Graceless

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Graceless Page 4

by Clare Kauter


  “OK, there’s no need to be combative, James,” I said.

  “And why not?” he demanded, rounding on me. “Why do I always have to be nice when you can do and say whatever you want?”

  “Don’t lash out at me just because you have mummy issues,” I snapped back. “I’m a teenage girl. I’m allowed to be difficult. You’re an adult. You’re supposed to be level headed.”

  “I thought I was just a spoiled rich kid?”

  I shrugged. “You’re that too.”

  “Fine,” he said. “Then let me throw my tantrum and get it over and done with.”

  I sighed. “OK. Just keep it PG. There are kids here.”

  He turned back to face his mother. “Kicking me out was dumb and unfair and I think your treatment of Will compared to your punishment of me was very much a double-standard.”

  “Wow,” I said. “So succinct.”

  He shrugged. “I write a lot of police reports. I’ve become pretty good at getting straight to the point.”

  “It – I –”

  Vi didn’t know what to say.

  “I think what Vi means is –”

  “I want to hear it from her,” said James.

  I sighed. “Maybe this isn’t the best forum for this.”

  “You were the one who made me come here.”

  “Yeah, because I thought you’d behave like a grown-up.”

  “I thought you were just being a rebellious teenager,” Vi cut in. “I figured you’d admit to injecting the drugs –”

  “You smoke marijuana,” said James and I in unison.

  “– and then I’d ground you for a month and everything would be OK. When you didn’t admit it, I – I lost my temper and said you’d have to leave if you wouldn’t own up to it. I never thought you’d actually go…” At this point, Violet started crying. “You were just a baby and then you were out there on your own and I never knew how you were or what you were doing or…”

  “Oh, get over it, Vi.” That was my mother. The whole party swivelled to look at her in shock.

  “Excuse me?” said Vi, mouth agape.

  “Get over it,” Mum repeated. “At least you knew James was still alive. Personally, I always thought you overreacted about the weed. The number of times I found drugs in Topher’s room…”

  It was true. Topher even created a false bottom in one of his desk drawers so Mum wouldn’t be able to confiscate his stash and get rid of it anymore. And when I say ‘get rid of it’ I don’t mean ‘flush it down the toilet’. Despite her fondness for the herb, she usually pretended to be on Vi’s side about kicking James out, though, so this was a new development.

  “Yes, well maybe if you’d disciplined him better things would have turned out differently,” said Vi.

  Oh jeez. A ripple of shock moved through the whole crowd of barbecue attendees as I ran to grab Janine and James grabbed Vi, holding them back from having a full-on punch up. Mum didn’t often talk about Topher, choosing to mostly pretend he’d never existed. I think it just kind of hurt her too much to think about him since he’d disappeared when he was sixteen. Well, I say ‘disappeared’, but we all knew he’d run away. He cancelled his phone, left me a note that didn’t really explain anything and just never came back.

  Mum even mentioning Topher was a big deal, and Vi coming out and all but saying that his disappearance was Mum’s fault was the lowest of low blows. Who knew that tonight’s barbecue was going to be so dramatic? This felt like an episode of The Bold and the Beautiful. All that needed to happen now was that I’d turn out to be pregnant to Violet’s Pilates instructor and the episode would be complete.

  “Mum, calm down,” I said, even though I was just about ready to punch Vi myself.

  “Janine,” said James, addressing my mother over his own mother’s shoulder, “I personally think you’ve got every right to punch her after what she just said, but maybe we should all take a deep breath and calm down for the sake of the children watching.”

  He nodded to his left where all the nieces and nephews, along with Gracie, were standing open-mouthed, whatever game they had previously been playing totally forgotten. My dad was standing near them, still drinking his beer and staring off into the distance. I wasn’t sure he’d even noticed what was going on.

  At the sight of the kids, both our mums reluctantly stopped struggling and nodded.

  “Shall we adjourn to the dining room?” I said.

