by Ciara Graves
“I know, you’re just really warm.”
“Then stay a bit longer.”
I sighed and pushed back from him. “Can’t, but I’ll be back as soon as I can. You sure you’ll be alright here?”
“I’ll be fine. Go do what you have to do. I’ll see what I can dig up.”
He took his bowl of coffee and returned to the couch, leaving me to get my boots on and gear up. My chat with Damian was not going to be easy and the whole ride to the office, I went over the story I made up to explain where I went the past week. With any luck, he’d buy it and leave me alone. I parked the bike and went inside.
“Honey, I’m home,” I called out then hopped up on the front desk.
Damian emerged a few seconds later, marched around, and looked at me, arms crossed. “Well?” His eyes widened, and his arms fell to his sides on his next breath. “You look like you were thrown into a wall. What did you do?”
“Got in a bar fight.”
His lips thinned. “A bar fight, that’s the best you can do? Where have you been for the past week?”
“Out.”
“Out? That’s all you’re going to tell me? That you’ve been out. And you come back looking like that.”
I shrugged. “Not much else to tell really. So yeah, I was out. Picked a few fights, got my ass kicked, did some ass kicking. Are we done here? Do you have a new bounty for me? If I’m not, I’m going home.”
“You didn’t answer your phone for a week, and you weren’t at your place.”
“I got your messages.”
“And you replied back with a single word. Fine. Everything is suddenly just fine with you.” He stormed toward me, making it impossible for me to get away from him. “You’re up to something, and you’re going to tell me before you get your ass into more trouble again.”
“For the record,” I muttered, “the werewolf issue was not my fault.”
“Mercy, just talk to me, damn it. I promised your mother I’d protect you and I can’t do that if you’re off god knows where, doing I don’t know what. You never had a rebellious phase. Is that happening now? Are you regressing? Deciding recklessness is better than keeping yourself alive?” His face turned a darker shade of red with every question.
I shoved him hard enough to send him staggering backward. “I went home, alright.”
“Home. You weren’t home.”
“Not my apartment,” I snapped, hoping my anger would help me sell the lie. “I went back to what was left of my home. Where my parents were killed.”
His face softened immediately, and he stepped further away. “Why didn’t you just tell me?”
“Would you have let me go?”
“No,” he said and ran a hand down his face. “No, because I wouldn’t want you back there ever again. It was a dark night for you.”
“Yeah, it was, but after learning the truth I just… I felt pulled to it.”
“And now?”
“Now, I know all that’s left is a burnt-out shell of where a house used to be.” Honestly, I never felt the urge to return home. I’d lost so much that night. All going there would do was bring up bad memories I endured enough without seeing the place where it all started. I waited for Damian to call me out on my bullshit.
Instead, he nodded and went back around the counter.
“We good then?”
“Yeah, do me a favor though? Don’t shut yourself off from me or Bowen. We lied to you, and I get that you’re ticked off about it, but shoving us all away isn’t the solution.”
“I know. I already made up with Bowen. I guess you and I just did the same.”
“Good. If I get a new bounty for you, I’ll let you know. Until then, rest for a bit for once. That’s an order from your boss.”
I saluted him.
He rolled his eyes.
“Whatever you say, boss man.”
Once outside, I let out a huge sigh of relief that I’d been able to successfully lie to him. Damian was getting soft on me, now that I knew the truth. It would come back to bite him in the ass eventually, but for now, his being soft and not questioning me was exactly what I needed.
He would not want me going after this mage or finding out what Shuval was doing with the Blood Moon. And then there was the whole Sector 1462 crap. If anyone in this city knew about sectors that shouldn’t exist it was probably Damian, but as soon as he got involved, I’d be benched.
Bad enough I broke Rufus out of his cell.
Word would spread eventually, and Damian would come to me asking questions.
I was surprised it hadn’t made the evening news yet. Then again, the goblins probably wanted to keep it hush-hush that a known cannibal was on the loose. When they did decide to let the world know, they’d be coming to me with the bounty again, wanting me to bring Rufus in.
Wouldn’t that be fun, pretending I had no idea where Rufus was. At least, while he was with me, he wasn’t eating kids. He knew I’d kill him for returning to that behavior. Hunting the mage be damned. I’d kill Rufus if he went back to his old ways.
For now, all I had to do was keep Damian away from my apartment and in the dark about Rufus and I working together.
Wouldn’t be that hard to do, right?
By the time I got back to my apartment, takeout in hand. A meal, so Rafael and I had something to eat, I found him sitting on the floor in front of the coffee table, brow furiously furrowed and the pages scattered around him on the floor.
“Don’t strain yourself over there,” I teased as I set the food on the kitchen table.
He grunted in reply, getting up off the floor. “I hope your morning went better than mine.”
“Guess it did. No luck?”
“None. There’s no mention anywhere on the web about the Blood Moon, at least nothing legit. Bunch of crap from humans pretending to be witches and what not.” He sniffed as he joined me at the table. “That smells delicious.”
“Figured you could use a pick me up by now. I don’t exactly have any food here.”
