by Aven Ellis
I put myself here.
How can I be so smart in my career, so strong, determined, and capable of making great decisions, and so stupid with my heart? Especially after what happened with Marco?
I knew better, but I did it anyway.
I fell for Cade.
But I know why.
We are meant to be together.
And all I can do is stand back and pray he will realize it, too.
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
“Mom,” I say, sitting cross-legged on my bed and studying her on the phone, “please pull yourself together. It’s not the end of the world.”
Mom is a mess tonight, crying her eyes out. Not over losing me to a hockey player in Colorado, but because Anthony’s girlfriend, Britta, is pregnant. Thank God, Anthony called me to give me the heads up this morning, so I wouldn’t be blindsided by Mom’s phone call. I texted my other brother, Christopher, to see how bad it was going to be, and he told me to get snacks, I’d be on the phone forever trying to talk her off the ledge. And he wished me better luck than he had had.
With that information at hand, I also made sure to light a lavender serenity candle before connecting the video chat.
“How can you say that?” Mom yells, her eyes flashing. “Did you hear me, JoJo? They aren’t getting married! How can they not get married? They are playing house. They were too stupid not to use protection, and now they won’t get married?”
“Mom,” I say firmly, “they aren’t getting married right now. That doesn’t mean never.”
“She can’t even cook,” Mom sobs. “My grandchild will starve!”
“You live two doors down. That baby will have more food than I do.”
“What? Are you not eating?”
“Mom, does it look like I’m not eating? Of course I am. But—”
“I think I’m going to faint.”
“Mom, please don’t faint. You are going to be a nonna. This is something to celebrate. Let’s be happy about Anthony becoming a father. Anthony is a good man, Mom. He’ll be a great father.”
“Be happy? Be happy that Anthony is not going to marry the mother of his child? Have you lost your mind, JoJo?”
I sigh. There is nothing more I can say because I refuse to be dramatic about this.
“I will not celebrate unless they get married. And they’d better stay married!”
Then she starts sobbing and puts the phone on the kitchen table face side down so my screen goes black.
“Mom. Mom!” I yell. “Mom, get back on the phone!”
I hear Nonna talking to Mom, and then Nonna picks up the phone.
“JoJo, how are you?” Nonna asks.
“What happened to Mom?”
“You don’t understand, so she’s going to call her mother.”
“Oh, God.”
My other Nonna-Catherine—is just as melodramatic as my mother. They’ll scream and cry and curse Anthony and weep for the baby’s future together.
“Eh, they aren’t happy unless they can be dramatic about it. The baby is coming, and we will all love the baby, so what is this nonsense?”
I can’t help but smile. “I love you, Nonna.”
“I love you, my precious JoJo,” Nonna says, her eyes twinkling at me. “But now we can talk about the real stuff. How is that nicccceeee boy of yours? If you’re still playing board games with him, I’ll be mad at you.”
“Nonna, can you keep a secret?” I ask.
“I’ve always kept your secrets, haven’t I?”
Yes. She has. We’ve always had the kind of relationship where we could talk about everything. And right now I want to share with her what is going on with Cade.
“We made love,” I admit, heat rising in my cheeks. “And it was amazing!”
“Yessss,” Nonna says, grinning happily at me. Then she cocks an eyebrow up. “So his cucumber is good?”
Oh, my God. I know my face is on fire. I swear even the roots of my hair feel hot. How do I even respond to that?
“Ahhhhhhhhhhh, his cucumber is good,” she cries gleefully. “I can tell by the look in your eyes this Cade has a nicccccccceee cucumber. And more importantly, he knows what to do with his produce.”
“Nonna, stop,” I plead, dying.
“This one is The One, JoJo. I know you thought it was Marco, but I never thought it was Marco. This relationship is different.”
I freeze. “How could you know that? We just started seeing each other. You haven’t even seen us together, you only know what I’ve told you about him.”
“I know.”
“But how?”
