Aftermath

by Joanne Clancy

  “Your pelvis is broken in several places,” the doctor explained. “However, it's a stable fracture and we think it best not to operate.”

  Her spirits lifted. “Are you sure?” She wanted to be certain of his diagnosis.

  “I'm absolutely positive,” he smiled down at her. “Now get some rest.”

  She closed her eyes and let his words sink into her mind. She was happy and relieved at her result. The path to recovery would be long and difficult but at least she didn't need an operation. It was a brief moment of victory in a day of so many untold losses.

  Kerry slept fitfully that night. The pain kept her awake for hours and whenever she closed her eyes to try and sleep, the images from that horrible wave of black water came back to haunt her, frightening her awake. She begged the nurses for more morphine but there wasn't enough and very little they could do to alleviate her pain until emergency supplies arrived.

  Ada and Peter came to visit her over the following days. They were very kind and caring young people and a complete joy to be around. Kerry couldn't believe how they continued to stay in Japan instead of flying home. They talked to her, which made her feel a little better, especially since their English was fluent. She told them about Conor and Saoirse and asked them to see if they could discover where they were. She also asked them if they would try to phone her family who she knew must be worried sick about her at this stage. She gave them Maura's telephone number as she desperately wanted to speak to someone she loved.

  Kerry had no way of knowing that at that very moment, a network was forming. Maura was already organising everyone; from Ireland to Australia to America and London, all of Kerry and Conor's family and friends were going without sleep in their frantic efforts to find them. Maura was desperately tracing the Darcys’ exact whereabouts through their credit charges. They'd only just moved to their hotel the day before the tsunami struck and Kerry hadn't had a chance to telephone her sister to let her know where they were staying.

  Nuala Mac Millan, Kerry’s editor and close friend, took emergency leave from work, packed a suitcase and brought her family to Cork where she was on the phone for twenty-four hours straight, talking to every one of her contacts who might have news of their whereabouts. Kerry's old friend, Sophie, got the first plane from Sydney to Cork and was systematically working her way through Conor's contacts in her efforts to track them down. Conor's brothers were searching for them in hospitals. Everyone was involved.

  A few days later, a helicopter arrived to transport the seriously injured to another, better equipped hospital. Kerry dreaded the thought of being transported because she knew it would be excruciating agony. Her knees remained drawn up to her chest and tied together with a sheet and she was still lying on her beautiful, filthy blanket. The nurses brought the gurney to her room and placed her and her precious blanket on it. She could not keep from crying out at every move as she was put in the ambulance and driven to the airport. When they tried to place her on a stretcher to get her onto the helicopter, she completely lost it.

  “No! I can't do this! I won't do it! I need support, please, I'm begging you!” and she broke down into uncontrollable tears.

  Everyone stared at her, seeing her obvious anguish, but not quite knowing what to do to help her. One of the nurses was smart enough to put a wide belt around her pelvis, and then they got her and her blanket on the helicopter. She screamed her head off as she was being lifted on board, but at last she was safely deposited inside. There were six patients including Kerry on the flight. A doctor and two nurses cared for them. The flight was only supposed to take an hour but it was more like two hours and achingly turbulent and bumpy.

  Finally, the flight ended and they landed at the hospital. Once again Kerry had to endure the agony of being lifted on and off the gurney but she was relieved to see that it was a much superior hospital to the previous one. The nurses immediately took her to X-ray where she was photographed from different angles. The doctors at the hospital gave her the same result and concluded that she had four stable fractures and didn't need an operation which was such a relief to her. She knew that her recovery would be much longer if she had to have an operation and she wanted to stay alert to any news of Conor or Saoirse.

  She was transferred to an emergency room which was spacious and airy with curtains around her bed for added privacy. The nurses were incredibly kind and gentle. They took soapy sponges and without lifting her so much as a centimetre, they gently cleansed her face and chest, her swollen, football of a stomach and her battered arms. They were especially tender when they washed her poor, broken legs. Every day that she was there, they washed her carefully and always with such kindness. She felt clean, even though she was still lying on her grubby blanket.

