by Judy Duarte
At four-fifteen that afternoon, Kristin borrowed her father’s Lincoln Town Car and drove to Harbor Haven, a small seaside enclave twenty miles north of town.
As a teenager, she’d had to sneak out many times to see Joe Davenport. And it seemed as though history were repeating itself. She’d told her dad that she wanted to meet an old friend, which was true. Thank goodness he hadn’t asked for a name.
Other than the secret she’d kept for years, Kristin hadn’t lied to her dad since she and Joe had broken up. She’d always valued honesty. And the deceit clawed at her heart and conscience. But she didn’t know how to backpedal now; the lie seemed to hold her firmly in place.
She looked in the rearview mirror, checking her appearance in spite of her resolve not to do so. An hour earlier, she’d actually found herself primping before the bathroom mirror, trying to look her best.
A glance at the bed, where several different dresses and outfits lay, had made her realize the foolishness of her girlish behavior.
She and Joe were merely old friends. Nothing more, nothing less. And she certainly didn’t want him to think she still had the hots for him.
The memory of their breakup was still etched deeply in her mind. It still haunted her dreams. Still brought a familiar ache to her heart, a watery blink to her eyes, if she’d let it. For the most part, the past was over and done. She had a rosy future in front of her, and risking another broken heart wasn’t in her game plan.
After putting aside any romantic misconceptions, she’d finally chosen a pair of black jeans and a yellow sweatshirt. This was a casual meeting by the beach, not a date. And she wasn’t about to give her old lover the impression that she thought it was anything else.
She gazed out the windshield, following Joe’s directions until she found The Gull’s Nest, a quaint eatery that offered outdoor dining. Joe had been right about the place. It was out of the way and quiet.
Before parking the car, she spotted him sitting at a table outside, wearing faded jeans and a black T-shirt. He’d dressed casually, too. Thank goodness.
Yet he was still too darn attractive for his own good.
Those amber-colored eyes watched every step she made, until she reached the table where he waited, feet stretched out before him in that sexy stance he’d probably never shake.
He stood, while she took a seat.
“Thanks for coming out here to meet me,” he said.
She merely nodded.
A matronly waitress handed them menus, then asked if she could get them a drink.
Kristin thought an iced tea or soda might be best, but chose white wine for its calming effect. Joe ordered a beer.
“It’s pretty here,” she said, trying to avoid the topic they’d both come to discuss.
“I thought you’d like it.”
Rather than look at the sandy-haired man who studied her intently, she glanced at the setting sun, which had painted a colorful sunset. The kind made for artists. And lovers.
A summer breeze stirred the salty ocean air, and seagulls cried and frolicked on the shore. An aura of romance settled upon the table, as did a gentle yet heavy silence.
Kristin had expected Joe to throw his question out, like a fisherman casting his nets upon the sea. But he kept both his question and his thoughts to himself. For that, she was glad.
It wasn’t until after the waitress delivered their drinks that Joe finally spoke, finally began to lay his thoughts on the line. “I realize a lot has happened in the past eight years.”
More than he’d previously suspected, that was for sure, but she let him speak. Let him sort through his thoughts and open his case.
“I don’t have any right to demand anything from you,” he said, “but if Bobby is my son, I deserve to know.”
He was right, but before she could gather her courage, try to explain, the waitress returned to take their order.
They both asked for the fish tacos, which were the house specialty. Kristin hoped the chatty waitress would remain, pull up a seat and join them. Anything to prolong the moment of truth.
When the woman took their orders back to the kitchen, Joe continued. “You left town right after our breakup. You weren’t scheduled to go until August.”
That was true. But how could Kristin have stayed in town, heartbroken and pregnant with Joe’s baby? She'd had to leave before the secret was out. She’d loved Joe with all of her heart and soul. Breaking up with him had nearly torn her apart, and she wasn’t about to let her dad know she was hurting, that she’d been jilted. God only knew how he would have reacted.
She’d told Joe her father wasn’t a violent man, and he wasn’t. His battles were usually fought at a conference table or, when necessary, in court.
But back then, if faced with a pregnant teenage daughter, he might have stormed after Joe, pressed charges of some kind. Made Joe’s life miserable. So, in a way, leaving had been a means of protecting both of the men she loved.
“My mother’s sister lives back east,” Kristin said. “So when Aunt Mary invited me to spend some time with her before I started school, I jumped at the chance. Getting out of town seemed like a good idea. Believe it or not, I cared about you. And when you told me you didn’t love me, I was crushed.”
Again, Kristin relished being able to speak the truth. She hadn’t told anyone about Joe, about their relationship, about her heartbreak. And for once, it felt therapeutic to let the words out. Liberating.
“Did you leave town pregnant? With my baby?” His eyes drilled into her, his words hammered on her heart.
“I’ve never discussed Bobby’s father with anyone,” Kristin said, “and I won’t do so now, unless I can get you to promise me something.”
“It’s a simple question, Kristin. Just give me a yes or a no.”
Answering no would be so simple. So easy. But she wasn’t about to lie about Bobby any more than she had to. But neither was she willing to jeopardize her father’s health.