“Because of what you say about him.”
I think back. “Like what?”
“JoJo, do you realize what you talk about when his name comes up? How intelligent he is. How amazing his sense of humor is. How he’s passionate about history. You are attracted to his brain more than his body. Which I give you credit for because Cade is nice.”
“Nonna?”
“Yes?”
“What if he never feels the same way?”
“What?” Nonna says loudly. “What are you talking about?”
I bite my lip before baring my deepest fear to her. “He wants to move slowly. He was hurt before, Nonna. And I really like him. I’m just afraid after a few months he won’t feel what I’m feeling.”
“He will.”
“But how do you know?”
“The apron.”
“Nonna, that’s a legend. That’s not proof Cade is going to fall in love with me.”
“So you love him.”
I hear voices in the living room—male voices. My heart soars when I realize Cade and Jude have returned from Colorado Springs.
“Nonna, Cade is here,” I say excitedly.
“I see it in your eyes. You do love this boy.”
“I’ve fallen for him,” I admit.
“But you won’t say love?”
“I can’t say that yet,” I say softly.
“You’re afraid to say it, that’s why.”
There’s a rap on my door.
“Come in,” I call out.
The door opens, and there stands Cade. I melt when I see he’s holding a bouquet of gorgeous fall blooms in his hand, a huge arrangement of sunflowers, bright orange Gerber daisies, deep red roses, and touches of greenery.
“Oh, Cade!” I cry, touched by his gesture. “Those are beautiful! Thank you!” Then I turn back to the phone. “Nonna, I have to go. Cade just got back, but tell Mom I’ll call her tomorrow.”
“Hi, Nonna,” Cade says as he enters my room.
“Let me see Cade,” Nonna says.
This is always going to be a crapshoot, but I have no choice since they both like each other.
I turn the phone to Cade, and Nonna squeals in delight.
“Oh, you brought my JoJo flowers,” she exclaims.
“I did, Nonna,” he says, smiling.
“Those are beautiful,” Nonna says with approval.
“I wanted something unique. Not just roses. And it had to be vibrant. Like Josephine,” Cade says, lifting his eyes briefly from the phone screen to me.
A tingle radiates down my spine, and I can’t wait to jump into his arms as soon as I get Nonna off the phone.
“Oh, very nice,” Nonna says. “Now let me say goodbye to JoJo. I need to console Donna-Marie, but I need a glass of wine first. Or maybe two.”
Cade grins. “Okay, Nonna. Speak to you soon.”
“Ciao,” Nonna says.
I turn the phone back around, and Nonna is grinning wickedly at me. I ignore that look and smile at her.
“I’ll check on you tomorrow, Nonna. Good luck with Mom.”
“Thank you. Goodnight, my love. Ciao.”
After she hangs up, I toss the phone aside. Cade places the flowers down on my dresser and opens his arms to me. I stand up, run across the bed, and leap into Cade’s waiting arms. We laugh the second I land there, and Cade playfully spins me around the room. Then he lo
wers his mouth to mine in a sweet kiss before setting me down.
“I like coming home to you,” Cade says, cupping my face in his hands and dropping a kiss on my lips.
“I’m so glad you’re back,” I admit.
He grins at me, linking his hands through mine. “Did you miss me?”
“I did.”
“And not just for the sex?” he teases.
I giggle and pull him back toward the bed. We both flop down, and Cade immediately snuggles against me.
“Nope. I missed your sexy brain. And your ability to know any TV channel off the satellite without searching the guide. It was a pain in the ass trying to find channels this week,” I tease.
Cade affectionately kisses the top of my head. “So you use me as your human television directory?”
“It’s easier to ask you than to search with the remote,” I say.
“I feel so used.”
I rub my hand across his jawline, relishing the feel of his stubble against my palm.
“How is your mom after the baby news?” Cade asks.
