He sits back down and pushes the cup of coffee into my hands. “You’ll need to wake up first.”
“Start talkin’,” I tell him before I lose my patience. “My tolerance is thin, brother.”
I can’t believe this shit, he looks remorseful, sad even.
What the fuck is going on with him?
“When you were away last year, I found out something about your mom.”
What. The. Fuck.
“And…”
“We’re not cousins,” he says quietly.
“Jesus, Brax. Is this why you’ve been acting shady? You were afraid my feelings would be hurt to find out I’m not your kin?” I chuckle and go to stand until he orders me to stay put.
“We’re brothers. Blood brothers.”
I snort. “And you think this because?”
“I found a letter from your mom in my dad’s belongings, and when Pop came back, I had him confirm what the letter revealed.”
I lean back in my chair. “So, my dad wasn’t my dad, and your dad is?”
“Yes.”
I shake my head. “Dude, our moms were muffler bunnies before they were ol’ ladies. Honestly, this isn’t that big of a shock. Why were you so worried to tell me?”
Braxxon scrubs his face with both hands with a sigh. “Because there’s a bigger secret and I now had two bombs to drop on you,” he confesses when he looks at me. “You’re my best friend, brother, and I’m about to lose that.”
This is getting a little too female for me. “It can’t be that bad, Brax. We’ve been friends since the womb, man.”
“When your president of an MC, there are certain things you have to keep to yourself, things you have to honor at someone’s request,” he chokes. “Yesterday when Jinx lost it on everyone, it cut me deep.”
I cross my arms. “Go on.”
“She begged for me to open the gate and I wouldn’t. I held her here against her will when I promised her I wouldn’t.”
“I’m glad you feel that way,” she says when she walks into the room in a pair of short shorts, her own t-shirt, and a pair of fuzzy slippers. “I’m grabbing a cup of coffee, and then I’ll let you get back to your talk.”
“No, Jinx. He’s probably going to need you in a minute,” Brax tells her sadly.
When she’s seated at the table with her coffee looking all kinds of uncomfortable I take her right hand into my left and squeeze.
“You guys friends or more,” he questions. “It’s imperative I know the true nature of your relationship before I go on.
“We’re friends,” she tells him. “We’re friends who mess around.”
I squeeze her hand again. “We’re both too emotionally unavailable for anything more.”
“I was afraid of that,” he murmurs as he shoots off a text. “I hope she can get you through this, Pyro. I do.”
I turn towards the sound of the entrance door opening and closing.
“I’m sorry,” Braxxon sighs dragging my attention back to him. “I really am.”
“What’s there to be sorry for?”
Jinx’s jerks her hand from mine with a gasp. I turn my body towards her and grab her face with both my hands. “What’s wrong?”
Her eyes bounce from mine to behind me.
“What did you do, Brax,” I grit through teeth, dropping my hands to my lap, too anxious to turn and see for myself.
“Turn around, Stefan.”
I stiffen, and my gaze goes back to Jinx when her hands move to cover her mouth, her eyes still on who’s behind me.
I close my eyes and inhale a deep breath before I turn around in my chair, hoping to God I’m hearing things. “This better be a nightmare,” I hiss. “There’s no way a brother would do this to me.”
“It’s not a nightmare, Stefan,” she whispers. “Open your eyes.”
Fuck me!
The dead heart inside of my chest begins to beat rapidly to the sound of her voice. A voice I thought to be long gone, one I was never to hear again. A voice I know will belong to Lana if I open my eyes.
“Get her out of here, Brax,” I say quietly while I use all the strength I have left after being hit by this semi-truck to keep my eyes closed.
“Lana… go over to the clubhouse and wait in the lounge. I’ll be there in a second.”
I choke when he says her name out loud.
“She’s gone,” he sighs.
I grunt. “Jinx,” I ask, not trusting him to tell me the truth.
“She’s gone, Pyro,” she confirms over the sound of the door opening and closing.
I place my hands on the table to keep me steady, my entire body so racked with anger, the shaking making it hard to form a single word.
