by Meg Maxwell
Edmund shook his head. “I’m not so sure. Madam Miranda said that Sarah was my second great love. That doesn’t mean I’m hers. You can be madly in love with someone who doesn’t love you back. Isn’t that the basis of most love songs?”
Carson had thought of that last night when he’d been talking to Sarah in front of her home. But hadn’t Sarah said the fortune worked both ways?
And that she’d fight it?
Dammit. Had he gone through all this only to finally come around and then deliver the woman straight into father’s arms when she’d break his heart, after all?
“She’s just stunning,” Edmund was saying in a dreamy tone, staring at the wall. “Those green eyes. And her voice. So melodic. She has such a fierce intellect, too. And despite the complicated quest she’ll be embarking on, her sense of humor shines through. What a woman.”
Carson stared at his father. Good grief. The man was in love. After fifty minutes.
“I miss her just being in here,” Edmund whispered.
Whoa, boy.
* * *
“So, Aunt Sarah,” Olivia asked as Carson and Edmund were busy in the kitchen. “Was Mom wrong? You don’t seem to be very taken with Edmund.”
“Are you kidding?” Sarah whispered. “I’m fighting my attraction to that amazing man with every fiber of my being. He’s so handsome! And kind. There’s such complexity to him. And the way he talks about his grandson is so sweet. Did you notice he has one dimple?”
Olivia laughed. “Yes. His son has the same. The grandson, too.”
“But,” Sarah said, her smile fading, “I’m not here for romance. The timing just isn’t right. I want to find the twins, Olivia, and I don’t know how I’m going to feel when I do. It’s been so long since I allowed myself to think about those babies. And suddenly I’m going to meet them? I might not be able to handle it.”
“You’ve been so strong, Sarah,” Olivia said. “You’ll be able to handle it. I’ll be with you every step of the way, if you’ll let me.”
Sarah took her hand. “I’d like that. It means so much to me that you’d support me after I abandoned you the way I did. I wasn’t even there for you when you lost your mother.” Tears glistened in Sarah’s eyes.
“I understand what happened, Sarah. I know how sometimes blocks can keep people away, how fear can grow and become a wall. But you’re here. You’re back. That’s all that matters to me—the present and future.”
Sarah leaned over and hugged Olivia. “Thank you.”
“I understand what you mean about not wanting to acknowledge how you feel about Edmund,” Olivia said. “But to push love away? Especially when you need it the most?”
“One thing at a time,” Sarah said. “I’ve fought my feelings for the past thirty-two years. Literally repressed them. I’m a master at it, unfortunately. I can fight my feelings for a man I just met.”
“Your predicted great love,” Olivia clarified with a smile. “That’s a little different than ‘a man you just met.’”
Carson and Edmund came back into the dining room just then, Carson holding a tray with four fancy dishes of gelato. Olivia wondered at the conversation the two Ford men had had in the kitchen. If her aunt was smitten with Edmund, he must be smitten with her. He was very likely keeping himself in check so he wouldn’t send Sarah running for the hills. Smart man.
After dessert and coffee, Carson said that he would start the process of finding the twins tomorrow morning.
Sarah nodded and stood up. “It’s been quite a day and evening. I think I’ll head home.”
“I’d love it if you stayed with me,” Olivia said. “Carson may need you in the morning to verify information or look at records.”
“I’d like that,” Sarah said.
As Olivia and her aunt headed to the door, the Ford men followed.
Sarah thanked Carson for dinner, and then told Edmund how nice it was to meet him. Olivia had the overpowering desire to stay, to convince her aunt to stay and linger with these two men they both clearly wanted to be with.
But her time with Carson was coming to an end. Had come an end, really. He’d done what he said he was going to do.
“Thank you,” Olivia whispered to Carson, fighting the urge to lift her hand to his cheek, to kiss him.
And then she and her aunt were out the door, heading down the bluestone path to their cars in the driveway.
