They walked down the path to Rose’s truck and began unloading items. I wasn’t quite sure what to make of Ray. He fired cannons and made princess crowns? He was a complete enigma but he looked like Santa and I figured that had to be a bonus in the cool column.
Rose came up behind me while I continued to watch Holden and Ray from the porch. She put an arm around me. “Thank you for coming up here Julia. I don’t think I’ve seen Ray in a better mood in a long time.”
“Oh?”
“He spends too much time by himself. Gets too serious. Starts thinking he can push out the world around him. Just now I saw the young man he used to be and I’m thankful that you brought it out in him. He’s still a stubborn old mule but he’s smiling.”
I shrugged. I wasn’t quite sure what to say about it, but I was glad Rose was happy.
The afternoon was spent getting things organized for our stay. Holden looked like he naturally fit into the flow of things. Time seemed to be somewhat relative in the meadow. We ate lunch when we were hungry, we walked when we needed to stretch our legs and it was generally a slow-paced day. I had left my phone in Holden’s Jeep. Normally I might have had it on me, checking it from time to time for news or texts, but the outside world didn’t seem to matter so much when you were enjoying a carefree afternoon in the mountains.
The sound that the wind made through the trees was better than any radio. Watching the sun dance across the stream was better than a movie. Listening to the people around you somehow had more relevance in the quiet environment. It was peaceful. Untouched and unhurried. No schedules to meet other than deciding what you were going to eat later, or if you should fish the next day or not. There was no hurry to it and it affected me in some subtle way. I felt myself relax into it and let it dazzle me with its simplicity. I knew I would miss it when we left.
The day had been warm with the sun up but not exactly hot. I had worn my flannel most of the afternoon. The sun left the meadow earlier than normal and hid behind the massive boulders for a long time as the evening approached.
Holden had briefly shown me the other cabin. It was similar to the other one but actually had a makeshift bathroom. It had been explained to me that the cabins and grounds were built with minimal modern conveniences where possible. There was a shack that had a sawdust toilet in it next to each cabin. Not something I would have ever even known about if I hadn’t used it myself. The waste could then be used in a compost bin but the process was over a year once you started the pile. I didn’t understand all of it but it worked for Ray’s little paradise and that’s all that mattered.
I was hesitant to eat any of his fresh vegetable however, once I found out about the bin. I didn’t smell it. It wasn’t anywhere near the cabins I was told, but the thought of it turned my stomach.
The solar panels generated enough power to light the cabins for a while at night. And were used to run basic electrical needs. They also had two backup generators in case of a dire emergency. Ray was quite the hunter. Although I wasn’t much of a fan, I saw the uses of it as a way of life for him. He didn’t seem to need much either.
When dinner rolled around the air had become noticeably cooler. Ray had built a large fire in a rock lined pit that sat between the cabins. It was fascinating to watch someone grill just about anything you could imagine on a campfire. Although the large iron spit, custom built moveable grill, and several other gadgets that Ray had, certainly helped. He said he was spoiled with them but I couldn’t imagine how else his cooking would have worked.
We were just enjoying the fire when Rose asked, “Julia, will you play something for us?”
I considered it for a moment. The light from the fire was enough that I could see, although most of the songs I played, I knew by heart. I was nervous though. I had played in a lot of different venues but for some reason this place made me feel like I couldn’t possibly produce music that would match the beauty around me.
“Uhm, I don’t know.”
Holden got up and came back with my guitar and a small blue gift bag.
I looked at him curiously. “What’s this?”
He shrugged. “Thought you might need them.”
I opened the bag and there were a few packages of guitar strings. “When did you pick these up?”
“About a week ago.”
It was thoughtful. Very un-Holden if I was just basing my opinion on the man I had first met. The man that was always at work or hiding behind his perpetual scowl. I liked both sides of him but the one I had come to know in the last couple of days was growing on me.
I smiled thoughtfully at him. “Thank you, Holden.”
The side of his mouth tipped up slightly but his eyes wandered around my face as if he was caressing me. Something stirred deep within my chest as I watched him. Something unexplainable and tender.
I took a deep breath and turned to my guitar.
My fingers ran across the strings and I began to tune it. It was slightly off, possibly due to the altitude and I listened for the right sounds as I hummed a note or two to match.
Still tuning I said, “I feel a little silly doing this here.”
“Your voice isn’t silly angel.”
“Any requests?” I asked, not looking up.
“Whatever you would like to play sweetie,” Rose answered.
I thought for a minute. Most of my songs were covers. Acoustic covers in my own style and rhythm but covers nonetheless. I thought about their generation for a moment and decided on a Beatles tune.
“Okay, Beatles it is.”
The song “And I Love Her” started as I picked and strummed. I looked at Rose and her eyes showed a deep delight for my choice. Ray put his arm around her and she leaned in grinning like the song was written just for her. My eyes met hers several times. I ended on a laugh when Ray rolled his eyes and tickled her.
Holden had his arms crossed over his chest staring at me. His face was amused with his parent’s antics but he wasn’t looking at them. He made me nervous and I cleared my throat several times.
