by K. F. Breene
I stalked into the Magical Law Enforcement office with my usual snarl. There’d be no sense in confusing people with a pleasant attitude, which was exactly what I had underneath the carefully cultivated scowl. I’d spent all of yesterday eating, drinking, and sleeping at Dizzy and Callie’s house, relishing in their comfortable bed, salivating over their delicious food, and being spoiled with fun and laughter. It was like being with family, something I hadn’t experienced in years.
Penny had been dubbed mage-in-training, though she had—so far—refused the actual training. Callie had thrown her weight around, and Penny, with three shots of whiskey in her, had strapped on her new ladylike demeanor and told Callie where to stick it.
I’d laughed so hard that I cried.
Turned out Penny had been approached by a bunch of different mages, all wanting to train her. Finally, she’d agreed to the retreat with the best adjusted of the lot. Her recruiters had turned into zombies and the retreat had turned into a magical bloodbath.
To say the girl was now gun shy was an understatement.
She seemed to like me well enough, though. And while she definitely remembered my affinity with fire, she thought it was magical. Since she could perform magic without all the words and props that the dual mages needed, making her completely natural and one hell of a find, she didn’t think I was all that exceptional.
She could live. Yay her.
Now, at midday, seven days after I’d stormed into this office with a chip on my shoulder, I was back again, no mark in hand, really hoping Darius had done the right thing. He did not want me to enact any of the horrendous revenge schemes a bunch of drunk magic people had thought up.
“Stiffed again, I hear.” Garret leaned forward in his chair, his elbow braced on the cubicle desk.
Those words didn’t bode well.
“Fool you once, shame on you. Fool you twice, and you’re an idiot.” He laughed. People around him stopped what they were doing and looked my way.
“Taunt me once, shame on you.” I stopped in the mouth of his cube in my dirty, battle-stained clothes. I had zombie blood splattered down one side, the whole shebang was covered in scuffs and tears, and I sprinkled dirt as I walked. I could’ve stayed in the bright pink sweats, three sizes too big, Callie had loaned me, but decided I’d rather be dirty. “Taunt me twice. I dare you.”
The joy on his face melted into a guarded wariness. “Yeah, well…”
I continued to stare at him. “I dare you.”
His eyebrows fell. He leaned away from me slowly, pulling his elbow off the desk.
“That’s what I thought.” I continued down the aisle, my good mood evaporating like drizzle on hot cement. I pushed open the captain’s door and came to a stop in front of his desk. “Say my mark was checked in.”
“Can’t. Didn’t happen.”
Rage blasted through me. I curled my fists, turned, and punched his wall. I enjoyed shows of violence. “What the hell, captain?” I bellowed. “What the bloody hell? I hate vampires!”
I punched the metal of the new door, denting it.
“I’ll add that to their tab, will I?” The captain entwined his fingers in front of him on the desk. “Quite the bill they’re racking up.”
“Charge that lying cheat, Darius, the wanker.” Fuming, I ripped the door off its hinges. Or tried, anyway. They were a lot stronger than last time. The captain had seen me coming. “Dang it.”
“Sorry, kid. You could’ve been a contender.”
I wasn’t in the mood for movie quotes.
He must’ve sensed it, because his face softened. “What are you going to do?”
“I’m going to get my mark back, drag her annoying ass in here, and get paid. That’s what I’m going to do.” I clenched my teeth, firming up my resolve. There was no other way. “It’s alive or dead, right?”
“Alive. You going into their lair to get her?”
“Gonna have to. Dang it!” I braced my hands on my hips and turned to the door, more pissed that Darius would do me like this than about the actual grievance. “He was great at pretending to be a partnership. I actually trusted him to do the right thing.”
“Your bad.”
I huffed out a laugh. “Tell me about it.” I tossed up my hands. “Well then. You know what Woody Allen says: ‘Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.’”
The captain chuckled, leaning back. “I can’t assign anyone to help you if you don’t have your paperwork filled out.”