  “Good idea,” said James.

  As we walked back inside in single file, James and I keeping our hands on our respective mothers’ shoulders in case we needed to restrain them again, I glanced back over my shoulder.

  “William!” I called. “You need to come and moderate.”

  “I don’t know if that’s a great –”

  “You’re the only one here with counselling experience. Get in here.”

  He followed us inside. I sat on one side of the dining table with Janine while Vi and James sat on the other side, Will sitting at the head of the table.

  “Right,” said Will. “Where should we start?”

  Hmm, good question. Which one of the several billion latent issues should we address first?

  “How about Vi apologises to Janine and we go from there?” James suggested.

  “You’re taking her side?” said Vi.

  “Of course I am. It’s not her fault Topher left.”

  “How can you know that?”

  “Because he –” James hesitated. “Because – I just know, alright?”

  My eyes just about popped out of my head. James was lying, I was sure of it. More than that, he was hiding something.

  “What aren’t you telling us, James?” I asked.

  “What? I don’t know what –”

  “You’re lying! Did he say something to you before he left?”

  Will didn’t say anything, but he was watching James intently too.

  “No, he didn’t say anything to me,” said James. “He was my best friend. I just know.”

  “Bullshit,” I said. “Tell the truth. What –” Suddenly I had a thought. Of course! Why hadn’t I realised this before? “He left you a note! Why the hell didn’t you tell me you got one too?”

  James looked like a deer in the headlights. “I – it wasn’t – I –”

  “What did it say?” I demanded.

  “Nothing. Boring. Same as yours.” He didn’t look me in the eye as he answered.

  “Stop lying! What did it say?”

  “I thought we were here to talk about Janine and Violet, not me. Right, Will?”

  James was clearly panicked if he was addressing Will directly. They weren’t exactly buddies these days.

  “Not anymore,” said Will. “What did your note say?”

  I frowned as I watched Will stare at James. Something about what Will had said was sitting a little strangely, but I couldn’t quite put my finger on…

  “Oh my god, William McKenzie, you got one too!” I said. “And you never told me, you prick!”

  “Language!” said Will.

  “Both of you tell me what your notes said immediately.”

  “Mine was the same as yours, Charlie,” said James, still avoiding eye contact.

  “It definitely wasn’t! I know you lied in your interview with the police, James McKenzie.”

  Finally he looked directly at me. “How could you possibly know that?”

  Shit. “I – uh, I…”

  “Did you break into the police station again? For fuck’s sake, Charlie!”

  “Again?” said Will. “Charlie!”

  “No, you two are not going to gang up on me. I am not the one on trial here.”

  “On trial? Really? I didn’t realise anyone was on trial,” James said.

  “I’m pretty sure Vi was on trial at the start of this Jerry Springer episode,” said my mother.

  “What did your notes say?” I repeated.

  “What did the bottom half of yours say?” James asked me.


  Shit. He had me there. Sure, I’d handed in Topher’s I’m running away letter to the police, but I’d torn the bottom half – the important half – off first.

  “If you know that there’s a bottom half, then you must have gotten your own note.”

  James sighed. “Yes, alright, I did. I got a note too, and I didn’t give it to the police because it wasn’t important and it was personal. It didn’t say where he was going or anything. OK?”

  I paused and then nodded once before looking at Will.

  “Mine… Like James said, there wasn’t anything important in it. It was just a goodbye letter with some stuff I didn’t really want other people reading. That’s all.”

  Our mums watched on in bewilderment.

  “I apologise, Janine,” said Vi. “We’ve both raised equally unstable children.”

  Mum just nodded. I think this was all a little overwhelming for her.

  “Right, well,” I said. “That’s item number one. Next?”

  “Um…” said Will, shifting uncomfortably. “Well, OK. James, I think that you kind of need to know the whole story about my – uh – my overdose. You see, Mum and Dad were just…”

  “Worried about you,” James finished. He nodded. “I get it.”