  By this stage, she was off the catheter and had to wear nappies. It was quite embarrassing, but somehow the Japanese nurses made her feel okay and not too ashamed. Kerry hated being so helpless. She was usually the person who cared for everyone; always cleaning up and tidying things away, running around after her husband and daughters. Nobody had cared for like this since she'd been a little girl.

  Through all her pain and agony, she kept asking if there was any news of her husband and daughter but nobody had anything conclusive to tell her. Still, she refused to give up hope and remained optimistic, praying for them and sending them her loving thoughts and energy.

  A week had passed since the tsunami when a nurse came into Kerry's room and gave her an Irish passport. She examined the photo and was overjoyed when she saw her sister's face. The nurse wanted to be sure that Maura was a genuine family member as Kerry’s story had been attracting some unwanted attention from journalists who were desperate to be the first to talk to her and get her exclusive story.

  Ada and Peter had managed to track Maura down and had told her what had happened and where Kerry was located. She asked the nurse to bring her twin to her and they both cried uncontrollably when they saw each other. Maura's was the first familiar face she'd seen since the tsunami. Kerry was so happy to have her sister with her at last; someone she loved. They talked and talked. Maura told her that as soon as she'd found out where she was that she'd jumped in a taxi to the airport and waited for the next plane to Japan. She'd hardly had enough time to pack a toothbrush!

  Kerry couldn't help laughing when Maura told her how she'd almost had a fight with a flight attendant about using her mobile phone on the plane. The flight attendant had even threatened to have her removed from the aircraft if she didn't calm down, but when Maura explained everything to her she quickly relented and asked if she could do anything to help! She gave Maura her contact details and told her that she'd organise free flights for everyone back and forth to Japan.

  Kerry told her everything that had happened. She was so relieved to have her sister near her at last. Her twin was like her bodyguard from that moment and she spent hours on two telephones at once, trying to coordinate everything.

  The phones rang incessantly. Everyone wanted to talk to Kerry and she wanted to talk, too, but it was very difficult to have a coherent conversation because she was very weak and medicated on strong painkillers.

  The telephones seemed to ring nonstop because of the time difference between the countries; the middle of the night in Japan was late evening in Ireland. Somehow the press had gotten hold of Kerry's predicament and she was being bombarded by journalists who wanted her story exclusively. How they'd found out which hospital she was in was an absolute mystery to her. Some reporters called at four and five o' clock in the morning, and basically demanded to know her personal details!

  The telephone call that Kerry had waited so long to hear finally happened. It was Saoirse! Maura had managed to find her at last. Kerry clung to the telephone at the sound of her baby girl's voice. She was overjoyed to hear her voice at long last. They talked a mile to the minute and were laughing and crying at the same. Saoirse was safe. “Thank you God, thank you God,” Kerry whispered over and over again. She was fine, except
for a sprained wrist and a few scratches and bruises. Apparently, the wave had flung her onto a roof top where she'd stayed until she was rescued. Her rescuers brought her back to another hotel, just a few kilometres down the road from Kerry, where she'd been staying ever since.

  “Are you sure you're okay, darling?” Kerry asked for the umpteenth time, at the end of their long conversation.

  “I'm fine, mom, honestly. Don't worry about me.” She tried to reassure her mother. “Where's Dad?”

  “I don't know, darling,” Kerry replied in a small voice. “I don't know where your dad is.” The minute she said it, she began to cry softly. She couldn't help it. A sudden, all-encompassing fear and dread gripped her heart. All the days of struggling to be brave and strong were finally taking their toll on her. Where was he? Why hadn't she heard anything from him?

  “It will be okay, mom. I know it will. We'll find him.”

  “I know, darling. I know.”

  “I'll see you tomorrow, mom. Emer's here with me. We'll be at the hospital tomorrow.”

