She nodded, her eyes searching his face. "How could his soul be in Heaven when he is still here on Earth?"
Ken Jin shook his head. "I do not know, Miss Charlotte."
She abruptly pushed up from the table to pace about the room. Her energy followed, spiking across his skin when she was near, fading to almost nothing when she moved away. Then she stopped just behind him, forcing him to turn to feel her radiance on his face.
"Don't lie to me, Ken Jin."
He blinked. "I am not lying."
"But you're not telling the whole truth, are you? You're being a servant again."
He blinked again. "I do not understand."
"But you do understand!" Her voice rose in accusation. "You see and hear everything, and you know what I'm talking about. You just won't explain."
Her radiance had grown, and so he stood to face her, to feel it against his entire body. Except, as he straightened, he realized he had a problem. His jade stalk had grown. Indeed, his dragon was thick and heavy against his trousers when he should not have had the yang to do anything. It was clearly her leftover glory affecting him. He needed to stay with her longer, perhaps reabsorb some of what he had lost.
"Ken Jin!"
His focus snapped back. "Miss?"
She flounced back into a chair, this time the one beside him. From there she simply stared at him. "I think we're well beyond the 'miss' stage, don't you?"
He frowned. Sometimes the English language could have extra meanings. Perhaps—
"Call me Charlotte. Not Miss Charlotte, not miss, just Charlotte. Or better yet, Char."
"Char?"
She grabbed his hand. He hadn't even realized she'd moved, but suddenly her warmth surrounded his wrist, her power penetrating through his arm, and his dragon reared up even farther. She drew him closer, back down into his seat, and he had no choice but to comply though his heart raced to understand this strange white woman. What did she want from him?
"I do not have your answers," he said. "You have ascended beyond my understanding."
"Damn it, Ken Jin!" she exploded, her hand tightening around his. "Stop being a servant!"
"But I am a servant!"
"Not anymore!" She threw his hand away. She exploded out of her chair again, only to spin around as if searching for something to do, somewhere to go.
"I have never been to Heaven, Miss... Char. I have never even gone to the Antechamber as you did tonight. If the Tigress Shi Po were here, I would take you straight to her. I would have her counsel you, but she is in prison, locked up with her husband so that we cannot even see her." His voice deepened as he spoke those words, and he rushed to cover the pain he felt. "I do not know what you want me to do."
She turned back to him, her shoulders slumped in defeat. "You cannot tell me why my brother's spirit is both in Heaven and here on Earth?"
He shook his head.
"You have no idea at all?"
He hesitated, and she pounced. She rushed forward and dropped back into her seat, but only the closest edge of it. The rest of her was leaning into him, grabbing his hands, and peering into his eyes. "Tell me, Ken Jin. Tell me what you think."
He could not deny her, not with her qi pressing into every pore of his body. "Could that not be the explanation?" She frowned, so he rushed to explain. "Could that be the reason William is the way he is?"
"Slow?"
He nodded. "If part of his spirit is in Heaven and part..."
"Here in his body..."
"Such a split spirit would be incomplete in both places."
She blinked, and he watched comprehension flow through her body. Never one to remain still, she widened her eyes as her shoulders dropped and her spine straightened. Then her hips and feet shifted as well. "All we have to do is reunite them, then. We must get the rest of his spirit into his body, and he will be normal!"
Ken Jin didn't move. He didn't dare. Though the idea sounded logical, he felt a dissonance, as if they had a piece of the answer but not the whole. But Charlotte had no such restraint. She widened her feet, preparing to leap up again, then apparently changed her mind. Her hands tightened on his.
"How do we do it?" she asked. "Can I just bring his soul back and take it to my brother? Or does William have to do what I did—rejoin himself up there?" A shudder went through her. "No, we can't do that to William. I can't see him... well, I just can't do that with my brother." She frowned. "But if it's the only way..." She bit her lip. "But I can't."
"He cannot ascend," Ken Jin said. His voice was hard, which snapped her wandering attention back to him.
"He can't?"
