I favored Arundel for a while, and Robert was very jealous—an added pleasure.
Once he said: “I curse myself for having made that ridiculous marriage.”
“I have heard your Amy is a very pretty creature,” I said.
He was silent, bemoaning his fate, for he was sure that had he been unmarried, there would have been no hesitation and I would gladly have taken him. There was a modicum of truth in that. It was why the wise side of me rejoiced in Robert's Amy tucked away in the country.
Then there was Sir William Pickering—a very handsome courtier though by no means young. He must have been about forty, but he was well preserved in spite of a life in which gallantry had played a big part. He was rich because his father had been given grants of land by mine. He was extremely charming, and I pretended to consider him. The courtiers then began to make bets as to whether I would marry Arundel or Pickering for they were quite convinced that I would take one of them since I would not have a foreigner. So with all this speculation raising the hopes of first one and then the other, and with Robert glowering jealously on the scene, I found I was enjoying the matrimonial maneuverings.
The Count de Feria was angry and demanded an answer. I did not want to spoil the fun so I hesitated and gave him a little encouragement. People were saying that I would never have taken either Arundel or Pickering. It would have to be a foreign prince. Eric of Sweden was the favorite for a while.
Kat and I used to laugh about it. “I know my Queen. You'll have none of them. At least that's what you say.”
“Most emphatically I say it, but only within these four walls. Just for your ears, Kat. And remember, not a word outside. If you gossip about me, I'll have your head, that I will.”
“Now don't you be too handy with people's heads,” warned Kat. “You always said your sister made the mistake of killing off some of the best.”
“And you would call yourself one of the best?”
“Without a doubt.”
“As you always will be, Kat,” I said seriously.
She was pleased and went on to tell me the latest gossip, which was that the Duchess of Suffolk had married her equerry and everyone was extremely shocked by the misalliance.
“Let her enjoy her equerry,” I said. “Her marriage is not a matter of state.”
“The silk woman was wanting to see you rather specially this afternoon.”
“Oh, what matter of moment has Mistress Montague to lay before me? I will say this for her, she is the best silk woman we have ever had. What say you, Kat?”
“I am in agreement with Your Majesty, and these stockings she has brought look very fine.”
“Stockings! Where are they? Why was I not shown them before?”
“Being so occupied with matters of state …” began Kat.
“Bring them to me at once, insolent creature.”
She did. They had been knitted in silk. The first I had ever seen.
“Try them, Your Majesty,” whispered Kat.
So, of course, I did. They clung to the legs and made them look so much more slender than the cloth ones.
“Tell Mistress Montague that I am delighted with her work.”
“I have anticipated Your Majesty's commands and I have set her knitting others.”
“Good Kat,” I said.
“I knew I was safe,” added Kat, “for if Your Majesty was misguided enough as to disapprove of the stockings, there would be others to take them with the utmost speed.”
Kat returned to the discussion of my marriage and told me what they were saying in the streets. “They are glad you have sent the Spaniards packing and would like an English marriage. Nothing would please them more than to see you married to one of our own. I have heard it said that it is a great pity Lord Robert already has a wife.”
I smiled enigmatically. So they thought Robert would be suitable…if he had not a wife. That was interesting. Lord Robert, yes. He was the only one. But he had a wife—and as I have said I was not altogether displeased about that!
Cecil was very disturbed. Philip of Spain had become affianced to the sister of the King of France.
“Now,” said Cecil, “we have the King of France and the King of Spain united by this marriage; and the King of France has already declared his daughter-in-law, Mary of Scotland, the true heir to the English throne. Our two most powerful enemies will now be allies.”
“But I was right not to enter into a marriage with Spain. It turned the people against my sister.”
Cecil agreed that this was so.
“And the marriage between France and Spain is the outcome of my refusal.”
“True,” agreed Cecil. “We are facing formidable enemies and the best thing for you to do is to marry with as much speed as possible. If you had a child, your position would be more secure.”
“My dear Cecil,” I said, “I have a band of great ministers in whom I trust. I have my people who love me. My subjects will be loyal to me, and if God will be my guide and help me, I have no fear of any enemies who should come against me.”
“Your Grace has shown wisdom rare in one so young. The people are with you as they were with your father, and in a manner which both your sister and your brother failed to win from them. I know that you will have the wisdom and the courage to succeed, but still I tell you it would be well to marry and give the country an heir.”
“My dear Cecil, you know I am giving the matter my consideration.”
“I pray Your Grace will continue to do so and come to a quick decision.”
“Marriage is a matter to which much thought should be given before embarking on it. It can be disastrous. I have been hearing of the misalliance of our own Duchess of Suffolk. I am amused that such a proud lady should marry her horsekeeper.”
“Ladies in love often do not consider consequences. Indeed, Madam, what you say is true. The Duchess has entered into matrimony with her horsekeeper. She might say that Your Majesty wishes she could do the same.”
I looked at him while the color rushed into my face.
I could think of no reply. So my feelings for Robert were as obvious as all that!
Cecil continued to regard me quizzically. I wanted to chide him for listening to gossip and for not showing due respect for his Queen.