“Things aren’t simple, Joe. I’ve kept secrets from my dad, secrets that will anger him when he finds out. And I’m not ready to confess yet.” She took a sip of wine, enjoyed the cool taste as it slid down her throat. Then she studied the fireman across from her, the man who’d once turned her inside out and promised to do so again, if she let him get too close.
Thank goodness she knew better than to allow that to happen. She needed a man who could commit for the long haul.
“They say confession is good for the soul,” Joe said.
She nodded. “I’m sure you’re right. But my dad has serious health problems. He needs bypass surgery, but other complications—his weight, sugar diabetes, the early stages of emphysema—have the doctors debating whether he can handle the surgery. I want to keep his life stress-free until the cardiologist and other specialists can determine a treatment.”
Joe’s jaw tensed, and she feared he was digging in his heels for a battle of attrition. Was he unwilling to understand, to care about her dilemma, her personal stake in all of this?
“I’m not into secrets,” he said.
She knew that. That’s why she’d never told Joe about having to sneak out to meet him. “I’ll tell my dad the truth, but I don’t want him finding out until I think his health can handle it.”
“So what are you asking me? Not to tell your father?”
“I’m asking that you honor my secret and my privacy. If I share that information with you, I want you to promise not to tell anyone until I say it’s okay.”
Before Joe could speak, the waitress brought their food. The silence was almost overpowering, as Kristin awaited Joe’s decision.
She studied her plate and poked at her food. But it wasn’t just nervousness and a guilty conscience that made her stomach all atwitter. It was the sandy-haired man across the table, the man she’d never been able to shake from her blood. Or her heart.
Time heals, the old adage said. But did it? Why did her old lover continue to stir up feelings and desires she’d burie
d years ago?
A wave of guilt splashed over her, as she thought about Dylan, her fiancé. He was a good man. Solid. Dependable. Willing to make a commitment. Yet, if truth be told, he didn’t stir the same fire that Joe did.
But there was more to life than hot sex. And quite frankly, a warm, dependable soul who would stick by a woman through good times and bad would prove to be invaluable in the years to come.
“Okay, Kristin. I promise to keep your secret.” His gaze cornered her, demanded to hear the words. “Am I Bobby’s father?”
The tears slipped down her cheeks, revealing the words her mouth couldn’t seem to form. She nodded her yes.
Joe had suspected Bobby was his son. Kristin’s affirmation only validated what he already sensed. He could tell by looking, by some kind of built-in parental instinct, maybe.
A part of him wanted to lash out and be angry that she’d kept their child a secret from him. But guilt came flying back in his court. After all, he’d been the one to end things that day at the ball field. And he’d made it clear he didn’t want to see her again. He couldn’t blame her for staying away.
And as long as he was placing blame, he’d throw some out at their fathers—hers for being so obstinate about wanting what was best for his daughter and his for being a low-life jerk.
But that didn’t change the current fact.
Joe Davenport had a son. A boy who was a lot like him.
And for some reason that didn’t make any sense whatsoever, it pleased him to know he and Kristin had made a baby.
He’d loved her so much back then. Of course, that was before he knew how much her father hated him, how star-crossed their relationship had been. Still, their short time together had been good—almost magical—while it lasted.
And they’d made a baby.
“Think it happened out at the lake, that afternoon?” he asked. “Or at the cabin in Julian?”
“Huh?”
His question seemed to take Kristin aback, as though she’d forgotten about the day she’d first given herself to him.
“We only made love a couple of times,” he continued. “And I guess it really doesn’t matter when Bobby was conceived.”
“It was at the cabin,” she said, her voice soft and gentle. “I’m not sure how I know, but—”
“You’re probably right.” Joe had that same feeling. The day had been special. Perfect. And if God chose to bless the world with a new baby, that would have been the time.
A sappy grin rose to the surface, and he couldn’t stop the excitement that bubbled inside. He wanted to be the kind of father he’d missed having. A father like Harry Logan, who always had time to listen, time to advise. Time to throw back his head and laugh, to enjoy an afternoon with his family, even if that family included a bunch of onetime bad boys like Joe.
Yep, Joe wanted to be that kind of dad to Bobby. He wanted to have backyard barbecues and toss footballs around on the grass. He wanted to take his boy fishing. And teach him how to ride a bike, if Bobby didn’t know how already. They’d play catch. And—
Kristin kept brushing the tears from her eyes.
Sheesh. Was she unhappy about telling him? Or sorry she’d kept the secret? Joe wasn’t sure what broke the floodgates, but he felt responsible. He reached across the table and took her hand. “I’m happy about this.”
She looked up at him, surprise splashed across her face. “You are?”
“Yeah.” He shot her a smile that he hoped would help ease her mind, in one way or another. “I like the idea of having a kid.”
“But you understand, we have to take this slow. Right?”
“Yes,” Joe told her, “but I want you to understand something, too.”
“What’s that?”
“I might have agreed to hold off announcing my fatherhood, but that doesn’t mean I don’t expect to be involved in my son’s life.”
