by Silk Smooth
I turned to walk away, but Karrine yelled after me. “I’m not coming home, and don’t even think about comin’ to look for me when I’m gone, because I will be far, far away from here.”
I swung around with wrinkles lining my forehead and clapped my hands. “Good, bitch. What do you want me to do? Fall down on my knees and start crying? Hell, no, Karrine, let me repeat . . . that ain’t me. I’ll tell you what—”
I stormed out of the room and hurried down the hallway and into Honey’s bedroom at the end of the hallway. As I busted through the double doors, he had the white chick kneeled on his California King bed while fucking the shit out of her doggie style. She was really getting her clown on now, but I was too upset to comment on her lack of skills.
Honey snapped his head to the side to look at me. “Damn, don’t you know how to knock?” he asked.
“Don’t you know when to stop fucking? How about right now? I need your help with something. Put on a robe or something—and bring your checkbook with you.”
“Now?” he griped.
All these disobedient kids were working me. I tried to be nice, but this was ridiculous. I took off my shoe and flung it at his ass, hitting him in the head.
“The next shoe will be aimed at her. Get out of that nasty coochie and come in here where I need you.”
I left the room, hoping that Honey would do like I told him to. I waited outside of the room Karrine was in, and less than five minutes later, Honey came out of his bedroom with a white, fluffy bath towel wrapped around him. I could tell he was mad by the frown on his face, but I seriously did not care.
I went into the room where Karrine was and Honey followed behind me with the checkbook in his hand. Karrine looked past me and glared at him.
“I want you to know that you will pay for this,” she said with attitude, but in a soft tone. “I can’t believe you did this.”
Honey didn’t say a word, and unlike me, he wasn’t about to argue with Karrine. “Karrine wants to follow the yellow brick road and go far, far away from here. At this point, I don’t care if she runs off to Ethiopia and never comes back. Please write her a check that will take care of all of her expenses. I don’t want her to come crawling back on her knees, so make sure you write the check for a suitable amount.”
Honey pondered and sucked his teeth.
“I don’t want your goddamn money,” Karrine said, then massaged her shoulder and squinted from the pain. “I’ll be able to handle me, trust me on that.”
I pointed my finger at her. “Bitch, shut up. I’m trying to buy you out of my life, so I must make this good.”
Honey wrote out a check and handed it to me. It was for a hundred thousand dollars, but I ripped it up and let the pieces fall to the floor.
“Nigga, what the fuck is that supposed to do? Can you live off of that amount of money? Hell no.”
All he did was shrug. I snatched the checkbook from Honey’s hand and wrote the check myself. It was for one million dollars, made out to Karrine Douglas. I ripped the check from the checkbook and laid it on her lap.
“Take it or leave it, I don’t care. Your shit at home will be packed and delivered to you tomorrow. Your number will be blocked from ever contacting me again, and your poor piss ass mother never wants to see you again.”
I turned to walk out, but Honey grabbed my arm. “Stop this,” he said in a calm manner. “You know she needs you, as we all do.”
“Well, all I need is a hot-ass bath, a good shit, and a joint. Until we speak again, I’m out of here.”
I got the fuck out of there, but like the sorry-ass mother that I was, I stopped at a liquor store to get Chyna her chips and a soda. I even threw in Simone some peanuts and wine coolers, knowing damn well that neither of them would appreciate it.
KARRINE
2
I was glad that Mama was gone, and what she had said to me went in one ear and out the other. She just didn’t understand how I was feeling, nor did she seem to care. I wasn’t going to complain about the check for a million dollars, and you best believe that after all of the pain and suffering I had been through, this check was worth it.
My body was aching so badly, and whenever I moved it hurt even worse. I tried to sit up, but even that was difficult to do. Honey stood looking at me as if I was the worse child on this earth. I viewed him as a fake-ass nigga, as well as a killer.
“Why are you still standin’ there lookin’ at me? You can leave now and be sure to tell your mother that I said thanks for the check and I will be cashin’ it. It’s not gon’ bounce, is it?”