“She had a pulse, a faint one,” he struggles to find his words through his own emotions. “Cleaner wanted to make sure she survived surgery before givin’ our hopes up.”
I lift my gaze to his. “She’s… she’s alive.”
“She was distraught and begged me to set her free when she woke up from her coma,” he pleads for me to understand, but I don’t. I won’t.
“I almost killed myself with grief,” I choke out. “Why would you do that to me?”
Jinx hiccups beside me and I wish I could turn away from Braxxon and give her my attention, but in five minutes, everything has been ruined.
“You saw what happened with Jinx yesterday. We break women,” he roars. “It fuckin’ kills me.”
“How dare you,” she seethes. “Don’t compare me to her!”
I pick up my coffee cup and throw it over Braxxon’s head, it shatters against the wall, the coffee leaving trail marks as it runs down the white wall. “Why is she back then? If she wanted to be fuckin’ free, why come back from a faked death?”
“She went lookin’ for Akela and came up short. Lana didn’t find Akela until she hired a private investigator to go diggin’ around.”
Fuck does the truth hurt.
“Congrats to Lana for reuniting with her sister. Why the fuck is she back though?”
Braxxon tucks his hands into his jean pockets. “Because of you.”
I growl. “Explain.”
He leans back against the counter with a shrug as if I’m supposed to already know. “Akela wouldn’t leave you.”
“The fuck?” I say when I pull away from the table and straighten my stance.
“Akela saw what Lana’s death done to you.”
“Fake death,” I seethe. “Fake death.”
“She was angry for you,” he admits as if it will magically cure my anger knowing.
“You gave her money to start over?”
I shouldn’t want to know the details of her faked death, or how she’s survived all this time or any other fucking aspect, but I do. Damn, I do.
“And a new identity.” Braxxon nods.
This shit keeps getting better and better.
“Who all knew she was alive?”
“Doesn’t matter,” he grumbles. “Lana’s alive and not dead.”
It fucking matters!
I no longer trust my brotherhood.
I’m supposed to be able to trust these men with my life and wellbeing.
It fucking matters.
“Who?”
“I’m the only one who's known since it happened. Winter, Akela and Ripley didn’t know until a few months ago.”
Everyone’s behavior towards me suddenly makes sense, and it fucking kills me to say what I’m about to say, but these emotions are strangling the life out of me. “I never thought a man could break my heart, but you have,” I admit. “You’ve fuckin’ killed me, brother,” I rasp. “Killed Me.”
The silence that follows it too loud. “Go,” I order, a moment later I hear Braxxon’s footsteps as he leaves the room.
“You’re cryin’, Pyro,” she whispers when Braxxon is out of the room.
Fuck, am I?
I swipe at my face with my palms, and sure enough, she’s right. I’m fucking crying.
“Breathe, Pyro.�
�
I’m not breathing?
Soft hands cup my face. “Breathe.”
I thought I was!
“Come back to me,” she whispers. “Breathe with me.”
Her hands squeeze at my face. “Pyro, come on. Do like me,” she pleads, and when I can’t get any air into my lungs, she screams. “Goddamnit! Breathe!”
Everything’s black.
My lungs feel like they are on fire.
I can hear my own heartbeat in my ears.
It’s so damn hot in here.
What is this shit?
Air.
I need air.
I gasp for breath.
“There you go,” someone coos. “A few more.”
A few more what? Breaths?
I’m fucking trying!
“Shh… it’s over now,” a voice says in my ear as fingers trail in my hair. “A few more.”
I open my eyes, gasping for air, cradled to Jinx’s chest on the floor of the kitchen.
“Fuck,” I rasp.
“You’re okay,” she whispers, rocking me like a baby. “You’re okay.”
I’m weak, but I pull away from her. “I’m not,” I croak. “I’m far from okay.”
Jinx uses her hands to wipe her own tears from her cheeks. “I know.”
