by Brenda Joyce
"Jesus," James said, pushing his plate away. He leaned back on the sofa, not looking very pleased. "But you didn't find me! If you had gotten my letter you would have known right away that I was fine."
"When we didn't find you and after a month went by, what could we think but that you were dead?" Rick said.
"Why did you take off without a word?" Slade asked.
"I got a letter from Elizabeth."
"What kind of letter?" Rick asked.
James's smile was bitter. "What kind do you think? It wasn't a love letter."
A silence fell after his words. Slade broke it. "Hell, James. I'm sorry."
"Yeah, well, don't be. Best thing that could've happened to me."
"So that's why you took off in the middle of the damned storm," Rick said grimly.
"I was mad. And disbelieving. And hurt. Stupid fool that I was, I figured I'd go to her personally and demand an explanation. I wanted to believe she was just having the usual last-minute jitters, and that once she saw me, she'd fall right into my arms and everything would be fine." He laughed harshly. "Boy, was I wrong!"
"You got her letter and took off in the storm and lost your horse in the flood," Slade said. "What happened afterwards?"
"I needed another horse so I stole another one out of old man Curtis's fields to make it to Templeton to catch the train to San Luis Obispo. When I realized the train wouldn't be coming until the next day, I just kept riding. Nothing was going to stop me-I was too damn mad. I rode until I could rendezvous with the Southern Pacific, which I picked up in Serrano."
"You rode almost the entire way?" Edward interjected.
"I wasn't just mad," James said ruefully, "I was crazy, too. I didn't send a telegram home until I got to San Luis Obispo, after I had seen her." His mouth twisted but the smile failed. "I can't remember what I said. She had changed so much-I was shocked, I guess."
Edward broke the ensuing silence. "I saw her, James. About a month ago I went down there to see her stepmother, and Susan sent me to Elizabeth." He hesitated. "You shouldn't be so upset. No woman could have been worse for you."
James was silent.
Slade said, "I saw her, too. Recently. Edward's right. She was bad news."
James looked at his brothers. Then his fist hit the table hard, sending his plate to the floor. "She had to tell me all of it. I think she enjoyed telling me all of it. She's a whore at heart and she always has been. Do you know why she was sent to London in the first place? Because she'd been caught in bed with some stable-boy! Somehow Sinclair hushed it up and sent her off to what he hoped would be a prison! She was thirteen! It wasn't even the first time! Boy, when George arranged the marriage was he laughing behind our backs!" James was shaking. He released a deep breath and stared up at the ceiling.
Rick was on his feet. "Goddamn George! If he wasn't dead I'd wring his neck right now! How in hell did he cover up such a scandal? George always was too damn smart!" Rick planted himself in front of his son. "Thank God, James, that she called it off. That tramp isn't fit to clean the horseshit off your boots."
"Amen," Edward said.
James didn't speak.
"You've been gone a long time," Slade said quietly. "Where have you been?"
"I drifted south. I didn't much care where I went. A few days after I'd seen her, when I was in Los Angeles, I sent another telegram so no one would expect me back anytime soon. Later I posted a letter from Tucson, explaining. When I wound up in Guadalajara two weeks ago, I decided it was time to come home and finish things."
Slade eyed him. Regina wondered what he meant.
James shook his head. "I don't understand what happened to the letter and the telegrams."
"Neither do I," Rick said furiously. "And it's one hell of a coincidence all three never made it here."
Slade spoke. "I'm going to get some answers. I'll go to town tomorrow to talk to Ben."
Regina tensed. She glanced at Victoria, who was nonchalant. But when the other woman saw Regina's expression, she shifted. Regina looked away, despairing. Dear God, she knew she was right.
"I know about the letter," Lucinda suddenly cried. "But not about the telegrams."
Everyone looked at her.
"What?" Rick shouted. "You kept that letter from me?"
Victoria was on her feet. "Lucinda, what kind of stupid ploy is this? And what are you doing here? Don't you have chores to do?"
Lucinda glared at her. "You're a mean woman and you deserve this. I have to tell the truth!"
Regina cringed. Rick grabbed the maid's arm. "What the hell are you implying?"
"Rick, I saw the letter in Victoria's bureau, hidden among her clothes."
A shocked silence filled the room.
"No!" Victoria shouted, livid. "She's lying because she hates me! She's always hated me. Haven't you, you lying bitch?"
Rick looked at his wife in bewilderment.
Edward stared at his mother in disbelief.
Slade took Lucinda's hand. '’Tell us what happened."
