I looked at Holden. “But why would she do that?”
Holden’s face slipped when he looked at me. His eyes flashed with irritation when he replied. “Because you’re talented and have the voice of an angel. She knows she can make a profit off that and she has Roger pushing her along. In a nutshell, Roger wants the contract by consent but since you weren’t playing ball with them when they tried to sign you, Allison took it upon herself to get rights in a different way.”
Brock added, “It means you can’t sing or perform without consent under your current name. She would have to approve.”
My stomach felt sick. I felt the blood drain from my face. My sister had screwed me over. She wasn’t always the most likeable person but she was my sister. I had actually felt sorry for her when she had dumped Roger over the party fiasco. The look on her face had been heart-wrenching when I had told her.
I looked into Holden’s eyes and let out a small whimper.
He grabbed me around the waist and lifted me into his lap. I heard him move the camera away. I laid my head into his solid chest and started to cry quietly. He rubbed my back and planted small kisses along my cheek.
“It’s going to be okay,” he whispered. “I’m going to fix this. I told you I already had something in mind before we knew this was a problem.”
Brock interrupted, “Hey guys?”
“Give us a minute Brock,” Holden barked.
“Well the feed is going out. Is Julia sitting in your lap?”
Holden reached behind me and growled, “Yeah Brock, can you give us a fucking minute?”
I heard Brock whistle and start laughing.
Aiden chuckled, “Good luck man. Contact us about those papers. We need them asap if things are good. I’ll need to pull some strings to get it done. Does your dad mind visitors?”
Holden grumbled, “I’m sure he’ll make an exception. It’s snowing up here though, so I might have to go down the hill to fill stuff out.”
Brock was still amused when he replied, “Yeah let us know there, teddy bear.”
Holden slammed the phone down and sighed.
I looked up at him and giggled a little between sniffing.
“I really hate him.”
I reached up to play with the goatee on his face. “No, you don’t.”
He nipped at my fingers. “Okay, I really want to shoot him in the leg.”
His hand came up and brushed over my face, catching a tear below my eye. Then he leaned in, kissed the tip of my nose, and trailed soft kisses over my cheek.
He opened his mouth to say something then closed it again.
Standing up, he took me with him to the bedroom. He laid me down on the pillows and sat beside me. He continued to touch my face and run his fingers over my hair.
He cleared his throat. His eyes looked clouded in thought. “Listen, I need to tell you something. I hope it doesn’t upset you. It seems like it will and I don’t know how else to explain. Just remember I’m right here and nothing is ever going to hurt you again.”
I looked at him questioningly. “Okay?”
“Promise me you’ll think about it.”
“Uhm. Okay.”
“That night,” he hesitated. “Do you remember that night when you were singing on the porch at Aiden’s lake house?”
I nodded. I was afraid of the dark past he was bringing up. A shiver ran through me but I concentrated on his fingers gently playing with my hair.
“You were singing. I think Liv was more like croaking. She has a terrible singing voice. One of the guys had reported that you ladies were drunk and still up past midnight. I could have sent someone else. Maybe I should have, but I wanted to see you. I had thought about you a lot. Wanted to apologize. Fuck, I don’t know. I was angry about the club thing and it had nothing to do with ditching Jake. I was mad because some jackass touched you.”
“Yeah, I remember. You threatened to beat him to death.”
“I was pissed. Didn’t have my head on straight that night because of the way you looked. Lost my temper in front of my guys over something that had absolutely nothing to do with work. I should have sent someone else to check on you at the lake house but I couldn’t. I wanted to get under your skin. I wanted to irritate you and poke at you until you said anything to validate how I felt about it. Maybe have you claw into me or tell me to fuck off. I don’t know.”
My hand reached up and moved his palm to my lips. I planted a kiss on his flesh and watched as his eyes shadowed slightly.
“I went up there and you were singing. It’s the first time I had heard you sing. It completely knocked me for a sucker punch. You were so beautiful just sitting there grinning and laughing, playing your heart out. Then I got there and you got pissed and left. I don’t even remember if I said anything. Liv called me something and I got a driver for you. Then when we chased Liv to the house the next day and—”
“Just tell me,” I whispered.
He shook his head. “I looked through that house ready to kill someone, angel. I tore it apart. When I saw blood all I could think about was your voice singing. Your eyes, the way you moved, that grin you get when you’re being a little shit. I wanted to kill someone. It broke me. I’ve been shot and run over. I think Brock tried to poison me once. The guys all think I’m invincible, Mr. Iceman, unbreakable. But the thought of you in danger just broke me.”
I frowned at him. This wasn’t what I expected to hear from him. At all. It would have never occurred to me that the Holden I knew a year ago, could ever be affected the way he was saying. He was a rock. Steady. The only man I knew that I could honestly see walking into danger with a grimace on his face, two bazookas and a shitload of guns. He was like some superhero action guy that slung his brash comments without care.
I had gotten to know a different Holden over the last few days, but the Holden of old had seemed so invincible, just as he had said.
