She pushed him farther back so she could meet his gaze. “How many women have you had sex with in this shower?”
Humor sparked his eyes. A boyish grin lifted his mouth. He shifted his gaze away and lifted a shoulder. “You want a number?”
She pursed her lips. His hand still rested on her ass, gently moving over her skin.
“That many?” She hadn’t expected to be the first. But she had hoped not to have been the hundredth.
All traces of teasing left his face. His eyes darkened. His jaw worked as if weighing his words. “I’ve never brought a woman here before. Only you.” His voice was rough, barely above a whisper.
Her pulse stopped and started. The buzz ebbed away, and blood thundered through her ears. Her heart expanded in her chest. She took a deep breath through her nose. He wasn’t professing his love. He was only saying she was different from the rest. But that was enough. She circled her hand around his neck and pulled his mouth back down to hers.
She let her hands roam his body, down, down, down, until she found his hard shaft. Her hand closed around him, circling him. She moved her hand, tightening, pulling, until his shoulders bunched. He crushed his mouth to hers, and a tremor shivered through him.
His hand snagged her wrist, stopping her. He dropped his forehead to hers, breaking the seal of their mouths. He spoke in a pant. “Slow down, babe.”
She shook her head. “I want you.” Slowly she lowered to her knees. Cal turned so the water was full-force on his back, blocking the spray from hitting her. Her hand moved again. At this angle, she could see every hard-worked line of his body. His thighs were stacked with muscle, his abs rock-hard. With her free hand, she toyed with his stomach muscles, admiring how they rippled. Then slowly, she took him into her mouth.
One of his hands grasped the back of her head, and the other grasped the wall, steadying him. “Jesus Christ,” he breathed.
She smiled as she worked her tongue over him. His body jerked. He pulled himself away and helped her to her feet. “If you keep doing that, this is going to end very fast.”
She giggled. “You like that?”
He turned her in his arms so her back rested against his front, the warm spray raining down over her body. “Hell, yeah,” he mumbled against her ear, “but now it’s your turn.”
A quake ran through her. She sucked in her breath. His member throbbed against her tailbone, matching the pulsating need inside her. He unhooked her bra and peeled the wet material down her arms. It dropped to the wet tiles at their feet. He picked up the bar of soap from the dish and lathered his hands.
“Relax, Lana.”
She rested her head back against his chest, water cascading over them. His soapy hands caressed her belly, leaving bubbles in their wake. He brought his palms to her breasts, cupping them. His thumbs moved back and forth over her nipples until they turned to hard nubs, demanding his attention. He opened his mouth on her throat, his tongue flicking over her skin. Her back arched, pressing her backside into his groin. A low growl sounded in his throat.
She kept her gaze on his hands as he moved over her, his fingers drifting down until they reached her panties. He pushed his fingers inside and worked them down over her legs.
“Mmm…much better.”
Her body vibrated, waiting for his touch. He lathered his hands again and brought them back to her belly. The rough callouses of his palms softened by the soap bubbles, his hands glided over her skin effortlessly, from her nipples to the throbbing nub between her legs, then around to squeeze her ass.
Her breath came out in sharp, harsh rasps, and she panted with every stroke of his fingers. Her loins clenched and tightened, needing more.
“Cal, now, please.” She turned in his arms, needing him inside her like she needed her next breath. He eased her back against the cool tiled wall. Steam swirled around them, dancing between their naked bodies. His eyes drank her in from head to toe. Her soaked hair stuck to her chest and back, and her skin glistened with moisture. A hard look came to his eyes. His carnal, masculine lust singed through her. He dropped to his knees in front of her, and his hands circled her waist as he brought one taut nipple at a time into his mouth. His tongue was rough and warm as he worked it over her nipple. Her head fell back against the wall, and her breath strangled in her throat. Just when she thought she would burst, he nudged her knees apart.
