Maggie pulls over because we’re all crying and undoes her seat belt. She gets out of the car and walks around to my side. I’m sobbing as though it just happened. She opens my door and pulls my arm. I stand, and she wraps me in a hug. I hear Cynthia’s door open, too, and I feel her arms around me. We stand, three very different women, on the side of the road, hugging each other tightly as cars pass by and tears fall from our eyes.
____
June 2006
Endlessness lies ahead of me. As far as the eye can see, nothing but deep blue. The ocean is a wonder. It holds secrets with no way to tell them. It’s where one can find peace or where one can get lost if they choose to or not. It holds life and death; tears and laughter. It captures moments from long ago, grasping onto time like only it can.
Here I stand at the edge of it all as the warm water washes over my bare feet, wave after expected wave. Shutting my eyes, I let sweet memories take over my vision, and my breathing becomes uneven, because it’s not fair.
“It’s not fair!” I scream out. I clench my fist and dig my nails into the palm of my hands as blood pumps wildly through my life source. My knees, after standing so strong, buckle and I fall to the ground. I beat the sand with my fist repeatedly.
“It’s not fair,” I whimper as I look at the sand through blurry tears. Scrubbing my hands down my face, I’m torn between praying my frail heart can survive all this unbearable pain and praying that it won’t. I wipe the tears from my jaw as I blink my eyes open and look ahead.
Still… there’s the ocean, unaffected, yet my whole world has changed. I push up from the ground and dust the sand off of myself. Today was a bad day. I’ve had a lot of those lately, but I take them as they come.
Leaving the private beach and making my way back to the house we’ve got for the week, I walk in and head to my bedroom. I take a seat on the bed and look at the box of keepsakes he kept beside our bed at home.
I brought everything with me up here. I needed to get away and think about things, so I thought why not North Carolina? The kids refused to let me be alone, though, so they rented the house with me, but they’ve given me my space. They got back together, just like Travis said they would. I lift the box and notice the number to that psychic my friend Sara knows, and I think about the funeral…
Sara comes up to me and hugs me tight. “I’m so sorry, Charlotte.” I’m a mess, of course, as I stay near his casket.
“I wanted to tell you something,” she says softly. “Remember my psychic friend?”
I think for a moment because my mind just hasn’t been right these past few days, but then I remember. “Yes,” I say, rubbing the tissue under my eye.
She nods. “Well, I didn’t tell you everything because you were just so happy.”
“What?” I ask. “What was everything?”
“After she said that about Travis’ throat, she said that you would be happier than you’d ever been. But to enjoy every day because he wouldn’t be around long.”
I close the lid to the box and grab his shirt. I put it on my pillow and let the tears fall until exhaustion finally takes over.
____
July 2006
“Okay, Linda. I’ll talk to you later.” I hang up the phone and walk into our bedroom. I love talking to Travis’ sisters because they remind me of him and they understand. I’m alone in the house, and I sit on his side of the bed and look down at the dresser. “I miss you so much,” I say. “I just don’t know how to move on.” My eyes go to his box, and I lift the top, seeing that number again. With the phone still in my hand, I figure what can it hurt? Sara gave me the psychic’s number the day she told me everything and said the woman told her I could call anytime.
I flip my phone open and punch in the number. It rings, and I hold onto my heart necklace that contains some of his ashes.
“Hello,” a woman says.
“Hey. My name is Charlotte. I’m Sara’s friend, the one who gave you the photo to look at.”
“Yes, I know who you are,” she says it as though she was expecting my call.
“I don’t mean to bother you, but Sara said I could call.”
“Of course. I was sorry to hear about his passing.”
“Me, too,” I say. “So, what can you tell me?”
“He is sitting on the bed right beside you.” I instantly get chills, and my eyes shoot to the spot beside me. Tears form in my eyes, and I reach my hand over, placing it on the comforter.
“He loved you so much, Charlotte. He wasn’t supposed to live as long as he did, really only a month or so after the new year, but he held on because he was worried about letting you down again.”
Tears fall down my face, and I shake my head. God, the pain he must have been going through. How scared he must have been. He never showed it, though. He was always worried about me.
“He keeps telling me that you drive too fast. He’s worried and says you need to slow down.” I can’t help but laugh through my tears. “He said he loves you and that he is fine.”
I look over again and rub the comforter. Maybe I can be fine now, too. Maybe…
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Cynthia prepared the story and turned it in three weeks after we came home from our road trip. She offered to let me read it, but I knew she would do our story justice, so I chose to wait until it was published. Maybe I was getting a little ahead of myself, but I had all the faith in her.
