“Seriously?” said Jase. He perched on his elbow and looked at her.
“When you put a goddamn ring on it,” she said with a laugh. Jase mussed up her hair. It was the response she always gave him when he asked about moving in. She waited just a beat before she tacked on the new part. “And if we’re moving into some place that’s not in LeBeau.”
When he didn’t answer right away, she looked up at his eyes. Some part of her knew he might be resistant, but truth be told, the bigger part of her heart which held his love had no fear until she saw that worried sternness in his jade-colored eyes.
Jase took a deep breath. “You’re still on about this?”
“About moving away? Yeah, I’m still ‘on about it’,” said Maggie. “Did you think I wasn’t serious when I brought it up before?”
Jase sighed and rolled over onto his back. Maggie felt her heart start to ache when he threw his legs off the side of the bed and checked his phone.
“Jase, don’t ignore me,” she said.
Jase turned half around. “I’m sorry. I’m not trying to ignore you. I’ve just heard this before. Every time you and Henry have a fight, you talk about getting out of here.”
His words stung. He made her sound so reactionary and emotional. “That’s not what this is.”
“Then what is it? Why do you want to get away from here so bad, Maggie? I don’t get it.”
“Yes you do, you just don’t agree with it.”
“You’re right, I don’t. Henry has only ever made my life better, and you’re asking me to feel exactly the opposite about him—and break my commitment to the club by leaving,” said Jase. He stood up and put on his boxers.
Maggie sat up. “I’m not asking you to feel differently about Henry. How could I? I just… don’t you get it, Jase, that the Henry you know and the Henry I know are not the same man? He gives you the world, and every opportunity, but he can’t push me away from all of it fast enough. He acts like I didn’t grow up in that fucking clubhouse right alongside you.”
“You’re his daughter, of course he’s going to treat you differently from some stray kid he picked up.” Maggie could hear the tone in his voice had gone to a bitter place. “But he’s never let you want for anything. Hell, he’d probably let you live here until you’re a senior citizen.”
“That’s not the same thing as love,” said Maggie, shifting up onto her knees. “Giving me an easy place to live only makes sure I owe him obedience to his rules. He doesn’t care what I want—only what he wants. And he wants me to be with some normal person with an office job, a boring husband, and a weekend hobby.”
Jase stood at the end of the bed, clearly frustrated, but unable to find the words for it. He put his hands on his thin waist and shook his head. Maggie crawled up to him and leaned against his chest. He put one arm around her back with a light touch.
“He’s not going to let this keep on, Jase,” she said in a quiet voice. “You’re becoming his golden boy at the MC, but he wants me as far away from it as he can get me. You can’t honestly tell me you haven’t noticed what’s been going on since we got together…”
“We’ve been together a long time,” said Jase. He wouldn’t look at her.
“As friends, yes. And he was fine with that. But the second we crossed that line…”
Jase shook his head but said nothing.
“He’s kept you as busy as possible with club stuff. He’s kept me here as much as he can, and when you’re not here, he makes very clear that he isn’t happy about us. Haven’t you noticed that every time you stop by when he’s here, he finds some way to get you out of the house quickly? I mean, why are you even here right now, Jase? You have work in less than six hours.”
“It was the only time we…” he trailed off.
“It was the only time we could find where Henry wouldn’t be around,” said Maggie for him. “Where we knew he would be busy and we could steal a few hours. Is that how you want this to be—us forever sneaking around my dad?”
“If you moved in with me, this wouldn’t be happening,” said Jase. “He couldn’t stop us then.”
“He’s your president, Jase. He’s my dad. And he practically owns this town. Moving in together isn’t going to make those relationships magically disappear.”
Jase sighed. “What are you trying to say, Maggie? What do you want?”
“I want you to move away with me,” she said. “Let’s go find a new start somewhere else, away from all of this. Let’s have our own lives.” She ran her hands up his chest and looked up at his face with hopeful eyes.
Instead, she saw only pain on his face. “Maggie…” Jase took her hands in his. “My whole life is here. My friends are here. My mom wouldn’t have anyone else if I left.”