Ken Jin shook his head. "I have studied for over a decade and have never once ascended. It takes a great deal of discipline and focus."
"But all I had to do was..." She trailed off, and her skin flushed a dark rose.
"It is different for women, and you had a great deal of help." All of his yang, in fact; but he did not say that aloud. "A man must withhold his seed for many years. He must cultivate his yang power through mediation and discipline." He stared hard at her, willing her to understand. "He must hold in his yang power, Miss Charlotte. He cannot release it."
Her eyes abruptly widened. "Ohhhh." Her voice trailed away. Thankfully, she had already been educated on the mechanics of a man's dragon. Indeed, young master William had lately been caught releasing his yang on a regular basis.
"Years?" she whispered. "No, he could never hold off that long." She abruptly frowned, looking down at him. "You changed your pants."
He pressed his lips together, but she had already guessed the truth. Nothing would stop her from saying it aloud now.
"You didn't hold off. I saw the wetness. You released your yang."
"Yes." His throat closed up after that one word.
"After years? How many years?"
He couldn't speak. He could only look down at their entwined hands as he tried to pull free.
"Ken Jin—"
"Fourteen years of practice. Eight years of purifying restraint."
"Eight years? You have held off for eight years, and then I manage it on my first night?" She suddenly gasped. "Oh my God, you gave it to me. All that yang—eight years' worth—you gave it to me. Oh God, Ken Jin, why? Why would you—"
"It was not a gift!"
But she would not be interrupted. "You said you would teach me, that you would make me stronger to fight my mother, so you gave me all that power. Eight years' worth. Oh, Ken Jin..." She stopped, and he could see that his words had finally reached her consciousness.
"It was not a gift?" she whispered.
He shook his head.
"But... I didn't steal it, Ken Jin. I wouldn't know how!"
He had no response to that. He didn't know what to think.
Bit by bit, he watched the light fade from her eyes.
"That's why you hate me now. That's why you're acting like a servant again. Because I took your yang." She bit her lip in dismay. "Eight years, Ken Jin. All gone."
He felt his jaw clench. He knew what had happened. Did she have to keep repeating it?
"But I didn't mean to. You understand that, don't you? You know it wasn't on purpose."
He didn't answer, even though he knew it was true. Other women might have stolen it, if they'd known how. Other women would have taken all he had and more, if he'd allowed them. But not Charlotte. She would never be so cruel.
"Ken Jin!"
"It doesn't matter how it left, my yang power is gone." He kept the anger from his voice. Still, his despair slipped through as he dropped his gaze away.
"But you can get it back, right? You can get more?"
He thought of the hours of meditation, the thousands of needles he had pressed into his flesh, and the accumulated yin from countless women. Could he do it again? Could he gather such power again?
"No," he whispered. The very thought left him weak and cold. Perhaps another day he would think differently. After a night's rest, perhaps he would have the st
rength to try again. But now, after a long and fruitless day, he felt too much a failure to even contemplate hope.
"Don't be ridiculous," she snapped. "Of course you can."
He felt a surge of humor at her forceful words. "You would instruct me, Miss Charlotte?"
"Yes, I would—Kenny."
His gaze narrowed at the Anglicization of his name. Why did she insist on this bizarre familiarity between them? She suddenly smiled at him, decision written in every line of her straightening body.
"You're tired. I'm tired. Neither of us is thinking straight."
True enough. But...
"We will sleep tonight and attack this problem again tomorrow. You'll feel differently, I'm sure. We'll renew your yang, and then we'll do things again. Both of us together. We'll both go to Heaven this time and talk to William there." She frowned. "He'll know how to do it, won't he? How to rejoin his body on Earth?"
Ken Jin opened his mouth to answer, but no words came forth. He had no idea what the angelic William knew or didn't know.
"Of course, he will," she continued. "He'll know, and he'll tell us, and then we'll do it. Then my brother will be normal, and everything will be just perfect."
"Miss Charlotte—" he began.
"Char!" she snapped, a flash of anger pushing through her determined cheer. "We are compatriots now, Kenny. Coconspirators, so to speak, with a joint mission."