  He still didn’t look totally comfortable with the situation, but I was glad he was at least willing to be in the same room as Will now.

  “James, I’m really sorry. If I’d known… It was so unfair and I totally get why you hate me, but –”

  “I don’t hate you,” said James, frowning.

  “I get it, James. You don’t have to spare my feelings.”

  “Will, I don’t hate you. I was just angry with you.” He paused. “Really angry. Like angrier than I’ve ever been with anyone else.”

  Will smiled a little. “Yeah, I picked up on that.”

  James gave a small smile in return. “Anyway, the point is that it – it’s time to move on. So I’m going to try my best to get over it.”

  Will nodded. “And I promise I won’t hide any more drugs in your room,” he said with a nervous laugh. There was an awkward moment of silence and Will’s face fell slightly when James didn’t seem to find his joke funny, but then James smiled and the tension left the room.

  “Right, that would be a good start,” said James. “Anyway, I – I’m sorry I’ve been so…”

  “Horrendously immature?” I suggested.

  “Have you ever heard the story about the pot and the kettle?” James shot back. I rolled my eyes and he continued speaking. “My point is, it’s probably time to grow up, seeing as Charlie is now speaking to Celia again and –”

  “Wait, what?” Mum asked. “When did this happen?”

  “A couple of weeks ago. That’s why James came tonight – he didn’t want to seem like he was the tricky one out of the two of us.”

  Mum nodded. “That’s fair. I can’t imagine anyone wanting to seem more difficult than you.”

  “Anyway,” said James, looking around the table at all of us, “are we all good now?”

  We all nodded and murmured ‘yes’.

  “Right,” he said. “Let’s go out and eat something.”

  Chapter Five

  “I need a drink,” said James once we were back out in the yard. “Want one?”

  I shook my head. “Can’t,” I said. “I’m driving.”

  “We can get a taxi home,” said James. “My shout.”

  I smiled. “Alright,” I said finally. “I’ll have a glass of wine. Preferably something sickly sweet. I want to leave this party with cavities.”

  He smiled at me. “Will?”

  “Sure,” said Will. “Surprise me.”

  While James was off getting beverages, Will turned to me.

  “OK, I think you might be a magician. How the hell did you convince him to come today? He only said a couple of snarky things and now he’s fetching drinks for me.”

  I shifted in my seat. I didn’t want to tell Will, but I was pretty sure part of that had to do with the fact that James wanted to get his hands on the note Topher had left Will. I’d been watching James at the table and I’d seen the expression cross his face when he’d realised that Will had another piece of the puzzle. His sudden civility towards his brother bothered me, and I found myself wondering if that was the reason James was being so nice to me – to find out more about Topher.

  “Yeah, I’m pretty amazing,” I said, watching Mum and Vi dance together while the kids conducted a dance competition. It amazed me how two people who could forgive each other within ten minutes had raised children who could hold grudges for half a decade. “I don’t suppose you want to tell me more about that letter?”

  “You going to tell me more about yours?”

  I took a deep breath before answering. “It said he’d be back.”

  “So did mine.” He paused. “Do you think he will?”

  “Well, I’ve never known him to break a promise.”

  James returned with drinks in hand. He handed Will a bottle of Peroni and gave me a glass of moscato before dragging over a seat and sitting with us. When he noticed the awkward silence, he looked between the two of us. “Did I interrupt something?”

  “No,” I said. I figured now wasn’t the time to ask him about the note. I’d get him drunk and extract information from him later. Then I might get a more honest response. James was quite the chatty drunk. “We were just discussing who would have won in a fight between Janine and Violet.”

  “Oh, Janine, obviously,” said James.

  “Really? You’d discount Mum that quickly?” Will asked.

  “Mum’s scary,” James agreed, “but Janine is downright terrifying.”

  We nodded in agreement. It was true.

  I felt my phone buzz in my pocket. Adam. I picked it up, walking away from the main group to a quieter spot so I could hear him.