She nodded. “I understand.”
“Starting immediately.”
“What do you mean?” She pulled her hand back, and her eyes widened. “You promised not to say anything.”
“I won’t. I’ll keep the secret. But I didn’t say anything about staying away. I’ll start off by being his friend, you know, a fireman who took an interest in a fatherless boy.”
She seemed to relax, to accept his compromise. “I suppose that will work.”
“Some guys might not like a surprise like this, Kristin. But I’m not just any guy. I want to take an active part in Bobby’s life. And I plan to be the best dad in the whole world.”
She fingered the stem of her wineglass, then looked at him. Lord, she had the prettiest green eyes he’d ever seen. He’d missed gazing at her.
“But this is a secret for now,” she said.
“For now.” Joe shot her a smile. “But we’re going to tell Bobby. Soon.”
“When the time is right,” Kristin insisted. “You promised to let me decide when that would be.”
He had, although he was having cold feet about the promise. Still, he owed her something. He’d gotten her pregnant, then told her he didn’t love her anymore, left her to fend for herself and the baby.
Yep. He owed her something. And he’d given his word to keep quiet until she said the time was right.
But as far as he was concerned, that day couldn’t come too soon.
Thomas Reynolds might not think Joe was good enough for his daughter. And maybe he was right. But Bobby was a Davenport.
Once upon a time, Joe might have backed down when it came to a relationship with Kristin. But this was different. He wouldn’t bow out of his son’s life. Not now. Not ever.
Kristin and her father had better brace themselves, because Joe Davenport was going to be a father to his son.
And he would fight whoever got in the way.
Chapter Three
Kristin knew Joe meant to be a part of Bobby’s life, but she hadn’t expected him to show up at the front door on his next off-duty day, wearing a white T-shirt, a pair of faded jeans and a smile that battered the wall she’d built around her heart.
“I came to see Bobby,” he said.
She fought the urge to look over her shoulder, to see who had seen him at the door. But she didn’t dare peek; she didn’t really need to. Her father’s room was on the backside of the house, and he was busy on the Internet this morning, dabbling with his online stock purchases.
Besides, as a fireman, Joe’s interest in Bobby seemed reasonable. Her father couldn’t find any fault in that.
“I’d like to take Bobby to the station and introduce him to some of the guys. You know, let him see the equipment. Get a private tour.”
When he flashed her another crooked smile, she couldn’t help but relax. Somewhat.
For some crazy reason, she wished she’d known he was coming so that she could’ve run a comb through her hair, put on some lipstick.
But Joe had come to see Bobby, not her. And she had no business primping for her old lover. Not when she’d already been burned by him and his change of heart. And not when she had a commitment to someone else.
Kristin called her son, and moments later Bobby came bounding downstairs.
“Uh-oh.” The little boy slowed his steps when he laid eyes on the off-duty fireman on the stoop. “I haven’t been playing with the lighter anymore.”
“That’s good,” Joe said. “I came by to talk to you about fire safety and doing me and the guys down at the station a favor.”
“You want me to do a favor for you?” Bobby’s eyes grew wide. “Sure. What is it?”
“We’d like you to represent the fire department while you’re at school. You know, by telling the kids about the dangers of playing with matches and lighters. After all, you’ve seen what happens when a fire gets out of hand.”
Bobby broke into a full-on grin. “Cool.”
“Of course, I’d make you a Junior Fire Marshal,” Joe said, “so the kids know you’ve been trained and certified by the department.”
Joe shot a glance at her. “If it’s all right with your mom, I’d like to take you down to the station this morning.”
A part of her wanted to hold Bobby tight, to keep him away from his father. To keep the future from unfolding without her. But she couldn’t say no.
The idea of those two peas in a pod taking off without her didn’t sit well, though. She’d love to witness their first father-son experience and longed to see them together, to watch their reactions. But she’d better conjure an excuse other than the truth.
“I’ve never had an official tour of a fire station,” she said, trying to make her interest sound as though it had nothing to do with father and son. “Can I go along, too?”
Joe studied her for a moment, his thoughts impossible to read. Then he shrugged and slid her a half smile. “Sure.”
Had her request surprised him? Bothered him? She wasn’t sure, but something told her he was merely being polite for her son’s sake.
For their son’s sake.
Her secret had become his secret, and she hoped he would honor it until she deemed the time was right to reveal it.
“If you’ll excuse me,” she said. “I’ll get my purse.”
Moments later, they all climbed into his Tahoe and started down the road. Bobby sat in the middle of the spacious backseat, as eager and excited as Kristin had ever seen him.
How strange, she thought. To be riding down the street in Joe’s SUV. Like a family on the way to the amusement park. Or to the movie theater, the mall or the beach.
It seemed so right yet, at the same time, surreal.
Kristin found it difficult not to glance across the seat at the tall, rugged man behind the wheel. Impossible to ignore his square chin, the quirk of his smile, the glimmer in his gold-flecked eyes.
Even when she looked straight ahead, she couldn’t help but relish the smell within the cab of his vehicle, a combination of new car and Joe’s light, musky aftershave.