I told Cade via text about the impending family drama earlier today, and he has proven that he truly cares about what is going on with my nutty family. I met his family once on Connectivity Video Connect because they called when we were watching TV one night, and they are so normal and nice. Low-key. No drama. I know my family’s antics provide Cade with endless entertainment.
“She couldn’t finish a conversation with me because I wasn’t justifying her drama,” I say.
“Ah, she’ll come around. It’s not the picture she painted for Anthony’s future and, as a mother, that has to be hard to accept.”
“You’re right,” I say. Then I cock an eyebrow at him. “How did you get so smart about relationships?”
The smile evaporates off his face, and I know I’ve hit a nerve.
“I’m good with family relationships, but I’m an idiot with personal ones.”
A chill goes through me. What happened to him to make him think like this?
“I don’t see that at all,” I say.
I long to tell him he’s already the best man I’ve ever dated, but I hold back. I can’t take a chance of my words scaring him.
“I’m trying to learn from my mistakes,” Cade says thoughtfully. “Which is why it’s so important to go slow. To not jump right in. I’m not going through what I went through last time. I can’t with y—”
He abruptly stops speaking. My heart hammers nervously inside my chest. Cade was going to say “you.” He can’t what with me?
“Anyway, we have other things to talk about,” Cade says, drawing my hand to his and placing it on his chest. “Like hockey season.”
My brain is reeling. Cade is changing the subject. Normally I’d never let a man do that, but Cade is different. I have to protect what we have. It’s new, so new. I can’t go all JoJo on him and demand he tell me what is going on in his head.
And a new fear hits me when I realize he wants to talk about the season. Will he use this as a reason to be more casual? Will he want to cool things down because his schedule will cause him to be gone a lot?
I force myself to speak.
“What about the season?”
“Hey, why do you look scared?” Cade asks quickly. “Josephine, what are you thinking?”
“Nothing,” I say, pushing down my feelings. I know moving slowly is important. So I can’t let him know how invested I am at this point, that I’ve fallen, and it terrifies me that he might want to take a step back. “What were you going to say?” I redirect the conversation.
“I need to explain what will happen with hockey starting up. I’m going to be gone a lot. I play at night. I get home late. I’ll be on the road. Sometimes up and back, sometimes gone for a week. Things will be different for us, and I want you to understand what you are getting into with me. I’ll be at the stadium when you get off work. When I get home, we’ll have a bit of time before you have to go to bed so you can get up for work the next morning. But I want you to know that what time I do have, I want to spend with you.”
While I’m relieved to hear he wants to continue spending time with me, I can’t help but wonder if my fears are justified. It seems like he is setting things up so if it isn’t love for him, he has a good excuse to distance himself.
No, I can’t think like that. I can’t project my own fears onto him. I need to stay the course, give him time, and hope his heart gets to the same place mine is at in the end.
I put a smile on my face, deciding while I can’t do anything about the future, I can appreciate the moment I’m in right now. With a man who wants to spend as much time with me as he can.
“I understand that hockey takes up a lot of time,” I say, “as it should. Whatever we have to do to spend time together, we’ll do. As long as I get to see you when I can, I’m happy.”
I see relief flash in his eyes.
“I’m happy, too,” he says, drawing my hand to his lips and kissing it.
Swoon.
He clears his throat. “We have a preseason game here next week. I’d love it if you’d go.”
Ahhhhhhhhhh! He’s asking me to go to one of his hockey games!
I know I’m beaming when I respond.
“I wouldn’t miss it.” Then I cock an eyebrow at him. “Are you going to spend a lot of time in the penalty box?”
Cade laughs. “Um, I can’t promise that I won’t. But I won’t play a lot, so odds are my time there should be limited.”
I grin. “Okay. Will you lift your jersey up to flash women your abs?”
“You saw that stupid Snapchat Jupe put up, didn’t you?”
He looks embarrassed, and I’m dying.
“They say on social media you do it because the female fans like it.”