  “Okay, sweetheart, I'll see you tomorrow. I love you.”

  “I love you too, mom.”

  Kerry leaned back against the pillows, a strange mix of relief and dread flooding her. She was beyond happy that her beloved baby girl was safe and sound but her fears for Conor filled her with unease. Worry and concern for Conor's parents and brothers also played on her mind. She knew they would be going through hell. How she wished she could see them and tell them not to worry, that somehow, everything would be fine; but she didn't know herself where Conor was. The pain from her injuries was a peculiar blessing; it prevented her from becoming too consumed with her thoughts and made her focus on getting better.

  Maura arrived shortly after Saoirse's telephone call. She was staying in a hotel near the hospital and came every day to be with her.

  “Is there any news on Conor?” Kerry asked her sister. Her voice was full of hope but she knew the answer by her sister's expression.

  “We don't have any news yet,” Maura answered gently. “Everyone's searching for him and I'm sure we'll find him very soon.” She squeezed her twin's hand.

  Kerry smiled weakly and glanced out the window, blinking back the tears that filled her eyes. How could this holiday of a lifetime have turned into such a nightmare?

  “What if he has amnesia and can't remember who he is anymore?” Kerry asked.

  “We'll find him, I promise you,” Maura replied, her voice full of determination and conviction.

  Saoirse and Emer arrived at the hospital the following day. Kerry would never forget their faces when they walked into her room, such incredibly moving expressions of joy and sadness. They ran to their mother and covered her in hugs and kisses. They were all laughing and crying at the same time and talking at a million miles an hour. It was one of the best moments of Kerry's life; to have both her daughters back in her arms again.

  Saoirse and Emer stayed with their mother for the rest of her time in the hospital. They were allowed to sleep in her room on hard little benches which weren't big enough to hold most adults, let alone a five feet nine inch adult as Emer. Kerry couldn't believe sometimes that the tall young lady in front of her was once a tiny baby in her arms. Saoirse and Emer took good care of their mother and the three of them bonded like never before. They played cards and talked for hours and spent quality time together, which included the evenings when they were sleeping on those little benches.

  There was very little English spoken in that part of Japan and it was a challenge for her girls to even buy food in the local shops. They told Kerry about all the children in the hospital and Kerry wished she was well enough to visit them. She asked them to buy presents for the youngsters which of course were received with much delight.

  One day, while Saoirse and Emer were out, a strong wind rose suddenly. It made loud, eerie noises just like the sound of the wind after the tsunami struck. Kerry was petrified that something had happened to her daughters and that they wouldn't return. She was sobbing hysterically when they finally came back safe and sound.

  The nights were very difficult for Kerry. She would often wake up screaming and her daughters would try their best to comfort her and hold her until her nightmares subsided. She hated them seeing her in such a state and tried to insist that they go and stay with Maura in the hotel, but they resolutely refused. They weren't going to leave her alone and that was final!

  Kerry couldn't stop thinking about Conor. Over and over again she asked herself; where is he? Maura told her, many months later, that she'd been very concerned because she didn't talk about Conor. Kerry knew she didn't bring him up much because she wanted to believe one hundred per cent that he was safe. She thought if she didn't say anything aloud, somehow he would be okay. Maura knew that not talking about Conor wasn't good for her sister. She brought up his name more and more and began to ask her about him and tell her the story of how they fell in love, which of course she'd already heard a hundred times, but wanted to hear again. So Kerry slowly began to talk about Conor. She talked and talked and it was such a relief.

  Kerry was on intravenous drips and having many different blood tests. She was quite woozy from the morphine at times, but she had to have it, otherwise the pain was just too much for her to endure. Her legs were still tied up and her stomach was becoming even more distended. She had a CAT scan and after that they put tubes through her nose and into her stomach and then attached them to a machine by her bed. It was very uncomfortable. She couldn't breathe, or swallow and it reduced her to tears. It was one of the few times she cried because she felt sorry for herself. She was on the machine for two days and it was awful! The machine made strange noises and the tube was bringing up all sorts of disgusting fluids, draining the poisons out of her body. It was painful, but her stomach started to reduce.

