by Anne Connor
An assistant at the edge of the stage motions me toward him and hands me my own mic, instructing me to introduce us.
“Hello, New York!” I say, putting my arms out. “It’s good to be home. If you don’t know me, I’m Ryan Hart. But I have someone new to introduce, maybe someone you guys haven’t heard of yet. But you will. Joining me tonight is Sara Montgomery. She’s new to the show, and she has some fabulous info for you guys.”
“Thank you, sir,” she mewls, and a few whistles come from the crowd below us. I didn’t realize the sassy but nervous girl at the interview would blossom into the professional speaker on stage with me. If I’m not careful, she’ll start her own show and poach all my listeners. “So, I don’t want this to be a lecture. I’m not your mom. But I do want to make sure you guys all know to practice safer sex. Protect yourselves.” She reviews a few types of protection - it’s really just a refresher, but it’s the kind of thing that young people should be reminded of from time to time.
“I don’t want to take up too much more of your time,” she continues, flashing a look to me behind her shoulder. That glance is strange. There’s fire in her eyes, but it’s distant. It’s directed elsewhere. It’s turning in on itself. There’s something in her that I can’t read. “Remember to protect yourselves. Like I said before. Make sure you know what you’re getting into. This goes beyond just using condoms. Everyone here has heard of having a safe word, right? Sometimes we get wrapped up in a situation we don’t know how to deal with. Sometimes we don’t know how to say no. Sometimes we want things and don’t know how to ask for them, and sometimes we are given more than we can handle. So just take away this from me - have fun, and be safe. And that’s the most important thing you can do.”
I grin as my heart pounds in my chest. Sara hands her mic to one of the techs at the edge of the stage and comes over to stand next to me.
“That was fabulous,” I say to her as the crowd claps, grabbing her around the waist and drawing her in close. I give her a kiss on the cheek, but she doesn’t reciprocate any of my affection. She pulls away, turns cold, and gives me a small smile as she tosses back her drink.
24
Sara
I put my drink down on the table where I was sitting, waiting for Ryan to come back to me from wherever the hell he left me, and rush toward the stairs at the end of the stage.
“Sara!” Ryan chases after me and catches up to me as I get to the bottom stair. I try to push past the security guard.
“You didn’t want me in there, and now you don’t want to let me out?” I say, frustrated. He can’t hear me over the music. “Excuse me!”
Finally he moves, and I feel Ryan’s hand on my wrist, but I shake it away, slipping between people dancing, moving deftly around them. I push the doors of the club open and let myself spill out onto the street, my head reeling, my heart pounding; I quietly curse the stupid red carpet under my feet.
“Sara, what the hell happened back there?” Ryan says, following behind me. “What’s going on with you?”
I shake my head and stare at him. “What was the money for, Ryan?”
“What?” His face contorts, his question dismissive. “I don’t understand the question.”
“You don’t? I thought you had all the answers. So tell me exactly what the five thousand dollars was for.”
“It was for you to come with me and help me out here tonight.” He walks toward me and put his hands on my shoulders. “And frankly, I underpaid you. Everyone loved you. I knew you’d be good, but you really have a future in this.”
“So I am here on business, then,” I say, searching his face. I want his touch to be reassuring, but it isn’t reassuring at all. My mind is swimming with confusion.
“Yes, you’re here on business. So what? You’re also here as my date. You’re here as my partner. You’re here as someone who has something important to say.”
“Ryan, I don’t know what to think anymore. Am I here as your date as a favor, or because you want me to be?”
His mouth drops open and he erases the distance between us, holding my arms tight and bringing me close. “You’re here as my date because I want you to be.”
I sigh and feel tears forming behind my eyes. Breathing in deeply, I blink them away.
“But I am being paid to be here. That’s the truth, too.”
“Sara, I don’t know what you want me to say. You’re here because I want you to be, and because you want to be here, too. Who gives a shit about the money? I’ll take the five thousand dollars back if it makes you feel any better.”
I laugh, pushing my forehead against his chest and put my fingers onto his stomach, feeling his muscles through his shirt.
“Ryan, I just don’t know what to think. I have to go. I just need to think. Please let me go.”
“Sara, stop.” I feel his hand on my shoulder, but I don’t want him to see my tears. I rush down the street until just the concrete is under my feet, leaving behind the red carpet.
25
Ryan
I’m left dumbfounded. Sara ran away from me, and I don’t know why.
It’s true that I paid her to be here with me, but I did not pay her to be my date. I wanted her to be my date because I’m falling for this girl, and I know she feels the same.
And the money was a bonus for a job fucking well done.
I call after her, but she won’t stop. She keeps running away from me as her shoes move quickly on the pavement.
Grabbing my phone from my pocket, I call ahead to the hotel and ask them to let me know the minute she gets in.
I feel like I’m seeing myself move in slow motion as I go back into the club, two doormen opening the large steel doors for me. A few girls just inside the club run over to me and I pose for a selfie with them.
Making my way back to the stage, I find Lexi there, smiling and tapping something into her phone.
“They’re already saying we’re back together,” she says, shoving her phone into my face. My jaw clenches up and a sick feeling churns inside my chest.
