“Oh, Kahtar!” Beth scooted closer to wipe away his tears. “And here I was so afraid to tell you!”
“Afraid to tell me what?”
“Okay, don’t freak. I’ve had a few hours to think about this, and here’s the thing—sometimes in life we just have to accept. It’s better to accept and move forward than to have a fit about something we can’t change anyway. Can you agree with that?”
“Yes, but what exactly are you trying to say?”
She took a deep breath. “I’m pregnant.”
For a moment Kahtar’s mind skidded to a complete stop, as though all the gears had been churning forward in high speed and needed to divert down an unknown path he hadn’t even known existed. It took him awhile to find it.
But he did find it, and panicked. “Old Guard!” he shouted.
“Kahtar, no! Don’t panic,” said Beth, but their light had already filled the room as three of them lit into being. Two were shimmering knee deep inside the bed, only half materialized.
A gruff voice sounded down the hallway. “Who’s that? Bethy! What’s going on?”
Kahtar sensed Ted White scrambling out of bed. He jumped to his feet and grabbed his gear and Beth’s phone off the nightstand. “Take us to wherever Welcome Palmer is,” he ordered. “Quickly.”
Two Old Guard reached for Beth, who pressed against the headboard in a futile attempt at escape. A twinge of pity struck Kahtar. Sometimes he forgot how terrifying Old Guard could be. The third man touched Kahtar’s shoulder as Ted White turned the door handle and they all vanished.
THE OLD GUARD let go of Kahtar’s shoulder before his feet hit the floor. He landed roughly, almost dropping his duty belt and Beth’s phone.
He couldn’t think straight. The simple fact that two Old Guard had transported Beth confirmed her assertion of pregnancy. One for each heart. Kahtar had believed her from the moment the words left her lips, but somehow the Old Guard’s knowledge made his hands and feet ice cold with fear.
She’s having my baby.
Beth wrapped her arms around herself, shivering, and sank to the carpeted floor.
“Palmer!” Kahtar shouted for the clan doctor and bent over Beth. “Shake it off. You’ll get used to the Old Guard’s touch.”
Without raising her head Beth made a vulgar hand gesture.
He straightened. “Palmer! Get up!”
“I’m up!” Welcome Palmer appeared in the doorway of his bedroom rubbing his eyes, clad only in pajama bottoms. “What’s going on?”
Beth’s teeth chattered as she answered, “My husband just ruined what should have been the most beautiful moment of our lives, that’s what’s wrong! Is there a cure for that?”
“Beth’s pregnant!” Kahtar linked his hands behind his head and began pacing.
Welcome hurried to Beth and crouched at her side. “She is, but barely—it’s very early. Beth, I’m surprised you even noticed.” He chuckled, pulled Beth to her feet and wrapped an arm around her. “It doesn’t matter when or how you tell the father though. I don’t know why but it always seems to come as a surprise to us men. Come sit down.” He led her to the sofa as a light lit the room, brightening in gentle increments as their eyes adjusted.
Welcome motioned for Kahtar to sit too, but Kahtar knew sitting still would take his fear to madness.
“Now why is this pregnancy an emergency worthy of Old Guard transport in the middle of the night? There’s absolutely nothing wrong that I can sense.”
“I’m sterile,” said Kahtar. “Does that make it a bit more noteworthy?”
Welcome looked from Kahtar to Beth, his dark brows raised over green eyes. He yanked a throw off the back of the couch to wrap around her. “What exactly are you saying, Kahtar?” He pressed his hand against Beth’s pelvis and scanned; an act which Kahtar would be perfectly capable of doing if his hands weren’t shaking so badly. He stopped pacing and waited.
Welcome looked at him. “She’s further along than I first thought. It’s a perfectly healthy division of cells—Beth’s and yours.”
“Mine?” Kahtar snapped.
Welcome’s green eyes took on an angry light, but he kept his voice light. “Yes, Warrior Chief, yours. Constantine DNA mixed perfectly with Beth’s.” He turned his focus to Beth. “Are you nauseous? You’re going to want to eat a bit more often.”