Rose finally stopped laughing and started applauding. I gave a short, exaggerated bow.
“Play one for Holden!”
I laughed and started strumming. “Oh, he’ll like this one.”
Skipping the first verse, I went straight to the chorus of “You’re So Vain” by Carly Simon. I narrowed my eyes at him as he threw his head back and laughed. His laughter rolled off the dark meadow, joined by his parents and stoked my own.
I strummed on the guitar a few times playing with some melodies when I sat back down. Holden had moved closer to me so that his hand rested on my back. I took comfort in the nearness of him.
His parents listened to my random playing. They would occasionally pick up on a tune and point out the song.
It was Ray who broke the silence eventually. “You have an incredible gift there, missy. What are your plans?”
I stopped playing and let out a long sigh. “I have no idea. My mom liked music. She always used to sing to me when I was a kid. After she was gone it seemed like the music died in our house. So, I picked up guitar lessons when I was old enough and the singing was always just there. I really just play because I love it.”
“Don’t you think you should share it?”
Rose nudged her husband, “Ray.”
He looked apologetic. “What? Music is so enduring. It’s like your art Rose. It speaks for people who can’t find the words.”
I gave him a small smile. “I don’t think what I do is enduring necessarily. It’s something I do for myself and people just like to listen. It pays some of the bills but I don’t think I’m changing anyone’s life or anything.”
Ray huffed. “Baloney!”
Holden cleared his throat. “Dad, she’s trying to figure it out. There are a lot of other things going on.”
Ray held up a finger. “Okay, I get it. But if you don’t think you’ve ever made a difference by putting something out into the world you’re fooling yourself
. A little lesson on music for both of you.”
“Dad,” Holden mumbled.
Ray smirked. “Oh your old man knows a little about a lot of different things, including what the world can do and can’t. But I see this woman of yours and she has no idea the things she can do. Case in point, music lasts. The song “Somewhere over the Rainbow” was redone over one hundred and fifty times after the original was produced. Why? Because it speaks to something inside of some people in the world and they need to hear it.”
I grinned at him. “Is that your next request?”
“No, but I’ll tell you a few others. Paul McCartney’s “Blackbird Singing in the Dead of Night” spoke to a generation back in the sixties about what was happening in our country and he wasn’t even American. It’s too bad for him but who cares.”
Rose frowned at him. “Don’t pick on Paul hon, I know where you sleep.”
Ray held up his hand in defense. “I’m not, I’m just saying he would have been a better American. Anyway, the songs define an era. They endure. The artists could come and go but you always remember the meanings, how it spoke to you and what it says about the time you’re in. You have a gift, you should share it, however big or small you want to. Hell sing to your children, sing on a world stage but just sing.”
Holden wrapped his arm around my waist. “In other words, don’t become a mountain philosopher that hides away.”
I chuckled.
Ray rolled his eyes. “Son, you kill me. I’m off to bed kids. I have a “Rose in Bloom” that I need to take to bed. See how I did that?”
Rose laughed. “Ray, you’re so cheesy sometimes. Let’s go before you scare her. Night.”
When they walked away Holden stood up and helped me with my guitar. “Going to put this out, then I’ll come to bed with you. My dad is a nut babe. Smart as hell but a nut. You do what you need to do.”
“I get what he meant. He’s sweet.”
Holden gave me a wink. “Sometimes. He’s behaving right now.”
He winced as he bent over and grabbed a bucket of water.
“Does your side hurt?”
He shrugged. “Little sore. Nothing big. Go put that ointment on your arm, it’s in your bag.”
I wandered back to the cabin and did what Holden told me. The night was chilly as I put on my tank and shorts and climbed into the big bed.
He joined me later and pressed his warm body against mine under the covers. The feel of his chest against my back was soothing as I fell asleep to his steady heartbeat.
Chapter Eleven
My eyes opened early in the morning. Holden’s arm was laying over me and he felt like a furnace. There was a stillness to the cabin that you didn’t get in the city. There, you knew that there was always the busy, hustle and bustle of life outside your door. Here, there was only the natural flow of things trying to quietly fight for existence in the world.
I turned in his arms to face him.
His was lax and peaceful. I listened to his steady breathing. He was such a complex person in a lot of ways. It felt like I was the only person who really knew him on different levels. His parents knew him as a son, his co-workers knew him as the hard ass boss. But I also knew him in the intimate way that a lover might. His stubbornness, his humor, his thoughtfulness, and his weaknesses.
We were very different but in some ways the same.
His eyes slowly opened and he looked at me possessively. His hand tightened around me as he pressed his hips into me.
“Tell me you want me,” he whispered.
His mouth found mine and he ran his tongue along my bottom lip. He drew his teeth along it and nibbled. I could feel the heat of him at my belly. Reaching down between I felt him hard and wanting.
He growled and started kissing my neck right below my ear.
“Oh, Holden,” I moaned as he started removing my shorts.
He kissed down my neck, moving my tank out of the way. His mouth found my peaked breast and he sucked on it hard. His hand moved over my belly to cup my mound. He slid a finger down my clit and into me roughly.
“So, wet for me. Baby, tell me you want this. Tell me you want me to fuck you.”
