by Lynn Stevens
I smiled into his chest. He cares about me. “Okay.”
“Then put your shit in your room.” He squeezed me. “When you’re done, you’re going to tell me everything, and we’re going to come up with a plan to put an end to this.”
“Are you sure—”
“Everything.” Josh kissed my hair and stepped back, lifting my left hand. “And take that damned thing off.”
I slipped the ring off my finger and tossed it on the table where it spun to a stop. Josh was right. It was time this ended. I wasn’t going back to Iowa. I wasn’t leaving Chicago. And I wasn’t going to let him hurt my family. Josh thought he would protect me, but I was doing this on my own. He could back me up and stand beside me. Getting Sam to leave me alone was my job.
It was time I finally stood up for myself.
Chapter Nine
Lena and Ryder joined us later in the evening. Josh relayed the situation. My cousin held me while the guys tried to come up with a plan. Finally, I put an end to their scheming.
“This is my fight,” I whispered loud enough to cut through their argument. Both Josh and Ryder’s heads snapped toward me faster than a spring. Lena squeezed my shoulders. “I will go outside tomorrow morning. Alone.”
“No fu—”
“Josh, let her finish,” Lena interjected.
I smiled at her before continuing. “If I don’t, he’ll never leave.” I met Josh’s intense gaze. “But I need you there. Just inside the door, in case…”
“I don’t like this.” Ryder shook his head.
“You don’t have to, babe,” Lena said. She stood and went to him, sliding onto his lap. “Val’s right. This is her fight.” She glanced at me with a supportive smile. “But damned if she’ll really be alone. We’ll be there. Sam just won’t see us until it’s too late.”
Ryder dipped Lena back and kissed her hard. A pang of jealousy flitted through my bones. That kind of passion had eluded me. Even with Josh, he hadn’t kissed me quite like that, although he’d come pretty close. Maybe fear kept him in check, or maybe he didn’t feel the way I wanted him to. I wished he did.
“God, go back to your own apartment,” Josh chided. “I don’t need to see that shit.”
His face twisted in mock disgust, and a small giggle escaped my lips. Josh grinned.
Ryder sat a very flushed Lena on her feet. “You don’t even know how to do that shit, Cooper.”
“Just because you didn’t fall for my charms doesn’t mean beautiful women don’t.” Josh stared at me as he said it. “Now, get out. I need my beauty rest before I bloody my knuckles tomorrow.”
Ryder lead Lena to the door. “Now he gets all macho. When he took a bullet to the ass, he cried like a baby with a loaded diaper.”
“Babies are worth it.” Lena laughed.
Ryder froze. “What’s that—”
The door closed before I heard the rest of the conversation. I stared at the white wood, exhaustion taking over. After everything I’d been through, the fact that it might all finally end weighed on me. It seemed impossible. I fell back into the couch and closed my eyes. Josh’s arms wrapped around my shoulders and under my legs.
“What’re you doing?” I asked as he lifted me off the couch. My arms instinctively went around his neck.
Josh smiled. “Putting you in bed.” He stopped at the bottom of the steps. “My bed. If you’re okay with it?”
Desire threaded its way through my body. We’d slept together in my room almost every night, but the way he said it sounded like he wanted more than sleep. I watched his face, searching for doubt or indecision, and then I nodded. The only thing I saw in his eyes was sheer determination as he climbed the steps.
He laid me on the bed gently and stepped back. I twisted until I was on my knees in the middle of the mattress. Josh stood by the edge, his breathing growing heavier. I captured his gaze and held it, trying to convey how much I wanted the passion in his eyes. How much I needed him at that moment. He didn’t move as he stared back.
Actions speak louder than words, so I lifted my shirt over my head. Josh gasped, but not in surprise. The shirt had barely cleared my head when I felt his hands on my bare skin. I tossed the shirt on the floor and felt the intensity in his eyes.
“Only if you want to,” he whispered on heavy breaths. His fingers glided up my sides, leaving trails of smoldering skin.
