“And yet here I am. Why did you bring me into your home then? I know you were unwillingly attracted to me from the beginning, correct?”
For that she got a grudging, mumbled, “Yeah”.
She chuckled this time. “We’re a pair aren’t we?”
This time he grinned. “Oh don’t make me laugh it hurts. Now quit stalling and tell me why you wanted me off the case.”
“Fine.”
Where to start? He knew about the two men who’d hurt her, but not really the reasons she was so relationship shy. She’d never told anyone what really happened with Danny, other than Effie. Even Effie didn’t know all of it, she’d guessed most and had the insight not to ask questions, just given her support. Glenna had a feeling she could confide in Patrick, though he may take it upon himself to make the man pay. It was so long ago, she really didn’t think anything would happen to Danny.
“I did my best, really I did, to keep you out of my heart. I’ve lectured myself more times than I can count since I met you, that you’re not relationship material. That I’ve only known you for a nanosecond so how can I judge. The big problem is; that you are. I know it here.” She patted her stomach with her free hand. “You’re a wonderful father, a caring person, you love your parents. You have family guy written all over you. You remind me of Tyler, Gabe, and David. And once I get to know my other brother-in-law Paco, I’m sure you’ll remind me of him also. All law enforcement and all good family people. And David had baggage of the number two kind and also has a daughter from a woman who left his heart damaged. So here I am in your hospital room trying my hardest not to care because I literally don’t know if I can wonder every day if you’ll come home.”
“And yet every day I could go to a boring every day office job and not return.”
“Yeah, I know I’ve heard the arguments from you ten minutes ago and ever since Tyler joined the feds. You could be hit by a car, be in a car accident, have a sudden heart attack. But you wouldn’t be putting yourself in added danger on purpose every day either.
“I have dealt with that since Tyler became an agent, one of the reasons I moved to California. I miss my family, but I fell in love with the Napa valley. I have promised myself to visit more, and dammit they better come and visit me more also.”
His hand left her hand and before she missed it’s warmth he gently wrapped his fingers behind her neck and pulled her in and softly kissed her. Before it got out of control, he released her and lifted brow as if telling her to continue.
She had to settle her stomach’s gymnastics. The man could pack a punch to the gut. That moment was when she realized even though, as she’d thought earlier, they hadn’t known each other for longer than a split second, he was the one.
A lightning bolt struck her in the chest.
Her ma had told her that it had happened like that with her. Her mom had met her dad and zing, in love at first sight.
Glenna had never believed her until now. Was she still nervous? Yes. Hell yes. She needed to be cautious.
“To continue. Yes, those are two issues that I’ve had to overcome. And I believe I have. I love Finn and…” She grinned. “And Horace, mostly because he didn’t kill my Agnes. I think you’re working around my heart and together we can work through your ex issues. I alone have to deal with my worry, and I don’t think it’ll ever be easy, but I promise to work on it.”
“So no-hold-barred? I am falling hard for you too. I have a suggestion or as I mentioned before, a plan.”
“I’m listening.” Though she still needed to be honest with him. Completely. About Danny and Lance before they could go on, but she’d hear him out first.
“As I said we’re a couple or so we want everyone to believe.”
“Whoa, I know you told the four about meeting me through Tyler, but I didn’t think they really believed.”
“Yeah, at first they didn’t believe me. I insisted that, yes, I was an agent and knew you’d been robbed but the only reason I was around was the fact you are my fiancée.”
“And that was all it took even after you’d told them about Tyler, they left you battered after that?”
“Well, not exactly. They still were a bit suspicious so that’s when I described in detail about Quantico and how I’d known you since then and we’re newly engaged. I’m sure they’re still going to check it out.”
“They were asking you between punches or something?”
Horrified didn’t begin to describe what was going on in her rumbling stomach, her nerves were tinging at the thought of him going through what he had. She needed a Tums…
“No, one of them came up behind me and locked my arms so they could quiz me. And yes, there were a few punches here and there along the questioning.”
She winced but didn’t say anything. If she opened her mouth she was afraid she’d throw up all over his clean hospital sheets.
“I know they’ll figure out a way to check the dates we were there and I believe when Tyler went to Quantico you were still in Brooklyn.”
“Yes, but I left shortly after.”
“I know, back to my idea, plan, and suggestion whatever... We’re already going to be putting on a show but I think we should make it real.”
“What?”
“Glenna, I want you in my life. I need to stay focused right now, but part of that is staying close to you. This will be a trial engagement. The bad guys have to believe it, so if we tell everyone, Effie, my parents, your parents that we’re in love the easier it will be for them to believe. When this is over we’ll talk again. If at that time you’ve still got doubts we’ll face them together. But I’m not letting you walk away until I know that we’ve talked everything through and there is no chance for us. But I believe that we belong together and we’ll find a way. Because I want a chance to have you at my side.”
She ignored the last part, she wasn’t ready to think of that yet. “My parents are going to know because of Tyler.”
“We’ll make them believe. We need to keep up the fiancée bit. It’s not very romantic, but here goes, Glenna will you be my fiancée? We’ll tell my parents, your parents, and Effie and make it official.
