I finished with a couple of flower heads, and made a few more brushes and a small amount of erasing in one of the grass sections I sketched, then decided to call it a day. Enough daydreaming about the man who had suddenly become the object of my desire. Seriously, since when did that happen? Why must everything sneak up on you?
Such fantasies…only fantasies. Putting them out of my head now. Reality here, Robin.
I got into my kayak, securing my sketchbook one last time to make sure it was intact, and paddled my way back to home shore.
Under different circumstances, sure. But this is reality. In reality the pregnant girl can fall in love with the co-worker who has a beautiful girlfriend. It is only in dreams, though, that the co-worker would reciprocate the feelings and fall in love with a woman and her fatherless baby. There are dreams, there is reality, and sadly the two don’t tell the same story.
***
“The fish is really good,” Sophie said, taking another bite of her fresh salmon, straight from the grill compliments of Chef Chad.
“And the chicken is amazing,” Lara said, enjoying the succulent lemon pepper chicken that I was also eating, again, compliments of Chef Chad.
“Hey, what can I say? I’m the master of the grill.”
Sophie rolled her eyes, then said, “Totally random subject, but guess what?” We all looked at her. What was the sudden news?
“Claire and I were talking today. And…” Sophie looked to Claire, who was seated right next to her around the enormous table by the pool. “…And we decided that it’s about time I get my own place.”
“Decided to kick her out,” Claire joked.
“No, it’s time. I’ve been living there for, what? Like three and half months or something? It’s time I pick up my feet and get going. Get myself my own place and get out of Claire and Conner’s hair.”
“You haven’t had a place of your own in forever,” Jackie said.
“Thanks for reminding me.” Sophie smiled slyly at her. Sophie hadn’t lived more than a few weeks in her own apartment right after college when she moved in with Brandon. And now she was with Claire.
“It’s finally time. Time I get on out of there and let Claire and Conner have their home back.”
“You know you’re always welcome,” Conner said.
“Yeah, and, you know,” Chad said, taking a hearty bite of chicken. “You’re always welcome to move in with me.”
Sophie only gave a snarling look.
“I’m serious, babe,” he said, taking yet another hearty bite as Conner started to roar with laughter. “My roomies wouldn’t mind. They’d love to shack up with you.” Sophie dropped her knife and fork, causing a loud clanging noise. “We’ve got plenty of room,” Chad added.
“You’re disgusting,” Sophie said, picking up her utensils.
Chad laughed and continued teasing. “Aw, come on, babe. You know my door is always open.”
“Stop it.”
Jackie was looking from Chad, to Sophie, to Chad…then she looked at me and sighed heavily.
All right then…
“I think it’s a great idea that Sophie goes and looks for a place of her own,” Lara said, trying to break up whatever it was that was going on at the table now. “While the offer is nice, Chad, I don’t think Sophie sees herself living on Lake Union. In a houseboat. With some guys.”
“Hey, the pad’s super comfy. Really sweet place. Lots of room. Got a kitchen so you can bake your little cakes.”
Sophie was about to say something most likely inappropriate and offensive, but Lara stopped her. “Nope. No houseboat for Sophie. Thank you, Chad. I think a nice apartment near work is probably what she’s thinking. Yeah? Somewhere in Belltown? They’ve got a lot of nice new apartments and condos going in over there.” Lara finally pulled Sophie’s attention in her direction, and she nodded in agreement.
“Well, like I said. My door’s always open,” Chad said, slinking down in his chair, satisfied with his meal…and with his usual round of teasing.
“As it always is,” Jackie said. She stood up, as did Sophie and Claire, and started to clear the table.
Chapter Fourteen
It’d been three weeks. Three whole long and somewhat excruciating weeks since I was supposed to have had my lunch “date” with Bobby. I was feeling under the weather when I woke up on the day we had lunch planned and couldn’t so much as drag myself out of bed to brush my teeth until after noon. I thought the worst of the morning sickness had passed with the onset of the second trimester. Lara thought it was the large amounts of food I’d had over the holiday at Chad’s, and the excessive amounts of sun were probably not in my favor.