Instead of answering, I reached back and unhooked my bra and tossing it somewhere near the discarded shirt. Josh pulled me closer and pressed his lips to mine. The searing passion I’d seen between Ryder and Lena was nothing compared the way Josh kissed me. He’d been holding back before, but he wasn’t any more. His touch wasn’t gentle, but it wasn’t dangerous. It was filled with so much want and need. Every place his fingers and lips touched my skin burned into my soul. I’d never experienced so much. The rest of my clothes were tossed away, and Josh’s joined them. Our bodies melded together. The desire almost drowned me until I reached heights I thought only occurred in romance novels.
It had never been like this before. I’d been with a few guys, but never had they made me feel this way. I screamed his name as he moaned mine before collapsing on top of me.
“You’re so amazing, Val,” he whispered.
He held me against his bare chest. I traced the scar on his shoulder and another on his side. He kissed the top of my head.
We didn’t talk about what was going to happen the next day, or even the day after that. Josh talked about his family, and I talked about the good times in Iowa with my father. His hands never left my body, and I never felt the shame of nakedness I had felt in the past with Sam.
I touched the large scar on the right side of his chest. “This is the second time?”
“Yeah.” Josh’s hand covered mine, pressing it against the scar. “That’s the one that almost killed me.” He kissed my forehead. “It would’ve if Ryder hadn’t … He saved my life, Val. I owe him everything.”
I chuckled at the weird connections we had to Lena and Ryder. He had saved Josh’s life, and Lena had saved mine. I pushed Josh onto his back and kissed his two scars. He’d survived bullets, and I’d survived abuse. If anybody could make it, we could. I hoped it would be together.
Chapter Ten
Waking up the next morning was heaven, until it hit me what I needed to do. Josh pulled me closer against him when I tried to get up. His snores rippled the air. If my impending fight with Sam didn’t hover in my thoughts, I would’ve kissed him awake. Instead, I ran my hand down his chest, enjoying the feel of his toned muscles.
“Don’t stop,” his hoarse voice cracked.
I glanced at him, trying to hide the fear building inside me.
His eyes widened, then he nodded once and pulled me into his arms. “I’m not going to let him hurt you. And you’re not going back with him. I’ll do whatever it takes, Val.”
I shivered at the thought of even seeing Sam again. Josh’s arms tightened around me. “I don’t want to run anymore. I want…” I couldn’t say it. As much as being with Josh felt right, I didn’t want to pin hope on it. There were other things I wanted to do, too. Over the last few weeks, I’d finally realized what I was meant to do with my life. And I needed to make it happen. I’d finish my degree in business so I would know how to open my own practice when I was ready. If I became a certified counselor, maybe even a psychiatrist, I could help other women like me get out of abusive relationships.
Josh tilted my head toward him and kissed me like I’d break. He didn’t push me to finish the sentence. It was one of the things I loved most about him.
Love? The thought of using that word to describe how I felt about anybody was terrifying, but it was so right. Oh God, I do love him.
Josh broke the kiss and stared at me with his head cocked to one side and the beginning of a smile quirking his lips.
A horn sounded out front, and I knew it was time to face Sam. Only a jackass like Sam would honk at eight o’clock on a Wednesday morning.
“Are you sure you want to go out there alone?” Josh asked, his thumb caressing my cheek.
“Sure?” I laughed. “Not really, but I have to do this.” I cupped his face in my hands. “You understand that, right? I have to do this alone.”
It was his turn to give a humorless laugh. “Not at all. But whether I understand it or not, I support you.”
We dressed in silence. I pulled on Josh’s favorite shirt, hoping that it would be almost like Josh was with me. Other than that, I wore a pair of old gym shorts and sneakers. Basically, my appearance made it clear I wasn’t going to leave. That and the lack of bags. They were still packed in my room just in case, but I had no intention of leaving with Sam. The only other thing I had was the ring.
Josh held my hand until we got to the bottom of the steps. I turned to kiss him one last time before making my way outside. The front door of our building had a four-panel glass window. If Josh stayed with me to the door, Sam would see him. It would be more trouble than I needed. Josh didn’t like it, but he didn’t argue.
