by Freda, Paula
In the midst of returning legal docs to their proper filing jackets, Lexie did not realize that Jim had sneaked up behind her to gently place a teasing kiss on her neck. She swung her free hand to knock away whatever insect had landed on her neck. In its place she encountered Jim's chin.
"Ow!" he yelped. "It's just me!" he said, rubbing his jaw tenderly.
Lexie replaced the legal document in its proper file before she lost its place, and turned on Jim, hands on hips. "What's the matter with you? We're in the office, working."
Jim laughed, "Oh for God's sake — "
"Don't take the Lord's name in vain," Lexie scolded in earnest.
Jim took a deep breath to control his exasperation. "All right, Oh, for heaven's sake — "
The expression on Lexie's face told him that wasn't much better.
"Okay, fine, but there's nothing wrong with a teasing kiss to tantalize the love of my life," he said, smiling.
"Well, besides startling me, what if someone had seen."
"Jacqueline is on break, and my fellow lawyers all have their doors shut, busy on their phones or working on legal briefs." Jim excused.
That doesn't pre-empt the fact that your secretary, or one of your peers, or their secretaries, may open a door to give me a document to file, or ask me to pull one. Or," she added, "that my co-worker might return early from her break.
"Highly unlikely," Jim said, ignoring her latter reason. "Jacqueline doesn't believe in short breaks."
True, Lexie thought. Jacqueline, the other clerk, was not a conscientious worker like herself. Another trait that her parents encouraged in her behavior. As a result, she never felt satisfied until she achieved her best. The thought came to her — perhaps yet another reason for her qualified "No..."
"And my secretary already left for lunch," he added.
"So, fine, what do you want?"
Jim replied, shocked. "Boy, you really know how to hurt a man."
"I'm busy, I have a lot of filing to do, cross-referencing, and typing—"
"It's lunch time," Jim said, firmly. "And I'd like to take you out to eat." Before she could retort, he added, "Any place you like. Even as economical as McDonald's. I'll even consent not to pay. We can go Dutch. Okay?"
What else could she answer. No matter how hard she tried to push him away, he persisted. "Oh, all right," she caved in. He did have a way with words. It made it hard to resist the patience and affection he showed for her.
"Good," he said. "And we can discuss what time I should pick you up for dinner tonight at a fine restaurant of my choosing."
Lexie bit back a reply that she wasn't in the mood for dinner out with him tonight. He took too much for granted and his over-anxiousness played on her nerves. However, there was the matter of his wanting her to move in with him. And tonight might afford her the opportunity to ask him that personal question that needed answering. "All right," she repeated. "There is something I need to discuss with you tonight."
"What?" he prodded.
"Tonight," she said. "It's not something I want to discuss over lunch."
As decided over lunch, Jim presented himself precisely at 8 p.m. at her private entrance and rang her doorbell in his usual manner — six buzzes to the beat of S.O.S. · · · – – – · · ·. She asked him once why he did that, and his reply was that the sounds mimicked the beat of his heart anticipating seeing her.
Lexie shook her head. He must be crazy, she thought, although the flattery was not unwelcome. Shrugging, she pushed the remote button that unlocked the private entrance. He bounded up the stairs two by two, a vital young man in his late twenties. She had to admit she found him attractive in his dark grey suit, satin grey vest and striped tie, and light grey overcoat he wore indifferently and casually, open at the front. He reached her and embraced her tightly. Jim's hugs were given in unexpected spurts, and too tight. She had to bring up her hands to his chest and push in order to breathe. Jim always had to be told how she felt. She accepted his kiss, but before it deepened, she pulled away.
"I'll get my coat," she said. "It's not getting any earlier."
Jim released her reluctantly, his face expressing boyish disappointment and resignation. He closed the door behind him and followed her to the closet nearby. She slipped her only coat off the hanger — plain beige wool double-breasted. Always a gentleman, Jim took the coat from her hands and placed it about her shoulders and waited as she fitted her arms into the sleeves. He turned her to face him and began to button it. Lexie brushed his hands away. "I can do it myself," she told him.