Beth turned her glare from Kahtar and nodded. “A bit queasy, but I will.”
“Palmer!” Kahtar said, interrupting Welcome as he launched into an explanation of the right food for a queasy stomach. There were more important questions to answer.
“Kahtar,” Welcome said through clenched teeth, “obviously you’re not sterile. What made you think you were?”
Thousands of years of sterility!
Kahtar took a deep breath and swallowed. After examining his own body over the centuries, he knew that had always been the case. He had long ago given up the idea or possibility of children. If Beth had conceived, he needed to know if something had changed.
Or if this is something worse.
He had to ask now. It would be unbearable to wait until the baby came to be certain. “You once told me you can scan light inside DNA, and everyone has colored lights inside them. Are those lights a genetic phenomenon or more individual? Do children have the same color lights parents do?”
Welcome blinked at him, his anger gone. “It has a basis in genetics; certain color combinations of parents can produce differing results. But like I told you then, you’re the only—regular person—I’ve ever known to have white light. Beth’s is blue and yellow, very distinct and separate. It never mixes together and turns green.” He turned his attention to scanning Beth, frowned, and looked back at Kahtar questioningly.
“What color is the baby’s light?” Kahtar’s voice came out so hoarse he cleared his throat.
Palmer’s eyes widened and something like understanding lit in them, but he didn’t press for details. He never did, another reason why Kahtar always sought him out when he needed help.
“You’re being a jerk,” Beth interrupted. “I don’t know what I expected, but it wasn’t to be hauled around the state by Old Guard. This is happening, Kahtar. None of your carrying on will change what’s already happened. Is the idea that this baby will be like you really the worst thing that could happen? Because that’s how you’re acting.” Her sky blue eyes were on him, unwavering. Kahtar ignored the fact Welcome was watching them and gave Beth one curt nod, wondering if she really had no understanding of what immortality had done to him.
She lifted her chin. “What could be better than a baby like you? You’re the best man I’ve ever known.”
Kahtar didn’t bother responding. She had absolutely no idea. No clue. The woman was a child, a zygote in time.
Welcome held his hand over Beth’s belly, looking into her eyes for permission. She nodded and lifted the warm throw to grant access. Welcome surprised them both by slipping his hand underneath Beth’s nightshirt and Kahtar knew without scanning he’d put it right inside her silky panties. “Sorry. I’ve never tried to scan light in a being so early on. Your baby is only a very healthy division of cells and genetic coding right now.” He smiled at Beth as he put one hand behind her for support and pressed the other against her. His green eyes looked a bit near-sighted as he focused on his scan. “Your baby will be female. Does your father have red hair?”
“He did. Most of his hair is gone now. Will she?”
“No,” Welcome chuckled. “I just sense it in your genes. A lot of Cultuelle Khristos are red heads too. Such traits tend to repeat in clans because we have a smaller gene pool.”
Kahtar crossed his arms impatiently, aware Welcome was trying to soothe his angry wife and too impatient to endure blathering.
“People marry outside the clan though?” said Beth.
Kahtar blew out a breath, but Palmer ignored him, smugly sitting with his hand inside his wife’s drawers while he chatted.
“Of course! Not all clans do everything the same, mi
nd you. We’re as diverse a group of people as any in the outside world. We follow the same ten laws, but interpretation differences can be vast. Still, even clans with strict beliefs understand small gene pools can be a bad thing.”
Beth blanched and her mouth fell open.
“What’s wrong?” both men demanded.
She bit her lip, trying not to answer, but as always the words tumbled out against her will. “I just realized no one in the clan will love my child because you’re all so caught up in genetics, everyone will think only that I’ve given her my seeker blood!”
“Of course they’ll love her!” said Welcome.
Beth shook her head at him. “You’re all horribly prejudiced!”
“I know,” Welcome sighed. “But babies have a delicious defense against even prejudice. You’ve sensed babies’ hearts in the Arc, right? Few—whether Covenant Keepers or seekers—can resist a baby’s heart.”
“But no matter how sweet it is, she won’t always be a baby!” said Beth, her eyes tearing up. “I want the clan to really love her!”