I swallowed and wrung my hands together in a failed attempt to ease the tension expanding through my muscles. Then I opened the door. Sam leaned on an expensive car parked across the street from the building. It was just like him to rent something outrageous. He smiled like a hyena as I stepped from the building, but it disappeared as his gaze stopped at my empty hands.
“Valerie, you seem to have forgotten your bags.” The mask of composure returned and he grinned like I was an errant child. “Run back inside and grab them. Our flight leaves in a few hours.”
I stood straighter than a pole and clutched my hands together, the ring digging into my palms. “I’m not leaving with you.” I stepped between the parked cars into the middle of the street. With a braver face than I felt, I held out the ring. “I can’t marry you.”
Sam closed the gap between us, and I heard a door slam behind me.
“You’re damaged goods. Nobody else will ever want you.” His breath smelled like day old scotch and cigars. “You’re lucky I still want you. If you think another man –”
“I’d rather spend the rest of my life alone than with you.” I backed away, afraid the shaking in my legs would make it impossible to move any faster.
Sam laughed and grabbed my arm, digging his fingers into my soft flesh of my elbow. I couldn’t stop the squeal of pain escaping my lips. “If you don’t want your cousin’s pretty face messed up, you’ll come with me now.”
I almost agreed, just to protect Lena. At least until Sam’s other hand grabbed my shirt, ripping it. Anger like I’d never felt surged through me. I slammed my heel down on Sam’s toes. It hurt like hell, but I couldn’t let that stop me. Sam groaned and loosened his grip.
“You son of a bitch,” I screamed. I pulled my arm back and punched Sam in the nose. The pain shot through my hand, up my arm, resting in my elbow. I started to go down, but warm arms lifted me to my feet. I leaned against Josh, using his strength to finish this once and for all.
Sam glared over my shoulder at Josh. Blood spluttered from his nose, ruining the light gray suit. He wiped his nose with the sleeve. Five-hundred-dollar suits were nothing to him.
Lena and Ryder stepped outside, then more people surrounded us. All Marines.
“We’re done, Sam. If you so much as come near my family again, I’ll expose you for what you really are. If you go near my friends back home, I will do the same. And I will make sure they keep me informed of who you’re dating. Because I will email them pictures of my scars.”
The mask broke. Fear flooded his eyes, but I knew it wouldn’t last.
“You really think you’re better than me?” Sam shook his head. “You’re nothing. You’ve never been anything, and you’ll never be anything. All you ever were was a person to fuck. And you weren’t even worth the energy for that.” Josh’s arms tightened around me. Sam sneered at Josh then shifted it to me. “I’ve got plenty of other women who like how I treat them.” He tossed his head back and laughed. “Yeah, that’s right, bitch. You weren’t the only one.”
“Asshole,” Josh said under his breath. I pushed back into Josh, keeping him from lunging at Sam.
“I’m sure your new partner will tire of you soon.” Sam swung the keys around his finger, glancing where the diamond sat at his feet. He picked up the ring and brushed off the dust, before smiling as he threw it at me. “Keep it, Valerie. You’ll regret this one day, and I want you to have a memento of what you lost.”
The ring clattered against the street. I didn’t bend to pick it up. Josh’s arms finally loosened as Sam turned away from us. I closed my eyes, relief flooding my views. A car door slammed. My knees almost gave out. Josh squeezed me against him. The engine roared to life just as the aches in my body flared. The tires squealed on the pavement. I opened my eyes and watched the car disappear around the corner.
“He’s gone,” Josh said.
What little strength I had left disappeared, and I collapsed completely.
“I got you.” Josh lifted me into his arms again.
“It’s over, Val,” Ryder said. He clapped my shoulder then head toward his friends.
I closed my eyes, resting my head against his shoulder. His steady breathing lulled me into a trance. I barely heard Lena rush up to us. She spoke to Josh, but I had no clue what they said.
It’s finally over. The words repeated in my head until I blacked out.
