“About five weeks ago at his birthday party. I wanted to tell you everyday but you were still….well you know. But we can talk about that later. How are you doing, really?” The party I missed. An immediate understanding flashed before me. She was there for Gabe not Felix.
“It’s getting easier to breath. I don’t feel as numb as I once did. It still hurts….a lot, but I am slowly getting there.” I decide to tell her the truth, if she is truly my best friend she will understand. “Felix and I have been talking. He is helping me through it. He understands what it’s like. You know to lose someone so close to you and the constant ache of helplessness.”
She looked sad but nodded. “I am glad he is there for you. He really is a great guy. It was pretty pathetic that I had to reach out to him so I could feel close to you. I know he only puts up with me because I am your friend but I was glad he didn’t push me away. It helped me to not fall apart.”
I didn’t realize that my pulling away was affecting so many people around me. I thought I was the only one hurting and everyone’s life would move on. I may have lost grandma but my parents, Felix and Kim lost me.
I got up from my chair, walked over to Kim and pulled her into a hug. “I am sorry.”
“You don’t have to be sorry Lizzy. Just be here. Talk to me if it gets to be too much.”
“Is the touchy feely stuff over with? I need my girl” Felix says.
Kim and I laugh at Felix’s mock disgusted shutter.
***
Felix
Thank God they finally made up. I don’t think I could handle much more of that girl’s constant noisiness. Always in my business asking where I was going, who I was seeing and if I talked to my girl. Even when Angel was talking to me she never asked that many questions. I don’t understand how they can be friends.
Kim is sporting Gabe’s letterman. I have to give him grief later on that. He is in for it with that one.
Angel looks happy. It’s not the same happy as she was before but I can tell she is trying. I was really young when my mom was killed. The few memories I have of her remind me of reasons why I can’t give up and become like my father. I refuse to be the bitter shell of a man that gave up on life or the one who turns away from others who need him to step up. My mom’s memories are worth cherishing not forgetting them at the end of a bottle.
Angel had tons of memories that she would be able to carry with her. I could almost hear Elizabeth telling Angel “Go beyond the finish line. Just because it marks the end doesn’t mean your journey stops.”
I know that just because we see a glimpse of the old Angel doesn’t mean we are close to the finish line. We still have a long way to go.
Thankfully she is going to allow me to fight beside her.
Chapter 16
Beth
It’s been almost 4 months since grandma passed away. Standing in front of the mirror I slide my hands down to smooth out my dress. We are graduating today. I am walking across the stage to receive my diploma there will be the starting point to my future adventures.
Dad walks in holding an envelope. As he stood there watching me I added the final touches to my outfit, heart-shaped diamond earrings and a long necklace with a small ‘E’.
“Beth, I have something for you.” He handed me the envelope and sat on the edge of my bed.
I looked at the white envelope emblazed with ‘My Elizabeth’ that had grandma’s writing. I glanced at dad confused.
“Grandma wrote letters to all of us. They were in her belongings at the retirement home. The director of the center was instructed to mail them a few months after she passed. It’s up to you if you want to read it now or wait until after the ceremony.” He slowly came over to me tenderly kissed my forehead, walked out of the room and closed the door.
***
My parents and I made our way through the outdoor stadium. It was a warm sunny day. A slight breeze chilled my hot skin as we found our way to the assigned seating area. I made my way over to other side of the building where the rest of the graduating class was waiting.
There were professional photographers lined up along the stage along with some parents. The click of the camera went off at least twenty times before I found Kim and Gabe.
You could feel the energy radiating from all the excitement. Two strong arms wrapped around my waist from behind. A warm kiss was placed on my cheek. “You look amazing.” Felix whispered in my ear.
“Thanks” I turned around in his arms and wrapped mine around his waist.
Interlacing our fingers Felix pulled me to the clearing a few feet away. Once we were clear of prying eyes I handed him grandma’s letter. He smiled when he read the envelope.
“She wrote me a letter” I said.
“I see that. Have you read it?”
“Yes”
“and….?”
“and it was beautiful.”
He ran his fingers over the name and gestured toward the envelope in an attempt to see if he had my permission to open it. I nodded.
Once he was done reading he meticulously folded the letter, put it back in the envelope and handed it to me. He kissed me on the cheek and walked we walked back with our heads held high to join the reset of our class.
My Dearest Elizabeth,
For years now I have asked you to be the strong person I know you are. Yes, you are strong Child. I know because it’s my blood running in your veins and you know I never back down from a challenge.
You have my name and you have my spirit.
When you read this letter I will be long gone but I will still be watching over you. I will be in the wind that blows through your hair on your special occasion. The rain will be the tears I cry because I am just so proud of the woman you will become. I will be the calm before the storm that will prepare you for your fight.
Be strong child and hold your head up high.
Thank you Grandma…..
About the Author
Bonnie Patesel recently discovered her love of fictional novels. After spending thousands of dollars on reading material she took it upon herself to start writing. Inspired by her families struggle to overcome depression she wrote Growing Up Strong to help young women know that help is only one call away.
Growing Up Strong Page 5
