What in the hell was I doing? I watched Teddy as he flicked the button on his pants open and they fell to the ground. It felt like I was in a twilight zone or something. It should have been Nick standing in front of me like this. But he didn’t want me…
Teddy grabbed onto one of my legs, wrapping it around his waist, grinding his hardness against me, and leaned down to touch his forehead to mine. “I missed this so fucking much.” He thrust his hips into me once more, right at my entrance, and it made me wonder exactly what he had missed.
Was it me, or was it just the sex?
Sex between Teddy and I had never been a problem. In fact, that’s really how our relationship first started. One drunken night after he had played a show, in the grimy hallway behind the stage, up against the wall—just like this.
I didn’t really know that sex could be something more until I met Nick. He made me feel special, paid attention to my needs before and after, and our relationship wasn’t solely based on it.
“Teddy, wait.” I pulled my hips back as much as I could, and he paused, the tip of him just hovering at my entrance. “What’s my favorite color?”
“What, Al?” he huffed, dropping his head against my forehead.
“What’s my favorite color?” I repeated slowly, and he groaned again, clearly agitated by me needing to ask the question as he shifted my body against the wall.
“Pink. Now can we save the talking for after—”
“No.” I let my legs drop, and Teddy pulled back, letting my body slide down to the floor as he looked down at me, his eyebrows raised in confusion. “It’s black, because everything goes with black.”
Nick knew the answer within five minutes of meeting me.
“Sorry, Al, I just figured it’s pink since you’re into all that girly shit. Why in the hell does it even matter? Unless…you’d rather me take you against the floor?” A wicked grin spread across his face as he kneeled down, and attempted to hover over me, but I quickly pushed him away.
“It matters because you never cared enough to know. That’s why it matters. I bet if we played twenty questions about me right now, you wouldn’t have a clue about half of them. Don’t you see a problem with that?”
“Ally—”
“Stop!” I held up a hand to wave him off as he attempted to reach for me again. “I can’t let this happen, Teddy. I didn’t see any problems between us before, but now that we’re through, I can see our relationship in a different light, and it wasn’t working. It just sucks that I had to catch you cheating on me to figure that out.”
He gave me a guilty look before letting his head fall against the wall, looking up at the dark ceiling. “I swear that was the only time, Al. And it was the worst fucking mistake of my life. It made me lose you, and I’ll hate myself forever because of it.”
“Don’t hate yourself.” I grabbed his hand and gave it a small squeeze. “You’re a good guy, Teddy. Just not the best husband. No offense,” I added when he snorted loudly.
I pushed my dress down as I stood up, and bent over to slide my underwear back on. “I’m trying to move on, Teddy. I met someone, and things are good, I think.”
“You met someone?” I looked over to see a deep frown on his face. I hated that he looked so sad, but he would eventually be able to move on, and someday be happy.
I ducked my head as I tried to find my heels, and hoped to avoid the angry glare that flashed through his eyes.
“Tell me it’s not that asshole I met tonight. What was his name, Franny?”
I rolled my eyes, and lifted my hand to stifle a laugh. It was kind of entertaining that Teddy thought I was dating Danny, when in fact, I thought they had been pretty similar when we first met. It was kind of ironic that he thought he was an asshole.
“No, he wasn’t there tonight,” I lied, not wanting to tell Teddy the real truth. Luckily, he hadn’t arrived any earlier.
“Well, the guy must be a dumbass then if he let you out of his sight. Are you really sure you’re happy? We could work on things, Al, I know we could. Hell, I’d even quit the band if you wanted me to.”
I shook my head, and gave him a sad smile. He really was trying. “Teddy, I would never want you to do that. I’m sure Nick had a good reason not to be there tonight, and I’m actually kind of glad you didn’t meet like that. I think you need to move on, too. I’ll be able to forgive you one day for the cheating, but I won’t be able to forget, and I don’t think I could live with myself if I stayed with you. I would be miserable.”
