ran away from home. I barely got away. Guess he brought friends this time.” She shook her head, staring up at the sky. “They always think it’ll be so easy. But now they know it’s not, and the last thing Father needs is to draw attention to his little community. I’m pretty sure that’s the last we’ll see of them. And the last we’ll hear of Father, too.”
I blanched and felt woozy again. “Wait—Father sent them? How does he even know men like that? They weren’t Amish, were they?” Hannah slowly slid her gaze to meet mine, though she didn’t provide me with any answers. “Wh-why would he have sent them to grab us? And… and does this mean we can’t go home again? Answer me, sister. Please!”
“I can’t,” she said softly. “Not right now, okay? But I promise, Sarah, someday—soon, I hope—I’ll explain everything to you. Why those men were here. What they had to do with Father. Why I can never go home.” She looked at Ash. “Just… not today. Okay? Today, you just need to trust me. Even if I don’t deserve it.” I could see her eyes were filling with tears. “There’s nothing I have done in my whole life that hasn’t been about protecting you, and that’s not about to change now.”
Ash’s hard gaze softened. He wrapped his arms around Hannah’s shoulders, drawing her close to him and kissing her hair. There was a tenderness about them in that moment that I hadn’t expected to see, a warmth between them that told me there was more to their relationship than just sex. I was happy for them. Really. But I was also scared and confused.
“You should go with Reid, anyway,” Ash said, still enveloping Hannah in his titan embrace. “Just in case. We’ll go talk to Beth and make sure she’s okay. For now, let’s play it safe and make sure that if those assholes do come back, we don’t make it easy for them. Sound good?”
Reid nodded. He looked at me. “You on board, darlin’?”
I looked up into his face. The last time we’d spent any time together in close quarters, we’d ended up making love. Twice. Among other things…
Was that something I could risk doing again? Was that kind of intimacy something I was ready for, after all we’d been through?
After a moment’s hesitation, I nodded at him. “I’m in. Let’s go.”
23
Reid
We rode in silence back to my apartment. I didn’t even bother putting the radio on, because we didn’t need noise. There was nothing we needed but each other, and we’d come to that realization at exactly the same time. As the road rushed by beneath the Shelby’s tires, Sarah put her hand on top of mine on the gear shift and we just… drove. No one said a word. Neither of us felt compelled to fill the silence. Because between us, the quiet was comfortable. And that was how I knew Sarah was the one for me.
I didn’t have to perform for her. I didn’t have to be entertaining or interesting at all times. I didn’t have to be some bad boy mystery for her to unwrap. We could just sit, like this, and ponder the open road together. It was something I’d been missing in every relationship I’d had before her, and now that I’d found it, I was never letting go.
I helped Sarah carry her things into my apartment. She didn’t have much—just what she’d brought with her to the cabin, salvaged from the back of Hannah’s car before we’d driven over here—but it still felt significant to me for her things to be at my place. Like part of her was already moving in here, already carving out a space. I liked it, even though it scared me. I’d had plenty of women in my bed over the years, but I’d never let one into my heart before.
Shit, I thought as realization dawned on me. I was her first, and in a way, she’s been mine.
Sarah didn’t sit on the couch. She didn’t offer to make food, and she didn’t stand awkwardly in front of me like she had no idea what to do with herself. Instead, she headed straight for my bedroom, gliding across the hardwood floors like a ghost. I followed her, curious, as she sat down on the edge of my bed and stared at her hands, clasped in her lap.
“You okay?” I asked her, leaning against the doorframe.
Sarah shook her head, and as I started toward her, she answered, “I wish I could be more like you.”
That stopped me dead in my tracks. I raised an eyebrow at her. “Tall, dark, and handsome—with a big dick?”
She shot me a look through her lashes. It damn near melted my pants off me. “No,” she said, a little tersely. “Fearless. Brave.”
Gently, I sat down beside her. “What makes you think you aren’t already those things?”
Sarah snorted. “Because I’m scared—all the time. I’ve been afraid ever since I got here. Heck, maybe I’ve been afraid my whole life, in one way or another. Every time I close my eyes lately, I feel like I’m at the top of one of those tall oak trees, and I can’t get down. I don’t know how to stop myself from feeling this way. It’s just… always there, in the back of my mind.” She blew out a breath. “Especially since I know now that Father was the one who sent those men after me. After us.”
I nodded thoughtfully. “Yeah. Seems like he set things in motion right after you left—that one guy was from the fair, and Hannah said she’d had a run-in with him in the past. What the hell is going on there?”
She threw her hands up, then let them fall back down against her thighs. “I have no idea. And that’s what scares me most of all—that I have no clue what’s going on around me. I’m a stranger here, and stranger still, everything I left behind might be… some kind of fraud. Everything I believed in might be wrong.” She looked up at me. “Have you ever felt that way, Reid?”
I turned away to study my hands. Mostly, the dirt and blood beneath my nails. “Yeah. I have, actually. I felt that way when I found out who my dad really was. What a fucking scumbag he’d been, all those years. The shit he did, Sarah…” I trailed off. She was stressed as it was—she didn’t
need me talking about something horrible and adding to it. I cleared my throat. “Anyway… yeah. I’ve felt just like you feel now.”
“How do I fix it?” she asked me. “How do I make it stop?”
I let my gaze find hers again. Honestly, I answered, “I’m sorry, darlin’, but I really don’t know.”
We lapsed into another silence, though this one seemed heavier than the last. After a few moments, I put my arm around her and drew her near, kissing the top of her head. Sarah seemed to like that; she put her hand on my chest and left it there, right over my heart. I smiled into her strawberry-blonde locks. “All I know is that I’m gonna protect you. Keep you safe. All right? For now, is that something you can live with?”
Gingerly, Sarah traced a path down the center of my chest through my shirt. “I think so,” she said. “Because to tell you the truth, Reid… the only thing that feels right… the only time I feel okay at all…” She looked up at me. “Is when you’re inside of me.” She bit her lip. “Is that… wrong of me? Am I bad?”
My heart broke for her. “No, darlin’. You’re not wrong or bad.” I tipped her chin up with a finger. “Not at all.”
And I kissed her lips, softly but surely. If being inside Sarah was what made her feel better, that was exactly what I was going to do. I’d give her what she craved. We both needed it. And I couldn’t deny either of our urges any longer.
Because the truth was that the only time I felt right, or sane, lately… was when I was inside her, too.
The way I took her then was different from how I’d had her before. I’d started off slow, but the sounds she made into my mouth spurred me on, coaxing me to touch her harder, faster—to plunge into her up to the hilt and let her feel every inch of me. We were a tangle of flesh and desire, our limbs jumbled in a way that made me feel like I couldn’t remember where I ended and she began. Our hearts seemed to beat in time, our panting breaths mingling in the air between us. When she threaded her fingers through my hair, the pain was exquisite. I wanted more. I knew she wanted more.
PRIDE: A Bad Boy and Amish Girl Romance (The Brody Bunch#1) Page 17