But my wise self reminded the other that I wanted honesty from Cecil— and in any case whether I wanted it or not, I would get it, and if I objected, he would leave my service. He was that sort of man.
So I shrugged my shoulders and said nothing.
The Mystery of Cumnor Place
THERE WAS A GREAT DEAL OF GOSSIP ABOUT ROBERT AND me. We were always together and he made no attempt to hide his feelings; and I fear that I was revealing enough to show my regard for him. He had such outstanding good looks and presence that he was bound to attract attention. He was very jealous of Arundel and Pickering, and as Arundel and Pickering were jealous of each other they quarreled when they met. Cecil said it was unwise to set them against each other, but I could not resist it and would favor one more than the other in turn. But Robert always had more of everything than others so his jealousy was far in excess of that of Arundel and Pickering.
The frivolous side of me enjoyed the situation immensely while the more sober side looked on indulgently.
Robert was essentially a very proud man and I would not have felt so favorable toward him if he had not been. He was frustrated because of his marriage and certainly believed that if he had been free I would have married him…a matter of which I was not entirely sure myself. When he saw me spreading my smiles between Arundel and Pickering he pretended not to notice and when I spoke to him there was a distinct coolness in his voice. He was polite and perfectly proper so there was nothing for which I could reprove him. It was just those ardent glances of love and tenderness which I missed—and I was astonished to discover how affected I could be by his seeming indifference. It was assumed of course, but it did show that he was hurt.
Philip of Spain had
turned from me. Would Robert? But Philip had never loved me—only my crown. I had convinced myself that it was different with Robert.
The situation was becoming intolerable. There were others present all the time and I could not speak to Robert as I wished to with people eavesdropping—as they always did on my conversations—and they were particularly eager to do so when I was talking with Robert.
So I wanted to speak to him privately and told Kat to bring him to my apartment. Kat was shocked.
“But, my love, you cannot do that,” she said.
“Since when has Kat Ashley seen fit to instruct the Queen?” I asked.
“Oh, we are Her Majesty today, are we?”
“Today and always,” I reminded her, “and don't forget it, unless…”
“Unless I want my head to part company with my body? But listen, my dearest, there are watchers, you know.”
“I must speak to him,” I said.
She nodded. “He is a lovely gentleman and I know Your Majesty's feeling for him and his for you. 'Tis a pity he has a wife living… somewhere in Oxfordshire I believe it to be.”
“Never mind where it is,” I said. “Bring him.”
So he came.
When we were alone together I gave him my hand to kiss.
“Robert,” I said, “you have been somewhat sullen of late, and I like not sullen men and women about me.”
“I have had good cause,” he said sharply.
“Indeed. In what way?”
“I think Your Majesty knows full well. Arundel and Pickering…My God, you could not so demean yourself.”
“Pray do not take the Lord's name in vain in my presence, Lord Dudley.”
“Madam, I will state my case.” He took both my hands and drew me toward him. I was too astonished—and delighted—to protest. Gone was the deferential Master of Horse; here was the passionate lover determined not to be denied.
I said: “State your case then, sir.”
“I love you, as you know I do. I have put myself at your service and you spurn me.”
“Spurn you! Have I not made you my Master of Horse?”
“It is not good enough.”
“You forget to whom you speak.”
“I speak to my beautiful Elizabeth whom I love. Whether she be Queen or not is no matter to me.”
“Show more respect for my crown, I beg you, Lord Robert.”
“I cannot think of your crown, but only of my love for you.”
Then he kissed me in a practiced manner which reminded me of Sir Thomas Seymour. There was a similarity between those two men. Perhaps that was why I was almost ready to submit to both of them. Almost. But I was stronger in my determination to resist now than I had been in my younger days. Robert was the most fascinating man I had ever known but I would not allow him to become my lover. The sexual act was a symbol of domination on the part of the male, I had always thought, and I had no intention of being dominated for one moment even by the most attractive man I had ever known.
I said: “Robert… dear Robin… you know my regard for you.”
“I know it and I will kill Pickering or Arundel if they dare take liberties.”
“Do you think I would allow any to take liberties with me… save one?”
“Elizabeth…my love… whom I have loved all my life… from the time when we were children and danced together. Do you remember? You noticed me then.”
“I must always notice you, Robin. You are a very noticeable gentleman.”
“You love me, I know. Do you think I am not aware of it? Even when we were in the Tower we thought of each other, did we not?”
“Yes, Robert, we did.”
“And was I not prepared to lay whatever I had at your feet?”
“So you said.”
“And you take up this coquettish stance with Arundel and Pickering.”
“I am the Queen, Robert. I may do as I wish.”
“It is more than I can endure.”
“Why so? It is only if I agreed to marry either of them that you should feel these emotions.”
“So you will not marry one of them!”
I reached up to touch his hair. It was a long way and I had to stand on tiptoe, for although I was not small in stature he was very tall.
“You know full well that I will not marry either of them.”
“They are urging you.”
“I am being urged all the time.”