“I wouldn’t want that for you, Ally,” he quietly replied. “I’ll call my lawyer's office and get the papers drawn up for—” He took a deep breath, and let it out, his shoulders slightly relaxing as he finally said the word. “For the divorce. Whatever you want, it’s yours. I’ve already put you through hell, so you deserve anything. Plus, you were basically our manager for the past couple of years, and you never asked for a dime.”
“Okay, Teddy,” I whispered.
I knew this was the last time that I would see Teddy for a while. The last time he showed up unannounced didn’t give us any closure, and I shouldn’t have been too surprised that he had shown up again.
I was glad that we talked things out, but I was disappointed in myself for letting it go so far between us. I was a little proud of myself for having at least enough sense to stop it from going all the way.
Now, I just needed to face Nick. I could have just ruined everything by that one simple mistake. What if there was a perfectly good explanation for him being with Kara tonight? Or what if they were there to talk about getting back together? My stomach twisted up at the thought, and I could feel a lump growing in my throat. Teddy was all of a sudden pushed to the back of my mind, and Nick was the only one I could picture.
I just hoped that he hadn’t decided he was better off stuck in the past, than moving toward a future with me.
I needed to see where we stood, and what in the hell had gone on with his ex. I knew I wasn’t much better after what happened, and that if our relationship were going to go anywhere I would have to be honest and tell him everything. And I wasn’t so sure that after he heard everything he would even want me.
Chapter 16
Nick
Kara: don’t be an ass. Sign the papers
A choked laugh rumbled in my chest, and filled the empty room as I read Kara’s message over for the fifth time. Wow, she really had some balls. How did I not see how big of a bitch she was over the years? I was really wondering if she had a heart. If she did it was probably black, just like everything else about her.
I knew laughing wasn’t really appropriate for the whole situation, but I had no fucking clue what I was doing here. Why did I agree to meet her again? No, if I had put it off any longer, who knows what the hell she would have done? She probably would’ve just given up, and moved on.
And then, Ally had been at the one restaurant I never expected them to be at. I figured she would’ve taken her friends to Clammy’s since it was our usual hangout. My friends were there with her, too, so I’m sure I looked like a complete ass showing up with my ex. I couldn’t even look at Ally, my stomach hurt so badly with the guilt of how things appeared.
Kara was in rare form as well, so when I saw Ally weaving towards our table, I cringed, not wanting her to have to deal with Kara. Ally was too good of a person to deal with that shit. I could tell she was drunk just by glancing at her, and she was looking sexy as hell in a tiny black dress that flared at her hips and barely covered that ass of hers.
I wanted to do very bad things to her. Or just get the hell out of there and go somewhere quiet, just as long as I with her, but Kara stunned me into silence and we had to finish what we started. There was no way in hell I was leaving there without getting the full story from her.
I knew Ally’s friends and her brother probably thought I was a jackass for not coming back over with her, but I couldn’t risk Kara taking off on me, or getting pissed that I left her too long. Her mood swings were at an al
l-time high that night.
Things with Ally and I were a little awkward the next day, to say the least. I invited her over to my place for dinner, and she agreed right away. I was honestly a little worried that she would never talk to me again after the way I treated her. I had been a complete asshole.
I remember every word of the conversation we had when she first showed up. “So, are you and...Kara getting back together?” She swallowed thickly, trying to avoid my eyes, but I could see hers were filled with unshed tears. I would be beating myself up forever about putting those tears in her eyes. I didn’t want to ever see her like that again.
I’m sure she was probably thinking the worst. I mean her own husband just cheated on her, and here I was, never mentioning a word about meeting up with Kara. It probably looked pretty damn suspicious.
“No, Ally.” I had grabbed her hand, lacing it with mine, and holding it tight to my chest. “I can’t apologize enough for last night, it was a dick move, and I should’ve just told you what was up.” She bit down on her lip that had been trembling slightly, and I ran my thumb across the smooth skin of her cheek. “I’m sorry. The only person I want is you.”