In all her imagining of this moment, Maggie had not prepared herself for this. She thought she had, but she discovered a level of pain for which she had no name “Don’t you love me?” said Maggie, unable to stop the tears surfacing in her eyes.
“Of course I do,” said Jase. He kissed her hands with fervor and looked into her eyes. “Of course. I love you. That’s why I want you to stay and make a life with me here.”
“Jase, what if I can’t? What if Henry won’t let us?” she said.
“He will. We’ll make—“ Jase was interrupted by the sound of a motorcycle rumbling down the neighborhood street. Both he and Maggie froze and looked at each other. “What is he doing coming back this early?” said Jase.
Maggie saw the look on his face, and gave him a sarcastic one of her own. “I thought we didn’t have anything to worry about from him?”
Jase frowned and made a soft, grumpy noise at her. He walked over to the window and stuck his fingers between the blinds to get a look outside. Maggie stood behind him with her arms crossed and listened to the bike pull into the driveway and park.
“Oh,” said Jase as he let out a breath. “It’s not your dad, it’s just Will.”
“Like that’s any better,” said Maggie as she moved to put some clothes on. Jase was right behind her, stepping into his jeans and fumbling his white shirt over his head. By the time he had his cut on, they could hear Will’s soft knocking on the front door. “What’s he doing here?”
“How should I know?” said Jase. “I’ve been busy the last few hours.” He nuzzled up to her as she pulled her hair out of her shirt. As upset as she felt, she couldn’t resist his embrace, but the kisses she gave him were short. She followed Jase down the hall to the front door.
Will leaned patiently against the porch railing, chewing on a toothpick and staring into the dark sky. He turned to them with a smile. “Hi, guys. I’m sorry to interrupt.”
“Everything okay?” said Jase as he straightened his cut.
Will tossed the toothpick into the garden as he straightened. “Henry’s been looking for you, he needs you for something, but you weren’t picking up your phone.”
“Yeah, I turned it off,” said Jase. “For a reason.”
“Well, he’s… insistent,” said Will with a soft shrug. “I said I might know where you were.”
Maggie stepped up to the doorway. “You didn’t tell him, did you?”
Will shook his head, pursing his lips. “Not that you two are a secret, or anything. But I think we all have an unspoken code to, uh… move around the facts.”
“How’s that?” said Maggie.
In a bit of embarrassment, Will’s lopsided smile made an appearance. “I think Henry knows exactly where Jase is when he’s not answering his phone, and he doesn’t mind me offering to be the one to possibly catch you in the act.”
Maggie sighed heavily. Next to her, Jase said. “He really needs me to come right now?”
“Captain’s orders,” said Will.
“You don’t say,” Maggie said in a flat voice. She felt emotions rising and turned away from the men at the door. She heard Jase speak softly to Will for a few moments.
Jase came up behind her as she stared at the dark livin
g room fireplace and wrapped his arms around her shoulders. He nuzzled into the side of her hair and kissed her. “I’m sorry, he says it’s important.”
“Shocker.”
He held her tighter, as if his embrace could wipe away the truth. Maggie felt tears running down her cheek and wiped them away nonchalantly. In the dark, he couldn’t see.
“Just stay with me,” said Jase into her ear. “I don’t want to lose you. You’re my world, you know that don't you?” He squeezed her again. “You have been my world for a very long time.”
Despite herself, Maggie sighed and nuzzled into him. She planted a few tiny kisses on the side of his warm face. “You’re mine, too.”
He held her for a few more moments before he released her, leaving her feeling as cold as she ever had.
Maggie trailed Jase to the front door like a ghost, clinging to his hand. Before he walked out, he turned and kissed her deeply. “Just hang on for me, okay? Things will smooth out.”
Even though she didn’t believe that, Maggie gave him a tight, teary smile, and a nod. She said nothing, only kissed him on the side of his mouth.
“I love you.”
“I love you too,” she said.
