by Jodi Payne
By the time Thelma was done, Aubrey was propped up in bed and had a glass of water with a straw in one hand. He was able to see out of both eyes, though the one wasn't opening too well at all. And he'd finally noticed the wrap around his middle. Fractured ribs. Two, to be exact, and a hell of a lot of bruises to go with them. Enough to keep him in bed for the near future.
But Aubrey had a stack of questions that Thelma wouldn't answer and finally Haley told him to shut up and stop asking. He did, but only for as long as it took for the two of them to leave the room.
He looked at Kelly. But the kid held a hand up. “I know, cowboy. There's lots to tell,” he said, sitting on the end of the bed. “Ed's laid up bad. Doc says you damn near killed him. Says he won't be riding for at least a month and then that's only if his jaw sets up right."
Secretly, Aubrey cheered. He probably ought to be ashamed of himself, and he would be eventually, but he couldn't find it in him just then.
"The men that beat you up are gone. Fired, all three of ‘em. Haley didn't wait for the sun to be up before he handed them their hats. They ain't been replaced yet, and the rest of the hands are grumblin’ ‘bout bein’ overworked, but Haley's standin’ his ground. Looks like I still got me a job, but Haley, he says I only get one warnin', and that was it."
One warning. That's what Haley'd told Aubrey, after the time he was caught blowing Chet out behind the tractor shed. Haley warned him again after they got caught fucking around in the loft, which they'd done plenty before, they just hadn't ever been caught. Aubrey figured he was in for a serious ass chewing this time, but it looked like Haley was going to wait until he was mobile again.
Aubrey nodded. “Guin?” he asked, and Kelly smiled.
"She's right as rain, my friend. She's back out runnin’ with the other girls."
Aubrey smiled, but it made his jaw ache and he lost it quickly. “Thank you,” he managed to say, and Kelly moved closer and kissed him lightly.
"You got one frightening temper, cowboy,” Kelly told him seriously. “I swear to God I thought they was gonna kill you."
Aubrey didn't know what to say. He knew he had a bad temper, knew it showed itself at the worst possible moments, it always had. This was the worst it'd ever been, though, and he needed to think. He was in a bad way, and he knew he needed to figure out what was happening before it ruined him.
He reached out and pulled Kelly closer, touching their foreheads together, and closed his eyes. He could feel the kid breathing. Kelly smelled like hay and saddle soap and real, honest man. Aubrey concentrated on him for a while without letting him go.
Chapter Ten
Being laid up recovering didn't suit Aubrey well at all. It was three more days before the swelling around Aubrey's eyes healed up enough that they could open and close normally. Even then, the bad one was still bloodshot and bruised, and he had several stitches above it. He had a cut at one corner of his mouth that didn't require stitches, but was ugly anyway, and various other bruises and abrasions.
His battered ribs kept him in bed for almost two solid weeks, and the more he complained about it the more Doc took him to task, warning him that too much movement could cause him worse trouble. Aubrey didn't like the idea of surgery and a hospital stay, so he stayed put, but he wasn't happy about it.
Kelly kept working and looking after Aubrey's place, and at night he slept in the other single bed in Aubrey's room. Aubrey would lie awake and listen to him breathe, wishing that the beds were close enough that they could at least touch, even though anything more was definitely out of the question. If his broken ribs didn't stop him, being under Haley's roof would.
It was another rainy night, just as fall was coming on, when there was a knock on his door after dinner. It was a rare thing that Aubrey saw anyone but Kelly in the evenings, with all the hands headed home to their families. Haley was usually tied up with ranch business, and Thelma with her mending and chasing after their gaggle of kids. The girls were quiet enough with their sewing and homework, but the boys were a handful.
Usually Kelly would help Thelma with the dishes and then he'd come upstairs, sometimes with book or a newspaper, sometimes with a tape to put into the VCR that one of Thelma's friends had lent them. Wasn't like him to knock, though, so Aubrey figured it wasn't Kelly.
"Come on in,” he answered from bed. The Doc had cleared him for a bath and he'd gotten a haircut that morning, so he felt presentable for company.
"Hey.” Haley nodded at him coming in through the door.