“This was your doing,” I say. “Lexi, did you say something to Sara?”
She comes over to me and drapes her hands around my neck, batting her eyelashes at me and winking.
“I just told her about us. How we used to pretend to date. And I figure that if you’re paying some girl to be here with you, it might as well be me.”
Heat cruises through my body, and I step back, away from her, her venomous eyes trained on me.
“Come on, Ryan. What can she give you that I can’t? And do you even trust this girl? Aren’t all the interns just with you to come to events like this? They all just want a piece of you because of what you represent. You don’t have to worry about that with me, baby. I’m here on my own.”
“Lexi, there is no us. I told you that years ago, and I’m telling you now. Why won’t you get that through your skull?”
She juts out a hip and puts her hand on it, tapping the toe of her stiletto. “Then what are you even doing here, Ryan? I got you to come out here, and now you’re just leaving me again?”
I start to walk away from her, purposeful and driven. I need to talk to Sara. I need to tell her the truth. But something stops me in my tracks. I turn and go back to Lexi, still frozen in place, shocked that she’s been unable to wrap me up in her web again.
“Lexi,” I start, “let’s get something straight. I’m here because I was stupid enough to believe that you changed. That you wanted to do something good. I’m sorry that I made that mistake.”
“She can’t keep up with you, Ryan. She isn’t me. She’ll never be like me.” I hear her voice trail off as I make my way to the exit again, but this time I don’t look back.
Lexi is right. Sara will never be like her.
26
Sara
I slide out of the gold dress Ryan purchased for me and slip it carefully onto its hanger, gathering the garment bag around it and zipping it up slowly. Hanging it in the closet
next to the dress I wore last night, I smooth the bags out with my hand and slide the closet door shut.
“Shit.” Under my breath, I sigh out my frustration and anger, blotting the skin beneath my eyes with two fingers. I won’t cry. I won’t cry over him. I’ve cried over things worse than this. Some rich asshole doesn’t deserve my tears.
Some rich, sexy asshole who I thought I was falling for. Some rich, sexy asshole who has the world at his fingertips, can purchase a jet on a whim over some off-hand comment I made; some rich, sexy asshole who made me feel things no one has been able to before.
Who believed in me, and took a chance on me when I wasn’t sure if I belonged.
I shake my head and laugh. I can’t believe how stupid I was.
I grab my suitcase from the corner of the room and flop it onto the bed, quickly gathering my pajamas and a couple of outfits I’d laid out as options for tomorrow. I should have just kept everything packed away. I knew I wouldn’t be here long.
As I pack, moving around the room, padding into the bathroom to grab my toiletries and stuffing them into a small pouch, I start to think of a plan for how I can move forward.
I’ll just have to go back to Jess and ask her to hook me up with another internship. It’s only a few weeks into the semester, and I’m sure I’ll be able to get something. Or maybe I can just try picking up another class, instead. It’s still add/drop period, so maybe I can get another pre-med class to replace the internship altogether.
Suddenly, medical school is looking a whole lot more attractive. I don’t know why I even thought I’d be able to get involved with all the bullshit that goes along with working for the likes of Ryan Hart.
I don’t know what I’ll tell dad. Maybe I’ll just tell him it wasn’t a good fit. That’s not a lie.
Sitting down on one of the big chairs by the window, I pull back the curtain covering the entire wall from floor to ceiling, and take in the gorgeous view of the city. It truly is an amazing place, and I hope to come here again and maybe stay a while. Next time, I’ll have to pay for my own plane ticket, but that’s okay. I can get here on my own next time.
My thoughts are interrupted by a knock at the door. My stomach drops at the thought it might be Ryan, and I ignore the knocks, turning my attention back to the window.
“Sara, I know you’re in there. Please let me in.”
“Ryan, I don’t feel like talking right now. Please.”
“I can go around and come in through the door between our rooms. Come on.”
“That one’s locked too,” I respond.
“Sara, please.” His voice is tinged with sadness. I go over to the door and unlock it, but I don’t open it. I don’t want to let him in; I just want to allow him to be able to come in if he really insists.
“Thank you,” he says, entering my room and letting the door slam behind him. “Mind telling me what the hell is going on with you?”
“Ryan, I just need time to think. Time to figure out what I’m doing with the show. With you.”
“Does this have something to do with Lexi?” he growls.
“Lexi told me that you guys used to pretend to date. Is that true?”
“God, this is about Lexi.” He tips my chin up and gazes down at me. “It’s not exactly true. It’s partially true. We were together. We worked together for years.” Ryan glides his hands down my arms until his hands are inside his. “We never really pretended to be together, but we didn’t deny it, either. The papers like this kind of thing. They want to see their icons together. I think they just built us up in the public’s imagination. They thought we looked good together. But then Lexi started having feelings for me. When I would go out with other women, I was honest with them. I told them to take a good look at the papers and see if they’d ever seen a picture of me and Lexi holding hands, or kissing, or anything to indicate that we were a real couple.”
“But they couldn’t find any, could they?” I ask.