“Coffee is all that matters sometimes.”
I smiled. That was something I told myself every time either Damian or Gigi got onto me for not having any food in my place. Half the time I wasn’t here so what was the point in keeping it around. I unpacked the small cartons. Food from the local diner, run by fairies who knew how to make the best milkshakes in the city. I had two of those in a carry out tray and offered one to Rafael.
“Figured a burger and fries would suffice.”
“That’ll do,” he agreed.
We sat down at the table and dug in. He told me he couldn’t find any mention of that ritual circle we could only see half of on the back of one of the pages.
“Honestly, didn’t expect you to find anything. Those pages came from a very old tome from the house of a mage. A dead mage now. There is a language on them I can’t make out, though. Not sure if you would know or not.”
“Can always give it a look and find out. Didn’t see any words on those pages though.”
“There’s a trick to it. I’ll show you when we’re done eating.” I nibbled at my fries and drank some of my milkshake, but my appetite wasn’t there. Guilt over having told more lies to yet another person who cared about me tore me up until I gave up on eating anything at all and pushed my food aside.
“Want to talk about it?”
“Nothing to talk about.”
“Liar,” he replied sounding so sure of himself I wondered for a second how much Rafael could see through my bullshit. Was this the real him showing through or the unburdened side of him? “I can see it in your eyes something’s bothering you. Talk to me.”
Why shouldn’t I talk to him? He wasn’t going to remember any of this anyway. “I’ve gotten myself into a mess, and every time I tell myself I’m going to find a way out of it, I only get myself in deeper.”
“You talking about the mage we’re going after?”
“Amongst other things.” I got up and walked to the window
s, looking out over the city. “Can I ask you something?”
“Sure, not sure I’ll know the answer but do my best.” He’d gotten up and stood a few feet away, that easy smile on his face, his hands shoved in his pockets.
That beard of his was really growing on me, too.
“Mercy?”
“Why did you come with me yesterday?”
“You know who I am,” he replied slowly. “No one else seemed to, and I had no phone, no way to contact anyone else.”
“I realize that, but if you have no memory… how could you trust me?”
“Should I not trust you?”
“No, I mean you can, and there’s no reason for you not to, but you technically don’t know me.”
His smile grew, and those damned dark brown eyes glimmered as he joined me at the windows, took my hand easily, and exhaled. “Whatever I do know is telling me that whatever we’ve been through since meeting is why I can trust you.” His cheeks reddened a bit as he seemed to have a hard time getting the next sentence out. “I’m pretty sure before I lost my memory I liked you.”
God, he was straightforward like this. That was new, too. “That’s good because I like you, too.”
He gave me a crooked grin as he said with a light laugh, “That’s good to hear.”
“Is it? I’ve got so much I want to tell you, but I’m worried if I do then all of this would have been a dream about a life I can’t have.”
“Says who?”
“Says logic.” I could lie to Damian, or Bowen or Gigi, but lying to Rafael was tearing me up. “Rafael, I have to tell you—”
A knock came at the door.
“Damn it.” I frowned.
The sun was still up so it shouldn’t be Bowen, but storm clouds had moved in. So maybe?
Vampires didn’t sleep during the day, at least not the entire day. He must’ve been tired of waiting around, and once the storm rolled in, he headed out.
I told Rafael to stay out of sight. Until we knew for certain he took that potion willingly, I was going to be protective of him. Any number of supes could take issue with a Fed who put away a friend or a relative.
I crept to the door, hand reaching for my holstered weapon. At the door, I put my eye to the hole and relaxed when I saw Bowen.
“Safe,” I told Rafael then unlocked the front door. “You’re ungodly early.”
Bowen blurred inside. “I don’t like wasting time, and you have a lot to tell me. You remember anything?” he added to Rafael.
“Nothing yet, sorry.”
“Find anything out in the Underground?” I asked.
“The Fed was spotted heading toward Fallen Lane, but other than that, no one is fessing up to seeing where he went once there.”
“What’s down that road?” Rafael asked worriedly.
“A few witches’ shops. A warlock who specializes in foodstuffs. A bookstore or two. Nothing incredibly exciting or dangerous. There’s a chance you went to the witches’ shops.”
“Did you have time to check them out?”
He nodded to me. “I did. One said she would never have anything to do with a Fed and the other is currently on a month-long vacation. No idea when she left town. It could be her, could not be. No way to know until she returns.”
A month. Rafael could be like this for a month. I know his boss told him to take some vacation, so that had to be the only reason why no one was checking in on him. Eventually, though his partner would come looking and what happened when she couldn’t find him? There’d be a search put out for him. They’d think he was taken. Or worse, killed. If his memory didn’t come back in a few days, I’d have to take him to Chief Nor. Then what? Would he tell his boss what we’d been up to these last few days? The hunt for a mage? Rufus? All of it? My being dragonborn? I knew I should never have gotten him involved.
“Mercy,” Rafael said, standing right in front of me.
I’d been so lost in thought, I hadn’t even seen him move.
