by J. Nichole
Nicole looks around, taking inventory of the mayhem and says, "What's next?"
"Before Chris came today, I was convinced that I wanted to be with Josh. Driving here to check on me." Nicole puts her hands on her hips. "That was comforting." She cocks her eyebrow at me. "And a panty dropper." She laughs.
"And then Chris shows up, and your panties are already dropped." She looks at my panties on the floor. "Literally."
I palm my face. "When he called a few weeks ago I wanted to be mad. I didn't want feelings to be there still. Seeing him today confirmed that the feelings are still there, but I won't let myself get wrapped up in his bullshit."
"You don't know it's bullshit until you let him explain, right?" She cocks her head. "He may have a good reason for everything that's happened."
"Or maybe I should just stay single." Peeping through my fingers I continue, "The two of them are complicated."
Nicole sucks her teeth. "And give up that dick?" We both laugh. "But really. Go catch up with Chris before he leaves town." I nod and stand up. "Go clean your ass and get out of here." I glance at myself in the mirror and go into the bathroom for a shower.
Cars line the street in front of the frat house, and guys fill the yard. Instead of walking into the lion's den I call Chris to summons him outside. When he doesn't answer I scan the crowd of guys. I don't remember the last time I was lurking outside of the frat house. Since our breakup I've avoided the area entirely. I call Chris again, and still no answer. I look across the yard one last time before I start to pull out of my parking spot. Before I drive off I hear a knock on my passenger window. I push on the brake and look to my right, and see Jason laughing.
I roll down the window and ask, "What the hell?"
He raises his brows at me. "What the hell to me? I was going to ask you the same thing." He tries to open the door then throws his hands in the air when the door doesn't open. "Let me in."
I unlock the doors and he sits beside me. "I was trying to get out of here before anyone noticed me." I look at him and roll my eyes. "I should have known you would have been here."
"I saw Chris earlier. Are you looking for him?" I nod my head. "He told me to look out for you, and let you know he's at Lake Ella. Meet him there." I look down at my phone and Jason responds, "He only wants to talk in person." He pats my hand and steps out of the car.
Last time Chris and I were at Lake Ella it was after Professor Douglas passed away and I escaped there to clear my mind. He hurried to my side to help while I was grieving. It's the last place I want to be with him, too many raw emotions. My heart wins the battle with my mind and I drive towards Lake Ella. Something deep inside wants to know why Chris ended things.
Lake Ella is less saturated than the frat house, and the heat has cooled down since earlier at the march. When I park, I see Chris sitting on a park bench looking out at the lake. I walk towards him, and each footstep feels like it's rooted in cement. What should have been a short distance from my car seems like I walked a few laps around the lake.
I sit beside him but keep space between us. He looks at me and the smile he had earlier when he saw me doesn't return. Instead his face is grief stricken with a straight line replacing his grin.
"Every city should have a lake like this." A family strolls by us and a little girl laughs as ducks splash in the water. "I've only been here for a few minutes and I feel like some of my troubles are lifted." He emphasizes the word some. "I knew seeing you with someone else would tear me apart, but it hurts worse than I ever could imagine." He glances at me then back at the lake. "But maybe because it's Josh."
"But why?" I turn on the bench to face him with my arms crossed over my chest. "If I remember correctly, you broke up with me." I chuckle to myself. "With no explanation."
He looks at me, and his eyes focus onto mine. "It was the hardest thing I ever had to do. But it was necessary. Courtney was sending me threats, and I realized the only way to protect you was for her to think I was over you." Courtney, his deranged ex, would do anything to be back in his life. But I stood in between her and him, and of course she saw me as the problem.
He grabs my hand. "I'm sorry. If there had been any other way I would have done it. The only way I thought I could protect you was to break up with you." My anger begins to boil and I snatch my hand out of his grip.
"You could have told me, and we could have figured something out together." I jab my finger into his chest and say, "You let her stand between us, and let me think our relationship suddenly hit the brakes."
Chris looks around at the people passing and tries to calm me down. Instead of lowering my voice, my anger causes me to speak louder. "Why even tell me now?" The little girl and her parents make their second lap around the lake. The little girl isn't giggling anymore. She looks at me and waves. I wave and watch her as she walks away.
"Laila, it's the last thing I wanted to do. If there were anything else I could have done I would have done it." He looks down. "If losing you to someone else was the worst thing that came of all of this it's better than any harm being done to you."
I turn away and find the little girl has made it to the other side of the lake. Chris places his hand on my knee, and I flinch. "You didn't answer my question." I move his hand from my knee. "Why are you telling me now?"
We turn and face each other. He rubs his chin and says, with a slight smile, "Courtney can't bother you anymore. Her parents will be sure you never have to worry about her." I raise my brows at him. "We'll leave those details for another day."
“Another day? She was such a threat before and I’m supposed to trust her parents who brought her into this world will protect me from her.”