As they reached Sarah’s car, her aunt said, “Tomorrow morning may change my entire life. Even the thought of having the twins’ contact information scares me. I’m so damned afraid of not knowing what to expect.” She shook her head. “Isn’t that ironic. I suddenly wish I had a crystal ball.”
Olivia squeezed her aunt’s hand. “We’ll face tomorrow together. You and me.”
Sarah squeezed back. “Looks like there’s already a ‘you and me’ where you’re concerned,” she said, upping her chin at the door, where Carson and Edmund both stood, watching them approach their cars. “You love that man. I know you do. I know it without having a shred of special ability.”
She did love him. And it was her heart that was going to get broken in all this.
Chapter Thirteen
At one thirty in the afternoon the next day, Carson and Olivia waited in the reception area of Adoption Connections in Houston, the agency that had handled the twins’ case. Carson had called first thing that morning to make an appointment for Sarah, and she’d been behind closed doors with the assistant director for almost a half hour.
“How does it work?” Olivia asked Carson, staring down the hallway. The pale yellow walls were lined with photographs of babies and children of all ages and races and shapes and sizes. “Will my aunt receive the names and addresses of the twins?”
Carson glanced at Olivia, who sat fidgeting beside him on the padded chair. He picked up her hand and held it for a moment. “The assistant director told me over the phone that once a clear match was made between adoptee and birth parent, that both would receive the contact information left by the other. So Sarah should receive a name and telephone number at the very least of the twin who initiated contract. Maybe at this point, both twins did.”
“I wish I knew what was going on in there,” Olivia said, straining her neck to see down the hall. “I wish we could have gone in there with her, but I understand that she wanted to talk to the assistant director alone.”
Full circle, Sarah had said. She knew she had the support of Carson and her niece, but she wanted to be strong and come full circle. Carson felt for her as she’d walked down the hall alone. He’d wanted to stand up and tell her that she didn’t have to be so tough, that she did have their support—and the support of a great man waiting for her in Blue Gulch, if only she’d open up her heart.
But who was he to talk about opening hearts?
The drive up to Houston had been tense, to say the least. Carson had picked up Sarah and Olivia at nine that morning, with coffee and muffins, but both women had been too nervous to partake. Sarah had mostly looked out the window. He’d been so aware of Olivia in the seat next to him. She wore a denim skirt and a pale pink blazer, her hair in a low ponytail like her aunt’s. He’d held her hand throughout most of the long drive, and the fact that she’d let him was more startling than the realization that he cared that much about her. He knew he did, but every time he caught a glimpse of their hands intertwined, a strange chill would run up his spine, then settle, then sneak up again. Still, he’d left his hand where it was.
“I think I hear a door opening,” Olivia said, standing up.
Carson stood, too, as footsteps came from down the hall. He could hear Sarah thanking the assistant director, and finally, she appeared, clutching a document and an envelope. She looked a bit stressed, but hopeful at the same time.
“Only one of the twins had in
itiated contact,” Sarah said. “He left this letter for the file,” she added, looking at it and biting her lip. She handed the envelope to Carson. “Will you read the letter, Carson?”
He nodded and they sat back down, Carson between the two women. He opened the envelope and took out a piece of white paper and began reading.
“I can’t address this letter since I don’t know your name or what to call you. Dear Birth Mother sounds too cold. I’ve often thought about you, but ever since I discovered I have a twin brother I never knew existed, I’ve decided to try to make contact. Please write back, email or call.
“Jake Morrow
“Black Bear Ranch
“RR 8
“Mill Valley, Texas”
“Jake Morrow,” Sarah repeated, tears in her eyes.
It was dated five years earlier and included a telephone number and email address. Carson handed the letter to Sarah, who read it herself, then put it back inside the envelope.
“Jake Morrow. It’s a nice name,” Olivia said. “You okay, Aunt Sarah?”
Sarah twisted her lips. “Right before I gave birth I asked one of the nurses if the twins were going to be adopted together but I was told that was classified. Now I know they weren’t.”