“I’m not going to answer yo’ stupid question, but before I leave, can I get you anything?”
“Don’t try to be nice to me, nigga. You’d better hope that it takes me a minute to get well because I promise you that I’m goin’ to deal with you in my own way.”
Honey came up to the bed and stood next to me.
“Your threats do not scare me, so you’re wasting your time. I’ll get you some pain meds, in hopes that they knock you out and allow you some time to think about all this bullshit you’ve been spilling. I’m real disappointed in you Karrine, and I always thought you were that smarter sister. I guess I was wrong.”
I was about to respond to his comment, but a knock on the door silenced me. Honey and me looked at the door, and when it came open, it was a white chick with a silk red robe on.
“I’m so sorry to interrupt,” she said. “But I was wondering if I should go or if everything is, uh, cool right now.”
“Go,” Honey said. “I’ll give you a call later.”
With a disappointed look on the chick’s face, she closed the door. I assumed she was the chick Mama had mentioned who was in another room fucking Honey. This whole thing made me sick to my stomach. I was very jealous, and that was why I needed to get away from all of this. I now had more money to do as I wished, so after another day, maybe two, I was getting the fuck out of here.
“As I was getting ready to say . . . I’m sorry that you’re disappointed in me, but after seeing that chick, I’m even more disappointed in you. Why don’t you just go ahead and get out of here, Honey? I’m so done with this and I do not feel comfortable being in the presence of a nigga who tried to kill me.”
“If I had wanted to kill you, trust me, you would be dead. You did more harm to yourself by falling to the floor and hitting your head. And it ain’t my fault if you’re clumsy.”
“The force from the bullet you fired into me is what knocked me down. This has nothin’ to do with me bein’ clumsy and yo’ ass knows it. Now, please, get the fuck out of here. I have nothin’ else to say to you.”
Honey walked away and went into the bathroom. Minutes later, he came back with two pills and a glass of water. He gave me the water and both of the pills. I looked at the pills in my hand then tossed the water right in his face.
“Fuck you and these pills! Get out.”
Honey removed the towel from around his waist and stood naked as he wiped the water from his face. I could tell he was mad, but he remained calm.
“If you throw away those pills, I’m not going to give you anymore. That pain is going to get real intense when those drugs wear off, and I’m just telling you that for your own good.”
He walked off, and I had to turn my head just so I wouldn’t admire him from the backside. I hoped his bitch was gone and I couldn’t wait to feel better so I could check out of here. I closed my eyes and did my best to go back to sleep.
I woke up to a burst of sun beaming through the room. I could barely crack my eyes it was so bright, but I managed to open them wide when I could feel pain in my shoulder and arm. One side of my body felt stiff, so I did my best to move, just to make sure I wasn’t paralyzed. I was in a lot of pain, but when I looked for the pills that were in my hand before I had gone to sleep, I couldn’t find them. I also had to pee, so I tried to get out of bed, but it was very difficult to do.
The first thing that I had to do was remove the I
Vs from my arm. I tightly squeezed my eyes and pulled the small needles out of me. Ever since I was a little girl, I’d hated needles. I told myself that those IVs wouldn’t enter me again, and I meant that shit.
The pink nightgown I had on was something an old lady would wear, and I had not a clue how it got on me. Either way, I gripped my arm and turned sideways to get off the bed. My body felt so weak, but I wasn’t about to sit there and pee on myself. Therefore, I scooted to the edge of the bed and placed my feet on the soft beige carpet. The room I was in was spacious and decked out in one of my favorite colors, gold. Burgundy was the other color, and everything matched fairly well.
I stood up, but unfortunately not for long. I couldn’t keep my balance, and my legs had buckled underneath me. The fall caused more pain to throb in my shoulder and arm. I wanted to call out for help, but I refused to do it.
Instead, using one of my hands to hold me up, and my shaky knees, I crawled on the floor. When I was almost to the bathroom, the bedroom door came open, and Honey stood in the doorway looking at me. He rocked a white sweat suit with a black wife beater underneath it.