After one last lingering embrace, Jase finally pulled away from her and headed down the porch steps towards the driveway. Will was already on his bike; he gave a smile and a wave up to Maggie, and she returned it. Jase climbed on his waiting bike, shiny and chrome under the steady glare of the streetlights. She felt her heart race a little at the sound of them revving up, and waved at her biker boyfriend one last time as he backed out of the drive.
As they pulled away, Maggie’s face turned to look down the hallway towards her room. Under the bed, she could see the shadow of the suitcase she had already half-packed. She stared at it as she listened to the bikes disappear into the night.
1
Five Years Later
Just breathe. Deep breath, girl. You’re not about to walk into a gunfight.
Her own advice was useless. As soon as her SUV passed by the sunny yellow sign welcoming her into the town of LeBeau, Maggie felt her heart begin to pound in her chest like an angry drum line. She gripped the steering wheel tightly and tried to focus on the road. It was a beautiful spring day and despite the town’s small population, the streets bustled with activity. She wondered if it had been a particularly terrible winter. The folks seemed eager to be out in the sun and warmth. She didn’t feel the same. She wanted nothing more than to find a cold, dark cave to crawl into and never come out.
It had been over five years since she’d been back in her hometown. Five years, and yet hardly anything looked different. Cleaner, maybe; there was a sparkle to the place she didn’t remember from before. But maybe that was just nostalgia shining up the ugly parts of her memory… of which there were plenty. She noticed a new-fangled, big box supermarket chain on Vine Street and wondered how hard her father had fought to keep that monstrosity out of town. Wasn’t hard enough, apparently. The parking lot was bustling with shoppers who seemed to be enjoying it well enough. She thought she saw an old friend from high school, Misty Walters, loading up groceries into a minivan stuffed with three screaming kids. She couldn’t help but snicker at that, and it made her mood just a little bit lighter.
Lighter, that is, until she pulled up to a stoplight right next to four men on motorcycles, wearing the black leather cuts of her father’s club, the Black Dogs. She stole what glances she dared from behind her sunglasses, to see if she recognized any of them. Or worse—to see if any of them recognized her. The SUV was new, but Maggie didn’t feel like she looked that much different than she had years ago. As the light seemed to linger on into eternity, she finally turned nonchalantly to examine the men. One of them met her gaze. He smiled approvingly and nodded his head, but it wasn’t a smile that said he actually recognized her. The other three couldn’t have cared less, staring straight ahead as their bikes rumbled like wild dogs beneath them. Maggie didn’t recognize them, either, and the tightness in her chest loosened just a little bit. The light changed, and the four roared off down Main Street without a second glance at her.
Maggie followed Main Street until she arrived at her destination. Dot’s Diner was one spot in LeBeau that had never, and would never change. She could still hear Dot’s strong, smoke-stained voice in her head: I would gladly watch this town burn down around my ears before that! She had been one of the originals to set up shop in LeBeau, just like Maggie’s father. The old guard that tried their damnedest to keep things the way they had always been. When she was a teenager, Maggie had loved Dot, but had thought her foolish in her steadfast stubbornness. Now, though… now Maggie wondered if the old lady hadn’t been on to something all along. Change brought pain and darkness and turmoil. Change was trouble.
The diner was more packed than the supermarket had been, just like Maggie remembered. Even at the latest hours, there never seemed to be a shortage of customers waiting for a warm piece of pie and a cup of coffee. And, just like Maggie remembered, a good chunk of the parking lot gleamed with chrome motorcycles, all lined up in a pretty row like they were contestants in a beauty pageant waiting to be judged. The MC practically lived at Dot’s—at least when they weren’t at the clubhouse. As she waited to turn in, Maggie noticed the four bikers from the stoplight walking into the diner, clapping each other on the shoulders and laughing at something.
Are you sure you wanna do this? A little scared voice in the back of her mind asked.
What else am I supposed to do? Maggie answered herself. I need them. I have no choice.
