by Lily Baxter
She opened her mouth to cry out to Rayner but the soldier raised his finger to his lips. ‘Best be quiet, miss.’ He jerked his head in the direction of the women screaming insults as they surrounded the army lorry where the girl had been taken for her own safety. Meg could do nothing but watch helplessly as Rayner marched past her. Their eyes met for a few precious seconds and then he was gone.
The soldier let her go with an apologetic grin. ‘You all right, miss?’
She nodded wordlessly.
‘He’s not worth it, love. Find yourself a nice local chap.’ He ambled off to help disperse the crowd.
Meg walked blindly to where she had left her bike and found it had been stolen. She was too numb to feel shocked or angry that someone could have taken her only means of transport. She cared for nothing at that moment. She felt that her life was drifting out on the tide with the ship as it weighed anchor and sailed away. The sun beat down on her bare head and the hot pavements burned the soles of her feet but she felt nothing except the dull ache of despair as she trudged past the Albert Statue, making her way home.
She had reached the entrance to Castle Cornet when a painful stitch in her side caused her to stop and lean against the sea wall. Just as she was recovering, a car screeched to a halt at the edge of the pavement and Simone stuck her head out of the window, beckoning furiously. ‘Get in.’
‘What’s the matter?’
Simone leapt out of the car and bundled Meg unceremoniously into the back seat before throwing herself in beside the driver. The driver put his foot down on the accelerator and the car shot forward.
Meg stared at the back of his sleek, dark head and realised slowly that it must be Simone’s new man, Derek Lussac. ‘What’s going on?’ she demanded. ‘Why the hurry?’
Simone twisted round to face her. ‘We’re getting out on the next boat. We’re not too popular round here, are we, sweetie-pie?’
Derek glanced at her and grinned. ‘You can say that again, Toots.’
Meg lay back against the leather squabs and ran her hand over her eyes. ‘I don’t understand.’
‘A Jerrybag and a black marketeer,’ Simone said with an expressive wave of her hands. ‘Come on, Meg, use your imagination. You saw what happened just now and it’s going on all the time. Any girl who’s consorted with the Germans is a Jerrybag, and black marketeers might have been popular when people were desperate, but now they’re public enemy number one.’
‘Yes. People who were pleased enough to fork out for black market food have now turned self-righteous and want my blood,’ Derek said, changing gears as the car struggled up the steep incline of Le Val des Terres. ‘Ironic, isn’t it? But that’s life. Toots just wanted to say goodbye to her folks and the kid, and then we’re off to London and the big time.’
‘And you’d better keep quiet about your German,’ Simone said. ‘Or you’ll end up the same as me.’
Meg laid her hand on Simone’s shoulder. ‘But you were helping the saboteurs and passing on information. You saved Gerald’s life.’
‘Try telling that to the mob. We’re off to the mainland and we won’t be coming back. That’ll be best for everyone.’
There was almost a party atmosphere back at the manor. Meg found everyone congregated in the drawing room drinking the gin that Charles explained had been given to him by one of the British officers. Meg noted wryly that no one seemed bothered now about Derek’s shady dealings. She doubted whether Rayner would be as welcome in the family. No matter what he had done, Derek was an islander and therefore one of them. His misdeeds were as nothing when compared to Rayner’s misfortune of being born a foreigner and a German.
Simone held her arms out to Jeremy, but he turned his head away and buried his face in Jane’s shoulder.
‘He doesn’t understand,’ Marie said sympathetically. ‘He’s too young.’
‘You will tell him about me, won’t you, Mum?’ Simone’s eyes filled with tears. ‘I’ll come back one day and see him. I’ll send him presents on his birthday and at Christmas.’
‘Oh, Simone, I wish you weren’t going,’ Marie said, mopping her eyes with a crumpled hanky. ‘I’ll miss you so much.’
Simone’s mouth drooped at the corners. ‘I haven’t been a good daughter, Mum. I’m so sorry.’
Gerald wrapped his arms around both of them. ‘Stop it, the pair of you. You’ll have me crying next.’ He turned to Derek. ‘You take good care of her or you’ll have me to deal with.’