Yet three weeks later and there was still no new “date” set with Bobby. In fact, he wasn’t acting his usual, somewhat flirtatious self with me. Don’t get me wrong; he was still very civil and nice—opening doors for me, bringing me forgotten copies on the copier, and saying the kosher “good morning” and “see you tomorrow.” But no more shared coffee (or tea) moments in the break room. No more checking to see if I wanted to join him and some of the gang for lunch. And no more random popping his head around the corner to say “hi” or to see if I needed a refill. Initially, I didn’t think my breaking off our lunch due to illness rubbed Bobby the wrong way. But after three weeks, when he still hadn’t even attempted to make new plans, I started to wonder if maybe Bobby was upset with me and thought I’d blown off our lunch on purpose.
I tried not to get too upset about it or work myself up into a tizzy thinking about the what-ifs. Lara told me to ride it out and keep cool on my end, as if there was nothing wrong, and to let Bobby do his own thing. After all, as she pointed out, he was only a co-worker with a girlfriend, and I only had a small office crush on him. No need to blow anything out of proportion or borrow trouble.
In the meantime, while my love life was pitiful, or rather, non-existent, Jackie had finally landed herself a man. It happened precisely as she had planned. She was working a late night shift at the jazz bar, and some swanky-looking, forty-something-and-single man walked in, asked her for the best seat in the house—asked her where she, the “lovely lady, would find herself seated on a fine night like this if she weren’t working.” (Really smooth.) Half an hour later he arranged with the manager on duty to let Jackie off her shift (which I’m sure cost a pretty penny). He then asked her to join him for drinks and oh, about two weeks later, Jackie was hauling her crap out of Emily’s apartment and into his swanky place in Downtown.
“It sounds like this guy’s more of a winner than the last one,” Lara said to me one night when we were rearranging my bedroom furniture. I’d sketched out a few more ideas for the setup of my bedroom for when I bought the baby’s stuff. I found the ideal, simple yet sleek crib and matching furniture while flipping through IKEA’s latest catalog. With the measurements squared away, I wanted to test out different arrangements of my bed and furniture.
“Jackie has never had a penchant for picking out winners. We all know that.” I tried to push as little weight as I could, but my bed was quite light, so Lara could easily manage the majority of the moving on her own. “Not that this guy really needs to be all that better than the last one in order to be ‘more of a winner.’”
“She says she’s happy. Even though she always says she’s happy.”
“That’s how it is at first,” I said. “She meets a guy. Her expectations are wild. He seems to fulfill them. Then he turns into a complete jackass. She’s lost without him. Starts drinking more when she’s all depressed. They fight, he leaves. Or they fight, she leaves. Somehow it always ends in disaster and heartbreak. Always a crap load of drama.”
Lara pushed the nightstand closer to the bed and said, “Same story. Let’s hope different results this time.”
“Oh, did you hear Sophie’s all moved in to her new place now?” I changed topics.
“Damn, that was quick.”
“Apparently she’d been looking at places for a while. Fou
nd just what she was looking for—in Belltown, I think it is—and she’s all moved in. And she’s planning on having a small housewarming party.”
“When’s that planned?” Lara asked. She sprawled out on my bed, looking exhausted, and stuffed a fluffy white pillow under her head.
“She didn’t say exactly. But she mentioned some time after she gets furniture. I suggested we do an IKEA run at the same time.” Lara’s eyes lit up. I knew she loved shopping at IKEA. And, who were any of us kidding? We all loved shopping there.
“That’s a great idea!”
“That way I can get some of the baby furniture then, too,” I said. “We were thinking this weekend maybe?”
My cell phone started to ring. After I searched around the fairly messy bedroom, I hastily answered the call without even glancing at the caller ID.
“Robin, is this an okay time?” It was my sister Kaitlyn.