Her legs shook as she complied. He rested her hand on his head to help her steady herself. Her other hand clutched the soap dish as he trailed kisses from her breasts over her taut belly. The bristles of his beard rasped over her delicate flesh, and his tongue followed, soothing her. His mouth closed over her sex, hot and wet. She cried out. Electric currents shot fire through her veins.
“Cal,” she breathed.
His thumbs spread her folds, gaining him access. When the tip of his tongue slipped inside her, a moan croaked from her throat. The world tilted on its axis as the steam spun around her. Her legs trembled on each wave of pleasure that washed over her. She arched her back, wanting more. He licked lazily until she cried out on each level of ecstasy. His mouth closed over her, savoring every pulse, gently coaxing with his tongue until her body convulsed on the surge of her orgasm.
Her body turned to mush. She drifted toward the floor until Cal caught her in the safety of his arms. With her legs drawn over his forearm, and her head resting on his shoulder, she closed her eyes. He turned her so the water washed over her body, insulating the warmth and bliss from her climax.
“You okay?” She opened her heavy eyelids. His mischievous grin, the one that made her tummy do flip-flops, greeted her.
“Oh God, yeah.”
He laughed. “Let’s finish this in the bed.” He lowered her to her feet and reached for the towels on the hook, keeping a strong arm around her waist. She pulled the towel tightly around her body as Cal dried off with his own.
Once she exited the shower, she snagged another towel for her hair. She walked on shaky legs to sit at the edge of the bed and dry her wet strands. No way in hell could she stand any longer without falling over. An image caught her eye on the TV. She froze. Her breath caught. She grabbed the remote and turned the volume up, her finger branded on the button. Her blood turned cold.
“We’re begging the public to please help in the search for our daughter. Lana, honey, if you’re listening, I love you. Please come home.” Her dad’s voice broke on a sob. Her mom stood next to him, Grace on the other side, and Tanner next to her. Tears ran down her mother’s cheeks. Her heart crumbled in her chest. Cal stood in the doorway, his eyes fixed on the TV. Tears burned her eyes, and he rushed to her side and pulled her in his arms. She buried her face in his chest.
“I have to let them know I’m okay, Cal.” Tears leaked out of the corners of her eyes. Guilt formed an iron fist in her stomach.
He smoothed her hair back. “We will. I promise, baby.”
Chapter 19
Damn, he was stupid. Lana’s family—the ones who weren’t involved in this—were crushed. He didn’t have kids, but the thought of having a child go missing made his stomach churn. He pulled Lana closer to his chest. She wasn’t asleep. Her hand knotted in a fist against his sternum, her breath erratic.
He was stuck between a rock and a hard place. As Ethan had said, they needed to tread carefully. Until they had evidence, it would be a huge risk approaching Tanner. Will’s death complicated things even more. He’d informed Nate the minute they’d gotten in, and he had called in the murder. Someone had killed Will to keep him quiet. Tanner was the only plausible suspect. Nate had assured him that the FBI was investigating the man, but they hadn’t brought him in for questioning yet. Cal wanted to talk to him first. He trusted Nate more than anyone, but Tanner had avoided conviction before. One thing was for sure, the law couldn’t keep Cal from beating the truth out of him.
Tomorrow, he and Ethan would pay Tanner a vi
sit.
“This feels like it’s never going to end.” She spoke slowly, her voice distant. He tightened his hold on her shoulders and pressed a kiss to her hair, inhaling her scent. Fuck, he hated that she was scared. Hated even more that she was hurting.
“It will. Very soon.”
Her leg slid over his knee and up his bare thigh. Her silky satin skin was chilled.
“I feel so terrible.” Her hand opened and closed on his chest, and a tear hit his shoulder and rolled down. She was crying. His throat constricted. He covered her hand with his.
“Please don’t cry, baby. Everything’s going to be okay. I promise.”
“I’m not crying.” Her voice hardened. Then she sniffled, completely undoing him. His heart expanded. He rested his cheek against her forehead.
“I love that you trust me with your body, babe. But you can trust me with your heart too.”