“Let’s take it one day at a time until we catch the bad guys. When this is all over I’ll go the romantic route if need be, but I hope by then we’re ready to call this what it is. Two people falling in love and wanting to spend their life together, have a family.”
“Finn would make an awesome big brother.”
“Yes, he would. What do you say?”
Chapter Fourteen
“I think there are a few more things I need to tell you before you ask that question,” Glenna said.
Patrick struggled to sit up straighter, not an easy task when every fucking muscle in his body screamed in outrage at the prospect of moving. What hadn’t she told him? He had been feeling pretty positive when she’d admitted she’d got past the first two hurdles.
“I need to be honest about Danny Collins and Lance Gordon.”
“Collins is the bastard who broke in, right? I knew there was more than you were telling me, what happened?”
Finn poked his head in the hospital room. “Hey dad, I need to go home because I have football practice before school.”
They both jumped at the interruption. Patrick held in a groan only by sheer will.
“I’m sorry Finn, I didn’t realize it was so late.”
Glenna smiled at his son, and his world got a little better. She did love Finn. Patrick would do everything in his power not to let Finn get hurt regardless of what happened between them. He knew that Glenna would do the same. This time it was worth the risk.
Glenna stood, and immediately he missed her. It had seemed so comfortable having her perched on the side of his bed.
“Patrick, I’ll come back after I take Finn home, I need to check on Agnes anyway. We left in such a hurry.”
“Now we know our boy is going to be fine we’re going to head home also. We’ll take Finn with u
s so you can stay, Ms. Beckett,” his father said.
They’d walked in with Finn. The room seemed smaller with his family gathered around him. In that moment, he knew things would work out with Glenna. He was well on his way to being in love her and his family would love her too.
“It’s Glenna, please.”
His mother wrapped an arm around Glenna. “Glenna, it is then. Take care of our boy, we’ll be back first thing in the morning.”
They were gone before he could even say good-bye. When Glenna turned toward him again, he patted the bed. He wanted her back where she belonged.
“You’re not going to let me off the hook and discuss this another time, are you?”
He scooted over as best he could without his body screaming at him and shook his head.
She sucked in a breath as if what she was about to tell him was not a pleasant subject. He’d already gathered that.
“You know the first part of the story. He’d wanted a relationship, felt he deserved it after he’d found such a sweet deal for me. I was so naïve. I truly thought we were friends.”
He saw pain enter her eyes and almost told her she didn’t have to tell him. He had a feeling she needed to tell him for her own healing. She closed her eyes for a moment, shielding whatever she was feeling from him. He reached for her hand and held on hoping to give her strength.
“That night, I was so immersed in my accounting that the door was opened and he was walking toward me before I even noticed. Then it was too late to react. I scooted my chair back intending to stand, but that only gave him the advantage of a clear avenue of attack.”
Could she really go through this again? Would he make her go to the police? She wasn’t sure she could tell it to them. She wanted to be honest, for the first time. Let the emotion and words come out so she could let go of the shame and the hurt. Though Effie had guessed she didn’t know the true depth of her shame.
She’d told no one the full details of that night.
“Glenna. I imagine you are about to tell me that the bastard got away with far more than what you told the police. If you’re worried that I will want you to press charges after all this time. Don’t. It’s been over ten years, I believe in Karma. If he hasn’t gotten what he deserves and been punished for his deeds, I believe sooner or later they will come back and bite him in the ass. Just get it out and then it will be time to let go and heal.”
He’d read her mind. The relief was almost overwhelming. He would listen and she could move on. But would he want to move on with her? Because no matter how hard she tried not to, she was ashamed and the guilt ate at her insides. Maybe it had been her fault and she’d deserved what he’d done to her for leading him on.
“Come here.”
He pulled her hand. She could tell it caused him pain to move over a little more so she could lay beside him. It made it easier to snuggle in and reveal the terrible events of that night without looking him in the eye while revealing her dark secret. She took in a fortifying breath.
“He grabbed me by the shoulders and pulled me from the chair. I fought, oh how I fought, but he was so much bigger than I.” The same fear gripped her in the gut. “He screamed at me ‘you fucking tease, I’m going to take what you promised.’ Those words echo through my mind at the most odd moments of the day. Anyway, then he raised a fist and belted me in the nose.”
Pain shot through her head as if it had just happened. “Everything went dark for a moment. The pain, I can’t even explain the pain. I wasn’t left alone to gather my wits. With his other fist he socked me in the stomach and I couldn’t breathe. Stars exploded behind my eyes and I couldn’t see the next punch coming, but it knocked me on my ass.”
She had to stop a moment, gathered her wits because she was back in that night. She swallowed to clear the block stopping her words, clogging them at the base of her throat. Trying to get out, but a ball of emotion wouldn’t let them pass. Patrick waited, gathered her in to share his warmth. After a moment a small opening let the words flow.