At that moment Beth’s worries seemed a small thing to Kahtar. Welcome finally removed his hand.
“What color?” asked Kahtar, tense from head to toe.
“Red,” said Welcome.
None of the tension in Kahtar’s body drained. “How does my white and Beth’s blue and yellow make red?”
“Almost all of your family—the Constantine’s—have red light in their DNA, and I’d bet Beth’s mother does too. Maybe even her Seeker father. All that red overrode the rest.”
“No sign of white?” Kahtar dared hope.
“None, not even pink edges. Good luck when this one is two years old. Maybe this is my prejudice, but people with red light tend to be quite hot-headed.”
The thought of a temperamental two-year-old daughter—his biological daughter, made of Constantine DNA and Beth’s DNA—with none of the danger of immortality—made Kahtar laugh out loud as relief flooded his heart.
Sensing it Beth smiled, tears shining in her eyes. “Finally catching up?” she teased. “We’re having a baby and I’ve been swinging between scared and wow, too.”
Laughing, Kahtar grabbed Beth’s shoulders and hauled her up for a proper hug. “Sweet ilu! Imagine this! And the clan will love her, you watch.” Joy danced into his heart and wiped the fear away. He buried his face in Beth’s smooth hair, allowing himself to feel it.
BLOODY DETAILS—THANKSGIVING EVE
AS SHE WALKED down the porch steps, Beth went over the picky Covenant Keeper checklist.
Nothing from this world in the Arc.
Natural fabrics.
No nail polish.
No watch. Not even the wind-up one.
No hairspray or perfume.
All white clothing, including my underwear, for a funeral.
It might or might not be a problem that her skirt had a zipper and she’d worn a nude bra. Beth’s head felt foggy and she wanted to take a nap, not go to a funeral for someone she’d never met. Kahtar had said she couldn’t worm her way out of any funeral, because clans supported every member.
“Pfft,” she scoffed to herself. “Unless your dad is a seeker and you’ve spent the past month barfing your way through every clan function.” Beth doubted any member of the clan would mind if she tossed her breakfast at home this morning rather than in the cave again. Holy smokes does sound amplify in that cave!
Trudging to the tesseract she patted her clothing to make sure she hadn’t tucked her cell phone into her bra strap or waistband. In addition to public vomiting, she’d also recently exposed the clan to ringtones. Forgetting the device in her pocket, the explicit version of Eminem’s No Love had sounded a five minute warning, completely ruining the fact that for once she’d been early. Her punishment had been to stand outside the cave and apologize to every single member as they left the Glory service. The Mother had suspended the sentence halfway through when Beth had fainted—something pregnancy had done to her four times now. It might have been the most embarrassing moment of her life, but today was young.
Beth double checked the shallow pockets of her skirt before stepping into a wavering spot of darkness next to a bush. In a flash of veined light the tesseract transported her to the Arc. Avoiding direct eye contact with any of the Old Guard standing watch, Beth hurried through the windy doorway. The blast of air blew her skirt up, obscuring her vision and wedging her panties somewhere no cloth had gone before. She wondered if that’s why so few women left the Arc, and realized with the eyes of Old Guard on her she couldn’t fix it.
Beth ran the entire path to the cave without knocking the offending fabric loose. Despite the cold November day, the exertion left her panting. The sound echoed as she descended the switchbacks into the limestone cavern. Several Covenant Keepers turned to look at her and quickly looked away. Instead of being embarrassed, Beth fought the urge to fix her undies right then and there.
In the cavern thousands of the clan were assembled, holding candles and chanting a quiet prayer. Beth couldn’t see where they were getting the thick white candles. Maybe she had been supposed to bring one, or maybe there was a place in the cavern no one had mentioned before. The words to the prayer weren’t familiar either. Beth took an empty seat among a group of kids and remained silent.
At the lowest point in the main cavern, the man who had passed on, Gamper Foid, lay on a stone slab in the flickering light, surrounded by his family and hundreds of Warriors of ilu. From Beth’s vantage point, Gamper looked every day of his age. Kahtar had said he’d died in his sleep at one hundred and fifty-seven years old. It seemed like a nice long life to Beth, but a woman who appeared to be his wife sobbed heartbrokenly beside his body. The empty ache in her heart where Gamper belonged drifted over the crowd and Beth felt the shadow of it. Her heart ached in response, and tears filled her eyes.