Since the day she learned to button her coat herself, there was only one person she permitted to help her. Chris. He never even looked at the buttons, but kept his tender gaze and warm smile fixed on her face. By the time he'd reached the last button, she was ready and yearning for his kiss, always gently placed on her lips, with the promise of passion after they had exchanged their vows.
Lexie gave herself a mental shake. What was she doing, comparing the two. Each of them had their good points and their faults.
With another boyish look of deprivation, Jim raised his hands in surrender. "Of course, sorry."
They both headed for the door and the doorbell buzzed. Surprised, Lexie went to the window in her living room that gave her a good view of who was outside her private entrance. A goofy expression on her face, she uttered, "Oh, God!" Not a swear, but a prayer.
"Who is it?" Jim asked. "Do you know her?"
Lexie turned to him. "It's my mom."
The doorbell buzzed again, longer this time. Lexie took a deep breath.
"Maybe you had better answer," Jim said. "Does she know about us?"
Lexie caught the tension in his voice. "Don't worry, Jim. She's really a nice lady." She pushed the remote button that unlocked the entrance door, allowing her mother access to the stairs and opened her apartment door to welcome her.
"Lexie, dearest," Leatrice greeted, hugging her child.
"Hi, mom, I didn't expect—" the "you" died on her lips as she saw who had entered silently behind her mother and was climbing up the stairs — a tall, lean man. His rawhide jacket was fringed at the cuffs and hem. His Stetson that had seen better days, perched slightly to the side over his dark ash blonde hair.
Leatrice felt her daughter stiffen in her arms and pulled back enough to see the astonishment on her face. She explained, "Chris insisted on accompanying me. And he was worried about you as well."
"Worried about me?" Lexie forced the words out. "Why?" Lexie had heard the expression "My stomach did a somersault," but she had never experienced the sensation, until now.
CHAPTER FIVE
Under the guise of a second hug, she clung to her mother. Leatrice returned the hug, and whispered in her daughter's ear, "It's okay, sweetheart."
As always, her mom's discerning reassurance soothed and calmed the nervousness she felt. Not so with Chris' gaze — cold. She felt a sudden pang for old times. She remembered the way his hazel gaze warmed like sunlight and a smile lit up his clean-cut features each time he came to meet her. He'd study her face to ascertain her mood — happy, angry, or sad — before his arms reached out to hold her close for a moment. He always measured his words to bring out the best in her, the reason she had always felt comfortable in his company. Not so, this time, though. His gaze swept over her so coldly, it bordered on contempt.
Lexie released her mom and stepped back encountering Jim behind her. "Oh!" For a moment she had forgotten he was there. She turned partly to face him. "Sorry," she uttered weakly.
"It's okay, sweetheart. Is this the Chris?" he asked, smiling.
Wishing she could kick Jim without adding to her embarrassment, she said, "Y-Yes, this is my old friend, Chris. We kinda grew up together. I-I've known him since first—"
Chris cut her off. "We go back a long ways."
Lexie swallowed nervously and her hand went to the small hollow below her throat. If she'd been wearing a tie, she would have loosened it.
"Y-Yes," she paused, her eyes beseeching Chris for a reassuring smile, "we go back a long ways." But none was forthcoming. Addressing her mother, she said, "We were just leaving to have dinner. Have you had yours? Would you like to join us?"
Leatrice glanced at Chris behind her. "I am kinda hungry," she said. "We haven't eaten since the plane landed earlier this afternoon. How about you Chris?"
Lexie caught the hint of eyebrows holding back a frown as he nodded.
"Well, that's settled," Leatrice said. "We'll join you."