Aubrey smiled. He didn't see much of Haley at any time of day. “Hey, Boss. Come on in."
Haley pulled up a chair and sat. “Doc says you'll be up in a few days,” he said.
"Yeah, he told me he'd be by again day after tomorrow.” That was the best news Aubrey had heard since the day Amy told him that Guinevere would be okay. “I got a real bath today and everything. Ain't that a blessing?"
"Yeah, Aubrey. Yeah, it sure is."
"I thought maybe you could send Denny up and we could talk over where things are at. I figure I'll be able to get back to the barn by next week."
Haley nodded. “Denny and Kelly make a good team, Aubrey."
"Figured. The kid's a good worker."
"That he is,” Haley nodded. “That he is.” Haley sighed. “Aubrey...” the man's voice trailed off and he looked down at his folded hands.
Aubrey raised an eyebrow. Wasn't like Haley to be at a loss for words. “What is it, Boss?” But then Aubrey realized what it had to be. “Look, I'm fine, Boss. I'll take it easy this weekend and then by next week I should be right as rain. Don't you worry about a thing."
"I'm sure ya’ will be, Aubrey, but ... well, the fact is Denny's going to keep the position and run the barn."
"What?” Aubrey asked sharply. He was shocked. Didn't seem like Denny to kick a man when he was down.
"Aubrey, it's like this. You've done a lot of good work for us on the farm. You've been with us a long time and I know you love them animals. But the fact is, son, yer temper's red hot these days and the Mrs. don't like yer drinkin', and ... well, I gotta cut you loose, son."
Aubrey stared at Haley for a long time, words escaping him completely. When he finally could speak, his voice was rougher than he meant it to be. “Ed had it comin'. You know that, Boss."
"Yeah.” Haley nodded. “Yeah, I know."
Aubrey felt something like panic or maybe even fear settle into his chest. “Those boys jumped me ... how many? Three? Four?” He supposed he sounded like he was begging.
"And they're gone, Aubrey, but son, you did throw the first punch. And Ed's been on the farm a lot longer'n you have, remember."
"So?"
"So, you laid into him but good, Aubrey. He was bad off, you hearin’ what I'm sayin'? Bad off. He had the Sheriff up to his place a couple o’ times."
Oh, Christ. “The Sheriff?"
Haley held up a hand as if to stop Aubrey's train of thought. “Ed and I had a long talk about it and as a favor to me he ain't gonna press no charges."
"Oh.” Haley just looked at him. The man didn't seem to want to say anything more. “Because you're firing me."
Haley nodded, looking down at the floor for a moment. “Yep. I'd thought about asking the Sheriff to come see you, too, but Kelly was sure you'd want those boys gone and wouldn't want to involve the law yerself."
Aubrey sighed, understanding well what Haley had done for him. He'd been a good friend and covered for him, hushed it all up and made it go away. But now Aubrey was going to have to go away with it. Kelly was right anyway, the law had never been on his side before, and he sure wouldn't be calling on the Sheriff for help.
"And you know,” Haley went on, “that I told you more times'n I can count that you can't ... do what you was doin’ ... on my property.” He raised a hand sharply. “And before you get on me, I'd say the same damn thing to any of them boys if they'd had themselves a sweetheart up in that loft. It's cheap, Aubrey, and disrespectful to the men. I
hate to say so, son, but this here mess is yer own doin'."
Aubrey shook his head. “Did you just call me ‘cheap', Haley?"
"Not you, son, just what you been doin'."
"Cheap is as cheap does.” Aubrey said bitterly. On the one hand, he couldn't believe what he was hearing, but on the other, he understood completely. He didn't like it, or agree, but he had broken the rules one too many times, and his temper had gotten out of hand. He couldn't argue with Thelma's dislike of his thirst, either. Hardly mattered if it was right anyway, it was happening whether it was or not.
"I wish I didn't have t’ do this, Aubrey. Ya’ know I've had yer back before and if ... well, this is what it is, son. It ain't just about you. I got a farm full o’ hands I gotta think about."
Aubrey couldn't get angry, not after that conversation, so he went numb instead. “Sure. Sure, Bo ... Haley."