“Do you think this is what my mother knew?” Olivia asked Sarah. “That one of the twins was trying to find the other?”
“Probably,” Sarah said. “I’d like to help him do that, but I’m not sure how I can.”
Carson had a feeling that Sarah wasn’t ready to pick up the phone herself. “Mill Valley is just a couple of hours from Blue Gulch County,” he said. “I could call Jake and arrange a meeting, if you’d like.”
“I appreciate that. Although I’m not sure how much I can help with locating his twin.”
“I can get started on that,” Carson said. “Plus, even though the twins were adopted separately, Jake may have more information that he realizes. Parents, grandparents, old records, attics—you never know what you’ll find or what’s right in your house.”
“In a matter of days I might actually be in contact with one of those tiny babies,” Sarah said, her expression a combination of hope and wistfulness. “I almost can’t believe it. My mother insisted it was for the best that I put it behind me and never speak of it. I wonder if she was trying to protect me by doing that, by acting as though none of it ever happened.”
“But it did happen,” Olivia said gently.
Sarah nodded and squeezed her niece’s hand. “Yes, it most certainly did. And as strange as it feels to suddenly have it be the focus of my life, it feels good, too. And right. If I could know that the twins are okay, I would be at peace.”
Olivia slung her arm around her aunt. “Well, we’re here for you, Sarah. You know that right?”
Sarah nodded. “Thank you, both. From the bottom of my heart.” She stood up. “Let’s head home.”
Carson noticed that Sarah kept the letter from Jake in her hand instead of putting it in her purse. She felt a connection to him and was letting herself feel it, which was good. She wasn’t shutting down or off. Carson had a good feeling about all this.
* * *
Finally, three hours later, they arrived back at Olivia’s house, a huge bouquet of wildflowers waiting in a round basket on the porch. Olivia plucked the card. It was addressed to Sarah.
“For me?” Sarah asked, taking the card. She read.
Dear Sarah,
I hope today went well. I recall you said last night at dinner that wildflowers always made you feel better. If you could use an ear or a distraction, I’m available. 555-2345
Yours,
Edmund Ford
Sarah breathed in the colorful bouquet, a soft smile on her face. “That was thoughtful and very kind. I’ll call to thank him.” At the door, she turned to Carson. “Thank you again for everything.”
“My pleasure,” Carson said, watching Sarah head inside.
Olivia wasn’t surprised at his father’s gesture. That was his dad.
“Come in for a cup of coffee?” Olivia asked on the porch. She knew he probably wanted to get home to Danny, but she wanted to prolong his leaving for just five more minutes.
“I should get home,” he said. “But after six hours in the car today, I could use a strong cup of coffee.”
Good, she thought. Me, too. In the kitchen, Olivia lifted an ear toward the doorway and smiled. “I still hear her talking,” she whispered to Carson. “Maybe she’s loosening up on her stronghold against love.”
“I hope so.” If anyone needed love in her life, Olivia thought, it was Sarah Mack.
“Now she’s laughing,” Olivia said. “That’s nice to hear.”
Carson nodded. “A huge weight was lifted off her chest. She did something she’s probably been thinking about, fretting over for five years. All that had been blocking her before may naturally lift away. She may be readier for a relationship than she realizes.”
And you? she wanted to ask. You are, too, and just don’t know it.
Or was that wishful thinking?
Her aunt acted and was getting results. She was taking charge, doing something. It was time for Olivia to do the same. She loved this man and she was going to show him. She was going to ask for what she wanted. Him.
She slid her arms around Carson’s neck and kissed him, backing him against the counter.
At first, he responded, deepening the kiss, his hand weaving in her hair, down her back, his other hand sliding up her tank top toward her bra. Every nerve ending was on delicious fire. She pressed herself against him, her hands against his muscular chest, never wanting this moment to end. Carson, Carson, Carson.
But the moment did end.