He stared at her. He looked hard and waited while her false cheer withered. When he spoke, it was to a subdued but still determined Charlotte.
"My name is not Kenny, Miss Charlotte, and we are not compatriots in anything. My yang is gone, and I will not get it back again ever. I cannot free the Tigress or her husband from prison, and I will never ascend to Heaven with you or anyone else." With a supreme act of will, he pushed up from his chair, stepped away from her, and crossed to the door. "We are done, Miss Charlotte. It was an ill-conceived idea from the beginning, and I regret ever attempting this course."
"Ken Jin—"
"Good night, Miss Charlotte." He bowed to her, then turned to exit.
"Ken Jin!" she called, and he froze at her tone. He was too good a servant not to. He looked back at her.
"You are angry, and you have every right to be. You are tired and frustrated and... and I don't know what else, but I'm sure you're it." She huffed as she stood and folded her arms. "But you're completely off if you think we can stop. You're not just my servant, and I'm not just your employer. Not anymore."
"We are not lovers," he said, his voice harsh. "We are not friends. We are not even partners as a Tigress and Dragon should be. I taught, and you learned. I gave, and you soared." His voice caught, and his chest caved in slightly from the pain. "I am one man, Miss Charlotte, and a tired one at that. I can do no more."
She crossed the room to his side. He expected to see determination in her stride, or maybe fury at being denied. He saw compassion instead: a stunning softness in her eyes and a gentleness in her face. She stood before him, so close that she had to tilt her head upward to look into his eyes. He didn't want to be this close. He didn't want to shift his gaze down to her, but the wall prevented his retreat, and his dragon urged him forward.
"I see I have handled this very badly," Charlotte whispered. "I am sorry for that, Ken Jin. But it is all so new to me, and you have always been strong. I'd begun to think you could do anything."
He opened his mouth to speak, though he had no idea what to say. She didn't give him the chance; she pressed her finger to his lips.
"I don't want you to do anything, Ken Jin. It's my turn to do the doing." She frowned at her own awkward wording. "I've seen Joanna's scrolls. I will learn whatever needs to be done. I can—"
"No." He shook his head, dislodging her finger from his mouth, though the imprint lingered. "It is not so easy—"
She kissed him. She surged up onto her toes and pressed her mouth to his.
The sacred texts spoke at length about kissing. Over the years, he had studied a great deal about the art of lips and tongues. Miss Charlotte had obviously read none of them. Her approach was too rushed, her force too strong. She knew to open her mouth, but had no idea why. In the end he had to catch her about the waist to prevent them both from toppling over. And yet, as his arm wrapped around her, he felt her yin power sear his skin like a brand. Not even Little Pearl had such energy.
He meant to set her away from him. He meant to end this disaster with some dignity, and with the cold firmness he had developed for whenever a white woman became too demanding. He did not. Instead, he drew her lush body flush against him, surrounding himself with her power. And when it was not enough, he dove deeper. He pushed his tongue into her mouth.
He had read the sacred scrolls, so he knew how to kiss. He knew how to begin with a single brush of his tongue, how to coax with a wet caress, how to entice with a little suction. All these skills came into play, and she responded with such yin that his body grew hot and hard.
How wondrous was her mouth. How full were her breasts. How yielding were her thighs. He bent forward, arching her back over his arm. His tongue twisted with hers and her hands delved into his hair, drawing him down into her. Deeper. Fuller.
He took her breast in his free hand, shaping it to a tight point even through fabric and corset restraints. His knee pressed between her legs, working her skirt higher as she shifted and moaned. But mostly, he kissed her mouth. He plunged his tongue into her and tasted her yin. He drank of her unending power, using it to refill his own empty well.
She gave to him without complaint. She poured energy into him as a goddess into a supplicant. Her yin called to his yang, and his male energy surged forward to match her feminine power. And when he could drink no more—when he had to stop for breath—she pulled him back and gave him more.