She could have gone straight to the clubhouse, she knew. But she was too cowardly for it. After all these years trying to prove to herself that she was half as tough as her father, in the end, she simply wasn’t sure that she was. She couldn’t even face him, not yet. She wasn’t ready. The thought of walking into that clubhouse and seeing the stern grey eyes of Henry Oliver looking down at her from his redwood throne filled her with a dread so strong, it made her want to swerve back for the highway and leave this place forever.
And then there was the thought of facing Jase.
A honking horn behind her broke the hypnotics of her inner dialogue, and Maggie shook her head to clear her thoughts as she took a careful turn into the diner’s parking lot. She parked her SUV and killed the engine. It took her a solid two minutes to get the guts to push the door open and step out of the car. When she felt her hands itching for a cigarette, she knew then that her coward’s heart was stalling, and would stall forever unless she did something about it.
“C’mon, you bitch,” she said to herself in an angry, hissing voice. “Are you an Oliver, or aren’t you?” Hearing her family name out loud sent strength through her blood, and she put herself on a forced march to the diner’s front door before she lost the momentum of her bravery— such as it was.
She walked into Dot’s Diner and was immediately hit with the full weight of homesickness and nostalgia that had been building the whole drive home. She saw the Wilsons in their corner booth, the same damn spot they had been sitting in at Dot’s for longer than Maggie had been alive. Some of the waitresses were certainly new, yet there was a vague familiarity to some of them, as if she remembered them as schoolchildren. The friendly bellowing laugh of Roy the cook sailed out from the kitchen. The diner was alive with sensory input: the clinking of silverware, the din of conversation and laughter, the sizzle of cooking food, the smell of coffee and bacon and hash. It was busy enough that no one immediately paid her any mind as she stood in the front foyer. Finally one of the waitresses saw her and headed over with a big genuine smile.
“Hi there, hon!” she said. “How many’ll it be?”
Maggie was caught a little off guard. She wasn’t there for the food. “Oh, I, uh…”
“You can sit at the bar if you like, sugar.” The waitress handed her a floppy plastic menu.
“I’m not here to…”
“Lord, is that Maggie Oliver?”
Celeste, one of the diner’s oldest and most experience waitresses, peered from behind the giant glass case that twirled the pies and cakes around like they were showgirls to be ogled at. She came around with her arms opened wide and sunshine in her eyes. So much for doing this my way, thought Maggie to herself.
“Maggie, oh my Lord! I can’t believe it’s you!” said Celeste as she wrapped Maggie in a strangling but loving hug. Her uniform smelled like cigarette smoke, burnt coffee, and the lingering scent of the same cheap perfume her husband bought for her every year for their anniversary. Celeste always loved it.
Maggie was surprised to feel her tension and worry melt almost completely away for that moment she was wrapped in Celeste’s arms. She hugged her back and felt tears pooling up in her eyes. For that brief moment, it was like she had never left LeBeau.
“Honey, you look so beautiful!” said Celeste as she pulled away from Maggie to give her a once-over. “Look at you… you’re grown up into a proper lady. I can’t believe my eyes.”
Maggie smiled, and felt a tiny tear run down her cheek. “Hi Celeste. Boy, I didn’t realize how much I missed you.”
“I missed you too, sweet girl. We’ve all missed you. It’s been too long. Your pa hasn’t come into the diner yet today. Have you already seen him?”
Mention of her father made Maggie’s tension resurface in her muscles, and she gave Celeste a tight smile. “No, not yet. Actually, I was stopping by to…” Something in the air made Maggie stop. She turned and looked out into the large dining room to her right. The place was filled with black leather cuts, the gathered members of the Black Dogs from several nearby towns in for a lunchtime break, laughing and drinking coffee. In the midst of them, one had stood up and was staring at her from across the room.
It was Will Bowers. He didn’t look a day older than when she had left. Always a handsome man with boyish features, now he had supplemented them with a gruff chin-stubble and mustache the color of rust, same color as his soft curly hair.
PRIDE: A Bad Boy and Amish Girl Romance (The Brody Bunch#1) Page 19