“Philip has become affianced to France. You have refused Eric of Sweden and the Archduke Charles.”
“Indeed I have.”
“Is it because you love someone else?”
“And if I do?”
“I must know.”
“Are you by any chance referring to Lord Robert Dudley? And if you are how could he be a suitor for my hand? Have you forgotten that he has a wife tucked away somewhere in the country?”
“Life has been very cruel to me,” he said. “Rather has life been good to you. Just think if you had not made that marriage when you did, you would be a headless corpse, for almost certainly you would have been the one your ambitious father married to Lady Jane Grey.”
He looked at me helplessly.
I said: “There is only one course open to you, my lord. You must be a good husband to Mistress Amy.”
“Elizabeth!” He caught my hands and drew me toward him. “She is sick. I do not think she will live long.”
My heart was beating very fast. “Is that true?” I said quietly.
“True. I swear it. It could well be that within a few months I could be… free.”
I was shaken. When he kissed me I wanted him to go on doing so. I wanted him to talk of his devotion, his unrestrained passion. Always between us had been the figure of his wife—Amy, the girl in the country who made it safe for me to dally with Robert Dudley. But if she were no longer there…
It was a dazzling possibility. The frivolous side of my nature wanted him free. The serious side was not so sure.
He looked at me eagerly and I was enchanted to see his devotion to me and I smiled at him when he said: “If …” And I knew he believed that if he were a free man I would marry him.
* * *
WHEN ROBERT SAID that his wife was ill he had shaken me more than I would admit to myself. I had to know more about her and his matrimonial situation. I couldn't ask him, so I set Kat to discover. She already knew a good deal. Since he had become such a favorite of mine, there was a great deal of gossip about him.
His grandfather had been that Edmund Dudley, statesman and lawyer, who had found favor with my grandfather King Henry VII because of his clever ways with finance, and who had been beheaded by my father Henry VIII when he came to the throne as a sop to the people who blamed Edmund Dudley, with Empson, for the heavy taxes they had had to pay. Robert's father was, of course, John Dudley, Duke of Northumberland, who had tried to set Lady Jane Grey on the throne after she had married his son Guildford, and had died on the scaffold. What did Robert feel about having lost his grandfather, his father and his brother to the headsman? That grisly fact must have made him anxious at times, though he never showed it. Robert had an enduring faith in himself and he was determined to marry me. I saw that in his eyes and my desire wavered considerably. There were times when I thought of being married to Robert, and then I said to myself: If he were free, I believe I would. But that other side of me was always there warning me: You would never be completely Queen, if you set up a man beside you. He would become the King. He would oppose your wishes, enforce his will on you, try to subdue you to his desires with soft caresses and with blandishments. No, I must not marry… not even Robert. Yet if he were free… But he was not free.
Kat was indefatigable in her search for information. I picked it up from others, too. Robert Dudley was the most talked-of man in England at that time—far more so than Arundel or Pickering had ever been, although courtiers were still taking bets on those two. I had been unable to hide my feelings for Robert and of course
they were much discussed throughout the Court.
What I learned was that Robert's father, the Earl of Warwick, as he had been then, had gone as General of the King's army to Norfolk to suppress a rebellion of the peasants there. This he had done very successfully, much to the joy of the landowners in that part of the country because the rising had concerned the enclosures of land. It was while he was there that John Dudley had been entertained by one of those landowners, Sir John Robsart who had a daughter, Amy; and although he had several stepchildren, for he had married a widow, Amy was the only child Robsart had fathered and was his sole heiress.
Heiress though she might be, she would not be considered a suitable match for a Dudley. John Dudley, although not at that time Duke of Northumberland and Protector of England, was a man of considerable importance. Robert was not much more than sixteen and he fell in love with Amy and she, naturally enough, with him.
Why John Dudley agreed to the marriage I cannot imagine, but he had several sons and Robert was the fifth; so he probably thought that the Robsarts were rich enough. Whatever the case, Robert was married. Amy was a quiet little country girl and I can imagine how quickly his infatuation for her began to fade, and when his father's power began to increase rapidly, he must have realized how hasty he had been.
With Edward Seymour beheaded, John Dudley assumed the title of Duke of Northumberland. His ambition was boundless. A crown for one of his sons. Poor Guildford! He was the only unmarried one left. Oh, how easily it could have been Robert! Often I thought of that and I have no doubt he did also.
Jane Grey's brief glory was over, Mary on the throne, Northumberland and Guildford beheaded and Robert in the Tower under sentence of death. Such a tragic sequence of events should have made Robert cautious but I saw little of caution in my bold admirer.
One of his sisters, Lady Mary Sidney, was now serving in my bedchamber. Robert had asked me to give her the post and of course I had agreed; and no sooner did I meet Mary than I liked her. They had great charm, those Dudleys. From Mary I learned a great deal about Robert. He was the most outstanding of all her brothers—alas all dead now except Ambrose. She did not like to talk of Guildford who had died so tragically. “Our father was too ambitious,” she said sadly, “and ambition can lead men into deadly traps.”
Queen Of This Realm Page 16