“Uh…sure. Hey, Kaitlyn. What’s up?” Lara got up at the sound of the name Kaitlyn, as she knew the chances of my sister randomly calling me was slim to none, so it must have been serious. She closed my bedroom door behind her.
“You feeling all right?” Kaitlyn asked me.
Why are you calling? This is peculiar…
“Of course I’m feeling all right. Why wouldn’t I be fee—”
Ah hah. Mom must have tipped her off about the pregnancy.
“I’m feeling great, actually,” I said. “So mom told you the big news, am I right?”
She confirmed, saying that she wished I had called her too.
“Don’t get me wrong, Kaitlyn, but it’s not like we’re all that close. We’re not exactly the best of friends. Or close siblings…” I didn’t mean for my words to sound as callous as they may have come off. “I mean, I had a hard enough time telling mom. And finally emailing dad. I honestly didn’t think of calling the whole family—mom, dad, sister, brother, aunts, uncles—”
“Don’t be silly,” Kaitlyn said. “I’m your sister. Of course I’d want to know. We may not exactly be close, but I still want to know.”
I didn’t know what to say. Then came one of those awkward silences that I’d experienced more than a few times with Kaitlyn.
“Anyway, that’s neither here nor there,” she finally said, her voice sounding chipper. “So do tell. How far along are you? What are you having? When’s the due date?”
“I take it mom didn’t fill you in on much?”
“Well, she told me that the father is some random guy who’s not in the picture. But I don’t think you really want to talk about that.”
I sighed. “Yeah, not exactly.”
“So, do tell me—the due date, the first ultrasound. You’ve had that, right?”
Once we’d gotten beyond the initial uneasiness of the call—the fact that we hadn’t spoken in more than half a year—we carried on in a way we hadn’t since I was, well…in high school. Kaitlyn’s mood was cheerful and welcoming. I could hear that she was actually interested in my life and had a genuine care for me and her soon-to-be niece or nephew.
Perhaps Kaitlyn could understand where I was coming from with the newly pregnant thing and all. She herself had two young children and could relate to the ups and downs of becoming a new mom. One day you feel great in your skin, then next not so hot. And then the worries about being a good parent and a good enough caretaker for your baby…whether you’ll be able to give it everything it needs and everything you want to provide for it…
“You’ll make an outstanding mom, Robin,” she said sweetly after nearly two hours of conversing. “There’s no doubt about it. You’re going to be a super mom!”
“Hey, uh, Kaitlyn. You think you want to come to the baby shower?” It was worth asking. We’d been getting along so well on the phone, and I was comforted by the fact that at least someone in my family seemed to care about me and my baby.
“I’d love to,” she said, sounding taken by surprise. “I would absolutely love to make it. Well, I guess I should let you go. You need to get your rest now that you’ve got the little one on the way. Congratulations again, Robin.”
“Thanks, Kaitlyn. You have a good night yourself. I’ll get in touch with you about the shower as it nears.”
“Yeah, and keep in touch. You know, call me anytime. I’m here for you.”
I smiled. I don’t think I’d ever heard those words from my big sister before, not even when we were speaking more regularly than twice a year.
I went to bed that night feeling so good about the unexpected reconnection I’d made with my sister. And the girls’ words kept resounding in my head: You’re not alone, Robin. You are not alone.
That weekend, the girls and I, minus Jackie, who was out of town with her new boy toy, made a trip to IKEA, with plans to meet up with Chad and Conner afterward so they could haul off the hoards of furniture that Sophie and I would no doubt be buying. I felt as if I’d cleaned out the store, although that’s impossible; I did have nearly everything an expecting mother could imagine she might need. The all-white and very simple yet adorable crib that I wanted was in stock, so I added that to my list of purchases, as well as a dresser, a diaper changing station, a relatively small but storage-laden wardrobe, and some shelving units.
Sophie purchased more items than I did. She was shopping for everything from bedroom furniture to a dining set. And both of our carts were stuffed with every sort of knickknack imaginable—vases, candles, picture frames and poster boards, toss pillows, small rugs, and of course a variety of baby toys and decorative items—all very colorful and gender neutral. I was elated that I could possibly find out if I was having a boy or a girl in only a few days! Yet, though I was still unsure of the baby’s sex and would know soon enough, nothing could keep me from shopping with my friends.