Meg slipped from the room and went outside, taking deep breaths of air filled with the perfume of roses and the salty tang of the sea borne on a gentle breeze. However much her heart was aching, she knew she had no choice but to go on. She had taken responsibility for the running of the estate during the occupation and her father’s recurrent bouts of illness. She could not abandon it now, and for the moment she was not needed in the house. She had said her goodbyes to Simone, and she was glad that they were parting as friends. She walked around the farm, assessing the damage with a fresh eye now that there was a chance of reclaiming the land that the Germans had laid to waste. It would take time, money and a huge effort, but there was nothing that could not be mended, except, she thought, the gaping hole in her heart. She had reached the north field when a gentle whinnying and the sound of horse’s hooves on the baked earth made her turn to see Conker trotting towards her swishing his tail and whickering softly. She rubbed her cheek against his soft muzzle. Things might never be quite as they were before the occupation, but Mother would come home soon. She would take over the running of the house and restore order to chaos. Meg slipped her hand through Conker’s halter and led him back towards the stables.
Muriel arrived home looking sleekly plump and vaguely disbelieving as Maud and Jane tried to explain what life had been like during the occupation.
‘At least you weren’t bombed,’ Muriel said, gazing around the shabby drawing room with her lips pursed. ‘You have no idea what it was like going to bed at night never knowing if a V-1 or a V-2 was going to fall out of the sky and kill you.’
‘And we all thought that you, Adele and the twins were safe in the heart of Devon,’ Charles said, smiling. ‘It just goes to show how little we knew of the outside world when we were under the benevolent care of the Third Reich.’
Muriel shot him a suspicious glance. ‘If that is meant to be sarcasm, Charles, then it’s not funny.’
Meg stifled a giggle. Mother was back and on good form.
Maud and Bertrand huddled together in a corner, holding hands. ‘I suppose you’ll want us to move out directly?’ Maud said, her bottom lip trembling.
Muriel eyed them thoughtfully and then, to Meg’s amazement, she smiled. ‘No need to worry about that yet. We’ll see, shall we?’
Jane sniffed and scooped Jeremy up in her arms. ‘It’s time for your tea, my little man.’ She carried him out of the room.
‘I made a crystal set,’ Pip said, breaking the awkward silence. ‘We listened to the BBC news every night.’
‘Are you an electrician?’ Muriel eyed him with sudden interest.
He nodded. ‘I’m good with my hands.’
‘Then we will need you to help fix this place up. It all looks so dreadfully dilapidated and old-fashioned. You should see the Bartons’ houses in London, the Home Counties and Devon. Mr Barton has had a lovely villa built for Frank and Adele close to their main home in Hampshire.’
‘My dear, I think I ought to go to the office,’ Charles said, rising stiffly from his chair.
‘Yes, if you have to. I see nothing much has changed.’ Muriel offered her cheek to receive his kiss. He obliged with a perfunctory peck and hurried from the room. She sighed heavily. ‘I expect everything will be left to me as usual. Meg, you’re being very quiet. Have you nothing to say for yourself?’
‘Welcome home, Mother,’ Meg said, smiling.
‘I returned not a moment too soon as far as I can see.’ Muriel squared her shoulders with the air of a general about to f
ace battle. ‘I need to see Marie and discuss menus with her. Heaven knows we’ve suffered terribly from rationing on the mainland. The meals became so boring and predictable, but I suppose we were luckier than most. Pip, go and fetch the wicker picnic hamper from the hall and take it to Marie. Mrs Barton’s cook packed a few extras for you all when we heard that food was even scarcer over here than on the mainland.’
‘Mother, you’re an angel,’ Meg cried, giving her a hug.
‘Really? What did she send?’ Bertrand’s eyes brightened and he leapt to his feet. ‘Is there any chocolate, or maybe a meat pie?’
‘How do I know, Bertrand? I expect it’s something delicious. The Bartons’ cook can perform culinary miracles with very few ingredients.’