I shake my head. “Did you break my fall,” I question her as I sit up, using the bottom of my shirt to wipe the sweat from my forehead.
A sob breaks from her throat. “I wasn’t gonna be the one to watch you fall.”
She’s on her knees which are bright red, I move her legs to straighten them out. “Jinx, you’ve got bruises.”
“I’ll be okay,” she whispers, her attention going to the space behind me. “You should probably go,” she snaps.
I stiffen and turn my body around, she’s right, I don’t want Winter anywhere near me. “I suggest you take the ladies advice,” I grit.
A cry breaks from her throat. “I tried to tell you!”
“Not hard enough,” I yell and point to the doorway. “Fucking leave!”
I turn my attention back to Jinx who has a devastated look on her face. “What?”
“What happened last night, can’t happen again,” she rasps.
The anger I felt ten minutes ago returns with unrelenting wrath. “Why the fuck not?”
Jinx stands, holds out a hand for me to take, and she uses her body strength to pull me up.
How she knew my leg was stuck stiff beats the hell out of me.
“I hate to say this, I do, but you need to hear her out,” she says quietly swiping away a stray tear. “You wouldn’t even look at her, she might give you answers to questions you’re probably asking yourself right now.”
I feel my nose flare with my anger. “I can’t believe this shit. You should be angry too.”
“I’m sad, not angry,” she says, grabbing my cut in her fingers and pulling me to her. “I imagine Braxxon let her come back because he saw how close we were getting.”
“That makes no sense,” I say while shaking the confusion around in my head.
“It does. Let’s face it, Pyro, our friendship came quick and easy,” she says as she raises to her tiptoes to look me in the eyes. “A relationship would’ve followed.”
My eyes search hers for a beat. “You think I’m the kind of man that would walk away, even after last night?”
Jinx presses her lips lightly to mine, and I can’t help but wonder if this is her goodbye. “I know you’re not,” she says when she pulls back. “Which is why I’m telling you to go.”
She lets her grip on me fall and steps back. “You’re my friend, Stefan. I want you to be happy, she might be the way to that happiness.”
“Unbelievable.”
“Just hear her out,” she pleads.
“She faked her fuckin’ death to get away from me, Shortcake.”
“I know,” she whispers. “We still can’t mess around anymore. Your emotions are in turmoil, it wouldn’t be fair to me.”
I tilt my head to study her, my beautiful blue-eyed red-headed friend, the woman who kisses me as if I matter.
I’m something to her, and she wants me to be happy.
“And when I get my head straight, you’ll still be here, yeah?” I ask her because it’s fucking essential she’s here.
Her blue eyes cloud with sadness. “Where else would I be?”
I take a step, pull her into me, wrap my arms around her, and dig my chin into her neck; breathing her in one last time before I let her go.
“On your word, yeah?”
“It’s all I have.”
“Fuck,” I say as turn, my stomach in knots as I walk away.
“Pyro,” she calls when I’m near the doorway. “Treat her like you treat me.”
I jerk back. “Meaning?”
“Gently.”
I fist my hands. “She doesn’t deserve it.”
“Maybe,” she murmurs. “Show her what she gave up.”
I should stay here in the kitchen with Jinx, she’s uncomplicated, sweet, and so fucking caring, but I know I have to get past this betrayal, I got to handle this shit.
“Go,” she urges.
When I’m in the parking lot, crossing to the Clubhouse, I light a cigarette, hotboxing the shit out of it. I stop at the door, hesitant to enter my own fucking club, and I can’t explain how much it fucking angers me. I throw my smoke to the ground and enter the building. I don’t even stop in the hall when I hear her voice as she speaks with Braxxon, the fucking trader ass bitch.
“They’ve grown close recently,” Braxxon tells her when she questions my relationship with the redheaded woman.
When I enter the lounge, I point my finger at Braxxon. “Don’t fuckin’ discuss my personal life with her,” I hiss and turn to face the woman who fucked me sideways, and inhale sharply when she turns to me.
Still so exotically beautiful.
I close my eyes with a groan. “Leave, brother.”