Someday I’ll leave Kahtar feeling like that and he’ll have to feel it forever. That thought made her heart really ache. The only comfort Kahtar would have when she died would have to come from his clans as he repeated through time, dying and being born again and again, but never again being with the only one who ever knew his secret.
Beth suddenly wanted to be part of the clan bringing comfort to Gamper’s widow. It’s what clans did. She listened closely to the chant of the children around her, and at last was able to join in with the familiar chorus as they knelt. The sound of so many changing position echoed in the vast limestone cavern. Old Guard shimmered brightly, their inner light illuminating the cave, reflecting across stalactites and stalagmites. A particularly brilliant blast shimmered like a drapery of diamonds above Gamper’s body.
The glittering lights in the cave felt like a song in Beth’s heart. Comforted and relaxed at last, she fearlessly shifted position and dislodged her wedgie, watching the lights change. They glittered red and blue like a disco ball, sparkling over Gamper’s family. It really didn’t seem to fit the somber ceremony. The children beside Beth fidgeted, and others began to look around. Beth avoided eye contact, certain the children had noticed her wedgie action. It shocked her they’d misbehave at a funeral; Covenant Keeper children seemed to know the rules as well as the adults. Over the last few months she had often been amazed at how easily the children fell into the routine of cave gatherings.
Near the light show and Gamper’s body Beth at last spotted Kahtar, head and shoulders above the other warriors in his funeral white. Her heart skipped a beat. Kahtar was the reason she endured the rules and strangeness of Cultuelle Khristos. That man owned her heart, and for all his warrior chief bossiness and serious demeanor while with the clan, she knew inside he was kind, loving, and had the driest sense of humor she’d ever known. In the crowd of young warriors he stood apart somehow, a bit weathered, but looking capable enough to lift the marble table Gamper lay on.
The pain of the widow’s grief assaulted her again, and Beth turned her eyes away from admiring her husband and closed them to focus on the hearts arou
nd her. She sensed the kids on either side poking at each other and whispering and wondered at their overreaction. It was as if they’d never seen a wedgie maneuver before. Maybe Cultuelle Khristos didn’t get them. Maybe their underwear was magic.
Someone grabbed Beth’s arm and her eyes popped open, encountering a glaring young woman. Beth recognized her as a relative of Gamper’s who had been standing by his body moments before. The murmur of shocked voices around them grew. Beth immediately thought of the last time she’d gotten in trouble and patted her pockets again. Definitely no phone.
The woman shook her arm and hissed, “Why did you do this? What did my grandfather do to deserve your disrespect?”
She couldn’t believe this was happening because of one subtle tug, but Beth still had to answer direct questions. Having been born with the inability to lie was a nuisance, especially at moments when all she wanted was the ability to disappear. “I’m sorry! It was really uncomfortable. I didn’t think anyone would notice and I didn’t mean any disrespect to your grandfather!”
Kahtar appeared, his bulk parting the assembling crowd. He took one look at Beth and hauled her to her feet. The colorful lights sparkling around the cavern vanished.
Beth’s heart sank in sudden understanding as her husband muttered, “The soles of your shoes are colored!”
They were worse than colored. They were prisms. It was the designer’s trademark. There was sympathy in Kahtar’s steely eyes as he bent toward her ear, ignoring the growing speculation about the disruption and the hissing comments about orphans.
“It’d be best if you go and I’ll sort this out,” Kahtar whispered. “Old Guard? Or walk of shame?”
Beth kept her eyes on his, unable to bear looking at the condemnation of the clan around her. The Old Guard could take her arm and transport her to the cabin under the veil in a split second. She could hide her red face in private there. But the thought of the giant Old Guard touching her again, moving her like light, was more than she could bear. The Old Guard terrified Beth more than any walk of shame.
FOREVER The Constantines' Secret: A Covenant Keeper Novel Page 3