“Ha! Wrong. I do it because I need something to wipe my sweat off.”
“Right. You’re just showing off those amazing abs.”
“I only show those off for one woman.”
Ohhhhhhhhh!
I reach for the bottom of his Denver Mountain Lions hoodie and snake my hand up underneath it, running my hand over the cut muscles. I feel desire flicker in me the second I do.
“You could show those off now,” I suggest.
“Are you trying to get another tattoo symbol out of me?” he teases.
I grin. I already know the first one is life, the second is dream, and the third is passion, as in a way to live your life and pursue your dreams. Passionately. Now I’m trying to get the fourth symbol out of him. But of course, I have to tease him first.
“No. I snapped a picture of them when you were sleeping, and I have already decoded them,” I lie playfully. “Like any good agent would.”
“This is why I like you, my sweet Josephine. You’re so smart,” he says, lowering his mouth to mine.
As we kiss, I’m pretty sure I’ll be learning the fourth tattoo very soon.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
“I have a serious case of opening night butterflies,” Sierra says excitedly as we walk into the Denver Mountain Lions arena concourse.
“Me, too,” I admit as goose bumps prickle my skin.
It’s October 13th.
Opening night for the Denver Mountain Lions.
Eager fans fill the arena, ready for the start of the new season. We walk through a sea of maroon and white jerseys, and I can’t even explain the thrill I get when I see someone wearing a “Callahan” jersey with Cade’s number on it.
My man’s jersey.
Pride surges through me. The past few weeks, I’ve truly lived in Cade’s world, from going to my first ever hockey game and meeting the players’ wives and girlfriends in the private room reserved for them, to sitting in the arena and watching Cade play. I’ve missed Cade when he’s traveled for exhibition games. I’ve woken up to greet him when he’s come home at 2AM.
And, despite all the craziness, our relationship has flourished.
I smile as I follow Sierra
down the steps, adjusting my maroon and plaid blanket scarf around me as I do.
Off the ice, I’m Cade’s top priority. Whenever he has free time, we spend it together, from me cooking us dinner to watching Cupcake Wars on TV and Cade telling me I’d totally win if I would be brave enough to go on the show. We also got out the calendar and marked off two days in October when he’s free for special dates. This Sunday is one of them, and I have a surprise planned just for him. The other day will be spent at a big Halloween party thrown by one of his teammates.
Sierra enters the row where the WAGS—wives and girlfriends—have reserved seats and sits down. I’m still getting to learn everyone’s names, and Sierra has given me a heads-up on which ones are nice and well . . . which ones are not. Sierra told me the WAGS are like a sorority—we are all bonded together, but while you will be close to some, others you won’t. I’m thankful my best friend is already in the group, which makes my adjustment a lot easier.
We missed warm-ups, thanks to being at work, but at least we are on time for puck drop at center ice.
The fact that I now know what that is makes me laugh out loud.
“What?” Sierra asks, taking a sip of her bottled water.
“I know what puck drop at center ice is,” I say, shaking my head. “Before I met Cade, I knew nothing about sports. And now I’m speaking hockey.”
“You’re a WAG now,” she says, grinning.
“Oh, no, Cade and I are dating, but he hasn’t asked me to be his girlfriend yet,” I say, correcting Sierra.
“You don’t think you’re his girlfriend?” she asks, her tone incredulous. “Are you kidding? He’s crazy about you. Trust me, he wouldn’t invite you to his game if he weren’t. You’re the first girl he’s invited to a game since I’ve known him.”
“As good as that makes me feel, and it does, Cade hasn’t used that word yet,” I admit.
“Does he have to? I think you know how he feels. Be confident in his actions. The words will come.”
I’m about to respond when the Houston Scorpion players skate onto the ice. The lights go down, and the crowd lets out a cheer. The video board over center ice comes alive with images of the Denver Mountain Lions set to pulsating rock music. My eyes are glued to the screen, which shows dynamic plays from last season.
