by A. Vers
I kiss the end of her nose and her cheeks turn rosy.
Fuck.
I shift on the swing. “Nothing negative. No. Just …” I fall silent.
How the hell am I supposed to say this?
She pulls back, her little hand gripping mine. “T? Your scent is weird.”
A low groan threatens to spill from me. I pull my hand free and grip her cheek, and she leans into the touch. “I need to tell you something. But I don’t know where to start.”
Her mouth mottles. “This was too much, wasn’t it? Too fast? Bringing you here?” She moves back on the swing and I can damn near see her open expression cloud and close down.
My fucking heart leaps into my ribs. “No, kitten. It’s not that.”
Double fuck.
I grip her hands again, and though she doesn’t pull back, her pulse is wild in my ears.
“Woman, what do you think I’m going to tell you?” I ask as gentle as I can. But her damn worry is fucking feeding mine. And I don’t like her pulling away. At all.
She bites her lush bottom lip. “I don’t know, T. I don’t know if you’re fixing to bail or …”
I stare at her. Then I laugh.
Her head whips over with a glower and it’s the sexiest fucking thing in the world. My angry kitten is fierce. A true huntress.
I slip my arms around her and lift her easily before setting her in my lap. She makes a sound of surprise but doesn’t pull away.
Boxing her in, I nuzzle the side of her neck, cheek, and bare shoulder. “Woman, I have already told you once. Get used to my scent. It’s not going anywhere.”
She shivers.
The motion rubs her full ass over my cock and my already swollen body hardens more.
Her lips part and gold light fills her eyes.
I press my mouth to her ear. “Do you understand, kitten?” I grind my hips into her. “I fucking want you more now than earlier. So good fucking luck on getting rid of me.”
Her heart speeds in my ears and I swear she fucking grows warmer. Hotter.
“Then what’s wrong?” she demands. “And don’t tell me nothing. You smell like burnt peppers.”
My lips tremor. “That’s because I’m fucking worried, kitten. Worried that you will run.”
She rocks back, eyes wide, but that gorgeous sea-green again. “What?” Her lithe body turns and she straddles my lap.
I growl as her heat fits over me like a fucking blanket.
“Why would I run, Tanner?” she asks. “I know what you do for a living. I know what you are. What else is there?”
My eyes lock in hers.
There is so much focus in her gaze. Some of it is the turn to shifter, but the rest is just solely Nisha.
I slide my hands onto her hips. Every touch is two part. Keeping her against me and just needing to touch her. “You know I left Silver Rock?” I ask finally.
Her cheeks color. “Yeah. Right before your last fight with Callus.”
“More or less.” I exhale in one hard push. “No one knows why. Not even Ruin or the guys.”
She frowns. “Okay.”
“When I was seventeen, I met a girl in town. Isabelle. She was human and smart. Pretty.” She stiffens a bit, but doesn’t speak. “I wasn’t as careful as I am now. Wasn’t as concerned with tomorrow or how the fuck I was going to get to see another damn day.”
“We screwed around when she could get away to meet me, and I swore I was in love.”
Nisha smirks. “Teenagers.”
I roll my eyes and grip her hips harder. “Yeah well. She wound up pregnant.”
The smile on her face cracks and fades. Fast. She sits up in my hold, her eyes wide as the first thread of understanding filters into her gaze.
“Yours?” she asks simply.
I nod.
She exhales and the sound is shaky. “Okay.”
“I never lied to her about what I was. Who.” That old pain flares again and my fingers dig into Nisha’s soft skin. “The night I was supposed to battle Callus for the pack, she went into labor almost a month and a half early.”
That spark of understanding grows brighter in her gaze. “You went to the hospital?”
I nod, or try to. But my fucking throat tightens and I can’t fucking breathe. Nisha scoots into my front, rubbing her hands over my chest as a low sympathetic sound spills from her body.