He let out a frustrated sigh. “Anyway, that was the second time I let my personal feelings override my job. Instead of going back to the lake house, I delayed. I needed to find some answers so I started digging in all the wrong places at the precinct. I should have just gone back. I should have known.”
I didn’t feel panicky at all. For once, thinking back on that time didn’t cause me to crash into pieces. It was entirely because Holden was taking me there and nothing else. Those scars still weren’t healed but the memories didn’t bother me as much with him near me.
“It wasn’t your fault Holden. You couldn’t have known.”
He eyed me and gave me a disheartened look.
“If I had sent someone else up to the lake house that night, you would have stayed. You wouldn’t have gone home. None of it would have happened. It was my fault because I wanted you and I wanted you to notice me. The real me, not the one at work. I wanted to be just as much alive for you, as your singing and laughing. It was my fault.”
A tear slid down my cheek. My heart hurt for both of us. If I hadn’t left, this could have been different but I had been closed off to listening to my own attraction to him.
I sighed. “Holden—”
“Wait, just listen. There’s a reason why I’m tell you this now. Because it’s relevant. I worked through a lot of things while you were gone. Oddly, you inspired me when I saw you out in Cali at that concert. I thought if you were happy then I could be happy. The thing is though, I was miserable. Then I heard you were coming back. So I bought you a present and I was going to ask you on a real date but you sort of ran into my arms a little sooner than I had planned.”
He sat up and looked at me seriously. “I wasn’t sure what was going to happen up here with you. Well I knew we were going to fuck like bunnies but—”
I smacked him on the arm.
He laughed, then leaned in and kissed me. Leaning back a little he looked into my eyes and around my face. “What I didn’t expect was to fall in love with you on that damn sidewalk in the rain. Or maybe just to realize that I had been for a whil
e. To have you right there. Needing me. And I was able to give that to you as a man. Not as the guy that was on the job. Just me. It made everything worth it.”
My stomach clenched and I inhaled deeply. All I could smell was his musky scent surrounding me. A different kind of tear slipped from my eye. He leaned in and kissed it away.
He sat me up in bed a little more and faced me. His eyes were focused and drilling into mine. He gave me a small smile.
“So, you can’t sing under your name because of all this bullshit with your sister. Fuck her. I was talking to my mom about something before you and dad decided to build bombs.”
He swallowed and continued, “I would like you to marry me. I was going to actually take you on a few dates, get you piss drunk and tie you to my bed. Probably use a whole lot more blackmail but I’m thinking this might be a good time too.”
I opened my mouth to answer and only a squeak came out.
Oh, my gawd.
My mind was trying to wrap around what he had said.
“Oh, and I have a prenup agreement that Aiden sent to mom’s house. It’s to protect your assets. I don’t have much but what’s mine is yours. You, though, might make it big someday if want to so I think it would be good for you.”
I squeaked again and cleared my throat. “No prenup.”
He laughed and kissed my face. “Yeah, babe. A prenup. That way you know I want to marry you for you and not whatever you might become. Any good lawyer would advise you to do it at this point. Aiden said it was the best thing to do and he’s my best friend.”
“Then no.”
Holden rolled his eyes. “Julia, don’t be ridiculous. The papers are down at mom’s house. We need to sign them and fax them back. Aiden has some clerk that can give us a license and we can get married before we have to wade into all this bullshit when we get back. I think we should go back soon, so you can declare independence from your previous work and not get tangled into some weird shit with your music. Aiden is setting it up.”
“No. I’ll marry you without it though.”
He sighed and ran his hand down his face. He looked uncharacteristically tired for once.
“What am I going to do with you?”
I smiled at him. “Marry me apparently.”
“I need to get down to mom’s house. This snow probably won’t be that bad so I would like to get down there and have him send me what he needs for the license.”
“I thought we had to go into a courthouse for that?”
“Yeah well, guess it’s good to be a billionaire’s best friend. I have no idea what he’s cooked up but he said something about visitors and we needed some documentation. If you’re not signing the prenup, which I’ll just add again that you need to, then we need some other things. I’m assuming birth certificates and social security cards. Fuck, I’ve never been married. I have no clue.”
I laughed and grabbed his face. “Okay, go get what you need but it’s getting dark out.”
He kissed my lips and pinned me to the bed with his body. “Come hell or high water, I’m driving back up here tonight to fuck you senseless and make you sign a damn prenup.”
I moaned into his mouth. “Hurry.”
He laughed and stood up, looking down at me. “You’re beautiful.”
I rolled over on the bed and watched him walk out. I was such a pushover. The guy says marry me and I do it. I should have at least held out for .50 machine gun privileges.
Hmm.
He came back in and threw his phone on the bed. “Keep it. Yours is in the Jeep. I’ll call you when I get there. Should be about forty-five minutes. Just talked to Aiden and he’s sending the documents now.”
“Sure, honey.”
He grabbed his side and winced again.
I sat up and looked at where he was grabbing. The same side as his wound.
Walking over I said, “Shirt up.”
“It’s nothing. Just a little tender.”
“More tender than it was when we were at your mom’s house?”
I grabbed the edges of his shirt and lifted carefully. He nodded and hissed as he stretched his arms up to pull it off his head.