Tears filled Luanda's eyes. "I wanted to say something right away! When I found the letter by accident I recognized his handwriting, so I read it. But she came in and caught me!"
Victoria made a strangled sound.
"She threatened me, Slade! Then she paid me off." Lucinda almost broke into tears. "I was more afraid of her threats to see me thrown off the ranch than I was interested in the money. We fought about it. She hit me. I knew she'd do as she said, have me beaten up and taken away, if I spoke up."
"You should have come to me," Slade said.
"I was afraid! This has been my home since I was a child! Would you have believed me or her?" Lucinda cried wildly.
It really didn't matter. Slade turned to Victoria, his eyes filled with fury. Regina immediately moved to the stricken maid, putting her arm around her. Lucinda should have spoken up, but she could easily imagine her being thoroughly intimidated by Victoria. Regina had not a doubt that Victoria's threats to do her bodily harm had been real.
"You've gone too far, Victoria," Slade said. “I guess you intercepted the telegrams too."
Rick was staring at his wife, shocked. But it was Edward who was paralyzed. He hadn't moved, he hadn't even flinched, nor had he spoken. Now he said, his voice high and boyish, "Mother?"
Victoria rushed to him. "Oh, Edward!" she cried, clasping his hands. He stared at her as if she were a maddened stranger. "I did it for you! For you! And what was so bad? I didn't kill James! He went away, deserting us all! I didn't know Elizabeth was just a little whore. I thought she was coming here to marry James. Rick wanted her to marry Slade, but I realized that with James gone, she could marry you!"
Edward did not so much as blink.
"Don't you see? Slade would come for the funeral and leave. But you would be here and Rick would have asked you to marry her to save the rancho. Then this would all be yours! I
did it for you! And was it such a terrible lie? Just what was so terrible?"
Edward suddenly lunged to his feet, throwing her off him so violently that she crashed into the chair behind her and almost fell to the floor. "Get away from me."
"Edward!" Victoria reached out to him, pleading.
"Get away from me!" Edward shouted. He whirled, knocking over the ottoman he had been sitting on. He moved so swiftly that no one had time to react. He was out the door, his strides so long and fast he was almost running.
Everyone was in shock. Slade was frozen. Rick sank down on the sofa, his face buried in his hands, looking old and defeated. Regina felt pity for them all, but especially Rick and Edward. Abruptly she gripped Slade's arm. "Call Edward back," she said urgently.
Slade looked at her. "No."
She started to protest.
"No, Regina, he has to deal with this himself."
And then, through the beating rain, they heard the sound of thundering hoofbeats. Regina ran to the other side of the room, which faced the grounds and the stables. Pushing aside the drapes, she saw Edward on his black stallion galloping down the drive, away from Miramar.
Victoria screamed when she realized what was happening. She rushed past Slade and into the downpour. Her sobs were heartbreaking. Regina ran after her. The woman stumbled into the outer courtyard and through the gate, calling after her son. Regina skidded to a halt, the rain pelting her fiercely. Her clothing quickly became soaked. Slade had followed her and he paused beside her. "Go inside before you get sick," he said quietly.
Regina looked at him questioningly. No matter what Victoria had done, she could not be immune to her grief.
And apparently neither could Slade. “I’ll get her," he said softly.
Regina hurried to the sheltering overhang of the roof, watching as Slade walked slowly through the torrential rain to Victoria. She had fallen to her knees in the mud. Her anguished sobs did not abate. "Edward! Edward! Please come back, please! Edward!"
Edward was no longer even in sight.
Slade bent and lifted her to her feet. "He'll come back," he said quietly. "In his own good time, he'll come back." And he led her inside the house.
Hours later the rain had become a steady downpour, blanketing the night. Regina stood by the window in their bedroom, staring out at the drenched silvery darkness. Slade came up behind her, his warm, strong hands slipping over her shoulders.
She leaned back against him. "Edward didn't have a coat or a hat."
"He'll be okay."
"I can't help worrying. And hurting. He should be with us now, not out there alone in that cold godforsaken night."
He kissed her cheek. "You have a heart of gold, Regina. Edward is a strong man. He needs time to adjust."
Regina was silent a moment, letting a single tear drift down her cheek unchecked. Her heart cried for the entire family, but she could not help but be thrilled by Slade's praise. She turned to face him. "Poor James. What about him?"
"Poor James," Slade echoed grimly. "He's a very bitter, angry man. I barely recognize him. For five long years he loved a woman who did not exist. He was even faithful to her. He needs time, too."