“You girls really outdid yourselves this time,” Conner said, securing the various boxes into the back of his truck.
“Who’s going to build all this stuff?” Chad asked, running a hand through his sun-bleached, ever so slightly greasy hair. He then rubbed at his face, which was covered in at least two or three day’s worth of stubble. “There’s a ton of crap here.”
Sophie pointed to the both of the guys and said, “Here’s fifty bucks.” She handed Conner the cash. “Go buy yourself some lunch and take my stuff to my place pretty please.” She tossed Conner her keys and quickly told them how to get to her new apartment. “And help yourself to whatever you want in the fridge. There’s a fresh batch of homemade cream puffs in there. All yours if you boys don’t mind dropping off these boxes. Maybe doing a little building.” She exaggeratedly batted her eyes, oddly enough at Conner, not Chad. Although Sophie probably wouldn’t dream of provoking Chad. Not after his relentless teasing her over the holiday.
“Score!” Conner said. He hopped in his truck after giving Claire a kiss goodbye, after which she complained he was too close for comfort—too sweaty, dirty, and in dire need of a shave.
“Have at it, boys,” Claire said, wiping Conner’s sweat from her cheek.
“Let’s go, Chad!” Conner said excitedly. “We’ll drop your stuff off at your place, Robin. Then we’re going to Sophie’s.”
Claire rolled her eyes at us. “Any time Conner gets to build something and pretend he’s frickin’ Tim the Toolman Taylor he’s all over it like white on rice. You’re in luck, Sophie.”
The boys peeled out of the warehouse garage, and we proceeded to our cars.
“You don’t want to make sure they don’t screw things up?” I asked Sophie, as she jumped into my car with me; Claire rode off with Lara.
“Oh, please. And pass up on the opportunity to help you build the baby furniture? I’d much rather help you out. And I’d never pass on some girl time.”
***
“Claire, I honestly don’t think that piece goes there,” Lara said. She was becoming agitated and started to read over the tri-fold instruction sheet for the diaper changing station for the third time. “Look at the diagram. You’re doing it
all wrong.”
Claire heaved a sigh and roughly laid down the Allen wrench. “Then you try it. One of you is telling me one thing, the other another. I’ve never built a damn diaper changing station before.”
Sophie picked up the wrench and had a go at one of the legs. Lara warned that she, too, was doing it incorrectly.
“I know what I’m doing,” Sophie said. “It’s common sense. Any idiot can figure it out.”
“Hey, thanks a lot!” Claire crossed her arms and pouted like a child.
“Oh, quit it.” Sophie twisted tightly at the leg. I suddenly imagined the shiny white leg splintering in all directions, then cracking right in half.
“Stop, stop!” Lara said, putting her hand over Sophie’s. “That’s not how you’re supposed to do it.”
“Talk about common sense,” Claire said, sticking out her tongue. Sophie stuck hers right back out at her.
“Girls,” I said, leaning against my bed. “We should really make sure we’re going about this the right way. After all, this is a diaper changing station. I am going to be laying my baby on it. I really don’t want this thing to come crashing down.”
“I don’t think we should have sent the boys to your place, Sophie,” Claire said. “We need them here.”
“We don’t need the boys’ help with this.” I ripped the instruction sheet from Lara’s hands. “We’re four intelligent and educated women. I’m sure we can handle this on our own.”
“There’s so much crap in here,” Lara muttered. “You bought way too much, Robin. There’s no way this will all fit.”
I tossed the instruction sheet aside and gruffly responded, “What the hell am I supposed to do?”
Sophie’s and Claire’s eyes widened. Lara and I didn’t argue often, but between my hormones and her sudden life change, with a new roommate and a second soon on the way, the two of us had it coming at some point.
When Girlfriends Step Up Page 16