“Yes. We’ve been through this. Every time I come in, we go through it. Keep wishing on that star.”
“You’re thickheaded.”
“Yup.” Shaking my head, I headed out the door. Before I was completely out of the office, though, I turned back. “Put this next thing on their tab, too.”
“What next thing?”
I stalked down the aisle, my anger boiling over. I reached Garret’s cube, stepped in, and grabbed his desk. With a show of strength that had everyone gulping, I shook it until it broke away from the cube side, ripped it off, knocking his computer and crap to the ground, and tossed it aside like so much rubbish.
“What the hell?” he hollered.
“Oops.” I continued on my way, ignoring his shrieks and everyone else’s laughter. One day I would go head to head with that guy, and I’d beat him at the game he thought he was so good at. For today, I’d take Callie’s approach—I’d be a lady.
After a few too many hours in the bar so I could calm down before heading into the Realm after my mark, and now needing another few hours to return to sobriety, I finally made it to my neighborhood. The sun had waved goodbye to the sky, giving darkness full reign. Mince was standing on my street corner, hands in his pockets, staring toward the graveyard.
“Hey!” I said as I came up behind him.
He jumped and swung around with his hands out, karate-chop style.
I bent as peals of laughter escaped from me. I wished they were girlish giggles, but they were more like deep, body-jerking guffaws. “Really? What’s with the karate chop? I thought you were a boxer.”
“Holy fats, woman! I didn’t hear you walk up. How, I don’t know, with those heavy army boots you got on.” He put his hand to his heart. “I nearly pissed myself.”
“This is a bad neighborhood, Mince, or so I’ve been told. You need to watch your back.”
“Only from you. Other people make noise.” He looked me over, his eyes getting bigger. “What the hell have you been up to? Your house is a mess, your door is broken, Mikey is more terrifying than usual, and here you are, looking like you’ve been dragged through the gutter. Did you shit yourself, too?” He cocked his head in disbelief. “Tell me you did not shit yourself.”
“I thought the smell was still there.” I looked down at my clothes, which were the only things I hadn’t washed at Callie’s house. “I’m good. I didn’t. I want to go home.”
“Okay, but wait.” Mince reached out to stop me. I angled so his hand would grasp the air. “Fine.” He didn’t have to hurry much before catching up to my ambling pace. “Smokey thinks someone is in your house.”
“It better be a godforsaken vampire with my money.”
“Yeah, I know, Smokey has a screw loose, but he’s a good guy.”
I picked up the pace. “Where’s Mikey?”
“He had to go take care of something in the Garden District. I don’t like how much he’s been hanging around lately. Watching everything, lurking. That guy is not a man I need looking over my shoulder.”
“He won’t hurt you.”
“No, he won’t hurt you. He knows you’re crazy. Me, though, I’m just trying to go about my day. He hates that.”
I wasn’t sure if it was because I was drunk, but Mince was not making any sense to me.
I caught sight of Smokey on the other side of the street, creepy as usual, staring at my house. His head jerked in my direction.
“All right, Mince. If I scream, run.” I turned up my walk
way.
“Holy shit, girl, are you serious?” Mince backed away, shaking his head. “Why would you say that? Who are you expecting? Is that a sword?”
Mince wasn’t cut out for my life.
I pushed my door to the side and stepped in. The door tumbled down my steps and landed halfway down the sidewalk.
Oops.
Darkness and char greeted me, my house still messed up after its visit from that crazy mage and her demon sidekick. My eyes adjusted in time for movement to catch my eye. I took two steps further into my house and quickly crossed the opening of the kitchen. With my back against the wall, I stared at the vampire standing in my living room.
It was not Darius.
“You,” I said, recognizing his intense scowl. “You aren’t delivering my mark or my money, by any chance, are you?” I had a damn good idea why he was there.
Shapes came out of my bedroom and guest room, three in all. I felt a presence close by, one or more in the kitchen.
“Your contract with Darius is over,” said Moss, Darius’s driver. “You are no longer under his protection.” He walked toward me slowly, all grace and strength. He’d be fast.