The gauze covering his stitches looked off color.
I started peeling the tape. “Did you clean this and when?”
“This morning, it’s just a little tender. I think I tore a stitch the other day chopping wood for mom. Or today. Several times. It’ll heal up.”
I peeled back the gauze which was sticking to him because it had puss and blood on it. The wound looked not only angry but the surrounding skin was red and irritated even outside of the bandage.
“Holden, this is infected.”
“No babe. It was just a scratch anyway.”
I scowled at him and put my finger in his face. “Sit down and chill out. You have an infection. You’re not going anywhere tonight.”
He sat down on the edge of the bed and looked like he’d been scolded.
Good. Serves him right.
The water in the pot on the stove was still hot. I grabbed it and set it on the kitchen table. I was rummaging through the cabinets looking for a first aid kit or some alcohol.
I heard a crash from the bedroom and jumped.
Holden.
Chapter Thirteen
He was laying on his back when I found him. Crumpled in a way like he had tried to stand up. My heart leapt into my throat.
I bent down and saw that he had passed out. He was heavy but I managed to move his legs and arms into a better position. I felt is forehead. It was hot to the touch.
“Oh, you stupid man! Of course the day someone proposes to me he has to pass out. This is SO my life Holden! You’re not getting out of this!”
I tried reviving him by patting his cheeks. Gently at first then a little more insistently.
What do I do here? Think, think, think!
I ran back to the living room and opened the door. The snow outside wasn’t particularly thick but it was blowing like crazy and the cabin across the way was dark.
I slammed the door shut and found the coat Rose had let me borrow. It was about three sizes too big but it was warm. I ran out into the snow and nearly lost sight of Ray’s house because of the wind. It was blowing snow in all different directions, including up from the ground, which made my progress slow. I just kept my eyes exactly on where I had seen the outline of the roof from the door.
I tripped on the stairs to their porch when I finally made it and lost my footing. My chin hit the planks and I felt a sharp sting. My mind blocked it out and I crawled up the steps to bang on the door.
I heard Ray inside shouting. He flung back the door with a shotgun in his hand. I burst out into tears and started pointing back the way I came. He grabbed me out of the cold and hauled me inside.
“Holy hell, missy! What’s happened! You’re bleeding all over the place.”
Rose came out of the bedroom in a robe and gasped. “Julia, what’s wrong? Where’s Holden?”
I looked down and there was blood dripping onto her coat. The cut at my chin was bleeding like crazy. “He’s in the bedroom. His wound is infected. He’s passed out. I need a first aid kit.”
Ray sat me down in a chair at the kitchen table and brought me a clean washrag to hold against my chin. “You need a first aid kit yourself. I’ll go check on Holden, see what’s wrong.”
I got up and followed him to the door. “No, I’m going with you.”
His eyebrows shot up. “Are you insane? Are my grandchildren going to inherit a crazy gene? Get back in that chair!”
I hauled the door open and stepped out into the wind. I could see our cabin lit from the inside because I had left the front door open and the faint lights were on.
Ray grabbed me. “Julia go back in!”
I could barely hear him above the cacophony of howling wind through the meadow.
“No, that’s my fiancé in there and I’m not going to let him die!”
He shook his head and follo
wed me out.
We made our way to our cabin a little quicker than my previous journey. When we got inside I led Ray to the bedroom immediately. He felt around on his head and tried shaking him.
We both looked at the wound together.
“Yeah, it’s infected and he’s running a high fever. We can clean it but he needs to get to a doctor for some antibiotics. Had something like this happen once with bandsaw wound. If Rose hadn’t shoved me in the car I’m not sure I would have made it.”
“Ray I think I should call the cavalry. All three of us can’t possibly lift him and that thing you call a road out there was bad enough without the snow.”
He rubbed the back of his neck. “I could drive it but I think you may be right about getting him in the truck. I’m just not as young as I used to be.”
I put a hand on his back. “Can I please call someone?”
He looked resigned and nodded his consent.
Holden’s phone was on the bed so I grabbed it. It wasn’t password protected so I started scrolling through his contacts. My eyebrow raised at the number of female names in his list. I found Brock’s number first and dialed it.
“Hey dickface,” he answered.
“Uhm no, it’s Julia.”
“Oh! Sorry about that. What’s up? Where’s Holden? Please tell me you killed him.”
“He’s sick. Really, really sick. His wound is infected and he’s passed out. It’s snowing outside and the wind is crazy. I haven’t killed him and I would like for him to keep living. Please tell me I called the right person to help.”
“Hold,” was all he said.
I heard a clicking sound and acoustic music came on. It was the kind of music that made you want to hang up after being on hold for too long. Somebody had put together a keyboard rendition of a Black Eyed Peas song. It was awful. I hoped when people listened to my music they didn’t want to stab their eardrums out half as much as I wanted to right now.
I tapped my fingers on the bed and sighed.
Ray was hovering over Holden, trying to clean some of his would with some fresh gauze and some ointment out of the first aid kit.
“Still with me?” I heard Brock say.
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