Chris takes a deep breath. “I know it sounds crazy, but when everything went down I had to involve my mom. She told me she would help but I immediately needed to protect you.” Last year, Courtney pulled a knife on Chris and was arrested but somehow the details of the knife were lost and she was released back into the wild. “My mom was worried that things would escalate before she could help.”
“Your mom agreed that breaking up with me was a good option?” I look away from him because although I asked I’d rather not know how his mom was involved with my heartbreak.
“Not exactly. But when I did she did what she could to locate Courtney’s parents.”
“And it took months for them to intervene?”
“No, but it did take her some time to find them, and then once she found them they understood what was going on but they couldn’t find Courtney.”
Rolling my eyes and shaking my head I ask, “How can they guarantee she won’t be back?”
“During all of this my mom got the police of Tennessee involved and a restraining order was filed. Nothing is guaranteed, but they’ve agreed to keep tabs on her until she is better.”
“Better? Like she’s legit crazy?”
“Possibly. They checked her into a facility to get help.”
The events of the day are taking a toll on me and my shoulders slump as I sit back on the bench. Looking at Chris I ask, "Did you think out your plan? This explanation doesn’t just wipe away the months that we’ve been apart.” I look him in the eye and say, “Are we supposed to pick up where we left off?" I shake my head at Chris. "You just stroll back into my life and I’m supposed to drop what I’m doing and fall back into our relationship?"
"No." He shrugs. Wiping his face he looks at me and says, "But I hope we can date, and work back up to where we left off."
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Also by J. Nichole
Freshmen Fifteen
Sophisticated Sophomore
Grown & Sexy Senior
Grown & Sexy Senior Sample
My mother looks at me in the mirror and says, "Getting ready for your boo to come over?" She leans against my dresser and smiles.
I hand-comb my curls and smile back. "Yes ma'am."
She picks a piece of lint from my shoulder. "You've grown so much in these four years away from us." Her eyes tear up and I shake my head. She's been getting sentimental all winter break. "You'll be graduating from college in a few months."
"Mom, you have to pull it together. You're going to be a complete mess when I walk across that stage." She nods her head then pulls me into a hug and gathers my head into her bosom. I pull away to avoid smearing my makeup on her beautiful, winter white dress. "Ma, really? You're going to mess up your dress."
She sniffles. "I don't care. I only have a couple more days with you before you're gone again." Fort Walton Beach is only three hours from L.U., where I've been for four years, but my mom has made few unsolicited visits the entire time I've been there.
My dad peeks through the door and says, "People will be arriving soon, and I think the pies are ready to come out of the oven," and then he disappears again.
My mom throws an annual holiday party, and although my dad participates in the party he doesn't assist in preparations. My mom hugs me tight one last time before she walks out of the room, undoubtedly to tend to her pies.
I smooth my hands over my dress, tugging at the hem, and shifting until the wool sits on my hips and hugs my ass. Looking over my exposed shoulder I nod my head and say, "Feeling good, looking great."
Laughter escapes from behind the wall and I jump. Tanya taps the door as Ava runs past her and into my arms. "Feeling yourself?" Her gaze travels from my bare feet to my loose curls. "Toes did. Dress snug in all the right places. Hair and make-up flawless." She pinches my butt. "Guess you have reason to." She reaches out for Ava but the little girl squirms out of her reach and lays her head on my shoulder. Tanya shakes her head in defeat.
"Aunty over mommy." I kiss Ava on her forehead and say, "Right, Ava?" Tanya turns to walk out of the room. "I see that ass is still determined to stick around." Tanya's head snaps around as Ava giggles. "My bad. I'm not used to having little people around."
Tanya has been my best friend for years. We even had plans of starting L.U. together, but she got pregnant our senior year of high school. She stayed home and went to community college, and when she finished she decided to attend her parent's Alma Mater and my school's rival while Ava stayed back home with her grandparents.
Our mothers are gathered in the kitchen. Ms. Jackson is raving about a piece of pie she snuck from the dessert table. My dad yells from his recliner, "Wish I could have a taste of that pie." Our mothers laugh and keep chatting as Tanya and I watch Ava twirl like a ballerina through the kitchen.
A few more guests arrive, and while we wait for others my mom offers the group hours d'oeuvres. As she passes me a deviled egg she tells me to come with her and I follow her to a corner of the kitchen. "I haven't heard from your brother." She takes a deep breath while she places the platter in the sink. "Can you call him?"
My brother is a prison guard and although he's never been in any harm my mom is always worried about him. Walking out of the kitchen in search of my phone, my dad yells, "Any more of those eggs?" Under his breath he continues, "I'm hungry as hell." I shake my head and walk into my room.
I find my phone and tap a message to Nick, asking him to hurry the hell up. My door shuts and I look up to see Josh walking towards me. I drop my phone and smile as he wraps his arms around me. "What took you so long?"