A delicate shoulder rose and fell. His jaw worked. She was hurting, but she couldn’t let go with him. He loved her strength and her ferocious independence, but why couldn’t she let her guard down with him?
A pit formed in his stomach like a toxic black hole. It wasn’t her fault. It was his. He’d kept her at arm’s length, then turned around and had sex with her against the wall. How confusing was that? He’d warned her that he couldn’t offer commitment, and he was now affronted that she’d only shared her body and not her heart. He shifted under her, then lifted her to lie across his chest. She pushed up on her arms to look down at him. Big, blue tear-rimmed eyes stared at him. The ends of her damp hair tickled his side. He scooped her hair back and over her shoulder. Her small pink tongue jutted out to wet her lips, still rosy from his kisses.
She shifted on him so her knees straddled either side of his hips.
“What are you thinking, babe?”
Her teeth pierced her bottom lip, and her gaze dropped to his chest, giving him an expansive view of her dark eyelashes against her porcelain skin.
“Can I ask you something?” Her voice was soft, tentative, her eyes still downcast.
“Of course.”
Her finger smoothed over the shiny scar on his chest, beneath his shoulder. The one he’d seen her spot at the cabin.
“How did you get this?”
This was the ugly reality of his life. The danger. The shaky fear that rattled her voice was something that she’d always have if she was a part of his life. He couldn’t lie to her.
“It’s a bullet wound.” His finger came up to touch the uneven skin, remembering the day. Had the bullet hit the opposite side of his chest, he’d have died instantly.
Her eyes met his, round and doubtful. “From the military?”
He shook his head.
“What happened?”
He tucked her hair behind her ear, then pinned his arm beneath his head so he could see her better. “Nate and I had been on a mission in Mexico. There was this organized ring of sex traffickers—a huge one. We went undercover and busted the operation.” He took a deep breath, remembering the horrible day. “When the shit hit the fan and the FBI came charging in, the leader of the sex traffic ring and his group started firing. I was undercover, and one of the bastards shot me in the chest when they realized they’d been set up. We didn’t get all the girls out in time. Three died.”
Her eyes widened, and her face fell. She covered her mouth with her hand. “That’s terrible.”
He nodded. “It was terrible. That was one of the hardest moments of my career.” He pushed the sordid memory from his mind. “We saved one hundred twenty-four young women and teens that day.”
“That’s incredible.”
“It was. But that’s one of the reasons I continue to do what I do. There are always situations like that, that I could prevent.”
“You’re a hero.”
He smirked. “Hardly.” He wouldn’t tell her about the men he’d shot that night. How his anger had been so hot and violent that Nate had had to pull him back. Maybe another day he would share that with her.
“What else is on your mind?”
Her eyes wandered up to his exposed arm. “Your tattoos.”
His eyes followed her gaze to his arm. He lowered it so she could see better. “These?”
“Yeah. What do they mean?” Her finger trailed the outline of the block lettering.
“It says ‘always vigilant,’ but the lettering is very unique. It’s difficult to read.”
The corner of her mouth tucked in. “‘Always vigilant’? Why do you have that?”
He rested his arm back under his head. “It’s a reminder for me to always be cautious and wary.” He picked up a lock of her wet hair and wrapped it around his finger. “But also to withhold judgment whenever possible. That’s a tough one to do.”
Her eyes sparked with mischief. “I’ll say. You judged me.”
He opened his mouth to protest, then shut it. “You’re right, I did. But mostly because I was stubborn and didn’t want to admit how badly I had it.”
She laughed. Her chin rested on her hands on his chest. Her eyes bore into his. “Do you still have it bad?”
“Hell, I have it worse now.”
Her lips lifted into a gentle smile. “Good.” Her eyes lowered to stare at his throat.
“Besides my scar and tattoos, there’s something else making your wheels turn. C’mon, out with it.”
Her eyes shifted, her lips rolled in. “You read me so well.”
“I hate to break it to you, but you’re an open book.”