I glanced at the others crowding in. They weren’t of the same level, but they were still vampires. If I were sober, my chances wouldn’t look good. I was nowhere near sober.
“Question.” I raised my hand. “Can I phone a friend?”
“Sure. From the afterlife.”
“You can’t just randomly kill a human,” I said, wishing I could back up. There was nowhere to go. “Especially one who just helped your faction. And your boss.”
Moss’s scowl didn’t change. “You aren’t human, and by killing a bond-mate, you committed a grave offense to our faction. The punishment is death.”
“I didn’t peg you for the type who’d bond a crazy person, Moss. You don’t have enough humor for that.” I eased my sword out of its sheath. It was harder than it should’ve been. I was way too drunk for this. “I get that you’re pissed about John. Look, that was a bounty set up by his neighborhood. I’m not saying they should get your heat, but…they should get your heat. I just go where the money is.”
“That will be your undoing.”
I laughed, then snorted. I couldn’t help the latter. “You’re a nerd. But seriously, is that scowl glued on? Do you ever just slip it off just to see how it feels?”
He rushed at me, way faster than I was used to, since I wasn’t used to fighting while intoxicated. I stabbed out with my sword, missing entirely. I felt a hand wrap around my neck, coming from the side. It was the vampire from the kitchen. Claws bit into my skin.
Moss reached out, his face a horrifying mask of violence. I slashed at him, catching him weakly on his side. His hand closed around the swampy arm at my neck. Moss ripped it away, and the claws scratched across my skin.
I jabbed at Moss again, catching him in the torso. Until I realized that version of him was not real. My sword cut through empty space.
I closed an eye and tried again, pretty sure I had it right this time. I still missed. He wasn’t an elder, but he was an old-ass vamp.
His claws ripped through the chest of the vampire right next to me, yanking out the heart.
“Oh shit. I’m confused.” I stopped from attempting to jab Moss as more vampires rushed in from the side.
“Would you be at all helpful?” he said.
“I’m still so confused!” I turned to the oncoming vamps, thankfully much slower. I slashed, missing the one I was aiming for but hitting another. My sword cut through his chest, catching his heart. Lucky.
I hacked at a different one, but hit the wall and stumbled, falling next to the dying, failing vampire and the legs of his living cronies. “Oops.” I flipped to my back and hacked away a leg. A vampire stumbled in its monster form. He bent to slash me.
I grabbed my gun, yanked it free with some effort, and fired. The ceiling rained down on me as the claws kept coming. I gulped as I prepared for them to slice into me.
The vampire was ripped away. The other disappeared a moment later.
“Good work, Moss. Team player.” I jumped to my feet, staggered, and prepared for more action. I probably should’ve stayed sober after all.
Darius stood in front of me in a crisp suit, smelling freaking divine. He smoothed back his hair before adjusting a cufflink.
I put my hand to my forehead. “I’m confused again. I think I might be delirious.”
Movement by the door drew my eye. Two Mosses waited with their arms crossed.
“So. Wait.” I pointed at the Mosses. Then closed an eye so I wasn’t looking at two Dariuses. “Was he, or was he not, bonded to John? And who were those other guys? Also, and this is the most important question, who is going to clean up all these gooey, dead vampire bodies?” I held up a finger. “One more. Does anyone have a bottle of whiskey? Mine died in the fire.”
“Reagan,” Darius said, “why do you still have no eyebrows?”
I felt the area where said eyebrows were pinched together. “They were burned away in the battle and Callie ran out of serum restoring the hair on my head.”
“You look hideous.” His gaze took me in. “And the state of your house. How can you live like this?”
I struck with my sword, closing my eye to make sure I got the right Darius. He moved away easily. Suddenly, my sword went missing. My gun, which I stuck out next, disappeared from my hand a moment later.
“No problem. About that whiskey…” I lifted my chin, not bothered. I was too drunk for that.