“It was a fucking shit show,” I mutter. “Her parents flipped out and tried to have me removed from the hospital. Isabelle wanted me there. Wanted me with her. And I couldn’t leave her, track?”
Nisha remains silent as her small hands soothe the man as much as the beast. I wrap my arms around her and she leans against my chest, holding me just as tight.
“They had to do an emergency c-section. Said there was a complication,” I continue. “They wouldn’t let me in with her. Wouldn’t allow me in the room. I waited for hours for someone to tell me something. Anything.”
“No one came. No doctors. No nurses.” I can still see the damn too bright corridor with the small green chairs every time I close my eyes. I can hear the quiet of the clock on the wall and the blood roaring in my ears.
“Isabelle delivered my son and I never knew. Never got to see him.” Every inch of my body shakes and my hands convulse. “With my blood, the baby should have survived. Should have been strong. Fierce. Even without shifting, he should have been able to make it.”
Something hot flows down my face, but I barely feel it. “It wasn’t until the security guards asked me to leave that I knew. Knew that our baby didn’t make it. And I knew Isabelle blamed me.”
I close my eyes. “She had every right to. If I was human, maybe …”
Nisha sits up fast and my eyes jerk open as her small hands grip my face. “Tanner. No,” she says fiercely. “It wasn’t your fault. It wasn’t Isabelle’s fault. Sometimes that just happens. It fucking sucks and it breaks your fucking heart. But I have delivered more than my share of preemies in the back of a squad or in a civilian whip. Some survive. Some don’t. But it wasn’t your fault, do you understand?”
I stare at her.
Her hands tighten. “Answer me.”
“Nisha—”
“No,” she says again. “I’m sorry you lost your son. I can’t begin to understand what you have endured since then. That …” Her head shakes. “But it wasn’t your fault.”
Her heartbeat is steady in my ears. Sure.
I slide my hand into her hair. “Thank you.” It seems paltry. Insubstantial.
“I have blamed myself for years. Blamed my beast and even the pack.” My head shakes. “That night I left the hospital and left Fallen Ridge at the same time. I never returned. Never told anyone goodbye. I took the money in my wallet and just fucking left.”
“I knew Callus would take the pack. Knew he would lead them because I couldn’t. And I spent weeks on a fucking bender, wallowing in grief until I wound up in Lock Lake with my hands cuffed to a chair and a black eye from a fight with a vampire captain.”
My lips curve at the memory. “Ruin took me to Marcus and Marcus offered me life in the coven. A life with a family that wasn’t my own but that would eventually become mine.” I sigh. “I’ve been third in command for two years. Theta to one of the best men I’ve ever had the honor of knowing. Gage is like my fucking brother, and even Horan and now Caine are like pack.” That reality makes me swallow hard. “They are my fucking family.”
She scours my face. “You deserve to have family, Tanner. It wasn’t your fault. And I will say that as many times as I have to in order for you to get it through your fucking thick ass head.”
We watch each other and her words hang in the silence like a promise.
My eyes dart over her face and I can’t fathom the need. The want to have her with me. Like this. As often as I can fucking manage.
My beast rolls through me, and I know what he wants.
He wants her just as much as I do.
Mate.
The title leaves me quaking and my palms slick.
It’s a forever kind of deal. Shifters only mate once and unless she dies …
That thought makes my heart stop fucking beating, and I suddenly understand the pain Ruin felt weeks ago when Lilah died. It’s fucking consuming.
I’d kill to stop it. To protect her.
Fuck.
I grip her face in my hands and kiss her as hard as I dare. Inside my gut fucking clenches and my cock fucking drips. But it’s more than lust. It’s the start of something that I have no real experience with.
I’ve never let myself love since Isabelle. But with Nisha …
I could.
She lifts up in my arms, slipping her hands into my hair as she licks across my bottom lip. I open fast, letting her tongue tease mine until my body coils and my hands tighten in her skin to keep from ripping off her clothes.