He slowly pulled away, shaking his head. “I want you so bad, Olivia. You have no idea. But—” He stepped farther away, straightening his shirt, his expression...wary, and her heart crumbled.
She turned her face away so that he wouldn’t see how disappointed she was. She moved to the coffeemaker, pretending great interest in lining up the creamer and sugar bowl. But I don’t love you and don’t want to hurt you. She had no doubt that was the rest of the sentence.
“I—” he began, but said nothing else.
Oh, hell. “I appreciate what you’re doing for my aunt,” she said, trying to keep her voice even. “She’ll keep me informed about Jake and your progress locating the other twin, so...”
So... Don’t leave, she wanted to scream. Stop me from trying to save face and make this less uncomfortable for you. Tell me you love me and I’m worth blasting through your wall for.
She could feel him staring at her, and she glanced at him, his hazel-green eyes flashing with an intensity. She thought he might say something, but he just nodded and left.
From down the hall, she could hear her aunt telling Edmund Ford a funny story about the time she colored her own hair a bright orange. The sound of her aunt’s light laughter was like a soothing balm against her own crumbling heart.
* * *
Carson had spent a restless night tossing and turning and thinking about Olivia, about the expression on her beautiful face when he’d walked out last night. Didn’t she know how badly he wanted her? That he loved her but couldn’t face it and so would rather just ignore his feelings by not acting on them.
Like her aunt was. Who he knew was making a huge mistake by doing so.
Why was his life not making sense? This was nuts. Why could he see it for Sarah and not himself.
Because she’s not you, dummy, he told himself. It’s easy to think this or that about someone else and a lot harder to practice what you preach.
And while he’d been calling himself a fool for knowing what was what and still refusing to do anything about it—such as go get his woman and tell her he was a dope and th
at he loved her and wanted to spend his life with her—he’d stayed put on his couch. Not doing any of the above. Paralyzed with... “I can’t-itis.” Then his father had kept him on the phone for an hour, sounding like a dreamy romantic who couldn’t stop talking about the woman he loved. Apparently, Edmund and Sarah had spent almost two hours on the phone, talking about everything. His father sounded so happy, so lighthearted, so hopeful that his second great love was going to open her heart to him, after all, that Carson had almost called Olivia and asked her to come over since Danny was sleeping.
But the thought of Danny stopped him in his tracks again. Danny. Left by his mother. Now here Carson was, about to open his life and home and heart to another woman. He’d trusted the first time around, thought he’d had everything he wanted, thought his family would be forever.
But it wasn’t.
For himself, for Danny, he’d stay a lone wolf.
Now, he sat in his home office, taking another sip of the very strong coffee he’d made and watched the clock finally hit 9:00 a.m, a reasonable time to make telephone calls.
He picked up his cell phone and pressed in the number Jake Morrow had left in the letter. Carson had easily found his home telephone number, as well.
A deep voice answered. “Hello.”
“Jake Morrow?” Carson asked.
“Speaking.”
“My name is Carson Ford. I’m a private investigator in Blue Gulch County. Your birth mother, Sarah Mack, asked me to contact you. Via Adoption Connections of Houston, she received the letter you sent five years ago about your interest in finding your biological twin brother. She’d like to meet you and help locate him, if she can.”
Jake Morrow was silent for a moment. “I appreciate the call,” he said. “But that was five years ago. A lot’s happened in that time. I’m no longer interested in contact with either my birth mother or my twin brother. Thanks for calling, though. Goodbye.”
Click.
Oh, dammit.
* * *
Though she wasn’t due at Hurley’s Homestyle Kitchen food truck until eleven thirty, Olivia headed over at nine thirty, needing to get out of the house, plus she wanted to give Sarah some privacy. She heard her talking to Edmund on the telephone again this morning. There was flirtation. Laughter. Happiness. Olivia’s heart had leaped for her aunt, but she herself was down in the dumps this morning. She’d had a horrible night’s sleep, unable to get comfortable, waking up and thinking about a certain sexy private investigator who was acting like his own worst enemy.