“Everyone’ll be wakin’ soon,” he grumbles.
I reopen my eyes and send him a glare. “I’ll tell them to fuckin’ leave too.”
Braxxon looks down with a shake of his head and leaves the room.
“Don’t be angry with him, Stefan,” Lana whispers. “He was honoring my wishes.”
I walk over to one of the sofas to sit, my leg aching from my fall in the kitchen. “You might as well sit.” I gesture to a sofa to the side. I don’t look at her until I hear the fabric of the leather couch squeak.
I wish I could say she changed and didn’t look the same. It would probably make my heart beat slower if so, but she hasn’t. Lana’s still an exotic beauty; the only change on her, is her hair, it’s cropped to her shoulders. It used to be long. She’s even wearing a strapless sundress, one of her signature looks; but no matter how fucking gorgeous that dress sits on her body, or how hard my cock strains against my jeans, I’m not going anywhere near her.
“Talk,” I order when my eyes reach her teary-eyed stare.
“You’ve grown hard,” she whispers with a bite of her lip. A move that would have brought me to my knees not long ago.
“Losin’ someone you thought you loved will do that to ya.”
“Thought?” she questions.
I lean back and cross my legs at my ankles. “Yep. Not so sure I ever loved you now.” It’s a lie, looking at her now, I know I loved her, but she doesn’t need to fucking know it. “Get to it.”
Lana hugs herself and looks away from me for a moment. “Do you know I was raped before I was shot?”
I stiffen because I didn’t know that, but she knows I would have been there for her, so it still doesn’t excuse what’s she’s done to me.
“I’m sorry,” I tell her and mean it.
“When I woke in a strange place, and everything came rushing back to me, I couldn’t breathe. I was suffocating in fear,” she explains softly. “It’s not an excuse, it’s the truth. It’s all I have.”
“So, you
’re back because Akela wouldn’t leave?”
Lana uncrosses her arms, stands, and paces. “One of the reasons.”
I chuckle. “If you came back for me, you’re sadly fuckin’ mistaken. Yeah, I’d probably fuck you again, you’re a great lay, but beyond that? Fuck no am I doing this with you again.”
My cock deflates in my jeans, pissed off I’m denying him of a future with Lana’s delectable pussy.
“You’re serious?”
I uncross my ankles and stand with a glare. “Dead fuckin’ serious. No pun intended.”
A sob escapes her throat.
I walk to her and bring my hands up to cup her face as gently as I can, her eyes search mine for the meaning of my touch. “You. Fuckin. Killed. Me.” I punctuate, drop my hands and walk away from her.
∞∞∞
Chapter Eleven
Jinx
Pyro didn’t speak with Lana for too long, and I know this because he took off out of the compound on his bike twenty minutes later. He’s been gone all day, it’s almost midnight, and he still isn’t home. I’m worried about him for many reasons. Pyro isn’t supposed to be riding his motorcycle yet, and last time he took off in a Lana induced emotional state, he went missing for months.
Speaking of Lana, she’s had a busy day with apologizing. Some understood, and some didn’t. Akela welcomed her back for a moment before letting her anger slip through the niceties. Smokey understands her reasoning the most out of everyone; for someone who doesn’t speak a lot, it’s weird.
I don’t personally know her, I know of how she was before she faked her death; from the stories, I’ve heard.
She was kind is the most popular reference.
I can’t lie.
I’m furious on behalf of Pyro.
She fucked him over really good with her ‘disappearing act’, which is why I’m sitting in the parking lot waiting for him. I’ll give it another hour or two before I give up for the day, and then tomorrow I’ll be right back out here, waiting for him to return. It is what people do when they care about someone.
I’m not out here hoping we can salvage our friends with benefits agreement we made last night, I’m out here with genuine concern, and the rest of his family should be out here too. It’s only two prospects at the gate, and myself and Lana.
She’s sitting at a different picnic table than me, but she’s out here.
Reconstruct Me (Breakneck Book 5) Page 8