How long did they merge in this manner? How long did he plunge into her mouth and drink from her stores? He didn't know. He had no idea except that it went on until he was satisfied, though his thirst had been overwhelming. Their kiss continued until his spirit was refilled and his dragon stretched high and proud.
He straightened, pulling back from her in a daze. She was pressed against the wall, and her dress had become completely disheveled. How they had come there, he didn't know. He had only pulled back because he needed more attention to release her gown and untie her corset. But now that he had drawn away, now that his mind was focusing on more than just her mouth, he knew what he had done, what they were doing.
"Ken Jin?" Her voice was a throaty rasp that fired the yang in his blood.
"I cannot," he whispered. "I cannot practice more tonight. I haven't the strength." It had been an exhausting day and night. And yet, new yang pulsed hot and free in his blood. Could he practice again? Was she powerful enough for the two of them?
Impossible! And yet, his dragon swelled with her power.
She blinked, and her tiny tongue wet her lips. She lifted a hand to her hair, brushing it down where the wall had tangled it. "You're right, of course," she said on a weak laugh. "I don't know what I was thinking."
He straightened away from her; gave a groan of mixed pleasure and pain. How long had it been since his dragon throbbed as it did now? How long since he had felt drugged with the heady potion of yin and yang in combination?
A few hours, only. But before Charlotte? A long, long time.
"So your yang is returning?" she asked as she looked at his jutting dragon.
He nodded dumbly. The evidence thrust proudly between them.
She smiled, and he felt the radiance of the sun in the simple gesture. "Then it won't take eight years this time. We can replenish your yang quickly." She lifted her gaze to his. "I swear, Ken Jin, I will work very hard at this. Night and day, whenever we can. We will replace what was lost, and then we will try again."
He stared at her, his mouth slack. What could he say against such determination? How could he deny either of them the hope that it was true, that she could indeed restore the work of eig
ht years? With her, his yang was more powerful, his energy more potent, the experience more heavenly than ever before. With a single kiss, she had given him the one thing he hadn't felt in so long: hope. With her, he believed he could be filled with qi, Heaven was attainable, and immortality was within reach. But only with her.
"My father said he had a business trip tomorrow."
"What?" Ken Jin blinked, his mind reeling as he tried to understand her words.
"My father is leaving on a business trip."
Ken Jin nodded. Mr. Wicks headed to Canton and his current favorite mistress.
"Mama intends to help with a prayer vigil tomorrow. I will convince her to stay at the mission. She'll be gone at least a day."
He knew this, too. He had to remember to check Mrs. Wicks's luggage in the morning. She often forgot her perfumed lotion when she went to the mission. Then she would send a messenger in the middle of the night to bring a bottle to her. There was also a special cushion for when she prayed.
"We must be sure to take William to the park again," Charlotte continued. "Add in a bath and a nap, and he will be occupied for hours!" She leaned forward, her eyes sparkling. "We can spend hours alone together!"
Except, Ken Jin had appointments all day on the docks.
A shipment for three of the Wicks tobacco shops was due in tomorrow. It wasn't the opium that made most of the Wicks money, but it was vital nonetheless. There would be customs taxes to pay, bills of lading to sort, and cargo to transport. Plus, Ken Jin suspected the dockmaster was extorting goods from the ship's captain, which often meant that the Wicks goods were just slightly underweight. Ken Jin meant to catch the man in the act and extort a refund for what had gone missing.
And on top of all that was the extra shipment of lace ordered under the Wicks name, but paid for from Ken Jin's own coffers. After taxes and transport, he ought to see a good profit from the transaction. But all of it had to be watched closely.
"Hours, Ken Jin. I can hardly wait for what we will study next." Charlotte's eyes sparkled with delight. "Could you finally show me how to play your jade flute, like in the pictures?"
Ken Jin didn't answer. Hope was such a fleeting thing, he realized. Now that their kiss was over, reality began to intrude. He recalled all the obstacles they faced, all the risks that remained. "Miss Charlotte, I cannot lose my job." All of his money was invested under her father's name. If he lost his job, he would lose everything.
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