She didn’t react to his comment. Her eyes stayed focused on his throat. “While my family was mourning my disappearance, I’ve been here, perfectly fine, having sex against walls and in showers.” Her eyes dragged up to his, fiery orbs that torched him. God help him, all he’d heard in that confession was the part about the sex. Images flashed through his mind—the memory of her tight, warm body around his cock filled his head. He throbbed with the need for release. He would resist if it killed him. No way would he suggest they finish when she was feeling like this.
“Technically, we didn’t have sex in the shower. But I’m not sure that makes you feel any better.”
She didn’t smile as he’d hoped. “I feel guilty,” she continued, “for so blatantly ignoring what they’ve been going through.”
“Lana, you’ve been through—”
“Shhh.” She pressed her finger to his lips. “Aside from that, I don’t regret it. I did all of that with you because I wanted to.” Her eyes dropped again, and her finger left his lips to absently stroke the bristles he still hadn’t had time to shave.
“I wanted to because it feels right with you, Cal. I don’t expect anything. I know we can’t be together, I get that—”
“Shhh.” He silenced her with his index finger, mimicking her gesture. He couldn’t take it anymore. The charade was up. He’d been fooling himself from the moment he’d laid eyes on her.
“I’ve been lying to you, Lana. And to myself.” He stroked his finger over her cupid’s bow, then down to the bottom lip she kept abusing. “What we have is different. It was wrong of me to tell you we could never have a relationship. Fuck, babe. I don’t want to bring you into the danger of my life”—he cupped her satiny cheek—“but I can’t imagine going back to what life was like without you.” His lungs burned with the words he needed to say. He couldn’t let her think she meant nothing to him and that he could just walk away after this. “We’ll figure this out.”
Her lips parted, and her breath sucked in through her lips. Tears glimmered in her lashes, and a shy smile revealed her even, white teeth. Relief let go like a dam breaking inside him. He cupped the back of her head and brought her lips to his. Her mouth moved over his, her tongue caressing his, mixing with her wetness.
“I can live with that.” She laughed.
He hadn’t plann
ed on this. A relationship, he had thought, would never be in the cards for him. But he would make it work with Lana, or die trying. That was the difference between her and every other relationship. He had the desire—no, the need—to make it work with her, whatever the cost. The further Lana moved into his heart, the further the devotion to his career moved out. It was time to settle down, to bring some joy into his life…to let someone—her—in. Images of the holidays flashed through his mind. No more lonely days spent drinking or going off on missions while others were at home, gathered with their families. He could have all that now.
He smoothed his thumb over her cheek. She dipped her head and turned her face into his hand, taking his index finger into her mouth.
Every muscle in his body tensed.
Her blue eyes burned with desire. She sucked on him, her tongue moving in gentle strokes over the rough skin of his finger. His dick throbbed, lying only inches away from the cleft between her legs. His skin sizzled with each lazy movement of her mouth, and her teeth nipped him as she settled herself closer to him.
“We never finished.” Her voice was deep and husky. A rosy pink tinted her chest and cheeks. She was so damn beautiful and sexy that he lay paralyzed beneath her.
“You’re upset—”
She nestled her crotch over him, and all words left his mouth. His brain turned to mush as his hands found the luscious curve of her ass. Her fingers closed around him as she guided him to her, sinking her body down. Her wetness surrounded him as she pressed deep. Her hands pressed into his chest, her eyes closed on a moan.
Feeling her, the wet, gentle cushion on his cock, was heaven. She was heaven. He groaned and moved her over him. Her breasts jiggled gently, her nipples pink and tight. He drank in the sight of her, her creamy skin and narrow waist, the soft and slight flare of her hips. Her sex, joined with his.
She moved steadily, her pleasure building with his. She drew him tighter, crushing him inside her as a moan shook her. He throbbed, and his body coiled tightly. A gasp broke in his throat. He held her breasts in his hands, his fingers gliding over her pebble-hard nipples, gently pinching as her orgasm rose. He hung on for the ride as her movements increased, her release frantic against him.
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