Haley stood up. “I want you to know that Thelma'n I are happy to have you fer as long as y'need to get well."
Aubrey thanked him as he left the room, but he had no intention of taking the man up on his offer.
Chapter Eleven
Three days later, and with a handful of sternly delivered restrictions, Doc finally gave Aubrey permission to get out of bed. Aubrey had done nothing but think about that moment since his conversation with Haley, and he was up, showered, and in his truck in less than an hour. He wasn't one for goodbyes, so he promised Thelma he'd keep in touch, thanked Haley, shook his hand, and took off for home.
His little house was dusty and quiet, and Aubrey spent a couple of hours cleaning up. He moved slowly, and gave up when his body told him to, but he'd managed to clear out the dust and give the kitchen a passable scrubbing before he needed a break.
Haley had insisted on giving him some money. He'd called it back pay even though Haley knew he hadn't owed Aubrey one slim dime. So Aubrey had some cash in his hands, a little bit more in the bank, a letter of recommendation from Haley, and a plan to drive west. Aside from that, he had nothing. No job to go to, no destination, no glimpse of his future to speak of, but the town was just too small for him to hang around anymore, especially with what he figured his reputation had become.
The sound of the front door banging open propelled Aubrey from his seat and he winced and pressed a hand to his ribs. He stood, gaping at Kelly who was framed in the doorway and shivered at the rush of chilly air that followed the kid inside. “You're a first class asshole, you know that?” the kid shouted at him. Kelly's face was red, his eyes angry and his shoulders stiff.
Aubrey sighed and looked at the floor, wincing now at more than just the twinge his ribs had given him for standing up too fast.
"Haley said he told you three days ago he was lettin’ you go."
Aubrey nodded. “Yeah, he did."
"And you didn't think maybe I'd like to know about that? What the fuck, Aubrey? What the fuck?"
"Kid..."
"Kid nuthin'! You sit yer ass down, cowboy, and shut up a minute."
Aubrey gingerly sat back down in his chair and rubbed at his forehead, trying to hold off the headache that was forming behind his eyes. He'd been hoping for an easy escape, but he ought to have known better. Kelly didn't know how to let anything go. He'd let the kid say his piece and then Aubrey would let him down easy and put the thing to rest. “Go,” he said hoarsely, but Kelly wasn't waiting for permission and talked right over him.
"I've been bustin’ my ass keepin’ that barn runnin’ for you. I've been sleepin’ up in that damned twin bed for weeks while you recovered, feedin’ you your fuckin’ dinner, bathin’ your ungrateful ass, and bitin’ my tongue when you were all piss and vinegar because I knew it was hard for you to sit up there, day after day, bored out of your mind. I don't do that shit for just anyone, Aubrey, you need to know that. I worried about you.” Kelly took hold of the door jamb with one hand and sighed, looking down at where he was toeing the floor with his boot. “I worried about you every damn day. I fuckin’ lost sleep over you, man. I'd get up sometimes to make sure you were still breathing.” Kelly looked up at Aubrey again but the hurt in his eyes was too much for Aubrey to take and he had to look away again. “I think about you all the time. Every time I muck a stall. Every time it rains. Every time I groom Guinevere. Damnit, Aubrey I ... I think I—"
"Stop!” Aubrey shouted so loudly that it rang in his own ears. Kelly looked up sharply, and Aubrey sighed before he went on. “Sorry. Just stop it, Kelly."
"Stop?” Kelly shifted from foot to foot, still standing in the doorway, but looking like he was going to start throwing the punches this time. Another gust of clean, fall air blew in from the dark night behind him. “Stop what exactly, Aubrey?” The emotion in Kelly's voice made Aubrey's throat tight. “Stop talking? Stop saying what I want to say? Stop giving a damn about you?” Kelly stalked farther into the room. “You don't care if it's true, you just don't want to know about it? Is that right?"
Aubrey was out of his chair again. “Just stop! Fucking stop it.” He walked over to Kelly and hooked his fingers behind the kid's neck. He stood there for a long moment searching Kelly's eyes and thinking hard about what he was about to say, but when Kelly lifted his head and leaned in for a kiss he knew that it was time to just say it. Aubrey stepped back abruptly and tried to pretend he didn't see the pain in Kelly's eyes.