“He stood over me, glaring at me, while I lay on the floor trying to think. What had I done? What did he mean by being a tease? I honestly didn’t understand how this man could be my friend and yet do the things he’d just said and done. Yes he’d said a lot more. How I’d led him on, I’d let him think we were a couple. Then once I’d gotten what I’d wanted; I wanted to be ‘fucking friends’. Well he was going to have me no matter what, he said.”
She closed her eyes to picture it. One last time, and then she’d let it leave her mind with the words she was about to say. And if Patrick didn’t understand, then he was not the man she thought he was. And once again she’d picked the wrong person.
A little niggle of hope told her that wouldn’t be the case that he would understand. It was the only reason she was able to continue.
“He reached for me then and ripped my blouse off along with my bra. Had they been of sturdy fabric it wouldn’t have been so easy for him. When my breasts…” The air in her lungs trapped she struggled to release it, after a moment she let the breath rush out. She gulped in more air so she could continue. “…he grabbed them and pinched and pulled and bit at them.
“I never let the hospital see them. They would have reported it. I told them that he’d broke my nose and that was when Effie had arrived so there was no need to remove my clothes. They tried to insist but I was so upset they let it drop.”
Again, Patrick waited. Before she could continue, a nurse arrived to take his vitals. Though she made Glenna move and gave her a disapproving look, she didn’t say anything.
After the woman had left, she gently shut the door and Glenna returned to the warm haven of Patrick’s bed. She wished she could just stay like that and not think, but she’d started the story and it needed to be finished.
“You know, maybe now, I can finally tell my parents what happened. I need to be honest with them and my family.”
In answer he drew her a little closer, but he must have realized she needed to go at her own pace. The nurse had interrupted at a crucial turn of the story, at precisely the part she’d never let herself reveal to anyone. She wasn’t sure she could pick it up again. She inhaled deeply and every muscle tensed as if her body didn’t want her to relive those moments.
She had to let go in order to move forward. She may have thought she had, but she’d just been going through the motions of life.
“After ten years you’d think the events would start to fade and blur. But because I haven’t let them out, they’ve been locked inside all this time. Patrick, I need to let it go so I can be whole again.”
“I know you do. If it takes all night, that’s fine. I’m not going anywhere.”
Though his attempt at humor fell flat, it still made her smile. Again she gulped in air to fortify her.
“After he pulled off my top he leaned back so he could look at me and sneered, ‘You think you’re so special, well you’re not. If I didn’t need to teach you a lesson, I wouldn’t bother. You’re nothing.’ And then he grabbed at my leggings I’d been wearing and ripped them, I think he used a knife or scissors, by then I think my mind had gone into protective mode or something. The rest is a blur of pain and embarrassment.
“The things he said, he never shut up. I remember those words as if they’re seared into my soul forever. Over and over again how I was the worst kind of tease. I didn’t have any self-confidence so I used men to make myself feel better. I was ugly and he was doing me a favor. How I owed him for helping me. All the while he was raping me. Maybe that is what he liked because he hurt me, he was aroused to the point his movements were frenzied. I do remember the more he talked and degraded me the more excited he became.”
She would not repeat the actual words, it had been hard to repeat the few things she had, but most of which were peppered with names and words she’d never heard her brothers’ say, or any man say, for that matter.
Patrick reached up with his free hand and brushed the hair off her fac
e, then brushed a kiss across her forehead. It calmed her enough to return to her story.
“I think he must really hate women. I must have been screaming the entire time because Effie said she’d heard me in her Bistro, and my cries grew louder as she ran closer across the parking lot. She said he’d been leaving when she was half way to my back door.
“She knew what happened the minute she saw me. I didn’t need to tell her. But she honored my wishes and let me tell things my way. I was so devastated at that point, I think I believed every vile thing he’d said to me. I felt dirty and ashamed, mortified, and many more things I can’t even put into words. So many times since that night I’ve gone over my relationship with that vile creature from the day I met him until he left me broken on my office floor.”
“And?” Patrick finally broke the silence as if he knew the beginning of the worst was over.
“And I can never find anything I could have done to make him think I wanted him in any way other than a friend. Everything was very professional, or so I thought, during the search for the property. The paperwork, the closing, everything. Then after he asked me to go to a celebratory dinner because the shop was now officially mine—with a mortgage.”
“A normal man would have taken all of that as it was meant. You can’t judge all of us by one twisted bastard.”
She chuckled, it went a long way to untie the knots currently in her stomach. She wasn’t finished yet though.
“I don’t. You’d never treat a woman like that, and neither would my brothers. He masked the fact he was a bad person. He was always kind and considerate. After that dinner, I thought we’d become friends. He asked me to dinner a few more times, but I always had things to do. Then we went to lunch a few times and I enjoyed the lunches. Then he asked me to dinner again and I was available.
“That night he brought flowers and the warning bells in my mind went off. I was flattered but I had no feelings for him. When he gave them to me I said as much, well that I was flattered. I said I thought of him as a good friend and hoped we could remain as such. I told him that I was busy with my business and really didn’t have the time to commit to a relationship and that he deserved someone who could. I swear I tried to let him down in the most compassionate way possible.”
Abandoned (The Beckett Series Book 6) Page 15