He snuggles his nose into my neck and inhales. "My mom forgot a dish and I had to run back to the house and pick it up."
I step away from him and say, "Better keep my distance from you. You can't keep your hands to yourself." I look at the door. "It won't be long before someone busts into my room."
"Yeah your dad eyed me as I walked back here." He steals another kiss and then says, "He was complaining about being hungry and waiting for everyone to arrive." He traces his finger down my neck to my chest. "Are we still on for tonight?" Josh made plans for us to go to the club. Tanya is bringing one of her latest flings.
"Of course." I grab him by the hand and lead him out of my room before he starts something we can't finish. As we walk through the living room our dads both look at us and shake their heads. Josh releases my hand and joins them in the living room and I walk into the kitchen.
"I don't know if I can keep your dad waiting much longer for your brother." My mom looks at me and says, "What'd he say?" The doorbell rings and we all breathe a sigh of relief.
My dad answers the door and says, “It's about damn time. Got me over here about to eat my fingers." Tanya and I start bringing the food to the tables as everyone finds a seat.
Josh saves a seat for us at a table with Nick and Ava. Nick is describing his girlfriend to Josh when Tanya and I finally sit down. I look at him and say, "You should have brought her over. We could have found an extra seat for her."
Nick looks between me and Josh and smirks. "And have her thinking we'll be getting married." He shakes his head. "No, I'm good." Josh grabs my thigh beneath the table and I cross my leg over his hand, locking it into place.
After dinner, Josh steals me away from the festivities for a ride to the beach. The road is clear, and as we cross the bridge to the beach I can tell the waters are calm. If I were in a different place I'd have mistaken the sand for snow. Josh pulls into a parking space at the boardwalk. We've been here together a number of times. "Take a walk with me?"
I smile and nod my head. He grabs a blanket from the back seat and then opens my door. He wraps the blanket around me and we walk side by side with his arm wrapped around my shoulders, keeping the blanket in place.
Laughing, he says, "Do you remember our first kiss?"
I look at him out of the side of my eyes. I take a seat at a bench on the pier. "How could I forget?" Our first kiss was underwhelming. So much so that I thought our chemistry would never work out. It was spring break during my sophomore year, right after Chris broke up with me. Instead of my Girls Gone Wild trip to Miami, I ended up back at home. A complete mess. Josh and I ran into each other at the grocery store and we finally spent time together after all the years of me crushing on him.
He kisses my neck. "I will say, after all the dreams I had of seducing you, the kiss was not what I expected. Or dreamed."
"Aren't you glad we didn't give up there?" Josh didn't give up on us then, or through my wanting to be free for the summer, or even after Chris decided to make a comeback. He fought to stay relevant even when I wanted him to give up to make things easier for me. Choosing between him and Chris was difficult. I despised Chris after our break up. Was so upset that he could just break up with me without an explanation and walk away. But then he returned and explained the reason he broke up with me was to spare me from his crazy-ass ex-girlfriend, Courtney. Our entire relationship was riddled with her desire to be with Chris, or at least for him not to be with me. Guess she couldn't take us ignoring her.
"What do you think?" Josh rubs circles into my hand. I bite my lip for not listening. "You there?"
"Sorry." My ey
es shut briefly and then I look at him. "What'd you say?"
"I was just saying how different this Christmas break has been." He stops talking and looks at me with a straight face. "Just a few more months before we don't have to worry about the awkward goodbyes." He scoots closer to me and slips his hand under the blanket.
"Can you pour me some of that water so my glass can be half full?" Josh is hoping that I'll be offered a job in the area, but I haven't devoted much effort here. I've been focused on bigger cities. My backup plan will be to return to Jacksonville, where I did my internship at the local magazine.
"I'm sure you could get hired at The Daily News. I don't even know the last time I opened that paper." He smirks and says, "It probably was when you interned that summer."
I look at him, amazed. I interned there the summer after freshman year. He was still at A&T and I didn't realize he was keeping up with me.
The sun begins to set over the water and the breeze from the ocean makes me shiver. "We should probably get going if we plan on hitting the club tonight." Josh leans in for a kiss and our tongues are much more in sync than our first kiss. He deepens the kiss and rubs his hand up and down my thigh, between my legs, and the cold breeze doesn't feel as cool.
I hear snickering, and I pull away from him as an old couple passes by us. Josh stands and takes my hand as we walk back to his car.
"I want to be old and kissing my wife in public." Josh smiles at me. We haven't discussed our relationship beyond the next year. I am in no rush to get married, or even live with him.
"I may be a prudish old lady, grasping my pearls at the young kids when they kiss in front of me." I grab at my neck clutching my invisible pearls to illustrate.
Josh spins me around, kisses me on my neck, my nose, and then my forehead. "You just killed my fantasy." I giggle and wriggle out of his embrace. He pulls me closer and whispers, "You aren't an old lady. PDA isn't off limits yet, right?" I shake my head and lean in to kiss his lips.