He started thrusting his finger in and out of me while his thumb circled my sensitive nub.
My hand took a hold of him and started squeezing and rubbing in the same rhythm. I felt his precum against the flesh of my palm. His mouth found mine in an insistent kiss. His body moved over mine and between my legs. I spread to accommodate him.
His tongue dove deep before pulling back to bite my lip.
I opened my eyes to look at him. His amber eyes looked into me. It felt like he was looking deep into my core and asking me to stay with him. He was vulnerable, laid bare for once and he wanted me to see him. His entire mask had slipped and I could see the man he was, had been and would be. His flaws, his pride, the things that made him beautiful were all there for me, reaching out.
I was mesmerized by him.
“I want you Holden.”
He blinked once as if relieved by my acceptance. Then I saw the glint in his eye and he gave me a hungry stare. The beast between my legs pressed at my opening.
I was afraid he would hurt me. He was larger than most men and any other that I had known. I started breathing hard with panic and my legs stiffened against him.
As if reading my mind, he said, “Baby, don’t. I’m not going to hurt you. We’ll go slow.”
He hooked a hand underneath me and relaxed slightly against my chest. His mouth very slowly and sweetly began peppering my face with kisses.
His other hand lifted my leg back so he could continue rubbing me at my core. He pressed against me several times as he stoked my fire down below. The feel of him against me, the rubbing of his chest against my nipples, sent wave of pleasure through me.
He rubbed against my entrance again and pressed in slowly.
He was big and I felt myself stretch to let him in. He pulled out and then went in again a little further. My legs wrapped around his hips and my back arched.
“Angel, you’re mine,” he whispered against my lips. “Once I have you, you’re not going anywhere. I won’t let you.”
I kissed him and drove my tongue into his mouth.
He growled and bit my lip.
I was losing control of my senses. “Yours Holden.”
He took a deep breath as if to calm himself. “Can you take more?”
My legs stiffened against him. Was there more? His cock already felt like it was completely full inside of me.
He pressed in further and I felt some pain as he stretched me beyond my limited experience. I could feel him groan deeply.
I whimpered and he kissed me. “Are you okay?”
Nodding I said, “Yeah, I’m good.”
The pain was easing and once again I just felt the pleasure of the connection.
“Just a little more angel. I’m sorry.” He thrust a little harder into me, then out again. He covered my mouth with his and he thrust to the root.
I screamed against him. My nails raked his back and he let out a loud groan.
My body was on fire and the pain was oddly heightening my pleasure.
He moved quicker but carefully inside me. His mouth tore away from me so he could stare down at my face as he drove me to the edge. “That’s right, you scream and claw at me all you want.”
I felt hot and wonton beneath him. My legs were quivering with the need of him and the slow, steady thrusts he planted deep with me. My eyes closed and I started moaning to his rhythm.
His hands were everywhere, massaging, gripping and caging me in. His mouth left wet trails across my neck and face. I could hear our sweaty bodies collide as we slid against each other. His cock was filling me so deeply that my body was being moved inch by inch across the bed.
One of his hands gripped my shoulder to stop my progress and allowed him more leverage. My hands roamed his scarred back, then up to his hair and tugged.
His deep
moan vibrated through me.
He sat back, gripping my hips almost painfully and started pounding me. “Look at me.”
My eyes opened slowly, caught up the ecstasy of the moment.
His face was enveloped in pleasure as he groaned with each thrust. I whimpered and arched my back when the orgasm hit me. It was like a tidal wave that made me clench around him and I screamed out his name. I pounded his arms with my weak fists and my head rolled from side to side.
He dove in and latched onto my neck with his mouth. His cock was scorching hot inside of me and swelling larger.
“Mine!” he yelled.
With only a few more thrusts he slammed me to the hilt, and let out a loud window shaking groan. He was stretching me to my limits and spilled his cum deep within me. I could feel the warmth of it filling me and taking hold.
Shuddering I felt myself squeeze against him, milking him of everything he had left.
He gently kissed the side of my jaw as we lay there spent. He held himself above me on his elbows as his mouth found mine again.
“You’re beautiful Julia.”
I shook my head.
He chuckled and I could feel his cock move within me.
“Yeah, you’re gorgeous. You know it too, otherwise you wouldn’t have worn that fucking dress the other night.”
I grinned. “I just wanted to torture you.”
“It worked,” he said, as he moved his cock around in me in a circle. I could feel it getting hard again.
I moaned against him softly, “Holden.”
“The first time I saw you, I wanted you. But when I heard you sing it was like getting punched in the gut. And even if you didn’t sing or look like an angel, I would still think you were beautiful because of the shit you say and do.”
He slid out of me and flipped my legs so I was laying on my side. He lay down behind me then slid one of his legs between mine and impaled me roughly again.
I lay on one of his arms. His other hand played between my legs. Then up to my nipple and back again. He kissed the back of my neck as I arched against him.
The morning light was streaming through the butter yellow curtains and forming shafts of light on the walls when he brought me to climax again. I sang out his name to the universe in utter joy and he followed me shortly afterward.
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