The foursome piled into Jim's Lincoln sedan. Leatrice openly admired the sleek lines and silver gray color, and later Jim himself. At the restaurant, he courteously opened doors and pulled back upholstered chairs for Leatrice and Lexie to sit at the luxuriously set table in the elegant restaurant he had chosen. He held the restaurant door open until Chris had passed through. Yes, Leatrice thought, he played the part of a gentleman to perfection, but what was he like inside. Was his character strong and steadfast as her husband's? Did he have Seth's stamina and perseverance? Would he keep loving Lexie when her free spirit grew restless with city life and yearned for the open grasslands and snow-capped mountains of her native home?
Over dinner, the foursome kept the conversation light, restrained to how the ranches and old friends were doing. Leatrice mentioned that Seth was thinking of visiting in a couple of weeks. Lexie nearly choked at this news.
"We've rented rooms at a motel not far from you," Leatrice said, when Lexie had recovered her composure.
"Mom, you could stay with me."
"Yes, I thought about that, but that would leave Chris pretty much alone in this unfamiliar environment. And Seth made him promise to keep an eye on both of us."
Lexie glanced at Chris, and for the first time that evening she could have sworn she saw a corner of his mouth lift wickedly. Uh, oh, she thought. It reminded her of the times they played on the open range, and he had a trick up his sleeve.
"Where are you living?" Chris asked Jim.
Lexie almost choked again.
"Oh, I live in the City." Jim replied simply, for once wise enough not to follow his answer with an awkward comment."
Lexie relaxed, as did her mother.
Dinner finally over, they parted ways, Leatrice and Chris to their rooms at the motel, and Jim taking Lexie back to her apartment.
"Thanks for being so nice to mom and my old friend," Lexie said, when they had reached the outside entrance to her apartment.
"You told her, didn't you, that we talked about moving in with each other."
Lexie nodded. "We're old school," Lexie said. "It's the way I was raised. I'm sorry if it doesn't meet with your modern standards."
"No, don't be sorry. I love you even more for that." He gave a deep sigh. "So I guess my only recourse is to get you to accept my marriage proposal, before Chris recaptures your heart."
Lexie shook her head. "No, Chris doesn't want me anymore, not after I broke his heart. If he feels anything for me, now, it's contempt." Or getting even, she thought, recalling that sliver of a wicked smile. Again she felt a pang for the old times. They were gone forever. "I'm tired and it's late. I just want to crawl into bed and go to sleep."
Jim lifted her chin and placed a gentle kiss on her lips. "Yes, that's a good idea. Things will look clearer in the morning. I'll just walk you up the steps. I won't come in. I'll wait until you make sure everything is okay in the apartment."
"Thank you," Lexie said, in earnest.
CHAPTER SIX
When they arrived at the motel, Chris accompanied Leatrice to her room and wished her a pleasant night, before walking further down the porch to his own quarters. The motel was set on a grassy patch further in from the main road, so the air was cleaner here. The indigo sky was cloudless tonight, and a myriad of stars filled it. They appeared quite a distance away, not like on his parents' ranch in his hometown where it seemed he could reach up and seize a twinkling star. He knew of course that the stars were millions of light years away. But it was nice to imagine they were close above him.
Clear nights like this one, with the full moon illuminating the dark star-studded sky were special to him. They brought back fond memories of himself and Lexie seated together on the porch swing outside the Triple R.
When, he wondered, did the girl he loved more than life itself, stop loving him? She told him the why. She wanted new vistas, new surroundings, meet new people, expand her horizons. He told her he'd willingly follow her anywhere; adapt to any new lifestyle she craved, as long as she continued to need and love him and allowed him to be with her. But she flatly refused. He was too much a part of her old life. He had no place in her new world. He'd felt his heart split in two and crushed under her adamancy to follow through with her own desires no matter how much she hurt him.
The evening of her college graduation should have been among the best in his life — the announcement of their engagement. Instead, it had been the worst. When he parted with her that evening, he told her he'd learn to hate her, wished he'd never met her. But he couldn't, hard as he tried. He couldn't hate her or despise her. She wasn't an evil person, and hadn't meant to hurt him. Leaving the ranch and him was what she truly believed best for her.