Maggie has talked me into taking walks with her every day, and I’ve promised to cut back on my sweet tea drinking if she promises to cut back on her many alcoholic beverages before five. It’s working out okay, but we’ll see how long it lasts.
I talk with my son on the phone every evening, and the week before The Sea Harbor Journal announces their winner, which just so happens to be Cynthia Rose, he tells me Elizabeth is pregnant. To say I’m excited would be a damn understatement. I’m ecstatic.
Happily, that’s not the only good news I have to share. Litton Daniels got his act together and showed up in Sea Harbor two weeks after we got home. He and Cynthia have been inseparable, and there’s talk about him moving his fishing business here. He’s a good kid, and in a way he reminds me of my Travis.
I’m looking online at baby clothes when I hear a knock on the door. Putting my computer to the side and taking my glasses off, I stand and see Cynthia.
“Hey,” I say, opening it for her to come in. I look behind her and see Lit in the car. I give a wave, and he waves back.
“I don’t need to come in,” she says. “I just wanted to drop this off for you.” I look at the newspaper she’s holding out for me. I take it and slide my glasses back on to look at the cover. A Polaroid photo of Travis and me sits in the top left corner, and I look back at her.
She wrings her hands and looks down before she says, “Charlotte, what you two went through.” She sighs and shakes her head. Her eyes focus back up. “No one should have to go through that. I cried a lot toward the end of writing this because your story touched me so deeply, just as it’s going to do many readers. Basically, you’re my hero.”
I chuckle. “I’m not a hero, Cynthia.” I gaze down at the paper again, scanning over her words before I look back up at her. “I’m just a woman who loved a man with everything I had, even after he took his last breath.”
____
As the day slowly comes to an end, I sit on the beach in my Adirondack chair with the paper on my lap. The sun starts to sink, and for a moment I take it all in, just enjoying the view and the calmness of the ocean. I inhale before I slide my eyeglasses on and look down at the paper. Running my hand over his face, I smile a little. “I miss you,” I whisper. My eyes move to Cynthia’s words, and I begin reading.
“Charlotte Harris had always been a woman of many titles. Some being a daughter, a wife, and then a mother. But in the summer of 1972, a seventeen-year-old brunette beauty with freckles spread across her shoulders embraced a new title. Charlotte became a keeper of someone’s heart, and that
heart belonged to Travis Cole…
Chapter Twenty-Nine
A little over a year after our trip to Ft. Pierce, Cynthia, Maggie, and I took a road trip to New York. It was long, but it was pretty cool to see through the windows of the GTO. That’s right. She’s been sitting in my garage for twelve years. I paid someone to fix her up after we got back. She looks just as good as she did way back when Travis and I took her down old country roads and got lost in each other.
Maggie bravely took the steps of the little brownstone her daughter lived in, and when she knocked on the door, a little blonde-haired beauty answered it with her mama standing right behind her. They hugged, and it was as if time had never passed between them. You see, Maggie had already called and apologized, so that trip was strictly a reunion.
I sit in my chair as the summer sun sinks in the evening sky. My grandson lies on the blanket beside me. Cole has blue eyes like his mama and dark hair like his daddy. He’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen, and my heart finally feels full again after so many years of feeling half-empty.
I’ll always, always long for Travis Cole. That will never stop, but I have a lot of love around me to keep me going every day.
Cynthia sits in the chair beside me with her shades on top of her rainbow-colored hair.
“You know, you were wrong when you said I didn’t get my happy ending,” I say to her. She looks over at me with a raised brow. “I didn’t get the ending I was hoping for, but I’d say this one is pretty good.”
She smiles and grabs my hand, squeezing it with hers. “Can I ask you something?”
“Of course.”
“Did you ever find out what William said to Travis? You know, when he wanted to talk to him alone?”
I look toward the beach at my son and daughter-in-law. They have a drink in their hands and stand knee-deep in the water, side by side. My mind goes back to the day William asked to speak to Travis, and I hear his broken voice speaking to him again…
I stand close enough to hear, but not to intrude.
“Travis, I just wanted to say thank you. Thank you for coming back and making my mom happy,” William says. He’s quiet for a moment before he continues. “You’ve been more like a dad to me in the short time you’ve been with us than my dad ever was.” His voice cracks, and I look down, tears falling from my face. “Thank you for all that you’ve done for me. I love you. I wish I would have told you sooner.”
Cynthia sighs. “I wish I could have known him.”
“Me, too,” I say, looking ahead as the sky turns a crisp cool blue.
“What happened to John?” she asks a moment later. I look down, remembering I never told them about John. Just so much devastation with Travis, and then we got home and got back into our daily routines.