  “Hey!” I said. “What’s up? What’s going on?”

  “It’s all good,” Adam answered. “He’ll be in Gerongate Hospital early in the morning. Is it alright if Gracie stays with you tonight?”

  “Yeah, sure,” I said. She wasn’t exactly a burden.

  “She looking after you properly?”

  I laughed. “Of course.”

  “Can I talk to her for a bit?”

  “Sure,” I said. I found Gracie and gave her the phone before walking back over to James and Will.

  “Everything OK?” James asked.

  I nodded.

  “Is Tim OK?”

  “Yeah,” I answered. “They’re flying back here tonight. Gracie is going to stay with me tonight and then Adam will come and get her tomorrow.”

  “What happened?” Will asked.

  “I don’t really know. He wasn’t in a good way, though. His face was all bruised and his eye was swollen shut. He was still awake enough to insult my choice of clothing, though, so he can’t be that badly injured.”

  “What, he’s not a Gators man?” James asked with a grin.

  Will frowned. “I wasn’t aware that Charlie was a Gators man either.”

  I rolled my eyes. “Mum gave me the shirt for my birthday in retaliation for buying her that parenting book.”

  Will laughed. “It’s a wonder your mum’s as sane as she is with the kids she ended up with.”

  The next morning Adam and Ellie arrived a little after nine to pick up Gracie. I hadn’t stayed very late at the barbecue the night before because the moment I’d started to get tipsy Gracie had insisted that I call a taxi, saying it was ‘way past my bedtime’. To be honest, I was glad to have someone so responsible looking out for me.

  “Morning,” I said when I answered the door.

  “Morning,” said Adam. “How was your day?”

  I tried to form a coherent response, I really did. The thing was, Adam was wearing a suit. It was navy blue and under it he wore a white button up shirt, open at the neck and with no tie. I’d seen him in a suit before, but without adequate preparation I was having
a little trouble keeping myself from drooling, much less forming such a complicated sentence as ‘Good thanks’.

  Gracie came barrelling up to us, saving me from having to say anything. “It was great. We did an obstacle course and Charlie’s friend pushed James into the pool then we went to a barbecue and two old ladies nearly had a punch up.”

  To her credit, Ellie didn’t even look that shocked. “Um, that sounds… fun.”

  “Sounds like a pretty typical day out with Charlie,” Adam said.

  “Can we go and see Uncle Timmy now?” Grace asked.

  Ellie smiled and nodded. “Yeah,” she said. “Let’s go.”

  “Can I –” I began, but Adam shook his head.

  “You and I can go and see Tim later, but firstly I’ve got a job for us.”

  I frowned. “A job? It’s Sunday.”

  “What, you got something better to do?”

  I paused. “I could.”

  “Like what?”

  “Church?”

  He gave me a look of disbelief. Yeah, OK, that was kind of a stretch.

  I groaned. “Fine. What’s the job?”

  “Dad wants us to go and do security at a brunch thing.”

  “Brunch?” I repeated. “Who the hell needs security at a brunch?”

  He shrugged. “Apparently there are politicians there or something. They’ll have security on the door, but they want a couple of low profile people in the room to keep an eye out for potential threats too.”

  “Why do you want me there?” I asked, confused. I was hardly the most qualified staff member for it, given that I was technically a receptionist.

  “I have no idea,” said Adam. “You wouldn’t have been my first pick. Dad was insistent, though.”

  “But I want to nap,” I said. Well, whined.

  Adam sighed. “You don’t have to do your exercise tomorrow if you work today.”

  “I’m in,” I said, possibly a little too quickly.

  Adam rolled his eyes at me, but he was smiling a little. “Go and suit up, then. And I do mean an actual suit.”

  Ten (OK, twenty) minutes later I came back down the stairs wearing a matching navy blazer and high waisted skirt with a mustard-yellow crop top.

  “Suit-able enough for you?”

  He smiled. “Let’s bounce.”

 

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