"Here's the thing, kid. You just dropped into my life, right outta the sky, you know? And you made all the moves. I never made you any promises. I never said I'd be around next week or next year. I didn't want to—"
"Oh, I see.” Kelly interrupted angrily. “I've got you all wrong, is that it? You were just fuckin’ around, you don't care about me, nothin’ important happened in that loft at all? You talk like a tough ol’ coyote, cowboy, but I see your henhouse ways. I know you care about me. You're afraid to, but you do. You probably call it pride, I call it cowardice."
"I'm leavin’ town!” Aubrey barked at Kelly and then sighed as Kelly's eyes grew wide. Might be Kelly thought he knew what was going on. Might be he was right, too, but it didn't change facts. “Look, kid. Doesn't matter what you think you know or don't know about me. You've got yourself a good situation, a roof over your head, and steady work. I've got nothin’ but a bad reputation, a black eye, and some busted ribs. I'm leavin’ town."
Kelly stepped so close their bodies touched. “Like hell you are, cowboy,” he said softly.
"Like hell I'm not, kid.” Aubrey kept his tone even and stood his ground.
Kelly crossed his arms over his chest and stared at Aubrey for a long time. After a while it made Aubrey so uncomfortable he took a step back, looked down at the floor, and kicked at the edge of his throw rug. When he looked up again, Kelly was still staring at him. “So, cowboy.” The kid's voice was hoarse, his body was trembling, and Aubrey could feel how tightly wound the kid was. “Am I wasting my time here?"
Aubrey put every ounce of resolve he had left into his words and nodded slightly. “You're wasting your time, kid."
Kelly stared at him a little longer, probably giving Aubrey a moment or two to change his mind. He thought about it, he wanted to, but he needed to get clear of this place and leave this mess behind him. He needed to forget Chet and Ed and the barn, and Kelly was smack in the middle of all of it. He stood there silently, waiting for Kelly to go.
And go he did.
The kid shook his head before turning and heading back out through the open door. “Forget you,” Kelly muttered, and gave the door a shove behind him. Aubrey caught it before it slammed and as Kelly pulled away, Aubrey noted the kid was driving Haley's truck.
Chapter Twelve
The next morning was cold. Seemed like winter was coming on early this year. Aubrey had hot oatmeal and sausage links for breakfast and then spent the morning packing his truck with the few things he couldn't live without. He was tired and his side ached, but by noon he was ready to go and he didn't see the point in hanging around. On his way out of town he stopped by the bank, then drop
ped his key in the mail to his landlord, and hit the road.
To head due west, he didn't have any choice but to take county 21 out past Haley's farm to Interstate 231. He slowed down a little at a time until he was stopped at the end of the driveway and looking down toward the always-open iron gates. The best years of his life were on that farm, and so were his worst couple of minutes. With a sigh, he put his foot on the gas and drove on.
By late afternoon he'd settled on a northwest course toward Colorado. Clean mountain air sounded like exactly what he needed. He'd drive for three or four days and see where he ended up. The road was quiet and he felt alone, but not as lonely as he'd expected as he passed through one town after another. The weather was cooperative, which made the driving easy, and he turned up the radio loud, drumming his hands on the steering wheel as he sang along and tried to keep himself from thinking.
He soon found out, though, that thoughts were a man's only company when he was driving across the country alone. In his case they weren't good company, but they were impossible to silence completely and they kept on coming back to the same person. Kelly Ayers. There were men at the rest stops that had Kelly's hair or Kelly's build, they wore the same hat or were sitting just so, and every so often he'd hear someone say “cowboy” and his head would turn. There were even times he swore he could smell the kid's sweat and come in the cab of his truck like they'd only just fucked.
At the end of his third day of driving, Aubrey had slowed up a bit. He was getting tired of the road and found himself stopping more often for gas or grub and asking around to see if anyone knew of a ranch or a stable that was hiring. That night, as evening fell, he pulled into a truck stop off Highway 135 somewhere south of Salena, Kansas, got himself a room at the motel there, and took himself to the diner.