Chapter Eleven
I leaned back in my seat. Takeoff was the worst. Over the last week and a half, my life had changed dramatically. The threat of Sam hovered around me, and I constantly checked over my shoulder, but I wasn’t as afraid of him anymore. Still, I hocked the ring. I probably could’ve gotten more money for it, but I wanted the thing out of my life.
My mother called me two days after I stood up to Sam. He was seen around town with some girl she didn’t know. She berated me on my poor choices until I hung up on her. I have no idea how she got my number, but I suspected Sam had something to do with it. She called me every day since. I didn’t answer, and I didn’t listen to the voice mail. Josh didn’t approve, but he didn’t chastise me either.
“Maybe one day when I’m stable and standing on my own two feet, I’ll call her,” I told him. “But not now.”
I signed up for a full course schedule to finish my business degree online, paying for it with the money from the ring. It felt good to move forward, to have a future.
Josh squeezed my hand as the plane taxied on the runway. I hated flying. Thankfully, Chicago to Vegas was only three and a half hours. Being stuck in the middle seat didn’t help much either. The plane lifted, and the pressure on my chest made it difficult to breathe.
“It’ll be okay,” Josh said. He didn’t look at me, instead choosing to watch the world disappear beneath us.
In fact, he hadn’t looked at me much the last two days. I wondered if I did something. Then I wondered if he was getting bored with me. If he was, I’d deal. That was life. Sometimes relationships don’t work. I’d accepted this. The only thing I hadn’t done was ask him what was going on. The old me wouldn’t, but the new me had to know.
“Is something wrong?” I asked.
He shook his head, but he continued to stare out the window.
“Josh,” I whispered. “If … if you want this to be over, just tell me. I’m a big girl. I can handle it.”
His head whipped around. Tears skirted his wide eyes. “Are you crazy?”
I tried to smile. “Sometimes.” I turned in my seat as much as the seatbelt allowed. “Whatever’s bothering you, I’m here.”
Josh reached out with his free hand and caressed my jaw. “I know you are.”
“Then talk to me.”
He closed his eyes and sighed. “I was hoping to wait until after the wedding to tell you.” He opened his eyes. “I… I got my orders a few days ago. I’m getting transferred to Twentynine Palms in California.”
The world stopped. Josh was a s
oldier first. He’d always be a soldier. It was the one thing I’d overlooked about any possible future. Of course, he could be transferred. He could’ve been sent overseas again, back into the warzone.
“I don’t want to lose you, Val,” he said. His thumb wiped the tears I hadn’t realized were falling.
“I…” I didn’t know what to say. He’d move. I’d stay in Chicago. That was it. He didn’t want to tell me it was over, but what other choice did we have?
“Come with me,” he said. Moving across the country sounded farfetched. He stared at me for a long moment, not once breaking his gaze. “Marry me.”
“What?” My voice hit a pitch I’d never known possible. I slid down in my seat.
Josh’s shoulders fell and he let go of me. “I knew it was pointless to ask, but I had to try.”
“But…” A million things shifted in my mind. Marry Josh? Maybe. We’d only known each other for a few months. Other than being a Marine, I had no idea what he did in the military. And what about my plans? After I get my business degree, I was going to enroll at a college in Chicago. Then there was love. I knew I loved Josh, but I’d never told him. I had no idea if he felt the same way. I mean, proposing might’ve meant that he did. How could I know for sure?
“It’s okay. I get it.” He crossed his arms and turned his gaze back out the window.
I laid my hand on his arm. “Josh, please, let’s talk about this.”
“What’s there to talk about? I asked you to marry me and you declined.” He refused to look at me. “I love you, Val. I don’t want to wake up without you. If you don’t want to marry me…”
“You love me?”
Josh finally faced me. “Of course, I do. You know that.”
I laughed at the absurdity of his statement. “How am I supposed to know that? You’ve never said it before.”
Josh cocked his eyebrow. “I’ll spend the rest of my life making up for the horrible things Sam did to you, Val. Be my wife.”