So she went to her new world. He did not think he would ever see her again, except in his dreams each night, where she still cared for him. Sometimes he and Lexie were small children frolicking on the plains abounding in grey-green sage. During one of their childhood games, they had tasted it, and spat it out making all sorts of faces. It was bitter, as bitter as the pain in his heart when he awoke, and realized he had been dreaming, like his other dreams, where they were teenagers and he escorted her to her high school prom. How proud he felt to be her escort. She was the most beautiful girl at the prom in her light blue silk sheath. It matched the color of her eyes and shimmered and hung delicately over her blossoming form from the scooped neckline to just above her ankles. He loved her eyes, crystal sky blue, wide and expressive, and her radiant smile and the way she laughed. He loved her decisive ways, and her intelligence, even her stubbornness. She was born to be a leader. And he had no qualms realizing that he was a "follower," not in the sense of a wimp, or someone without purpose of his own, but as one who doesn't need to be the leader, once he's found a righteous course to follow.
He remembered how he reined in his desire to be intimate with Lexie, knowing it was not the time. Marriage first. He realized the night of the prom that she was the only girl he would ever love, the only one with whom he could find happiness. That night as be brought her home, he proposed. And to his joy and edification, she accepted. And then she went away to college on the east coast, and everything changed.
From the moment of their breakup, Chris shielded his heart, determined to never again be vulnerable to such heartbreak. No woman would ever make him love her to the extreme that he had loved Lexie. He had finally grown up and faced reality.
When Seth asked him to accompany Leatrice to make sure Lexie stayed out of trouble and did nothing she might regret, he was tempted to refuse and have nothing to do with her further. But he owed Seth and Leatrice. His father had been a previous ranch hand on the Triple R, and the Driscolls were always kind and caring to his family, even to financing Chris' trade school education following high school. His parents did not have the funds to help him attend the agricultural trade school of his choice. He only accepted Seth's and Leatrice's help on the condition they consider it a loan, which he repaid to the last cent.
He owed the Driscolls this much, to make sure Lexie did nothing stupid she might regret. If what Lexie felt for this lawyer was real, and vice versa, and the man was right for her, he would not interfere. But if he saw any sign that might lead to her unhappiness, she was in for a surprise. The old Chris was gone. The new Chris was not one she'd enjoy tangling with.
CHAPTER SEVEN
Lexie slept restlessly. Chris and Jim invaded her dreams separately and together. She found herself on subway statio
ns totally alien to Manhattan. One moment she rode a familiar crowded train pulling in to the wrong station. The crowd exiting the train pushed her off, and the doors closed behind her, leaving Chris on the departing train. Nothing was familiar, and when she asked a conductor standing idly on the station, he told her he'd never heard of the Long Island Railroad Station.
Frustrated, she decided to take the next train going back. As there appeared to be only one track, she searched and found a stairwell that led to other tracks. She went down one that said New York, but when she boarded the incoming train, it turned out to be an express to New Jersey. Confused and terrified, she looked through the glass windows as the train sped over a suspended bridge over unfamiliar waters.
When the train finally stopped, she immediately stepped off. This time the track was two-sided, so she waited for a returning train to take her back, at least to her point of origin. When the train finally pulled into the station, she thought she saw Jim sitting by a window in one of the front cars. She quickly entered the train and used the connecting doors between cars to reach Jim, but she couldn't find him. The scenery outside the train made her swallow nervously. Instead of returning to her point of origin, the train was headed further out to parts unknown.
She woke with a start and breathed a sigh of relief as she realized she was back in her bed in her apartment. Only a dream, or rather a nightmare, she thought, once more unsettled — not the first of similar nightmares.
Later that morning Leatrice called her from the motel room and arranged to meet her for lunch in the City. Lexie chose a fast food restaurant, not wanting to impose on her mother's finances, nor overburden her own humble ones. Hamburgers and Frankfurters, her favorites, and apple pie and coffee. Lexie waited until they were both finished eating, before acting on what she decided that morning..