“That’s all I needed to hear, Nick.”
She didn’t ask why I had met with Kara, luckily, and I didn’t give her any explanation. I’m sure she wanted to, but I was glad she didn’t, even though I know I owed it to her. I wasn’t ready to. That seemed to help things out between us, but then she hit me with the bombshell that her ex had shown up the same night.
What a clusterfuck.
It must have been after I left because if I would’ve seen him, I wouldn’t have gone anywhere. She shared some details of their night that I really didn’t care to hear.
Ever. Again.
I could tell Ally felt guilty because once she started telling me exactly what happened, she couldn’t stop. I was glad she was being honest with me, but not that honest. Did I really need to know that she was basically naked, about to have sex with the guy, and then put things to a stop? She didn’t say it, but I felt partially responsible. If it hadn’t been for the way I treated her, would it have gone that far? But it still pissed me off, even if I was going to take some of the blame. My jaw tightened as she kept talking, and I could feel my teeth clenching together.
The important thing was that she stopped, but that didn’t mean I could process it that easily.
“I couldn’t do it, because of you, if I had, it would have ruined everything,” she explained.
She had been right, too. It would have ruined everything because no matter how much I loved Ally, I wouldn’t have been able to trust her, and you can’t have love without trust in my book.
“Just give me a minute, Ally.” I pressed my fingertips into my eyes, trying to stop the images of her with some other guy from popping into my head. It was pretty damn hard. I shook my head before opening my eyes, and seeing Ally standing there looking defeated. I wanted to reach out to tell her everything was okay, but right then, I couldn’t.
“Nick—”
“Stop,” I snapped, instantly regretting how it came out, but thinking I had a right to be upset. “That’s a lot of shit to process, and I don’t really know if I can handle it.” Her mouth dropped open at my harsh tone, but she didn’t say anything, just sniffed loudly, and gave a slight nod of her head.
I needed to take a walk after that. I knew she was hurting and confused, but I needed a minute. I felt like I wanted to pound a hole into the wall, throw something, or better yet, beat that fucker’s ass for touching my girl like that. I know that sounded dumb. They were technically married and all, but still—Ally was mine and I was hers.
I came back into the room to find her in tears so I quickly dropped to my knees, wrapping her in my arms, and telling her that everything was okay. That I wasn’t giving up on us, when us had just started.
“You still want me?” she whispered, her voice muffled as she spoke against my chest. I pushed on her shoulders, so I could see her face, and moved her hair back.
“Ally, of course I still want you. We both made mistakes by not talking things out. Let’s not just jump to conclusions right away ever again, alright?”
I should have told her right then what was going on with Kara. I should’ve, but I didn’t. I didn’t want anything else to get in the way of what we had.
“Nicholas, where are you, honey?”
“In here, Mom,” I yelled from my bedroom, gaze locked on the stark white ceiling. I was hoping it would give me some answers, or something. Anything. All I could really think about was Ally. She was probably the one reason I hadn’t gone insane, yet.
“Why are you sitting in the dark?” The lights flipped on, causing me to squint my eyes, and I groaned when she threw a pillow at me. “And why are you lying in bed in the middle of the day? I know something’s wrong, Nicholas. A mother just knows these things.”
I rolled my eyes as I sat up, and hers turned into narrow slants as she studied me. “I know it can’t be anything with Ally because, well, you two are perfect. I still can’t get over the fact that the whole family instantly fell in love with her when they met her at the wedding. It would be pretty hard not to.”
I silently nodded my head in agreement and smiled at the memory of taking her to my cousin Maria’s wedding a little over a month ago. We danced together almost the whole night, even though all of my cousins and uncles tried to cut in non-stop, wanting to dance with the ‘angel’, as they called her, which I had brought as my date.