‘We’ll go and help Marie in the kitchen,’ Maud volunteered, edging towards the doorway. ‘Come on, Bertie.’
‘Don’t let that greedy pig Pip get to the food first.’ He hurried after her, closing the door behind him.
‘I’ve returned to a madhouse.’ Muriel fanned herself with a lace handkerchief. ‘I go away for a few years and when I come back I find the whole place crumbling about my ears, and dependent relatives popping up left, right and centre.’
‘Yes, Mother. It’s very trying.’
‘But at least the house is still standing. I suppose that’s a good thing even if you have let everything go to rack and ruin, Meg. Plymouth was virtually razed to the ground, you know, not to mention the East End of London, and I believe Coventry was very badly hit. You really were most fortunate to escape the bombing.’
Meg slipped her hand through her mother’s arm. ‘Come outside, Mother. I want to show you something.’
Muriel allowed herself to be led out of the house. When she saw the sad state of the stables and outbuildings it was only a sharp intake of breath that betrayed her innermost feelings. Ruthlessly, Meg dragged her on through the vegetable garden, across the wasteland that had been the pleasure gardens and down to the ruined summerhouse by the lake.
‘Well, Mother? Do you still think we had an easy time of it?’
Muriel looked around her and with a slight shake of her head she raised her chin, meeting Meg’s eyes with a look of pure steel. ‘There must be some form of government compensation to pay for all this. Your father must look into it at once. We’ll soon have everything back to normal. I’m here now, Meg. You’ve done your best, I’m sure, but this will take some organisation.’
Meg opened her mouth to protest and then closed it again. Mother had not changed during her five years’ absence and she probably never would. She had never been able to resist a challenge and the one presented to her now was of epic proportions. Meg could only stand back and admire her mother’s single-minded determination to whip the world around her into a manageable shape. But instinctively she also knew that she was being quietly but firmly relegated to her lowly position as the youngest daughter. Mother had taken charge.
‘Come along, Meg,’ Muriel said, stepping daintily over piles of rubble. ‘This isn’t the time to mope around. There’s much to be done, starting right now.’
‘Yes, Mother.’
‘I must find Marie. I need to tell her that I was very sorry to hear about Eric. We’ll never find another estate manager as good as he.’
Meg had to run to keep up with her as she marched across the cracked, sun-baked earth. ‘Wait a moment. There’s something I must tell you.’ The thought of her mother sailing into the kitchen and coming face to face with Gerald filled her with alarm.
Muriel stopped and turned her head to look Meg in the eyes. ‘I know all about Gerald masquerading as David. Charles told me in the car on the way home.’
The look in her mother’s eyes confirmed Meg’s suspicion. ‘You’ve known about him all along, haven’t you, Mother?’
Muriel replied with an expressive shrug of her shoulders. ‘Your father and I have no secrets. Marriage isn’t all about romance and passion, Meg. It’s a question of give and take and mutual understanding. I won’t pretend that it’s been easy, but we came to a compromise many years ago and it’s worked.’
‘And you don’t mind us knowing that Gerald is our brother?’
‘He’s chosen to keep the name LeFevre. I don’t think there is any need to broadcast the details of his birth certificate, and I think that eventually, when I’ve had time to train him, he will make an excellent estate manager. David has never been interested in the farm.’
‘You’ve seen David?’
‘Of course I have. You may have been marooned here for the duration, but there is life outside the island, you know.’
‘Yes, Mother.’
Muriel walked on, stopping momentarily to make tut-tutting sounds when she came to the place where once her rose garden had been her pride and joy. She carried on, talking over her shoulder as she went. ‘Did I tell you that he’s engaged to a delightful girl called Sonia? No? Well he is, and her father is something high up in the RAF. David has decided that he wants to stay in the air force and make it his career. In that event, Gerald will be very useful indeed.’
Meg hurried after her. ‘I suppose you’ve got my future planned as well?’
Muriel stopped again, this time to fling open the tack room door and poke her head inside. She wrinkled her nose. ‘Someone has been using this place as a lavatory. It will have to be thoroughly disinfected.’