“If you needed some help, all you had to do was push the button on that remote control. Here, let me show you.”
Honey didn’t bother to help me off the floor. Instead, he went over to the bed and picked up the remote. He flipped the TV to a certain channel that showed his office.
“See. Say hello to me. I can see you and you can see me. When you talk, I can hear you. I can see you other ways too, and by those frowns on your face, it looks like you’re in pain. Do you want some more pain meds?”
I rolled my eyes and kept it moving to the bathroom. Honey walked behind me, and when I got there and tried to pull myself up on the toilet, I couldn’t. My body was too weak and stiff as a board.
Honey bent over and scooped me off the floor then sat me on the toilet. My nightgown still covered me, but I had to pee so badly that I didn’t bother to lift it up. Peeing was such a relief, and I let out a deep sigh.
“You look like shit,” Honey said. “Why don’t you take off the nightgown and let me give you a bath? I’ll have the nurse remove those bandages and I’ll be happy to get those pills for you.”
“Stop tryin’ to be nice to me, please. I’m not goin’ to ever forgive you for this, and a bath is the least thing you can do for me.”
While I remained on the toilet, Honey turned on the waterfall faucets in the Jacuzzi tub. He added bubbles, then left the room. When he came back, the nurse who had been sitting in the chair yesterday was with him.
“Carefully remove her bandages,” Honey said to her. “She’s going to take a bath. After she’s done you can wrap her shoulder again.”
This time, I didn’t complain. I needed a hot bath, and maybe it would help to soothe some of the soreness in my body. The nurse opened my nightgown and carefully removed the bloody bandages as Honey had told her. She looked at my back and lightly touched where the bullet hole had entered.
“It’s going to be a while before this heals, so do not put your entire body in the tub. Just blot yourself with warm water and let me know when you’re done.”
All I did was nod. She left the bathroom, but Honey stayed.
“Stand up,” he said. “Ain’t you finished on the toilet yet?”
“Been finished, but I got it from here. I told you I didn’t need your help. You can get me those pills, though.”
Honey opened the medicine cabinet and got the pain meds for me. I stood up to take off my nightgown, but could barely stand. Honey wrapped his arms around me and held me up.
“Why am I so weak like this?” I questioned.
“Drugs. Removing the bullet wasn’t easy and the doctor had to make sure you stayed sleep. You know you’re nowhere near one hundred, so just cool out and let me do some things for you.”
“Why? Because yo’ ass feel guilty?”
“Honestly, no. I don’t.”
“Well, you should.”
Honey unbuttoned the rest of my nightgown and dropped it to the floor. I hoped he got a whiff of my piss and I’m sure he did. He bent over and swiped the nightgown from the floor. Before standing straight up, he pecked my midsection with his lips.
“Sexy,” he said. “Too bad you fucked around and got shot. If not, I would be getting me some of that pussy right now.”
“Tuh. I’m glad you think so, but I’m here to tell you that it ain’t goin’ down like that with us no more. Never, ever again, and I can promise you that.”
I slowly walked over to the tub, wondering how I was going to get in. I didn’t want to slip, fall, and break something.
“I’m not convinced yet,” Honey said, carefully lifting me. He slowly lowered me into the tub filled with bubbles. I had to admit that it felt really good.
“Remember what the nurse told you. Don’t lean all the way back into the water, and blot yourself with the towel. I’m going to take Trice some clothes to wash and then I’ll be back.”
I didn’t say anything, but when Honey left the bathroom, I wondered how I could still have feelings for him, especially after what he’d done. He was the one who had told Mama about what I’d said about her. He kept shit going between Mama and me by doing that, and then to shoot me was the worst thing possible.
But there I was, thinking about him. I was thinking about Mama too, and she’d made me so upset when she was here that I wanted to scream. I wanted to cry, too, but I couldn’t even do that. I missed my sisters and I knew they were worried about me. But as soon as I got my strength back, I was going to make some moves that would shock them all.