  When they did a follow-up CAT scan, they saw that all the bleeding in her stomach and a haematoma in her kidney had been reduced to tiny spot of blood in her lower right abdomen. Maura was in the computer room when the doctors were examining the images from Kerry's CAT scan. They were amazed at what they saw and they called her over to see. Maura peered at the image, not really understanding what she was supposed to be looking at.

  “What is it?” she asked them. “Is it her brain?”

  “No, it's her kidney,” the doctor explained.

  He showed her the other images too and shook his head in disbelief.

  “It's unbelievable how fast your sister has recovered,” he said. “It's truly amazing. How is she healing so quickly?”

  Later, Kerry explained to her sister that she was simply using her energy, concentrating it on healing her body and sending it out to help Conor and all the other victims.

  Kerry was thrilled when Nuala came to visit her unexpectedly. It was so good to see her. Nuala had learned through her contacts in the media that a large amount of money was being offered for Kerry's photograph. Someone said it was as high as a hundred thousand euro! Kerry couldn't believe it. She was known in literary circles for her writing achievements but she certainly wasn't famous or remotely a “celebrity.” However, the world seemed to have become fascinated by her story and that of her family. Photographers were trying to sneak into the hospital to snap photos of her and security guards were positioned outside her door to keep them out.

  “Maybe you should let them take your photo,” Nuala suggested tentatively one morning when she'd beaten a path through the photographers to her room. “Your photograph might help to find Conor. You could ask if anyone has seen him and who knows who might happen to read the newspaper and might just know some information about him.”

  Reluctantly, Kerry agreed. She'd do anything to find her husband but giving her story and photo to the media somehow seemed gratuitous to her. Nuala took her picture and the photo was sent around the world. The photo was quite striking and many people wanted to know who had taken it. They assumed it was the work of a professional photographer. Kerry joked that
Nuala could have a second career.

  Kerry was smiling in the photo. She really had a serene feeling at the time, like there was a light within her. Look, her smiled seemed to say, how wonderful it is to be alive! She was, in fact, starting to feel much better. The tube was out of her nose and although her legs remained up and tied together, the bed was electric, so she could change positions.

  Sophie was on the phone to her every day, checking on her progress. She was constantly talking to the doctors in Ireland and relaying their recommendations to Maura and Kerry. Based on the doctors’ advice, Sophie told Maura that it was imperative to regularly massage Kerry’s legs in order to keep the blood flowing to them. Sophie and Emer helped to rub her feet and arms too.

  The calls kept coming. Aunt Aisling and Uncle Sean wanted to come out to see her right away but although Kerry longed to see them she knew it would be too much for them. She knew she'd be worried about them and it was important that she remained totally focused on herself and her recovery. When they continued to insist on flying out she almost gave in but she caught herself and said that she would see them when she went to the hospital in Cork. It was such a relief that they listened to her. She knew that she was surrounded by love and best wishes from everyone and although of course it meant a lot to her to have such loving friends and family, she still hadn't heard anything from her beloved Conor.

  The doctors were coming and going, checking on her all the time. She was getting better every day but she was still being fed intravenously. Somehow, she had settled into a daily routine. She was on drips for a long time, being fed intravenously, and every morning she was getting morphine injections and having blood taken. Then the nurses would wash her. They were very gentle and so kind and they were always smiling; but they insisted on taking her blanket to wash it. She protested for as long as she could. The grubby blanket had been on quite a journey with her and she had bonded with it in the same way that she imagined a small child loved their blanket. That dirty old piece of material had become her “blankie.” Eventually, after much resistance, she relented and the nurses took away her blankie for washing. They removed her precious security blanket, cleaned it, folded it and returned it to her freshly laundered. She never used it again, but she knew that she would keep it forever.