“After I left him, we still spoke every now and again because of our son, and he had seemed to move on with his life. He was even dating someone new, but John was still troubled.” I pause and gaze ahead as the waves crash against the shore. “John had a lot of demons,” I say sadly. “And the day came when he no longer had to fight them. He passed a year after Travis.”
“Oh my God.”
“Yeah, both of the men I loved dearly left this world way before me. I was heartbroken, of course, but more than anything, I was worried about William.”
“You’ve been through so much,” she says. I sigh and look down at Cole.
“They say what we go through makes us stronger, but sometimes I don’t know.”
Cynthia kinda laughs. “I know what you mean.” We sit in silence for a while, just enjoying the ones around us and taking in the view of the setting sun. A man runs down the beach, and Cynthia says, “Let’s get this guy to take a photo of us.” She quickly grabs her Polaroid camera and stands.
“Everyone get together,” I say. “We’re going to take a photo.” William and Elizabeth come up from the water, and I grab little Cole. Maggie holds her grandbaby while her daughter adjusts the little yellow hat she has on her head. Lit waits for Cynthia, and Marty wipes the sand from her legs.
“Everyone ready?” Cynthia asks as she runs back over to us. William looks down at me. “I haven’t seen you like this in a
long time, Mom.” I pull him in for a hug and kiss Cole’s head. We all stand side by side, and as the man takes the photo, I smile, thinking, being happy is a choice, no matter our circumstances. Travis Cole chose to be happy, even though he was going through one of the scariest things of his life. He chose to be happy for me. Cynthia looks over at me after the photo is taken.
“So, tell me,” she says as we walk back to our chairs. “If you knew then how it all would end, would you have gotten back with him still?”
I look down, pondering her question. I think about my life. Every special moment I have saved, every tear that I’ve cried, and every laugh that I’ve had—they’ve all led me to here. Yes, I’m without Travis, and that still stings, but look at all I do have. A small smile plays on my lips, and I look back at her and say, “If I’d known then what I do now, I’d do it a million times over. Just to be with him.”
The End
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A Note from the Author:
When I thought about writing this book, I was cleaning windows at work. The line, “It was the summer of 1972,” popped into my head and I immediately sent my mother-in-law a text and asked her if I could write about her and Lloyd AKA Travis. She gave me the honor of doing so.
For years, I’d been saying her story was something that needed to be told. I mean, it’s almost unbelievable, right? Two young people fall in love, everyone tries to keep them apart, time and miles finally do, and then they get back together thirty years later! Only for him to find out he has cancer and then pass away a little over a year later. But that’s the thing. It happened, and I was a witness to the end.
I had the honor of knowing Lloyd Lacy, or as you know him, Travis Cole, and let me tell you. He was a man to know. Free-spirited and kindhearted. The love they had for each other was undeniable and something to see.
We didn’t have much in that singlewide trailer, but we had love. We had each other, and we still do. Even though Lloyd is no longer with us, he is mentioned all the time, and he lives on in my mother-in-law’s heart.
Sometimes it’s the little memories that mean the most. My mother-in-law holding that video camera, Lloyd singing and laughing, my husband and him playing the guitar together. I can always look back on those memories with a smile on my face.
Lloyd, you left us too soon. You are missed daily, and I hope wherever you are, we will see you again.
Acknowledgements:
Mama C., thank you for letting me write this story. I will always cherish the many nights we sat and talked about the past. We cried, we laughed, and we made memories.
Lloyd, thank you for coming into our lives and making them brighter. I hope I made you proud, and I hope you still get to listen to your music.
Thank you to my girls, Crystal, Monica, Julie, and Kelley, for always being eager to read whatever I’m working on.
Thank you to my best friend, Collins, for always being so supportive and someone to talk to when the world is driving me crazy.
Thank you to my beta readers:
Julie Healey-Vaden, I thank God for Sarasota and meeting you. My life is better because of it. Thank you for your words of wisdom and your honesty. You tell it like it is, and I really love/ hate that about you. ;) I think you may be my Fairy Godmother.
Lily Garcia, thank you for always being so kind, and thank you fo
r your words of honesty on this story. I’m so glad you took a chance on my writing!
Julie Gustafson-Monk, thank you for falling in love with my words and staying with me after Chasing Fireflies. I know that book means a lot to you, and that makes my heart smile.
Thank you to my husband, Billy, who encourages me to work harder, who takes my dreams just as serious as his own. I love you, and I thank God every day for making our paths cross thirteen years ago.
Thank you to my editor, Paige. You have been a Godsend. Thank you for always being honest and making me be my best.
Thank you to my family. You may never read my books, but I know you’re proud.
And, of course, to my readers. Without you, I’d just be a girl who writes. With you, I’m an author. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
Until next time—Paige P. Horne
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