I made it clear that Ally was more than just a date, and they could all kiss my ass if they thought they were prying her out of my hands. She buried her head in my chest to muffle her laughter as I glared at my family. It had been cute when my aunts got ahold of her, and she turned beet red when they insisted our wedding would be the next one in the family.
I knew what Ally was thinking. She had just gotten out of a marriage, and it definitely wasn’t something we had talked about. I had no clue if she even wanted to get married ever again. But I had a feeling if she did, I would make sure that it was to me.
“Nicholas.” Mom snapped her fingers in front of my face twice, pulling my attention back to her.
“Yeah, Mom. No, it’s nothing to do with Ally. I just have some sh—some stuff to figure out right now. Nothing that I can’t handle. ” I corrected my language quickly, while lying straight to my mother’s face. I hated doing that.
She patted my cheek, and smoothed a non-existent wrinkle on my bedspread. “Alright, son. Well, if you need to talk, you know I’m here. I’m sure your job has you a bit stressed out anyway. How did you manage getting today off?”
“I have a new assistant manager that I’ve been training for a while to take over my old position. I figured he was finally ready for a day on his own.” I sneaked a glance at my phone to make sure I hadn’t gotten any phone calls from Aaron. Nope. That was a good sign.
Aaron had worked at the resort for the past couple of years. He started to show interest in a management position when Leo was getting ready to leave, so I had taken him under my wing to show him the ropes. It was nice to have someone there that I could depend on, and not have to constantly worry that the place was gonna burn down while I wasn’t there.
The only thing that I didn’t like about him was that he seemed to have a thing for Ally. I made it pretty clear to him that it was never happening after I caught him staring at her ass one day when she wore one of those tight skirts. It was hard not to look at it. I had been doing the exact same thing when I caught him, but she was my girl, only I had the rights to it.
“Oh, that’s good, honey. You work too much, so it’s nice to have some extra time and what better way to spend it than with Ally. She called me a little while ago and said that she’s picking up some paint rollers on her way over. I put some sandwiches in the fridge for the two of you, and the paint’s on the table. I like all of the colors you picked out, but don’t you think the yellow for the extra bedroom l
ooks a little bit like a nursery color. Oh my God!” She covered her mouth with both hands, her eyes getting wide. “Is Ally pregnant? Please tell me she is, Nicholas. How could you have not told me?”
“Mom.” I grabbed onto her hand that was literally shaking with excitement. “Calm down. Ally’s not pregnant.” I swallowed over the lump in my throat. “It’s just a paint color. Ally said I should do something neutral, so I picked that.”
“Oh.” Her face dropped but she quickly replaced it with a bright smile. “Well, I’m going to get out of your hair. You two have a fun afternoon together,” she sang, wiggling her eyebrows at me, and I groaned as I pushed her towards the door.
“Bye, Mom.”
Ally showed up just as I was setting sandwiches out onto the counter, along with paper plates and two bottles of water. I wasn’t sure exactly how much painting we would end up getting done. I tended to get a little distracted whenever she was around.
The place was looking good, though. There were new hardwood floors throughout that made it much more convenient when coming in from outside with sandy feet, and I had refinished the cabinets and installed new countertops in the bathroom and kitchen. Painting was last on the agenda, even though I should’ve probably done it first. Ally was really the one pushing me to do it. She said she couldn’t stand looking at the ugly paint that had been covered up by the aged wood paneling we’d removed.
“Hey, handsome.” She placed a kiss on my cheek before grabbing a sandwich and dropping two bags on the table. She slid backwards onto the counter, and I wedged myself between her legs, my hands landing on her bare thighs. I loved how at home she was, and how everything just seemed better all-around when she was here.
“You ready to get this over with?”
She threw her head back and let out a loud laugh. I loved hearing that sound, especially when we were alone because it seemed to turn me on and then I could do very dirty things to her. “I promise it’s really not that bad. We’ll make it fun, and it’ll be over before you know it.”
One Simple Step (Journey Series) Page 12