‘Mother?’
‘Of course I’m not going to interfere in your life, Meg. What a silly idea. But I think it might help you get over your crush on that German if you spent a few months in Oxford with Josie.’
‘Mother!’
Muriel raised an eyebrow. ‘I know all about Rayner Weiss. Adele told me in confidence about the May Ball, and your father mentioned that he’d turned up here as well. I’m not stupid, Meg. I can work these things out for myself.’
Feeling as though she were ten years old again, Meg stared at her mother in amazement. ‘I don’t want to go to Oxford. What would I do there?’
‘I don’t know. Study something or simply keep Josie company. She’s been very depressed since Paul ran off with the silly little ATS girl. Apparently the affair started before the war, but she was married. Then her husband got himself killed and she wept all over Paul Shelmerdine’s broad shoulder. You know how susceptible men are.’
Struggling to cope with this shocking piece of news, Meg swallowed hard. ‘I can’t believe it. Aunt Josie and Uncle Paul seemed like a perfect couple. She absolutely adored him.’
‘You have a lot to learn about men, my dear Meg. Anyway, Josie is expecting you as soon as we can book a passage. The change of air will do you good.’
The London planes were heavy with dusty summer foliage as the taxi pulled up outside Aunt Josie’s house. Meg felt as if she had travelled back in time; everything looked exactly the same as it had six years ago. She paid the driver and he carried her cases up the red brick front steps just as Josie opened the front door.
‘Meg, darling. How lovely to see you again.’ She flung her arms around Meg’s neck and kissed her cheek, enveloping her in a heady waft of Mitsouko. Tipping the cabby handsomely, despite Meg’s protests that she had already done so, Josie waited while he hefted the suitcases into the hall. She closed the door on him, turning to Meg with a welcoming smile. ‘You’re so thin, but you look utterly gorgeous. Come into the drawing room and we’ll have a drink.’ Leading the way, Josie rang for the maid and almost instantly a large girl with thick legs and a sulky face barged into the room.
Meg suspected that she had been loitering in the hallway. Either that or she had a magic carpet secreted somewhere in the servants’ quarters.
‘Grace, will you take the suitcases up to the guest room, please?’
For a moment Meg thought that Grace was going to refuse, but she replied with a grunt and lumbered out of the room. She could be heard grumbling as she bumped the cases on each tread of the staircase.
‘You just can’t get good help nowadays,’
Josie said, sighing. ‘Girls don’t want to go into service. They earn far more in factories than we can afford to pay them.’ She went to the cocktail cabinet and poured a measure of gin into a glass. ‘I’m having a snifter, Meg. How about you?’
Meg shook her head. ‘No, it’s a bit early for me, thanks, Aunt Josie.’
Josie added a splash of water and took her drink over to the sofa. She sat down, raising her glass to Meg. ‘Here’s how, darling. Now, tell me everything. I want to hear your story from the day you left us until – well, until today.’ She curled her legs elegantly beneath her, listening quietly and sipping her drink. Meg gave her a graphic account of their life during the occupation, but she hesitated when it came to explaining about her relationship with Gerald.
Josie put her head on one side, smiling. ‘Darling, you don’t have to be tactful. I know all about my brother’s peccadilloes.’
‘You knew about his affair with Marie?’
‘Of course I did. Don’t forget I was just a child at the time and living at home. Charles was a very naughty boy. He had an eye for a pretty face, but don’t they all? Anyway, I have to give Muriel her due; she was an absolute brick about everything. We never really got on, you know. Too different, I suppose. But I did admire her for standing by Charles as she did, and for seeing that the boy had a good education. But then, Marie was an excellent cook and maybe Muriel thought that Gerald would be useful one day.’ Josie pulled a face. ‘I’m sorry, darling. That was extremely bitchy of me. I know I wouldn’t have behaved so well in similar circumstances. Well, actually, I haven’t, if it comes to that.’ She broke off as Grace bounced into the room to announce that dinner was on the table. She left as suddenly as she had appeared, slamming the door behind her.