“Fuck, woman,” I growl, pulling back. “Keep it up and I’m taking you now.”
Her lips curve against mine. “Promise?”
I growl.
The sexy sound of her laughter makes my eyes glow.
There is no way I can walk away from her. That I can leave her.
So when it’s time to go back to Lock Lake, how the fuck am I supposed to let her go?
Chapter 46
Nisha
We leave Mom’s after true dark and make our way back to the campground. After Tanner’s kisses in the swing, I’m more than ready for some alone time with him.
I peer at his side profile in the dimness of the Jeep as he drives.
Mom seemed to genuinely like him. Which is unheard of for her. But Tanner, despite his rough edges, is almost southern gentleman perfect.
So much about him now makes sense, but it also makes me ache deep inside for him. And not where I am used to aching.
He was seventeen when he lost his kid and his girl in one go. That kind of thing does shit to your head. It fucks you up inside and out, and if not for Ruin and the others … Where would Tanner be now?
“You’re staring at me,” he says into the stillness before peering at me.
“Would you prefer me not to gaze at you in adoration?” I bat my lashes at him.
His sexy lips curve in that roll that is all Tanner. My stomach fucking heats.
Damn it, man.
“Adoration, huh?”
I nod. “Lots of adoration. And horniness.”
He laughs, and the dimple in his cheek makes a bright appearance. The man is too fucking hot for his own good.
“So …” I say, clearing my throat at the wash of need. “Candy skulls and shamrocks. Story there too or do you just like them?”
His gray eyes glint. “Family is an eclectic mix of Irish, Hispanic, and White.” He flicks the directional. “You noticed Silver Rock is pretty diverse too. Most of the bloodlines that have been there since the beginning are still present.”
He turns off the highway. “I got the tattoos not long after I joined the coven. Figured I should always have a fucking reminder of what I came from. Who I came from.”
“Do you still talk to any of them?” I ask. “Your family.”
“Parents moved to Texas after Callus took the pack. Dad said he couldn’t be at Silver Rock with someone else’s son on the throne. Mom died a few years later. Doctors ruled it as a heart attack.”
Another wave of pain flows through me. “And your dad?”
“Dad has a ranch out there. Stays beast more than human and blames me for mom’s death. I went out there once after I joined Lock Lake. To explain. It didn’t go well, and we haven’t spoken since.”
I lay my hand on his knee.
He shrugs like it’s no big deal, but there is a tension to him now. A pain.
“Tanner …”
He grips my hand, raises it to his mouth, and kisses my knuckles. “Marcus has been like a father to me for almost ten years. Ruin too. Am I saying I won’t ever try to reach out to my biological? No. But for now, I know he is alive and that’s good enough.”
We fall silent.
“I put in for medical leave.” The words slip out before I can stop them.
He glances over. “What?”
“This morning, I put in for medical leave from the station. So much has happened. I think … I think I need a few extra days. Just to get my head on right and figure out my next step.”
His jaw ripples. “Is that going to cause problems for work?”
“Maybe down the road.” I shrug. “But I can’t focus on calls. I can’t give the city the attention it needs with everything still weighing on me.”
“The attack?”
“That’s there. And eventually I will probably have to talk to someone about it.” His hand tightens around mine. “Knowing the rogue is dead helps.” My heart slams and I peer sideways at him. “But I also know that if he hadn’t attacked me, I wouldn’t have met you.”
“Nish—”
“I just got out of a really fucked up relationship, T. Chuck cheated. More than once.” I swallow. “But being around you …”
His features damn near soften. “I know.”
I look at him. “You do?”
“I have been raking my fucking brain for hours to figure out how I can be with you longer. If I can send the team back ahead of me and take a few extra days. If I should ask you to come over this weekend.”
My breath clogs my throat. “You have?”
He nods, his lips pulling. “My cat wants you as much as I do. And even with my scent spilling from your fucking pores, I want to mark you again. Already.”