He stepped backward, away from the bodies, and checked his shoes. They were still shiny. “I’ve come to deliver your earnings,” he snapped. Moss came forward with a briefcase, his scowl definitely permanent. “This case holds cash. If you would prefer a check, or to be on payroll, that can also be arranged. Whatever you would like.”
“Just turn my mark in.” I matched Moss’s scowl. “Just turn her in and we’ll do this legit-like.”
“The mark died before Vlad could question her, unfortunately. Without the demon, she was unable to cross the gate into the Realm, something we did not foresee.”
I’d opened my mouth to argue, because that was crap, when it sank in. If she’d been able to talk to Vlad, she would’ve told him all about me. Darius was trying to protect me.
My mouth snapped shut so hard that my teeth made a gross sound.
“She has been dealt with, the bounty removed and the fines paid. You get a percentage of that, I believe, along with all your expenses paid, no receipt needed. I will turn a blind eye to the way you broke into my house, threatened everyone, and robbed Mr. Giles.”
“He deserved it.”
“Yes. He is being punished. This is the rest of your fee, as promised.” He set the briefcase at my feet, “Along with the contact information for multiple real estate agents I trust so you can choose your new home. We can…fix this one so you don’t accrue any financial damages.” He stepped back again. “I pay my debts, Reagan. You should never doubt that.”
“I can kill you. You should never doubt that.”
His lips tweaked upward into a smile. “Not now, you couldn’t. Do you have a spell for seclusion?”
I gave him the Evil Eye. “Why?” I wiggled, because my lady bits had roared to life. Drunk and horny were not a good combo. I was liable to launch myself at him.
“I will not touch you.” He spread his very large hands out.
“I hate you.” I tried to stick my hand into my satchel, only to remember I’d left it with Callie so they could go through my greatly dwindled arsenal. “Also, no. I do not.”
He took a step, and suddenly I was in my room with him and his arms were pulling away from me.
“Liar,” I mumbled, staggering. “That was fast. Am I that fast when sober? Because I honestly did not think I was this slow when drunk.”
He steadied me with a warm hand.
“No,” I said. “Just so you’re clear. Muffin shop is closed.
Come back never.”
“Vlad is not a stupid man,” he whispered.
I breathed through my mouth, trying not to smell his delicious cologne.
“Eventually, he will figure out what you are. His interest in you is piqued, and while he has not been in the presence of Lucifer yet, I assure you, eventually it will happen. That will be all it takes. If your smell and Lucifer’s are in any way similar, or if you look anything alike, or your magic matches in any way, he will be on your trail. Eventually, he will learn your true nature.”
“My dad is bound to find out I exist. He has been trying for offspring since time began. I’m not the only one he’s created, but I am the only one with…my bloodline—the only one who could survive the underworld. I’ll have to face him someday, because of Vlad or the next guy. I don’t think any parent wants to hear that their child doesn’t want to continue the family business. I just don’t know if my parent will try to force the issue.”
He grabbed my shoulders, staring down into my eyes.
“Are you interested in sex, or”—I ran my hands down his front—“how about whiskey and a lay? I’m in. You?”
His lips quirked upward into a smile again, and his gaze roamed my face. “We will revisit this side of you. I have an important dinner this evening.” His expression turned serious again. “If you bond me, you will be protected in our society. You will be mine. Any vampire who wishes to do you harm will have to come through me, even Vlad. That is sacrosanct.”
“Nothing with vampires is sacrosanct.”
“Unicorns and bonds.” He lifted his hand and grazed his thumb against my lips. “Unicorns and you.”
“Sir, we are running late,” Moss called down the hall.
I snapped my arms up, shoving his away. “Okay, I know no one likes the girl who is all doe-eyed one moment, and cold the next, but seriously, this is your fault. Stop with the whispering and the smell and the handsome. It’s annoying.”
He lowered his hands, his eyes intense—all four of them. “Think about it.”
I would forget by the time I woke up. That was my insurance.
“Okay, but about Moss and the bond and all those vampires…” I let him direct me out of the room.