“No,” he affirms. “They couldn’t. So everything was fine on my end. I thought everything was cool. That was until Lexi started telling her sources, her friends at the papers, that I was cheating on her. That’s when everything started getting all fucked up. That’s why I came out to LA with Kayla. That’s why we dumped our old show and started Dirty After Dark. This was all before smart phones, just prior to the 24 hour news cycle, back in the early 2000s. The media had a shorter memory back then. Back on me and Kayla’s old show, we were just local to NYC. Lexi’s dad was able to set us up with something small out in California, and after we were on our feet, we were able to break ties with the Crafts.”
“Ryan, why didn’t you tell me any of this?” I say.
“It didn’t matter. I tried to tell you as much as I needed to about Lexi, but I didn’t want to get into the details. I’m just sorry she was able to corner you like that.”
“Ryan,” I say, “I feel like you fed me to the wolves back there.”
“Sara,” he responds, “I am so sorry. I should have never let that happen. I should have been more upfront with you. Honestly, I was hoping you’d never find out that Lexi and I used to kind of, sort of pretend to date. I should have brought you into that meeting with me. I thought Lexi would be there. She almost never leaves her dad’s side. If I thought you and Lexi would be alone together…”
I avert his gaze and shrug, giving my suitcase a final zip and hauling it onto the floor.
“You kind of sent me into a buzzsaw back there.”
“I told you she was bad news. And I thought she was going to be in the meeting with me. I never would have let her corner you like that if I’d known she would be running loose at the party. I’m so sorry.”
“She’s right, though.” I put my hands down on the dresser and steady myself. “You paid me to come with you. You asked me to come as your date. It all sounds a little bit too much like a business transaction to me.”
“Sara.” He starts toward me, erasing the distance between us, and grabs my upper arms, turning me to face him. “That’s what you wanted. You wanted to keep things professional. But my feelings for you are real. They’re so fucking real.”
He brings me close to him and my body becomes engulfed by him as our mouths crash together with passion and fire. His kiss, his tongue against mine, sends a flash of heat between my legs.
“Don’t you do that to me again,” he growls, pulling my shirt off. He tosses it behind him onto the bed and pulls his jack off in turn as my fingers struggle against the buttons on his shirt. “You listen to me.” He holds my face to his and gazes deeply into my eyes, my fingers roaming over the rippling muscles in his chest. “There’s nothing I want more than you. Nothing.”
My heart skips inside my chest as he lifts me up by the ass and sits me back down on the dresser, spreading my legs apart and nudging toward me. His hands roam over my body with new intensity, and every inch of my body is on fire.
“Ryan,” I breathe, “I want to know this is real. I don’t want to get my heart broken.”
“I thought you were concerned about your future,” he says, gazing at me intently. “I thought you were afraid of not being taken seriously.”
“That’s not all of it,” I say, hot tears beginning to stream down my face. “I don’t want any more loss in my life. I don’t want to lose you. I didn’t want to get close, because I didn’t want to say goodbye. But I couldn’t help it.”
“I know,” he says, “I know. I couldn’t stay away from you, either. You’re just too smart and gorgeous. And the fact that you didn’t take my bullshit so seriously was one of the things that drew me to you. Sara, you’re the first person to walk through my door and not expect anything. You’re the first girl who really saw me.”
Ryan slowly unbuttons my jeans and I slide off the dresser, letting my feet hit the floor briefly to wiggle out before he pulls me back up to the dresser.
“Sara, I’m falling for you. I can’t let you go. I want this to be real. And I want to prove to you how
much I’m falling in love with you.”
I shut my eyes tightly as his fingers move past my panties to my soaked clit, pulling a low moan from my lips. “You make me want to be better. You make me want to be strong enough to push away the doubt.”
His fingers slowly move past my folds, against my opening, and up into my pussy. He rocks his thumb against my clit as he kisses my neck, my hands exploring his chest, moving lower to his abs.
“You melt away all of my questions, baby,” he whispers. I reach down and unzip his pants, the metallic sound singing through the air, everything heightened and on fire from deep inside us. I take out his dick and palm its length, stroking him as he becomes rock-hard in my hand.
“I have a quick question for you,” I say, smiling as I break our kiss. “How do you tell your boss that you’re falling in love with him?”
“Exactly like that.” He pushes my panties aside and pulls me toward him, his fingers digging deliciously into my ass. “Just like that.”
His thick cock parts the soaking lips of my pussy, and the tip spreads me open, dragging along my inner walls as he pushes farther in, deeper, hitting me to my core.
“You feel so fucking good, baby.” He smiles and his face collapses into my shoulder, his lips landing on my collarbone, kissing and nipping at me as his cock pumps harder in and out of me, impossibly thick and making me squirm with pleasure.
“You do too, sir,” I moan.
Over and over, he pushes his cock into me, making me feel better than I’ve ever felt - bringing me to a new height of pleasure. He moves with all the experience of someone who knows exactly what he’s doing, but he makes love to me like we’re just exploring each other for the first time. It’s familiar and new; it feels right.
Ryan reaches down and circles my clit with his strong fingers, pulling a moan out of my mouth, but quickly extinguishing it with his.