After downing the pills that Honey had given to me, I squeezed the soapy rag on my body and washed myself. With my eyes closed, I thought about everything from the million dollars to where I would ultimately move. Yeah, Cali had always been the dream for my final destination, but now I was thinking of somewhere quiet like Colorado or Nebraska. I even thought about moving out of the country, just to get away from everyone. It was definitely an option, and in a few more days I would make my decision.
As I was in deep thought, Honey came back into the bathroom. He stood next to the tub, looking down on me.
“How you doing in here?” he asked.
“I’m fine, but I would like some privacy, if you don’t mind.”
“Privacy? Why? So you can play with yourself?” He kneeled down next to the tub and pulled one of the clean towels from the rail. “You don’t have to do that, especially when I can do that for you.”
“Don’t touch me, Honey. I mean it.”
He dipped the towel in the warm water and lathered it with soap. “And if I do touch you, what are you going to do about it? It’s not like you can do much about it, so shut the fuck up and thank me later.”
Honey washed my back with the towel, very careful not to touch my wound. I let him do it, only because the shit felt good. I closed my eyes as he went from my back, to my breasts. From my breasts, to my legs. From my legs to my thighs, and from my thighs to my pussy. That was when I grabbed the rag and opened my eyes.
“I got that. Thank you very much.”
“Are you sure? You know I don’t mind taking care of that for you too.”
I gazed into his eyes, wanting so badly to pull on his locs and drag his ass into the tub with me. I couldn’t believe my thoughts of fucking him. Shame on me. I was sure he could read me, but I wasn’t about to give in.
“I’m positive. Now, please leave me in peace.”
Honey stood up and I saw his dick imprint that had swelled in his sweatpants. I was going to comment, but decided against it. He tried to be funny by pulling his dick out so I could see it. I winced and rolled my eyes.
“If you don’t mind, I have to drain the vein. Turn your head and don’t look at it, a’ight?”
What I did was not pay him no mind. I wanted to fall asleep in the tub, but I knew I couldn’t. For the next thirty minutes or so, I chilled and stayed in thought. I had to do somet
hing that would make Mama hate me more, that would leave me walking away from this with some kind of satisfaction. Yeah, the money was good, but I didn’t want Mama to think that she could buy me out of her life, per her own words.
The problem, however, was Simone and Chyna. I didn’t want them to hate me. I didn’t want them to feel as though I had betrayed them. But this wasn’t about them. It was about me. My sanity. My peace. And my happiness.
I was ready to get out of the tub, but Honey was nowhere to be found. The pain medicine had kicked in, but I was still feeling a little weak. Unfortunately, I had to stay in the tub until someone came to get me. That was almost ten minutes later, and it was Honey. He had a towel thrown over his shoulder and lotion was in his other hand.
He bent down next to me. “Put your arm around my neck and hold on tight.”
I put my arm around his neck and he lifted me from the tub. Water dripped from my body as he carried me out of the bathroom and into the bedroom. He laid me on the bed and dried my body with the towel. Afterward, he squeezed lotion in his hand, but I shook my head.
“You’ve already done enough. Thanks.”
“But I’m not finished yet. Let me soften you up.”
“I’m already soft, with or without a hole in my shoulder. Please find me another nightgown or somethin’ to put on. In the meantime, I’ll take care of the lotion.”
Honey ignored me and wiped the lotion on my leg. I reached out to slap him, but he grabbed my wrist.
“Grow up, Karrine. Cut the bullshit and do not put your fucking hands on me. Please don’t make me repeat myself again.”
I snatched my hand away from him. I swear I wanted to hurt this nigga for what he’d done, but ol’ stupid me had a soft spot for him. He rubbed the lotion between his hands, and then walked over to a closet where there were a few pieces of pajama pants and two nightgowns hanging. He pulled out a white one with flowers on it that buttoned down the middle. I sat up in bed as he took his time putting the nightgown on me. He fluffed my pillows and straightened and adjustened my bed. I sat, watching him go to the closet to get some house shoes. He removed the price tag from them and placed them on my feet. Afterward, he laid the remote on my lap.