Regina embraced her husband. "What about Rick?" She closed her eyes against the image of how he had appeared the last time she had seen him. After Slade had led Victoria back inside, he had gotten up and left the room, locking himself in his study. He had appeared dazed and very, very old.
"Rick's tough. He's a survivor. He's been through a hell of a lot in his life, he'll get through this. But he's gonna toss Victoria out, mark my words. He's forgiven her a lot over the years, but he won't forgive her this."
Regina leaned against Slade, hugging him. "God help me, I even feel sorry for her. She's lost her son, now she's going to lose her husband and her home."
"You are amazing, Regina. I think it's your generosity that I admire most." His hands slid around her. "I love you. I love you more than you'll ever know."
She froze, stunned. "I beg your pardon?"
He laughed roughly, caught up in the onslaught of his emotions. "If you think I can say those words again, you're wrong. This isn't easy for me, but I realize how much you want to know how I feel. I guess," he said softly, "I'm finding the courage to finally tell you."
She started to cry. She hugged him. "You have no idea how happy you're making me! I've dreamed of hearing you tell me that you love me, Slade!"
"Hasn't it been obvious?"
"Obvious?" She laughed, delirious with pleasure. "Only a month ago you wanted to divorce me!"
He sighed. Finally he cupped her face in his hands. "Can't you understand? I was trying to do what was right."
She blinked at that. "To this day, Slade, I have not been able to fully comprehend your motivations."
"I thought that your father was right, that you should return home, live in a castle and marry a duke."
"Oh, you foolish man!" Regina cried. "Father no longer feels that way, Slade. We settled our differences the night of the gala. He has given us his blessing."
Slade looked stunned. For a long moment he didn't speak. "God, I'm glad! I've agonized over my coming between you and your father!"
"You needn't agonize anymore." She hesitated. "He has even given me my inheritance, which is in a bank account in your name in San Francisco."
He stared. When he said nothing Regina was relieved, because he could have protested. "Oh, you foolish man," she said again, this time cupping his face. Tears filled her eyes. "You thought me so shallow that I needed to live in the lap of luxury? Have I proved myself to you yet? Do you realize how wrong you were?"
He swallowed. "Yeah, you've proved yourself, Regina, and I feel like a big fat fool."
"I think you do understand what love is all about," Regina said softly. "It is about compromise. When a woman really loves a man, she is willing to give up what she must for him and for their marriage-with no regrets."
He kissed her lingeringly. Then he rested his cheek against hers. "You're incredibly wise for one so young, Regina. Yes, I've come to realize, through you, what love is all about. Before, I was trying to be selfless in giving you up instead of selfish in keeping you."
"But love is both selfish and selfless, Slade," Regina murmured. "Are you saying that you loved me so much that you thought to make me happy by sending me away?"
He winced, regarding her seriously. "In retrospect, especially after the past month, it seems absurd."
"It was very absurd!"
"This month has made me realize how I misjudged you. I'm so sorry. You appear as soft and fragile as a hothouse rose, Regina, but it's an illusion. There's nothing that's not strong and determined about you. I've watched you thrive these last few weeks here at Miramar. You've bloomed. You've never been more beautif
ul and you've never seemed happier."
"I've never been happier," Regina said. She almost told him why she was thriving, then decided he should continue to think for a while that her glow was due only to him and her happiness and being at Miramar. She caressed his cheek. "I love you. I loved you from the moment we met, which is why I kept my identity secret and married you in the first place. And I never stopped loving you, not once, even when I was forced to leave you in San Francisco. There. I have confessed all." She regarded him through blurry eyes.
"You can confess to me at any time," he whispered, taking her earlobe between his teeth and tugging it gently. "I will never grow tired of your confessions."
The next morning Regina overslept, exhausted both from the traumatic events of the preceding day and the emotional ecstasy Slade's declaration had generated. Of course, she was also well aware of the fact that most women were tired in the first few months of pregnancy.
It was still raining. There was no sign of it stopping. In the kitchen a solemn Josephine told her it might rain ceaselessly for weeks. "But then you'd be surprised," she added. "When it looks like it could nevah get bettah, suddenly the sun is shinin'."
Regina looked sharply at the Negress. She had not one doubt that Josephine intended her words to have a double meaning. "How is Rick this morning?"
"He's real upset and he's real mad. I only seen him like this once in his whole life an' I been heah since I was a chile."
Regina's heart twisted. "When Slade's mother left?"
Josephine nodded. "He nevah let on, but he loved Victoria despite her bad ways."
"He's a very strong man. He'll get through this." '’That he shore is an' he shore will. He'll be hisse'f, but it'll take some time."
"And Victoria? Is she all right?"