“Whatever you’re thinking, I’m not about to back away from helping you now.”
“You don’t get it. You’re a Fed. Someone’s going to wonder where you are.”
“I don’t see the problem.”
“What I’m getting you into…” I grimaced. “Let’s just say your boss might have issues with it.”
Bowen hissed at my words.
I ignored him. “If you come with me for whatever happens next, I’ll be putting you in a very difficult position, and I don’t want to do that to you.” Again. I should’ve said again, but he didn’t remember, and I didn’t feel like explaining it all.
He seemed to mull over my words for a couple of minutes. “Something tells me we’ve been in this predicament before and I stuck with you, right?”
“Yeah.”
“Then I’m sticking with you again. I can’t sit around your apartment while you go off hunting for this mage. And don’t bother trying to lie and say he isn’t dangerous.”
I swallowed back those exact words.
He shook his head. “I’m coming with you.”
“And if it takes longer than days? Weeks? What if it stretches into a month?” Please don’t let it take a month for me to get more answers.
“Why aren’t they worried now?” he countered. “My boss and my partner.”
“Not sure. Sounded like your boss wanted you to take time off. At least that’s what you told me the last time I saw you before this. He could simply think that’s what you did, but I have no way of knowing what you told him before you lost your memory.”
“Then why don’t I check in with whoever I’m supposed to check in with, let them know I’m fine, and call it a day?”
“You don’t have your phone.”
He glanced around then smiled. “I’m assuming you know where I live?”
“I do, I know where you work, too.”
“Then let’s swing by my place and see if my cell’s there. I can call whoever I need to, and we’ll be fine. No one will come looking for me, and I can help you find this mage no matter how long it takes.”
I opened my mouth, shut it, then opened it again, but no argument came to mind.
It was actually a damned good idea. It would give us time to find this mage using Damian’s help. And with any luck by the time we found the mage, the witch would be back in town, and she could help us get Rafael’s memory back if it didn’t return on its own. I wanted to be there when she did to let her know she should probably not let him remember anything that occurred since the loss.
An ache started in my chest, and I rubbed at it absently. He wouldn’t remember those few moments we’d shared so far. It would hurt, but I’d store them away with the dream I had of us and let them all just be that. Dreams.
“Deal. Let’s get going to your place then.”
“We’re not leaving here until you tell me what you’re up to,” Bowen argued.
“About that, I can’t do it here. Do you want the whole truth? Tag along. I guarantee you’ll know everything by tonight.”
“I better. Or we’re going to have more than words,” Bowen warned.
I gathered the rest of my gear as well as the pages.
Rafael asked, “Are we going to talk still?”
“Don’t worry. It’ll all come out tonight.” I sighed. “All of it. Whether I want it to or not.”
“If you’re worried about me, don’t be. I can handle myself.”
“I know, I’ve seen it. But Rafael, you and I are still figuring out who we are and what that means for us together,” I said quietly, not wanting Bowen to overhear. “And you’re different than you were before. I’m worried that the second you get your memory back…” I didn’t want to say it, only because I didn’t want it to be true.
He smiled and tucked a stray strand of hair behind my ear. “Nothing will change.”
“Yeah, somehow I doubt that.”
“You think I could hate you?”
I shook my head, told him we should get goi
ng, and left it at that.
He wouldn’t just hate me, he would never trust me again.
I’d lied to him about Liam, about Todd, about who I really was, about everything since he met me.
I wouldn’t even trust me again.
Until his memory came back, I’d enjoy my time with Rafael.
Afterward, I might be moving my ass to another city to get away from the hate he’d be sending my way.
Chapter 9
Mercy
“Mercy, where are we going?” Bowen asked as we wandered down the darkest road in the Underground.
“Just shut up and keep walking. We’re almost there.”
We’d already swung by Rafael’s place and found his cell. There were a few missed calls, but I only had him return one to Nor. He did a damned good job of sounding like he hadn’t lost his memory. He told him he was taking him up on his offer and was dropping off the grid for a week or two and he’d touch base with him soon enough. His boss had seemed happy with his decision, and that was that. He turned his cell off afterward, shoved it in his pocket, and we set out for the Underground.
“This is not a nice place,” Bowen hissed.
“Not like we’re going to see a very nice person, but you already knew that,” I threw over my shoulder.
Bowen gave me a confused look.
He’d get his answers soon enough.
Rufus’s hideaway was in the Underground, which should’ve been too obvious, but getting to his place took us through the most crime-ridden streets where most weren’t stupid enough to venture. All except us, of course.
His tiny home was on the top floor of a ramshackle building that looked like it could be shoved over by a single person. The floor and walls had holes in them. There was no heat except for a wood burning stove. I wondered how the place hadn’t gone up in flames yet. The steps leading up to his front door were shaky, and a few were missing. “Watch your step.”
I led the way up and banged on the front door. I’d texted Rufus to let him know I was bringing company. An old friend and a new one. He hadn’t replied, but he usually didn’t.
The bolts on the inside slid back, and the door opened, the gob himself keeping out of sight.