That throb between my thighs grows. “I want you too.”
His teeth bare as he inhales sharply of my scent. He pulls off on the side of the deserted road and slams the Jeep into park and shuts it off. “Fuck, woman.”
I can only nod, body weeping and rippling for him.
He slides the seat all the way back and unzips his jeans. “Now.”
I climb over the console and straddle his lean waist. One massive hand rips the crotch of my shorts away and my body jerks. He slips a finger inside me and growls.
With surprisingly gentle movements, he rolls his hips up, seating himself deep inside me as spice fills the air.
My eyes flutter closed and my head falls back. He rocks me over him, using his tremendous strength to shift me back and forth.
Every damn glide is torture. His breathing grows ragged and I know the minute his barb drops because he jerks inside me. The beast inside me arches, and I follow suit, taking him deeper.
“Come to Lock Lake,” he grunts. “Please.”
My eyes fly wide. “What?”
He palms my face, his silver eyes unbearingly hot and so damn bright. “Come with me, Nisha. Just for a little while.” My heart pounds in the stillness. “I know it’s fucking sudden and insane. But I want to wake up with you in my fucking arms. I want to do this,” he rolls his hips and my body creams, “every fucking day.”
“Tanner … My job is here. My mom.”
He nods, expression stark. “And when you come back, I will too. Somehow. Even if I have to take time off. I just want you with me, Nisha.”
I stare down at him, the suddenness and the impracticality of it beating at me. But it is distant. Far away.
Chuck feels like a lifetime ago. Not weeks. But years.
Tanner’s presence in my life has turned it upside down and inside out, but it feels so fucking right.
Being a shifter with him, riding him just like this …
I want his silver eyes to be the last thing I see when I go to bed and the first thing I see in the morning. I want to learn to hunt with him. I want to run with him.
I fucking want him.
The swirl of emotion is so strong it takes my breath. I capture his face between my hands and nod, eyes growing damp. “Yes. A million times over, yes.”
For a beat, he only stares at me, lips parting. Then he crushes my mouth with his and works me feverishly over his b
ody. The rhythm is hard and fast, imprinting his scent—his touch—in me until I know I will never get him out.
And I don’t want to.
When my body begins to clench around him, he holds me to his chest, his pace slowing and drawing out my release as he ripples and heats inside me. We climax together and I hold on to him for dear life.
Because now that I have felt this, I have no intention of ever letting any of it go.
Chapter 47
Tanner
Nisha and I pull back out onto the road. There is a lightness to my fucking body that I don’t think I have felt in years.
She’s coming to fucking Lock Lake.
I want to roar. To bellow the feelings inside of me until even Callus fucking hears it at Silver Rock.
She peers over at me with a smile, a pair of scrounged gym shorts on her supple legs instead of the denim ones I ripped.
Our scents mingle inside her Jeep and it only makes that warmth in my fucking gut grow. The woman is mine.
Mine.
The low rev of a car engine reaches my ears. My eyes dip to the rearview, and my smile begins to fade.
An older model SUV is right on our bumper, the vehicle moving a bit too fucking fast for the worn out road.
I frown and roll down the window to motion the car to go around.
The vehicle rocks forward and taps the Jeep. Nisha squeaks and my hands quickly grip the steering wheel.
“The fuck?” I snarl.
Another rev has my blood turning to ice. The SUV clips the back bumper and keeps pushing. We careen over the blacktop.
“Hold on,” I snap, and lay my foot on the gas as I give the wheel a gentle guiding turn.
We rocket forward and straighten out with a screech, putting distance between the SUV and the Jeep.
Nisha turns in her seat, and her heart is fast in my ears. “They’re still behind us.”
I grit my teeth. “I know.”
“Theories?” she asks.
I grip the wheel hard enough it groans. “One. But I don’t like it.”
She peers at the side of my face. “What do we do?”
“You got your phone?” She nods. “Call mine.”
